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Chapter Four

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Sensation, not quite discernable as belonging to any particular form, whirled haphazardly through Duo's consciousness, dizzying, intoxicating—he held on, instinctively, to some /core/ at the centre of his being, vaguely aware in some distant part of himself that his body was slowly forcing itself awake.

A flash of vivid, violent blue before his face reformed, becoming a pair of intense deep eyes—Heero's eyes, he realised, fixed on his face and full of worry.

"Sally, he's awake."

He felt the slip of fingers sliding away from his own as Heero stood, his visage replaced with a woman's, blonde and sweet-faced, a white lab coat thrown over a dark green t-shirt. "Duo?" Her voice was a smokey alto, as soothing as the cool fingers she touched to his flushed forehead. "How do you feel?"

He blinked. It hurt. "I'm not sure...hot. What happened?"

Her lips tightened, the first sign of strain visible on her face. "That's what I'd like to know. Don't worry, we'll find out. In the meantime, I'm keeping you here for a while so I can keep an eye on you." She brushed a strand of flower-strewn hair behind Duo's ear with a gentle smile. "It could just be something as simple as your never having been exposed to a gift like Quatre's before, compounded by the stress of trying to get used to this place."

Duo forced a smile past the dryness of his lips. "Or I could be some kind of freak who can't listen to music, right?"

Sally looked amused. "Hardly. I can almost guarantee that no ordinary music would have had the same effect. This goes deeper, which I'm sure you already know in your head."

Duo nodded concession, letting out a long breath. "I know it, but I don't understand it."

"Quatre's a Siren," Heero said flatly. He was leaning against the wall in the corner, standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a protective expression on his face. "He senses emotions and manipulates them through sound."

Pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place in Duo's head. "So what I felt—"

"Was what he wanted you to feel," Sally confirmed. "Happy, blissfully so. Why that sparked the reaction it did—well, I told you I don't know that yet. But I'll find out."

"So instead of being a freak who can't listen to music I'm a freak who can't feel happy?" Duo clarified impishly.

"Hmph. Baka," growled Heero from his corner.

"What?" Duo asked, blinking as the room threatened to fade away again. "What's that mean?"

Heero fixed his gaze on the floor. "Nothing."

"Well it didn't sound very nice." Duo pressed his hands to the mattress of the sickroom cot, pushing himself upright. "By the way...what happened to Sylvia?"

"She started screaming when you fell down," Heero answered. "Quatre was calming her down when I left to bring you here. Since nobody's said anything about her since, I assume she's all right."

"She is," Sally confirmed, though Duo had no idea how she knew. He imagined it was just another aspect of the place and its inhabitants. "Quatre and Wufei took her back to her room."

"I finally met her," Duo said slowly, remembering the blonde waif's nonsensical words. "She kept talking about death. Dorothy said she painted me on the wall, but I hadn't even met her."

"That doesn't matter, with Sylvia," Heero said dryly, but there was an undertone of concern in his voice. "What did she tell you?"

"To find out what only dead men know," Duo answered, the words—and the soft voice—ringing in his head and sending chills down his spine. "And something about a grave, and true love showers—I think that was a song. And about violets and faithfulness."

"That's what the flowers used to mean," Sally explained, perching on the corner of the cot. "It used to be, you could have an entire conversation with someone by trading flowers with them. Violets were a sign of enduring faithfulness."

"Even after death," finished Duo, remembering the last part of Sylvia's unsettling portent. "Everything she said had death in it."

"Don't worry." Heero fixed him with a stern glare. "Everything Sylvia says is so vague it's almost impossible for anyone but Miss Noin to interpret. Don't get worked up because she babbled about death to you. It probably doesn't mean what you think."

Duo was not convinced, even when Sally voiced her agreement.

*********

"You had us all worried, you know!" Hilde said accusingly, perched atop a stool that had been set next to Duo's cot. Sally had insisted by morning that Heero get some rest, and the reluctant boy had conceded his protective vigil to Hilde. Not, Duo thought wryly, that he really needed protection from anything—and if he did, standing next to him was unlikely to accomplish it.

"Sorry," he told his section-mate with a shrug. "You know I didn't mean to."

"Yeah, I know." She pulled her knees up to her chin, nibbling pensively at her bottom lip. "Quatre feels horrible about it, and it wasn't his fault either."

Duo nodded. "Tell him I said it's okay? If you think that'll help. I mean..." he fumbled for words, and Hilde waited patiently—and uncharacteristically silent—for him to find them. "The first part was brilliant—incredible. I can't even begin to describe it. It didn't hurt or anything, honest." A pause. "Heero explained what he is to me."

A slow smile quirked Hilde's lips. "It was pretty awesome at first, wasn't it? He's just sensitive, because he's been told for so long he's dangerous."

"Dangerous? Why?" It was not the word Duo would have applied to the talent that brought such bliss, even for a short time.

"Think about it." Hilde shifted again, swinging her legs. "It's not always playing the violin, you know. You remember how it feels just to hear him /talk/? That's how he got Sylvia to go to the show. Quatre can make people do...well, anything, really. Just by asking them to and playing with their emotions a bit." When Duo nodded his understanding, she flashed him a grin. "Between his talent and Trowa's, though, their sex life has to be incredible."

Duo could /feel/ himself turning red, and the heat rising to flood his cheeks. "Hilde!"

She giggled. "Well? I'm a growing girl, it's not like I don't think about these things! Don't be so provincial!"

Duo rolled to his side and buried his face in his pillow. "Do I even want to ask what Trowa does? Or can you not tell me anyway?" he asked, his voice muffled.

He didn't have to be looking at her to tell she was grinning madly. "Oh, I'll tell you—I gave him plenty of time to show you himself, he lost his chance. He's a doppelganger."

That was not a word Duo had ever heard used in a complimentary fashion, and his eyes flew open as he peeked out over the pillow. "Say again?"

Hilde giggled. "He changes form. He can look like anybody—imitate their body, their face, their voice. Imagine the role-playing possibilities. In fact, I could be Trowa right now, and not Hilde. But I'm not."

"Trowa doesn't talk that much," Sally observed, joining them in the room after a conference with Treize and Noin.

Hilde sniffled. "So? He could be a good actor."

"We can find out," Duo suggested, a wicked gleam in his eye. "Chop your hand off, and if it grows back, I know you're Hilde."

"Not in /my/ infirmary," Sally interrupted, laughing. "But he's got you there, Hilde, we all have ways of knowing it's you."

"Hmph," Hilde pouted. It didn't last long. "So you were out talking to Mr. Treize and Miss Noin—did you learn anything? Do you know yet what's wrong with Duo?"

Sally's eyes darkened, and she shook her head. "Not exactly."

Duo sat up again. "What's 'not exactly' mean?"

"It means," Sally informed him sternly, "that while we have every reason to believe Quatre's talent merely woke something up inside you that had been dormant til then, and even an inkling of what that something is, what we /don't/ have any real theories on is why it happened, or how to keep it from happening again."

An unhappy knot formed in the bottom of Duo's stomach. "What do I do in the meantime?"

Sally smiled reassuringly. "You relax." Before he could protest in any way, though he was about to, she held up a stalling hand. "I mean it. I know this transition has been hard on you—we all know that. You've been dealing admirably with the stress, but it's more than anyone should be expected to take in and absorb in two days."

"Didn't the rest of you all have to?" Duo asked sickly.

"Hell no!" Hilde reached across the bed to squeeze his hand. "We all knew there was something weird about us long before we got here! You're the only one that's ever had everything erupt so suddenly on them, and I think you've been coping fabulously!"

"Really?"

Sally nodded. "The only other person to have everything thrust on them so quickly was Lady Une," she said sadly. "And you've seen—or at least heard—what happened to her. So rest. Relax."

Duo just nodded acquiescence.

The door swung open and a silky blonde head poked in. "Is Duo awake?" Quatre asked, sounding nervous even through the velvety caress of his melodic voice.

"I'm fine," Duo said, summoning a smile. "Come on in."

Quatre approached, hovering awkwardly at the edge of the bed. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Duo promised. "It's okay, you know. Not your fault."

"I'm sorry," Quatre said anyway. "Oh—and I brought you this." He pulled a wrinkled envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Duo. "We got mail."

"Huh?" Duo took it, flustered. "Who's sending me—" Still, he could hardly wait to rip it open. He never got mail. Of course, mail required two other things he'd never had—a permanent address, and someone who cared enough to send it.

"My sister, of course," Quatre answered with a shrug, though it was plain from the sparkle in his pale eyes he knew exactly the effect even such a small note was having on Duo. And a small note it was—written the day he'd left the hospital, apparently, guaranteeing it would arrive quickly and in time to catch him in the midst of settling in.

//How're you getting used to things? I hope it's working out for you. Keep me updated, and let me know right away if you need anything. –Iria Winner//

"She means it," Quatre added, when Duo's gaze flickered upward to rest on his face.

"Oh." Duo's fingers crinkled the paper absently. "Tell her thank you, then."

Quatre chuckled. "Tell her yourself. You can write. Let me know when you need the address."

"Um, okay," Duo agreed.

Quatre turned to leave, and paused with the door partly open. "Oh—I almost forgot. As soon as Sally says you're okay to get up and everything, Mr. Treize wants to talk to you in his office, Duo...."

The healer nodded, pressing her finger appraisingly to Duo's temple. "I think you're all right for it, Duo—Quatre, will you walk him down there just in case?" She crossed her arms over her chest as Duo crawled out of the cot. "And remember, Duo—relax."

Duo nodded obediently. "I will." Quatre rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gentle reassurance, and led him out the door.

***********

"Duo," Treize said gently, seated languid and relaxed behind his desk, "what do you know about your parents?" As poised as he was, he leaned forward ever so slightly, genuine interest alight in his eyes.

Duo stared blankly at his fingers, interlaced in his lap to keep him from fiddling too much with them. "Nothing." He shrugged. "Never even heard anybody talk who knew 'em. Sorry."

"I see." Treize nodded, and Duo was certain he caught a flicker of sadness in the man's clear blue eyes. "Then we'll move to something else. And—I'm sorry, Duo. I meant to corner you for a plain chat without all of this interfering, but it seems more important to get to the bottom of you right now than to put you at ease." He sighed. "Miss Noin explained to me what happened before you were brought here. Do you know anything about that, or do you even remember it?"

Duo shook his head, feeling hopelessly inadequate. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't even remember it happening then."

Treize graced him with a comforting smile. "It's all right, that's hardly your fault. Now—I'd like you to try something for me." Duo nodded, and he continued. "Close your eyes...and relax, nothing will harm you here, you have my word. Sink inside yourself—feel your blood pumping through your veins, feel your heartbeat, and the inner workings of your body. Tell me—can you feel the power there?"

And astoundingly—remarkable perhaps only because he'd never bothered to /look/ before—Duo could. He nodded, amasement masking his features. "I do!" he breathed—he didn't know what to do with it now he had found it, but he could feel it there, pulsing through his heart and body as surely as the more mundane elements. "It's like light," he exclaimed, the words tumbling over themselves in their haste to leave his lips. "Like it's warm, bubbling almost, moving all through me—"

He opened his eyes to see Treize watching him, a satisfied smile curving his lips. "Well done," he said, and Duo broke into a grin. At last, at last he was making some progress toward understanding what he was doing here.

"One more thing I'd like you to try, Duo," Treize said kindly. "I want you to try to harness that energy you feel, to make it answer you." He noted the boy's skeptical expression and reached across the desk to pat his arm. "I don't expect you to have control over it yet, that's why we're doing this here. Just call it. Make it answer you. Even if it does something destructive, you can't do any damage in here that I can't take care of. All right? So give it a try."

Duo nodded, a long shuddering breath steeling himself for further journeying into his deeper self. He closed his eyes—insinuated his spirit into the inner core of himself, sinking into the light he'd felt only a few minutes before.

He willed it to answer him—called to it, begged it, summoned it.

Nothing happened.

He could still feel it there, could see it almost, but he couldn't evoke a response from it, couldn't bend it to respond to his own will. His head began to throb, and a hand on his shoulder called him back to himself.

"I think perhaps," Treize said thoughtfully, "that we need something stronger. It was your fear that it answered to before, and your happiness that caused the breakdown last night. Perhaps for now, at least until you have some feel for it to practice with, that it's those strong emotions we need to use to bring it forth."

"You mean I need to be that afraid again," Duo said flatly, a knot forming in the pit of his stomach.

The fingers on his shoulder tightened. "Only for a moment. Only long enough for the power to answer to it. I've already told you, nothing here will really harm you."

"Then how am I supposed to be that afr—" Duo began, and broke off. "Never mind. Of course, I understand. But—what if I hurt someone?"

"It will be all right," Treize promised, then his fingers left Duo's shoulder as he opened the office door. "Lady," he requested calmly, "would you please retrieve Mr. Winner before he gets too involved in 'studying' with Mr. Barton?"

The lady, today without her glasses and wearing her hair loose around her shoulders, nodded. "Of course...."

The knot in Duo's belly was growing tighter by the second.