Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000

In the not-too-distant future, in a generic kinda place,
Two evil folks named Jessie and James with Meowth where up to no good japes;
They snuck up on the home of Ash
Ash: "Pokemon master!"
Misty: Stage whisper "in training!!"
The Ketchum house was such a peaceful place
'Til they strapped some rockets to it, and shot it into spaaace!

(Wheeee!)

"We'll send them cheesy postings, the worst we can find." (la la la)
"They'll have to sit and watch them all, and we'll monitor
their minds." (la la la)
Keep in mind, that nobody can control where the postings begin or end
But they lost their sanity long ago, so don't worry about them, friends!

Roll call:
Ash! (All right!)
Misty! (Get real!)
Brock! (Whatever)
Pikachuuuuuuuu! (Pika!)

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, and other science facts,
(la la la)
Repeat to yourself, "It's a CARTOON-- I should really just relax
For Mystery Pokemon Theater 3000."

...o...2...3...4...5...6...PIKA

[Ash, Misty and Brock are sitting in the Ketchum residence whilst Pikachu is sitting on
Ash's shoulder.]

Ash: Oh, um hi! My mom's not in just now...

Misty: And he's too young to entertain guests by himself...

Ash: Anime fall (Face drop for those in the know...) HEY! No fair!

Brock: Yet, so true.

Ash: Ignore them, anyway what's going on?

Misty: Sighs Prehaps if you came to the script meetings, things like this wouldn't happen.

Ash: I was only three hours late today...

Brock: That's the best so far this week!

Misty: They are all here for this special introduction to MPT3K

Ash: MP3?

Brock: Ummmmmmmm I don't think so.

Ash: So what is it?

Misty: Well as far as I can figure, we sit here, team rocket turn up, pikachu zaps them we win.

Pikachu: Pika pikapi!

Ash: Sounds fair.

[Television suddenly burst into static]

Female voice: Prepare for trouble on your television

Male voice: And make it double on the reception

Jessie: To protect the world from Devastation

James: To unite all people within our nation

Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love

James: To extend our reach to the stars above

Jessie: Jessie!

James: James!

Jessie: Team rocket blasting off at the speed of light!

James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!!

Meowth: Meowth! That's right!

Ash: [Reading from a script] Oh this is so unexpected.

Misty: [Stilted] Yes, it is team rocket. Surely we are all doomed.

Brock: [Equally stilted] What are we to do?

Pikachu: [Also sounding stilted] Pi ka chu.

James: I think they are mocking us.

Jessie: Are you mocking team rocket??

Ash: No, would we ever do something like that?

James: They ARE mocking us!!

Ash: Yeah, we were. Pikachu go do your thang.

Pikachu: Pika... PIKACHU! [**Lightning surges to the television**]

James: [Laughing] Mwhahahahahahaaa hahahahaha!! Hahahhahaha! Hahahah! Ha.

Ash: That's not a good sign.

Misty: No that is a very bad sign.

Jessie: You little twerp, you just doomed yourself.

Brock: What do you mean?

James: She means that Pikachu there just provided our engines with power.

Ash: Uh-oh.

Meowth: Yeah we got bored trying to capture you twerps and until you showed up we did
pretty good as Pokemon theives.

Ash: So you are going to kill us?

Jessie: Oh no, nothing so vulgar sadly, if we kill you we can never capture your pokemon.

James: So instead we are going to shoot you into space.

Ash, Misty, Brock: WHAT?!
+Pikachu: PIKA?!

Meowth: Say byebye twerp

Ash: Byebye twerp

Jessie: Very good.

[Extreme shaking of the room and a large building rushing engine sound.]

Brock: This is very very bad!

Misty: You don't say!!

[Cut to external we see Mimie outside in the garden look around in shock as the
house lifts out of the ground and soars up into space.]

[Eventually the house enters an orbit]

Ash: This is serious.

Jessie: Hi again twerps!

Brock: Get us down from here!!

James: I think not, we shall extract our revenge upon you.

Misty: Pardon?

Jessie: We used to be the boss favourite, now he doesn't even know we exist.

James: Right, so we're going to send you cheesy stories written by folks from the internet.

Misty: [Screams loudly]

Meowth: That's right, we're going to flood you with Fanfiction!!

Ash+Misty+Brock: [Scream!]
+Pikachu: PIKA!!!

James: Now you shall see what it is like to be unloved and rejected.

Jessie: Yes you shall undergo the horror of... well just horror actually.

Meowth: Terror, can't forget the terror.

James: But whatever you do, don't touch that dial.

Ash: Hey! We can just change channels!!

Jessie: Uh-uh-uh! Where's the remote??

Ash: I don't have a remote, this telelvision is like older then me!

[Ash get's up and changes the channel mid-speech]

James: Oh, I thought he had a rem....

Television: ...pened next, but that was how we dealt with chickens back in those days.

Misty: I think I prefered Team Rocket...

Brock: I tend to agree, they are evil but in a good way at least, public service television
is bad evil.

Ash: Good evil and bad evil, well let's go for Good evil...

[Changes back to team rocket]

Television: I don't want to tell you how we...

James: ... love us again!! (Weeps openly)

Jessie: After all that hard work.

Meowth: Ruined by a simple button...

Ash: [Coughs] We came back.

James: You did? Why?!

Brock: This way at least we can claim compensation.

Jessie: Very cute, let's see how you feel next week.

Ash: Why, what happens next week.

Meowth: Oh, well as you would say (Imitates Ash BADLY) POKEMON SCIENCE THEATRE!

Ash: That doesn't even sound like me...

James: Get used to it twerp.

[Television turns off.]

Misty: Oh boy...

Brock: You can say that again.

Misty: Oh boy...

Brock: Thank you very little Misty.

Ash: How can we battle something that drills into your mind and never let's go.

Pikachu: Pika....

Misty: We are doomed.

Togepi: Togepiiii!

Ash: So so so doomed...

Brock: Fade to black already, we want to morn in private.

[Fade to black]

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"Love Theme from MWT3K" by Petrea Mitchell
(with apologies to the usual people)

Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright Best Brains, Inc.
Pokémon and it's characters are copyright Nintendo Inc.
No copyrights were intentionally infringed in the making of this MSTing.

If you'd like to MSTify some deserving piece, please join the MSTing dibs list by mailing
mneylon@engin.umich.edu with a subject of "DIBS-SUB".
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"Yeah, we were. Pikachu go do your thang."