The Art____Chapter 8 (is too damn many)

by GreggSharp Metroanime@mindspring.com

Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, AMG created by Kosuke Fujishima, Gold Digger owned/created by Fred Perry.

in some ways this story was a rough draft precursor of what became "A Different Art", the entire mage-Ranma concept being more polished and central in that story.

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The dragon moved through the cold sluggish waters with nearly infinite patience. It was on its way, and it was in no hurry.

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Genma moved a tile. "You think he'll make his choice finally?"

Soun moved another tile. "Tomorrow's the deadline."

"Which one do you think he'll choose?" Genma considered using Hide on one of his shogi tiles, but decided against it. Normal cheating was sufficient. Palming one of his tiles, he waited for the chance to place it in a more advantageous position.

"Shampoo is the more logical choice. Then I can marry Nabiki off to that Kuno fellow, he's got money so she'll like that. Kasumi can be married off to that nice English teacher. Akane, well she hates boys and I think that Art teacher is a good match for her."

"Isn't the English teacher some gaijin? Art teacher? You mean Miss Harenchi?"

"Yes. and that's the one."

"Uhm...unusual choices."

"Well, Saotome, I had no idea how rewarding matchmaking is. Now that I know..."

Genma stared at his friend. If this was an attempt to distract him so that the pieces could be moved around again, it wouldn't work. Two, in fact, could play that game. "So true, Tendo. Maybe I should dabble myself. You don't have someone that you're pursuing, do you?"

"Hah, good try, Saotome." Soun moved a piece. "After all my daughters have been married off, then it might be something to consider."

"Hmmm. You may have a point there." Genma smirked, his position was good.

"By the way, Saotome, since tomorrow is such a big day, I've invited your wife over to witness the joining of our two families."

"Gurk!" Genma fell over, not noticing the flurry of movement from the board. "Soun, old buddy, please tell me you're kidding."

Soun Tendo looked at his friend, genuinely puzzled. "Why, old friend? Aren't you anxious to get back together with your wife?"

"Soun, she's a VALKYRIE!"

"Yes, your point?" Soun Tendo was disappointed. Genma wasn't even looking at the board to see how badly his position had changed.

"When I took Ranma away on this training journey, I promised he would return a hero worthy of her heritage."

"Well, he's very heroic. Consider what happened with that Azusa Shiratori woman."

FLASHBACK:

The Golden Pair, Azusa Shiratori and Mikado Sanzennin, having captured "Peku-peku" (Ukyou's cursed form having been renamed as "Marie" by Azusa) racing up to "skate to the death" against the team of Shampoo and Ranma. Only to see Shampoo's skates come apart during a triple axle lux. Then the team of Ryouga and Ranma-chan go into the battle, up until Ryouga lost his
temper completely and transformed into Porkchop in front of the entire audience. (Most of whom still thought it was a cheesy special effect.) However, large pigs are very poor figure skaters.

Ranma-chan defeating the two skaters, only to have Kasumi walk out onto the ice, face the Golden Pair and go Triclops. At that point Ranma had proven himself the adaptive mage he was and begun copying down the details on the "Phoenix Wing" and "Demon Brand" spells when Kasumi started obligingly throwing said spells on Mikado (this occurred right after said skater tried to
add the Triclops' lips to his list of conquests.)

-end flashback-

"He WAS kind of heroic there for awhile."

"And who can doubt the courage of any guy who gets in front of a large crowd wearing a pink leotard?"

"I don't think we want to mention the 'rhythmic gymnastics match' in any detail to Nadoka. Remember, Valkyries are the 'Choosers of the Slain.' They don't have much of a sense of humor."

"Perhaps you SHOULD worry then, Saotome."

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Hours later, Nabiki would scan through her tape recording of the conversation, pause, playback at normal speed one part of the conversation, then become very quietly ill. "Kuno? I don't deserve someone with a brain in their head? Vengeance will be mine, father."

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Shampoo crept through her own house. Despite that it was her own house and she had every right to be there, sneaking just felt right when engaged in this particular activity.

There was a bad moment when she passed Ukyou who was doing the same thing. Shampoo made a mental note that Kasumi needed to tighten the reins on her wu.

Finally Shampoo made it. "Heh heh, Ranma take a bath after homework, he get Shampoo in water." Hiding, she smiled and prepared to wait.

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Nabiki left the recording of her father's plans so that she could make plans of her own. Noting that Shampoo had just snuck into the furo, Nabiki quietly hung an "Out Of Order" sign on it, then went to the kitchen for her own ambush.

Kasumi noted the mushroom dish that Nabiki was making and raised an eyebrow. That was odd, as she knew what supplies they had. Fresh mushrooms were not currently in stock. She heard the Triclops chuckle, though, so it must have been something that Nabiki had discussed with Kasumi's other self.

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Akane had been having a bad day. She'd had stomach cramps again, and this had put in a foul mood again. The last time this had hit, she'd nearly smashed a little feli-rodent critter (Ukyou) into a fine red paste.

Akane knew she had a temper problem. It, like her hammer, was one of the things she'd inherited from her grandfather's line. She'd also gotten stamina and strength from the same source. You take the good with the bad, as Kasumi would say.

She HAD realized this time that it was a self-inflicted injury. Never again, she vowed, would she sample her own cookies in class. The jalapenos completely destroyed the subtle nuance she'd tried for with the ginger and blackstrap molasses.

However, she had to at least make a half-hearted attempt at capturing Ranma. To concede defeat, even in such a ridiculous contest, was against her nature.

It reminded her of that silliness with the "Seven Lucky Gods Of Martial Arts." She'd been snagged by that Kirin fellow, knocked out by a pressure point strike, and had awoken aboard their airship. Naturally, being related to Thor, she'd not been overawed by such a group. She'd summoned Mjolnir III and told each and every one of those Seven (Very Unlucky) Gods exactly what she thought of being kidnapped, and of having some upstart inbred tribe of martial artists pretending at godhood. It had been just another case of someone deciding what was best for her, and that really tended to piss her off.

The kicker of that little adventure, of course, had been how much they'd had to pay Nabiki to take Akane back.

Akane tried to figure out how one was supposed to go about seducing someone anyway. An evil grin spread across her face. She'd just grab the boy, throw him over her shoulder, and kidnap him! That's what all those "bride-nabber" types tried to do with her, so THAT would be acceptable behavior, in a '90s kind of way.

Having decided on a suitable course of action, Akane decided a nap to sleep off the effects of her cooking would be in order.

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Ranma glanced around. Why did his danger sense keep going off?

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Ukyou spotted Ranma on the roof and began climbing up. Nabiki spotted her, and one "oops" later, a soaked squirrelfox managed to cuddle up to Ranma.

It was better than nothing, and maybe she could sneak into the furo later with him.

That hope was dashed when they got to the furo and saw the "Out Of Order" sign.

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Shampoo waited impatiently. Where was Ranma? She still had to pay him back for the comments about her being shy and demure.

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Nabiki snuck into Akane's room and popped a mushroom into her open sister's mouth. Akane reflexively swallowed.

Just a precaution. In case Akane overslept, of course.

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Kasumi looked at the bowls of ramen that Nabiki prepared. How nice. Each had been labelled specifically for each member of the family, which was so thoughtful of Nabiki, and showed Nabiki's tendency to organize everything.

Briefly the third eye opened. The Triclops, grinned, not nearly as pleasantly as Kasumi, and switched two labels around. The eye closed.

Kasumi, puzzled by whatever the Triclops had done, merely shrugged. Oh well, sometimes Nabiki COULD be a little overzealous in her organizational skills.

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Dinner was served. Rice, ramen, green tea, and some breadsticks that had been on special at the market.

Nabiki ate slowly, glancing from one to the other of the various guests. Shampoo looked as if she were alternately ready to yell at Ranma, then unhappy, then suspicious. Akane looked tired, as if she'd just gotten up. Genma and Soun smiled at each other. Ukyou had finally transformed back, and kept trying to let Ranma know that SHE had a valid claim in the great
fiancee competition.

Akane abruptly hiccupped and shrank. A six year old girl wearing her clothes looked at all the grownups staring at her and began to bawl.

"Akane, what happen to you? HIC!" The six year old Shampoo looked down at herself. "AIiiiiiyaaaa."

"Akane, Shampoo? What? HIC! Raaaannncchannnn." Ukyou sniffled. "Waaaaaaaaaaa."

Nabiki watched Kasumi. "Oh dear, Ranma, and here you have to make a decision tomorrow. Well, at least with this odd bug going around you've got an easier decision."

"Actually, I've already made my decision," Ranma looked around at the children who were slowly getting their emotions under control. Apparently their mental and emotional state had largely reverted too.

"Oh? And who, praytell, is the choice HIC! Arrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!"

"Nabiki, you're so cute as a little girl."

"Not fair! Not wanna be a kid!"

"Kasumi, you didn't do something with the food, did you?"

The third eye opened. "No, I just switched the labels on the bowls for Nabiki and myself. Actually, Nabiki, I'm surprised you didn't anticipate it."

"Not fair," sniffled Nabiki, almost losing control again.

"There's only one adult fiancee," noted the Triclops. "Shame about that, isn't it?"

Ranma shrugged, this was as good a time as any. Getting to one knee, he held out a ring. "Kasumi Tendo, will you marry me?"

The Triclops put the ring on with a look of triumph that abruptly turned to horror. "What? No!" The third eye vanished. "Oh my!"

"What was that," Soun Tendo asked, relatively calmly considering what had just happened.

"Oh the wedding ring has a couple of enchantments on it. Kasumi's now the dominant persona, she's the one who decides when the Triclops comes out, and for how long."

"Oh, well, in that case," Soun began dancing around the room with his friend Genma. The children cried. Kasumi shyly took Ranma's hand and agreed.

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Ukyou, finally adult again, sat on the rooftop, trying not to think about what was going on in the room that had formerly been Kasumi's.

The wedding had proven anticlimatic. Since the other fiancees had been turned adult only after the ceremony had been completed, things had been rather calmer than they might otherwise have been.

Abruptly Ukyou's eye widened. A few moments later she slid off the roof, and barely noticed. "Oh, ah, eeep, oh." Ukyou scrambled to get inside the house and out of sight.

Being linked to Kasumi by being Kasumi's wu was turning out to have some odd side effects. She was unsure whether to call this a perk or yet another curse. She settled for calling it undignified for now.

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The dragon moved like a shadow through icy depths. All was as foreseen.

Next The Art 9/9: "What do you mean I missed the end of the world?"