Dear Diary,
You must forgive me for my terrible hand writing but it's quite late and very dark.
I am actually writing to you from under my sheets with a flashlight to guide me. It is very
late at night and I do not want to disturb Rouge across the room from me. She's really had
a rough day and she needs all the sleep she can get, but I just can't help myself but write.
I just can't sleep at all, my mind keeps racing and thinking that it is keeping me up,
even to this late hour of the night. I just need to tell someone, but who to tell? I'm afraid
for what I damage I might cause if I told someone, although I'm afraid of what damage I
might do if I fail to act at all. I just am so at a loss for direction that this diary is the only
thing that I can think of to help out with my troubles.
I didn't mean to spy on him at all, but I just sort of caught Kurt at a bad time
earlier today and I'm much too afraid of what is wrong with him. I don't know if Kurt
really believes at what Mystique was trying to lead him onto that she was his mother but it
has obviously been bothering him. I mean, sure they both have the blue color, but that
doesn't mean anything... right? One's furry and one's not, that is a huge difference.... at
least I hope so for Kurt's sake. He is so depressed and so lost in the darkness of his own
mind that I'm afraid for him.
I was just going to head on out to town by myself just for a little bit of shopping
that I needed to complete today when I accidentally bumped into Kurt who was out as
well. I had no idea that he was away from the mansion as well, but for some reason Kurt
didn't believe me. He gave me this odd glare of distrust and turned from me calling out
something about everyone having to watch him in case he changes. I have no idea what he
was talking about, no idea what was bothering him, but I didn't mean to upset him at all.
Next thing I know he took off down an ally where no one could see him, and when I
finally got around the corner all I found was the purple smoke he left behind.
I'm afraid for Kurt, this wasn't the same Kurt that I had come to know, he was
totally different in every aspect of the word. He's been very much like this since Rouge's
dreams and that battle at the construction site. I fear that he is thinking that I have been
following his every move to make sure that he doesn't side with whom he thinks is his
mother and that we (especially me) don't trust him. I know that this is a really hard time
for him, but... I just am lost. I don't want to tell the professor because what if he is
watching Kurt's moves to make sure that he is not lost to Mystique, but what if he isn't
and I am the only one who can help. I don't just want to step up and tell him that he is
being tricked into believing who his mother is.
Maybe he is right and I am wrong, but I just can't help but believe that Kurt is just
being messed with. Mystique is so sly, so pretty much the essence of evil if you could call
her that. And yet Kurt is so friendly, so kind hearted, they just can't be related at all! But I
don't know if we will ever find out. Although I still don't understand what Rouge has to
do with all this. She hasn't told me anything, even after the few moments of prodding her
brain. I have a feeling that she somehow knows something, but I just can't go around
suspecting this things. These people are my teammates and more important, my friends.
