Demons
She smiles at him, as she always did. Those kind and warm eyes would always fill him with hope and comfort. He loved her, even if they were fraternal twins and she saw it as her duty to keep him out of trouble, He loved her. But even as he relived this moment in time, the worst thing to ever happen to him, he was powerless to stop it. He could not stop what had already happened. Her round and cheery face turned towards him, her eyes were shinning and bright, and so alive. But he knew what was going to happen. He opened his mouth to warn her but as it did so many years ago nothing came out. He was paralyzed with fear of what will and has happened. All is moving slow, just as it seemed to five years ago. He wanted so much to go to her, to pull her out of the way. But his legs and feet failed him, just as he failed her. She was a bright, shinning light to all that knew her. Her fate should have been his; she was so much more deserving then he.
He knew he was powerless to save her, which was why it hurt so much. Then the bright head lights from the car speed into view. He knew what would happen. It happened years ago and many nights there after, He wanted to look away but he could not. She smiled at him as she always did, and her pretty lips opened and spoke…"Joe….." Unlike Five years ago there was no sound, no loud thump as her frail fame was hit and sent fling a short distance before sliding against the unforgiving asphalt. No not a sound but Blood, oh so much blood as it run out over ground in an ever-spreading pool. The light of his life laid there, her body broken and battered by the soulless vehicle. Her warm crimson blood running out over the ground, He was screaming and crying but not a sound was made. She was dead. Again just as it happened five years ago.
Joe opened his eyes as the dream ended. He knew it was a dream but those lingering feeling of remorse and hurt clung to the edges of his soul. He relived that moment so many time, but he stopped waking up screaming many years ago. Joe didn't tell his parent he was having that same dream. Maybe he should have and they may have gotten him help to stop his privet hell. Perhaps, that why he didn't tell, maybe he didn't want it to stop. He deserved to be tortured. Joe stopped that chain of thought, and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. It was mid-day. Perhaps Tai and the other had let he and Gomamon sleep in. They did pull a double night watch shift. Not having a comfortable night sleep Joe started to nod off again. He would not have the same dream. Once he had the dream he could go back to sleep with out having another.
"Joe ! Joe!! Wake up!!!" Matt's voice startled him out of his light sleep.
"Of course, who was I to think just because I was up all night I could get a little rest" Joe said dryly. A small sneer formed on his face as he watched Matt run up the small hill he and Gomamon were sleeping on.
"Well it's your own Fault Joe" Gomamon reminded him. "If you Hadn't offered to take Mimi's watch last night you and I would not have to stay up though her shift."
The small Digimon was right but Mimi was sleeping so peacefully Joe didn't have he heart to wake her up. "Well we have to get up now, it look like something is wrong" Joe said while putting his glasses on. As Matt ran up to him and skidded to a stop the look of alarm on his face informed Joe that something was seriously wrong. Then Matt in a panic tried to relay too much information at one time, his mouth was moving a mile a minute but Joes sense of Responsibility kicked in. If only he had been more responsible five years ago. An image of a pool of spreading blood flashed across his mind, but he manged to stop that image from distracting him. Joe griped Matt by the shoulders and told him "Calm down Matt take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong."
Taking a small breath Matt shouted, "You have to come quickly Joe Kari's Hurt and she bleeding pretty bad"
Joe and Gomamon shot each other a quick glance. Joe grabbed matt and started running towards were the other DigiDistined were. Gomamon took Joes First aid bag between his teeth and ran after them as fast as his flippers would carry him.
Joe had never been much of an athlete but his legs were in fine for this morning. His feet ran as fast as they could, jumping over and between small bushes. "Damn, Kari's Hurt? I wonder how badly? Hell, and what if I can't do any thing for her I'm no Doctor!" Joe thought. He sensed him self starting to panic but he shook those thoughts out of his mind. " I can't do any one any good if I don't keep my head." Joe reminded him self. A soft cry of Pain and agony filled the air. Joe recognized that wale of pain as Kari. Joe let his eyes and ears guide his to the source of that sound of Suffering. Joe and Matt entered the small clearing. Kari sat on a small stump nursing an injured arm. Her normally clean yellow shirt was stained and washed in her blood. The face was contorted into a winch of pain. Her eyes closed shut and red from her constant crying. Again the image of a pool of blood spreading across the ground and a small girls body laying lifeless flashed into Joes mind. Tai held Little Hikari from behind trying to give comfort to her. Joe eye then fell to the second or the young member of their group. Tk was kneeling buy Kari's side, his eyes redden, also from crying. Sora also by the screaming Child her gentle hand stroking her face offering so encouraging words to her. Tai looked up at Joe, even he looked to be on the verge of tears
"Joe! Oh thank god you're here! Kari Fall and cut her arm deeply on some jagged rocks you have to help her!! " Tai yelled in a on the verge of hysterics. Joe look at Kari again. "So much blood !" Joe muttered. Ever since that day Joe couldn't stand the sight of Blood he could even faint from it. Joe began to feel a little dizzy.
Kari looked at him her large eyes over flowing with tears. Her Trembling lip slowly mouthed the word "Joe…."
For a second another little girl face over laid his image of Kari, a little girl that was the world to him. Then the image faded like the ghost it was. Joe nerved him self, and walked over to the crying child to inspect the wound. Even on cursory examination Joe knew the cut was deep, no wonder it bled so much "If Father was here he'd know what to do and how to do it." Joe thought. But his father was not here and every one was looking to him to do something for Kari. Joe lowered him self to his knees and touched her arm. Kari screamed and pulled away from Joe's touch. He had not even touched her but she was frightened of any more pain. Joe said to a low soft tone, "Please let me see your arm Kari I'll try and be gentle I know your in pain but I need to see your arm ok?"
Kari looked at Joe and sniffed her runny nose and muttered. " Ok Joe."
Joe held her arm in his hands and inspected the wound. Joe tried not to wince but was unsuccessful. The wound was too deep to be bandaged it needed to but closed. Kari needed stitches "Damn." Joe Muttered under his breath.
Gatomon tugged on Joe's shirt. Joe looked down at the Kitty Cat Digimon " is Kari going to be ok Joe?" Gatomon asked sadly.
Joe look at her then his he felt the eye and hopes of all of his friends upon him. No he was not a Doctor but he was the closest thing that they had, and it was up to him to do something to help Kari. Joes mind raced and tried to think about what he could use as materials. "Ok everyone this is what I need." Joes eyes fell to Gomamon. "Gomamon you Mimi and Biyomon are in charge of water. I need lots of it and my water bottle back at camp. And don't forget to leave me my First Aid bag."
"Right!" Mimi, Gomamon and Biyomon said.
Joe's eye then feel to Matt. " Matt I need bandages or strips of cloth. Failing that maybe some good and strong leafs will do. Take Pantamon, Gotomon, Gaboumon, with you. they can help you find the things I need. "
"We're on it!" Matt said with out his usual grips about being told what to do.
Joe was still at a loss for what he was going to use to sew the cut up with. Then his eyes jumped the Palmon "Palmon please come here." Palmon egger to help in anyway she could run to Joe. Joe took Palmon Hand and look at her finger/vines. Palmon vines were made of fibrous like husk. "Palmon I need some of these Fibers from your vines. Would it harm you if you removed a length of it?
Palmon chuckled "No its just grow back, although it will hurt when there removed"
"Good Izzy take Please take Palmon and try and reamove about a one foot length for me." Joe said turning his attention to Sora. " Sora look in my bag, there should be a sowing kit. Bring me the smallest needle.
"Neddle???" Kari yelled very alarmed, and started to cry again.
"Joe! You upsetting Kari !!" Tai said with a hint of anger in his voice.
Joe tried to ignore Tai's misplaced anger. He was just upset and worried about his sister, Something Joe could relate too. Again the image of a red pool of blood flowing across the asphalt, But Joe paid no attention to his imagination. Joe had to get Tai out of his hair so he could get to work. "Tai I need you and Agumon To make a fire for me, and start to boil the water the other are bringing back. This is very important and I can only trust you to do it ok?"
Tai perked up, feeling no longer useless to ease his sister's pain. "Right I'm on it!"
Tk still holding Kari's hand his small fingers stroking the back of her trembling hand said
"Don't worry Kari Joe knows what he's doing. He's smart! He'll fix you right up." Tk said with a warm and cheerful smile. Privately Joe had he's Doubts.
Very quickly the other came back to with all the things he needed to sow up Kari's wound. Joe's fingers treaded the fiber like tread though his needle; he then put them in a small pot of boiling water so that they would be sterile. Joe hands started to shake as his him filled up with self-doubts "What if I mess up? Who do I think I am? I can't be trusted to do this I hurt some one I care about already, and Kari reminds me so much her." Joe tried to stop his fingers from trembling. But too many old and unwanted memories were surfacing.
"Joe?." Kari soft voice broke his descent into a pit of dark memories. Joe looked up at the little Girl her Eye still filled with Tears but also her strong sprite shown though. "I'll try and be brave for you. I know your trying to help me."
Yes she was so much like her in Joe's eyes. Kari's bravery filled Joe with a similar strength. Joe's fortified himself for what he had to do. " Now Kari " Joe Began, Calling upon the memories of his Father dealing with scared and frighten patents. "I'm going to tell you just what I'm going to do and I wont lie to you, it will be painful but I think we can get thought this together ok?"
Kari Large pretty eyes where focused on Joe although she was clearly scared she managed to say, "O…Okay Joe, I'll try and be strong"
Joe placed his hand over Kari's face and said, " Now I want you to keep your eyes closed and just pay listen to only my voice. Don't think about anything else but what I'm saying. Its mind over matter, just keep your eyes closed and listen to me talk." Joe felt her body begin to become less tense. He pored a little warm water on to her arm to clean the wound. Joe chuckled a bit and said, " You see Kari I already knew you were going to be brave. I never had to worry about you. You're so mature for a girl your age.
Kari Smile despite the dull throbbing pain in her arm. "Really Joe you think I'm brave? "
"Yes I do! I was nothing like you when I was your age. I was I was a little troublemaker.
This Time Kari Laughed out right even though Joe was putting pressure on her open wound, cleaning it with hot bandages " Your Putting me on Joe you a trouble maker? You're the most responsible guy I know!"
"Well I wasn't always responsible! But fortunate for me I had someone there to help keep me out of trouble. In fact Kari you remind me a lot of her. She was Braving, strong and pretty like you." Joe smiled.
Kari Giggled and blushed and almost didn't notice Joe picking out small bits of rock out of her Cut. "Aw Joe. She sound nice who was she your girl friend?"
Joe continued to work but fell silent. But he wanted to keep Kari's mind off of what was coming next. Joe readied the needle and tread and continued to tell Kari about that little girl. "No Kari she was not my girl friend. She was my sister, my twin sister to be precise. She was the one that was always looking out for me, and keeping me out of trouble" Joes pierced the skin under the cut right though to the other side, making his first stitch to close her deep cut. He though maybe 7 or 8 good stitches with be enough, so Joe continued his dialog with Kari. "Her name was Josephine, and she was a wonderful little girl. She always went out of her way to keep her brother out of trouble. But I never listened so I got grounded a lot by my mom and dad. Josephine never gave up on my or tell me I was stupid she just always tried to make me feel better."
Kari clinched her teeth as the needle found its way though her flesh but Joe's story helped. "Wow Joe you have a twin I only thought you had a older brother"
Joe winced a little, she used the term "Have a twin", Joe decided not to correct her But he continued, "when I was your age I broke my arm and it hurt really bad. So I can almost guess how you feel now Kari. You want to know what Josephine did to help me feel better and take my mind off the pain? She sang to me."
Kari really perked up. "Gee that wonderful Joe, I like to sing too. My mother told me she'd like to get me singing lessons"
Joe was half way though the stitching but he now had to pass the needle though the most sensitive part of her cut. Joe looked at Kari and formed a notion. "Kari my sister would sing me a song that always cheered me up. I can't sing very well and I would like to hear it sung well. If I teach you the song would you please sing it for me ?"
"Yes Joe I love to sing, what type of song is it?" Kari asked not even aware of the stitching process.
Well it's more like a prayer, a Shinto Prayer I'll teach you the words in Japanese and in English. I don't have a great Voice but I bet you'd sing it really nice." Joe took a deep breath and tried to call upon the joy he felt when his sister sang to him. He never sang that song after she died, he felt it was something that was special between them. But as he look at Kari, he knew his sister wouldn't mind if he shared their song with her. So he sang the song.
Japanese:
Ma ha shutai e tuby e tubu e
Tu shutei a no en tuby
A sai, do mi no steikun
Halish di ze e
A di shuto dia
La dia
Zhan who
English Translation:
Greenery on the earth,
The fragrance of flowers
In the sky, one who fills the sea with fish
More than anyone,
I think you are precious
With a soft light
Please fill me
A silence fell after Joe finished his song. The others where looking at him strangely. At first he couldn't understand why. But then he realized he started crying half way though the song. Perhaps this was the wrong time to relive old memories, but it seemed to keep Kari's mind off the pain.
Kari's eyes were still closed but a bright smile formed on her face. She said " Oh, Joe that was Beautiful! It a wonderful song I think I have it mostly memorized. Please help me with it."
Joe and Kari went though the song a few times. He drilled her on the proper enunciation, but he was right Kari was a natural singer with a strong and soulful voice. The little girl was so immersed in learning the song when she finished singing it by her self Joe was finish wrapping the freshly stitched arm.
Kari was amazed as she opened her eyes. "Your finished Joe? Wow! I almost didn't feel it!" Kari jumped up and wrapped her arms around Joe and hugged him.
"Easy Kari you'll rip your stitches!" Joe told her with a slight smile. For a moment if felt the same comfort his her embrace that he felt in his sisters hugs. Joe stood up and look at the small face that was smiling happily up at him. Joe's heart was filled with sadness. He missed his sister, and that hole in his heart felt even bigger now.
Sora took Joe's hand she could see the pain in his face the sadness in his eye. But she didn't know how to comfort her friend. "Joe.. I…. " Sora said but trailed off.
Joe turned to Sora, the last thing he wanted to do is go into more detail. "Sora I want you to take Kari and clean her up, but be careful of her stitches. With any luck it'll heal up and I'll take them out in about a week or so." Joe mind was till on his sister, His heart hurt now just as it did five years ago. " Now if they're no other emergences, or world dominating Evil Digimon attacks I'll go back to my nap."
Sora Nodded to Joe and lead Kari down towards a near by stream.
Mimi face showed her concern for Joe. Maybe little Kari didn't pick up on the some of the nuances of Joes story about his sister but Mimi did. Mimi took Joes hand gently in hers. " Joe please know that were here for you."
Joe took his hand away from Mimi soft touch, " I said I'm going to take a nap! Is that ok with everybody?!" Joe snapped at her. He immediately felt bad and told her " Look Mimi I'm sorry I just don't want to talk about it ok"
Mimi nodded her head sadly at Joe and let him walk off back to the small spot in a shade. She understood that sometimes a person needed to be by them self, a small tear fell from her eye.
Joe sat under the tall tree, he was not sure if he wanted to go back to sleep for fear of what would be waiting for him in that place between asleep and awake. Joe as much as he fought sleep, he was too tired to remain awake. Too physically tired from being wake most of the night, and too emotionally tied from he experience with Kari. Joe closed his eyes.
The darkness swirled around Joe. The Bright headlights of the soulless vehicle moved straight at her. Joe cried out to her, but No sound was made. The noiseless thump of her body being smashed and sent though the air. Oh god the blood, that ever spreading pool of blood. She was dead, and this was Joes Private hell. Joe fell to his knees in front of the light of his life, his twin sister's Lifeless body. He cried the only sound in his hell was his mournful wale.
"Joe why are you crying" a soft voice asked him
Joe looked up from his sister's body to see her standing next to him. the strong light of her soul haloing her Favorite white dress, She smiled at him, as she always did, Joe Embraced his sister. she was Just as she was on that day, an eight year old little girl. Weeping heavily into her shoulder Joe says, "Oh Josie I'm sorry ….it should have been me Oh god I'm sorry"
The little girl giggled "Sorry for what silly? Sorry that you're alive?" the eerily beautiful little girl smiled at him and kissed him softly on his lips they way she used to.
With tears streaming down his face Joe tells her, "Yes I should be dead not you! You should have lived, not me! You pushed me out of…." As Joe stopped, the painful memory replayed around him in the dream world. A little boy of Eight years old running out into the street with out a care, Plainly defying his Parents wishes for him to stay out of the street. The little boy picked up the ball he was chasing only to see a car baring down on him. The little boy wanted to run but his heart and feet were frozen by fear, he was going to die. Then a little girl the same age pushed him out of the way, only to be struck and killed her self.
"Oh god!" Joe cried. " It should have been me. Not you. I was the irresponsible one. An now your gone and I can never be with you again,,"
The little girl's hands cups Joes face and wiped away his tears. " But we are always together my twin, I know you love me and you know I love you." She placed her hand on his heart." This is I have been since that day, and where I will always be. I wanted you to live brother, that why I pushed you out of the way. I don't want you to suffer any more. You have wonderful friends and now you are the responsible one. They need you and you need them. Oh Joe I'm so proud of you!"
Joe look at her smiling face, he knew this was a dream but even so that smile filled him with Joy as it did when she was alive." Oh Josie I love you, I'll always love you " Joe said wrapping his arm around her, He knew she was about to leave him and wanted to hold her a little longer. His eyes never stopped their stream of tears.
The little girl stroked her hands lovingly though Joe's hair and Began to sing. Her song was sweet and Joyful as always. Joe felt himself began to return to the wakening world. She continues her song, its sweet melody filling his soul. She pressed her lips to her twins. Joe closed his eyes and said," I love you Josephine …" he said sadly, but there was also hope, and happiness in his voice.
"I love you too Joe" the soft voice trailed off
Joe woke up from the dream his eyes still wet. The dream seemed so real, he could still feel her in his arms and her voice still singing her sweet song. Joe Eye grew wide. His he was embracing someone and that same someone was still singing softly in his ear. Joe pulled back almost falling over. There was little Kari standing in front of him her eyes filled with concern and caring for him. His Mind was reeling. "Was Kari here the whole time? Was she the one I hugged and kissed?" Joe thought to him self almost in a panic.
Kair looked at Joe, her eyes seem eerily knowing " I came up here to thank you again, but you was sleep and you seemed to be having a nightmare. So I started Singing that song and….."
Joe was at a loss for words he didn't know what to say to Kari or how to explain to her. "She must have been scared out of her mind, to have some one that was asleep grab hug and kiss her. Damn" Joe swore to him self. But Joe couldn't feel too bad about the experience. His dream helped him to come to terms with his sister's death and his role in it. Kari Looked at Joe and a smile slowly formed on her face. She hugged him around the neck and told him softly in his ear.
"You sister dose love you Joe I'm glad she had a chance to tell you." Kari then kissed Joe softly on the lips as his sister use to. Kari then giggled and smiled. Joe looked at her in slight amazement. She knew, some how she had seen his entire dream. The cute little girl shifted her weight to one foot, while brushing her hair out of her large bright eyes. "Now I feel like I have two big brothers!" with that she skipped off away from the stunned Joe. Before she disappeared over the hill
She turned and smiled at him, the way she always did.
Joe smiled back and closed his eyes and slept peacefully
Author Notes: Joe's sister's song is from Macross Plus, as sung by Sharon Apple. The song/chant has such an eerie beauty to it I just wanted to use it in this story.
