The Art____Chapter 3:
School Is No Place For Hexing Around

by GreggSharp Metroanime@mindspring.com

Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry, Sailor Moon (c) VIZ. i don't have money so don't sue me, hire me and we can BOTH make money.

part 2 was going to be the last, since there are so many "Ranma Mage" stories apparently being worked on, but due to some positive response, i'll be waiting to see if the other stories parallel mine before i
discontinue this story arc.

Note 2: Since this story originally was written back in 98 or so, i haven't seen the vast majority of these other promised stories. Anyone know if any of them were completed? -gregg

-------

"School, huh?" Ranma shrugged. "What kinda school?"

"Just pretend you DON'T know me," Akane glared at him.

"Akane right, Ranma, Shampoo take you to school. Or maybe you want play hookey?"

"Now, now, Shampoo. No pressure, remember?" Nabiki smiled thoughtfully. "Though some of my business transactions could be helped along by appearing to have a friendly affectionate side..."

"Everybody know Nabiki, nobody buy that."

Nabiki pouted, then shrugged. Shampoo might have a point.

"Ranma," Kasumi stepped up to hand Ranma's lunch to him, delicately blushing as her fingers brushed his as he took it from her.

Ranma froze up again. It occurred to almost everyone present that he could fight demons from hell, deal with misshapen creatures of Faerie, and face down evil sorcerers without a qualm. Just one shyly flirting girl though, and he started falling apart.

Shampoo and Nabiki exchanged a look, nodded, then each grabbed an arm and started dragging Ranma off to school.

"Boys," Akane muttered as she shook her head at the insanity of it all.

Ranma finally started walking under his own power, and Nabiki and Shampoo seemed at a loss for something to say. Ranma reviewed the spells he had handy and wondered about the mechanics necessary for
a Repel Water spell. Maybe a weave of Air and Fire, or Spirit and Air.

When they came within sight of the school, Ranma stopped. A crowd of boys was visible, and most had weapons of some kind. "What the..."

"Stay out of this, this is my fight!" Akane ran forward, joined a moment later by Shampoo.

A boxer rushed forward to be first. "Akane Tendo I love you!" *CRUNCH!*

Nabiki passed Ranma, then glanced back. Ranma was seemingly mesmerized by how Shampoo turned a fight with a mob into a dance. Shaking her head, she went up to her classroom.

Ranma was fascinated by the different styles of combat. Akane used some skill, but relied on her telekinetically enhanced strength more than anything else. Akane literally threw her opponents around as
a juggernaut of destruction.

Ranma turned his gaze to Shampoo. The Amazon leapt, twirled, and spun in such a way that opponents often found themselves attacking each other while their target had just vanished before them. Shampoo relied mainly on speed and skill, occasionally striking pressure points as she passed. Akane's fight was a free-for-all, Shampoo's fight was a ballet.

*CRUNCH!*

Ranma winced as the fight went from Swan Lake to The Nutcracker. "That's gotta hurt."

Akane finally stood atop a mound of apparently broken and bleeding bodies. Shampoo made a graceful landing after having done a flying suplex on one of her opponents, apparently deciding that if it was worth doing, it was worth doing gracefully.

"Showoff," muttered Akane to Shampoo as she approached her adopted sister. "Just have to show off in front of your iinazuke, don't you?"

"Like Akane not more violent than ever," said Shampoo in the same quiet tone. "Not that Akane would show ai ren how good a fighter she is."

Ranma clapped and walked over to Shampoo, clearly impressed. "That was great, I don't think I've ever seen that Amazon Nerve Pinch performed through plastic shoulder pads before."

Shampoo blushed and looked down. "Aiyaaaaa."

"Oh please," Akane managed to look nauseated. "Be still my stomach."

A single red rose slapped through the air, to be stopped as if it hit an invisible wall three feet from Akane. The rose then smouldered briefly before burning with a great amount of foul smoke.

Kuno stepped out from the trees and stopped in the middle of a pose. "How earthlier happy is the rose distilled, than the rose which on the virgin thorn, which grows, withers, and dies in single blessedness. Hey, you two! Excuse me!"

Shampoo was blushing and glancing over at Ranma, who was complimenting her on her obvious expertise on shiatsu spots and superior agility when in the mob battle. Akane was glowing blue, clenching her teeth, and trying to ignore what was going on
behind her.

"No, really," Ranma was saying. "I've met Valkyries that fight with less precision and, well, STYLE! You're really really good."

"Aiyaaa. Ranma just saying that, you no serious." Shampoo was turning quite red now and couldn't seem to meet Ranma's eyes.

"No, I'm quite serious. Sometime can you show me that move where you..."

"EXCUSE. ME." Kuno twitched. How dare they ignore him. "How dare you ignore the great Tatewaki Kuno, the rising star of Furinkan's kendo club, the Blue Thunder of Nerima?" Lightning cracked as Kuno
raised his bokken over his head.

"Ranma, you really think so?"

"Sure! I think you've got enormous talent there Shampoo. I've had to learn some martial arts 'cause it focusses the mind and body, but you're much better at it than I am. (Course if we were to have a magical battle, you'd be toast.)"

"RANMAAAAA! We're going to be late!" Akane grabbed Ranma's pigtail and started towards the door.

Kuno raced ahead of Akane to block the main doors to the high school. "EXCUSE ME!"

"Oh, Kuno, when did you get here?" Akane looked puzzled. Kuno slumped a little bit. They hadn't been faking, he hadn't even managed to be a successful annoyance so far. This could not be withstood.

"You there," Kuno pointed at the boy being dragged into the school by Akane. "Aren't you being a little forward with Akane Tendo?"

"What would you suggest I do?" Ranma asked the kendoist with an upraised eyebrow. "And how does being dragged into a building constitute being 'forward'?"

"Kuno not worry. Akane no interested in Ranma, Ranma is Shampoo's fiance! Akane lesbian anyway."

"WHAT?!?" Kuno and a few dozen students all exclaimed at the same time. "F-f-fiance?"

Akane whirled and glared at her sister. "HEY! He's my iinazuke TOO, you haven't won yet!"

"F-f-fiance? I-i-iinazuke?" Kuno stared at the boy in confusion. How could this Ranma have come out of nowhere and done what he, the great Tatewaki Kuno, had been trying to do for months now? "Foul sorcerer! How dare you use your magic to beguile the fair Akane Tendo and the tigress Shampoo Tendo?"

"Mind control spells? Give me a break, moron," Ranma waved it off. "Everybody knows that mind control spells can be blocked and detected way too damn easily. The really powerful ones just go wrong too much of the time to be useful anyway. The only spell that I've got
that even comes close is 'Mostly Harmless' and you'd know if someone got tagged with that one."

Kuno moved to attack, "you admit you are a foul sorcerer! DIE THEN!"

Ranma formed the pattern of Air woven with Spirit. "This is 'Mostly Harmless' for your future reference."

"No!" Akane launched herself. "Kuno is here to fight me, so DON'T get involved, BAKA!"

"Uh oh." Ranma watched as his spell slammed into the wrong target. He formed another pattern, this one of Spirit and Earth, sending a "Healing Sleep" spell into Kuno.

"Aiya. What wrong with Akane?"

Akane was sitting on her knees, a childish smile on her face, and looking at something that only she could see. "Pretty. So pretty. Look at all the colors." Her voice had a sing-song childish tone to it.

"She got in the way of the 'Mostly Harmless' spell. It triggers a massive charge of endorphins, stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain, as well as some other minor effects."

"oooooh. wow." Akane was now laying down and staring at the sky. "I feel good, da da da da da duh da. You knew that I would now. da da da daa dee dah dah..."

"So how long this last?" Shampoo thought it was kind of amusing. It was rare to see Akane smile, much less so unreservedly.

"Weeeeeeeeeee." Akane said before starting to giggle. "Sooooo beautiful. I feeeeel nice, like sugar and spice now! Da da da da da da duh. So good, so good, I gotta sing now..."

"Depends. I used a short duration, so it should be about five minutes."

"Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coco-nuts!"

"Class start in one minute."

"Hear the river tell the lark goodbye..."

"You honestly think she'll be able to attend class with her pleasure centers stimulated like that?"

Both looked at Akane who was now rolling back and forth singing "How does he love me? I wanna know. How can I tell if he loves me so?"

"Can do sleep spell again?"

"Yeah."

"It better if she asleep than awake like this."

"Agreed." Ranma concentrated, forming the weave and hitting Akane with it. "Minimum duration, she'll be out for at least another five minutes."

Shampoo looked up at the crowd who were still watching the whole thing. "Is okay?"

"Aw damn. I wanted to hear her sing some more." There were a half dozen complaints but more people were curious than anything else. At least five planned to do something that would get this "Ranma" to cast 'Mostly Harmless' on them later.

Ranma and Shampoo carried Akane to class. Nabiki noticed they'd forgotten something, but there wasn't time for her to do something about it anyway. Class was starting.

It started to rain. In all the excitement everyone had forgotten about Kuno, who proceeded to become very thoroughly wet.

---------

Ranma shifted with his buckets, looking at the still sleeping form of Akane, then over to Shampoo who had a rather resigned look on her face.

"So this Kuno guy made a speech and now he's promised to beat the snot out of anyone who tries to date either of you without defeating you in combat first. Is he an Amazon or something? That sounds almost like their 'dating by combat' rules."

"Ranma know Amazon Law?"

"Well sure, I got to read a lot of stuff when I was younger, learned speed reading and mnemonic stuff that helps when you're reading spells and the like. One of 'em was a book on the Chinese Amazons."

"Ah. Not know where Kuno get crazy idea. Think he just bully and he wanted excuse." Shampoo glanced down. "Akane sleeping very peaceful."

"That's a side effect of that spell. It combines the effects of a sleeping spell with a healing trance. Heals the body and mind, which is why I've kept that one. I've forgotten the pattern for the basic sleep spell, since this one is so useful."

Shampoo thought for a moment. "So Ranma want to spar later? I use special techniques, you use magic?"

"Come on, Shampoo, you're too obvious." Ranma smiled at her. She _was_ cute and her grin was infectious. "You want me to defeat you in combat."

Shampoo continued her grin and shrugged. Her smile turned to a wince as she looked past Ranma.

Ranma jumped up as Kuno came running in.

"Evil Sorcerer, release your hold on the two Tendo girls and release them also from your engagement!"

Ranma looked over Kuno like he was inspecting a bug. "Who're you calling a sorcerer? Like you're an expert in the Arts Magical?"

"Silence, wretch!" Kuno swung his bokken and almost connected with Ranma.

"That's it!" Ranma grabbed the bokken. "LIGHTNING GRIP." Ribbons of lightning formed from the Air/Fire pattern that Ranma formed. Snaking through Tatewaki Kuno, the overall effect was similar to being hit with a taser several times.

Still asleep, Akane started to sing "Lightning is striking me again, and again, and again."

Kuno, his clothes smouldering, slumped to the floor.

Ranma looked down at Kuno who was thoroughly out of it at this time. "What a jerk."

"Is it true? Are you really engaged?" The windows had opened behind Ranma and Shampoo and a large number of classmates were excited about the prospect. A fair number of the guys seemed to be either annoyed (he's taken Shampoo and/or Akane off the available list!) or relieved (finally I can go after someone a little more sane.) The women largely seemed enthusiastic about the whole thing. An idea of widespread popularity (that even had the teacher smiling) was the concept that the morning battles were now a thing of the past.

Akane chose at that moment to start snoring.

--------

"Yup, our families decided on this thing." Nabiki informed her little crowd.

"He is SO cute." One of the girls sighed dreamily. "I wish he was MY fiancee."

"He's some kind of wizard? I thought those weren't for real."

"Hey, if they have youma in Juuban, why can't we have a mighty sorcerer?"

"You suppose he knows Gandalf? Or Merlin?"

"Do you suppose he could put a curse on my ex-boyfriend?"

"Hmmmm." Nabiki thought about this. Money wasn't in short supply, her investments were coming along quite well, but a little extra never hurt. "I'll check into this and get back to you."

--------

Cologne smiled as she watched the scrying pool. Things were going well between Shampoo and Ranma. This was just as she had planned.

-------

Ice continued to crack and split as a glacier in the Antarctic found something within was forcing its way out. The Great Dragon watched the scene in Nerima as well, so far it had all gone as foreseen.

==============================

Hopefully i'll be able to find copies of Neutral Ground and Dragon's Destiny and get them up sometime soon.

ja ne,
gregg