Dear Diary,

I am at a more loss for words than ever before, and I just pray that today I have
been able to help out, but I fear that I do not know until days later. I was going off to
attend to my garden that I started to grow last week when I heard some kind of sobbing
from behind the shed I was heading towards to get the gardening equipment. I didn't mean
to startle Kurt, but he was just not who I was expecting to be behind the shed. I could tell
that he was trying to fight off all his emotions that have hit him lately and that he was in
real distress. Don't ask me what came over me, but I just instinctively grabbed hold of
Kurt's arm just before he could port away.

It was an absolutely wild ride for the split second that it lasted, but it was certainly
one that I will not soon forget. When we arrived back into the world, I think Kurt was
more surprised than me that I was still with him, holding onto his arm and teleporting
along with him. I took a quick moment to see where we were. We had been ported to the
top of a large tree that over looked the forest just outside the town. I could see almost
everything from where I was, and yet I didn't pay any attention to it what so ever. I was
just worried for Kurt, as I glanced up at him and saw the sparkle of the sun glicen in the
tears that were streaking down his cheeks, even if they mixed with the fur from his face.

Kurt looked very shocked that I had traveled with him, and that I refused to let go
of him in the case he ports away again. "Keety, vhat are you doing?"

I kept my grasp on his arm very tight and refused to let go of him. "I am not letting
you disappear again without me. I am not letting you run off. I want to get everything
straight and just wonder what's going on."

"Vhat do you mean vhat's going on? I'm fine, nozhing to vorry about."

"You can't fool me Kurt, you look terrible and there is definitely something
troubling you." I don't know what exactly came over me to speak so harshly to him, I
sounded like a mother scolding her little child for lieing.

"The professor send you?"

"No, what do you mean the professor sent me? What is bothering you Kurt?" Kurt
just shrugged and turned away like he was trying to close his eyes and *poof* I'd be gone.
"Kurt, I'm not letting you go. I want to know what's bothering you, as a friend Kurt, I'm
afraid for you."

He then turned and just looked down at me, my eyes gazing right into his, showing
the concern that I was filled with for him. He finally breathed out a sigh and gave in. "I
just don't know why I am here. Why I even have this life, where am I supposed to go with
this life. I just don't know and no one can tell me why."

"Kurt... I'm afraid that is only something that you will be able to figure out for
yourself, but I do know that you have friends like me and everyone else who are behind
you all the way. Where ever your fate takes you."

"But what about my family? what about my mother?"

"And who says anything about your mother? About Mystique?" The more and
more I despise calling that monster Kurt's mother, the more and more it starts to make
sense. I just can't help but fight that it is just a trick, but even I eventually can't fight
reality. "Why is she bothering you all so much? No one has told me anything about what
has been going on and I've been really worried. About you, Rouge, Mystique. Just what's
going on?"

He sighed again and I could see him fighting back more tears that he had conjured
up since I found him behind the shed. "I had always sort of had this feeling that she was
somehow connected to me. It's just... there is some kind of feeling. It's impossible to
explain, Rouge would probably know more about how to say this feeling in English. Plus,
she knows how I feel, she's known my thoughts, she's felt them."

"But then why did this get you down all of a sudden?" It just all didn't make sense
to me.

"I just always fought off the feeling. I just could never believe that this feeling was
anything less than my pathetic want for love. She was so different like me, but it was just
stupid. She's not German, I've never seen her before. But just when she contacted me, I
could just instantly tell that it was the truth. I know it is, I just know that this wasn't the
regular Mystique we know, this was someone different that is trapped behind her lord."

I couldn't just help feel for Kurt. He was right, we've both been fighting the truth
and there isn't anything that could be done. "Kurt... listen. I know that life hasn't thrown
you aces, but there isn't anything you can do about that. I know that there are people here
who love you like family, even if we aren't exactly blood. We are all brothers and sisters,
and we'll just have to live with it." Kurt gave me an odd glance that I've never seen in him
before. It's almost like it was a look of actually fitting in... although I can't really be sure.
His golden eyes are so hard to read. "Just know that Kurt, we are always here for you, we
are always behind you. Mystique or no, blue or no, fuzzy or no."

In a flash we had arrived back behind the shed at the manor. I still clung onto
Kurt's arm tightly, not wanting to let go, but I knew my time had come. I couldn't help
but just take one final glance at him. His tears had stopped and those in his eyes before he
had effectively fought off. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him the biggest hug I
could come up with, just to hammer the point home that we were behind him, especially
me. In flash again he was gone, off to be alone to his thoughts again, but I couldn't help
but hear his finally call of "Danke" as he disappeared and I could tell that he gave me a
smile when he left.

Well the more I think about it, the more I am sure that he smiled. Even just writing
this down in the diary I feel so much better about it. Kurt will be alright, I'm sure he will. I
know that I got through to him, and I only gave to him the truth.

Now I guess I should go ask Rouge about explaining this whole thing to me like
Kurt told me too. I don't get them. There is just something in common between them, but
I just can't put my finger on it. At least I know that Rouge isn't Kurt's mother, that's a
relief I guess you could say. As for siblings, I highly doubt it. I mean one is blue and fuzzy
like his blue mother, the other is peach and fleshy like me and I look nothing like
Mystique. But hey, you never know, something's are just how fate deals your cards. But
that is for another day. Thank you for listening.