Logan felt a wave of relief when he saw his front door was unlocked

Logan felt a wave of relief when he saw his front door was unlocked. He'd already checked with Original Cindy, and even had driven out to the Space Needle to see if Max's motorcycle was there. Nothing anywhere, and nobody knew why she'd run like that. He knew he'd locked it, and Bling knew to keep it locked if he was here by himself. If it was open then that meant Max had picked it. For once, he wasn't even the slightest bit upset that she had broken in.

She was curled up on his couch; awake, but not moving or acknowledging he was there. She looked like a scared child with tearstains on her cheeks. He wheeled in front of her, and for the first time didn't think about his inabilities and how she deserved a whole man. He held out his arms to her, and she went to him, cuddling on his lap, her head on his shoulder.

He could feel the sobs shuddering through her, but she wasn't making a sound. She was clinging to him, her whole body seeming to try and make contact with part of him. Logan could feel tears in his own eyes in sympathy for her obvious pain.

"Max, I'm sorry I made you go to him," he murmured into her ear. "I'm so sorry love, I never thought it would upset you like this."

"My fault," she choked out. "I could have saved him, but I killed him instead. I killed my brother and all he needed was Tryptophan. Lydecker was already there. Ben," she sobbed. "Ben, I'm so sorry!" Now she started to cry in earnest, and Logan realized what she was saying.

She'd never told him the whole story about what happened to Ben, only that he wouldn't be killing anymore. Still, what the hell did that have to do with anything Normal would have told her? Well, that would all have to wait for later. For now, all he could do was hold her, and stroke her hair, and whisper to her that it was okay, that she couldn't have known.

After a while, Max's tears finally slowed. How could she have known? It wouldn't have mattered anyways. Ben was down, and Lydecker was there, and there was no way to rescue him except how she did. She sat up and looked at Logan, expecting to see the horror and accusation at her admission she'd killed. But there was…compassion, and sorrow for her pain. And there was something else there…something Max couldn't quite define.

He reached up and brushed her tears away. His hand lingered on her cheek, his fingers marveling at the silk of her hair brushing them. Max's trembling hand reached up and touched the corner of his eye. There was moisture there too. She leaned closer and pressed her lips to his. He didn't try to touch her in any other way but his mouth on hers and his hand entangled in her hair. He let her lead the way, and was more than happy to blindly follow wherever she wanted to go.

When she pulled back he didn't try to stop her. If she wanted to leave, he had to let her go no matter how much he wanted to hold her and comfort her. "Ben and I got into a fight because I wouldn't let him kill the priest," she said softly. "I broke his knee and then we heard Lydecker and his men coming. Ben begged me…he didn't want to go back…he begged me, and I…I had to or he would have been taken…he begged me to do it." Her eyes filled with tears again.

Logan pulled her back to him. So that's what happened. When Bryn said she didn't want to die, they had let her go. Ben said he'd rather be dead, and she'd done as he asked. Which one was the harder choice? Logan had no idea what he would have decided. Send them to Hell, or whatever waited in the beyond?

"He asked you to," Logan said. "It was the best way, Max. He wouldn't have stopped killing, and if he'd gone back they would have hurt him like they did Zack. You did the right thing." A year ago Logan didn't know if he would've been able to say that, but now he knew what it was like to take a life. You did what you had to sometimes. It wasn't pretty, but real life rarely was. It was why he'd finally been able to shred the pictures Lydecker sent him. Manticore wasn't a summer camp. They'd been learning to kill, not how to macramé. How could he blame her for what she had done then, when she'd never been taught the difference between right and wrong? Her grief now proved she knew killing was bad now, and that was what he needed to know for sure she'd risen above Manticore.

"He could have been cured!" she said fiercely, sitting up again. "Normal said that we could get like that because we don't have enough serotonin. All he needed was a big dose of Tryptophan and he would have been fine!"

"Do you believe that?" Logan asked levelly, "or do you want to believe that?"

She didn't answer. "Max," he continued, "there's a reason why people who were abused as children abuse their kids. They can't rise above themselves and what was done to them. Just because you did, just because you want to keep the darkness behind you and not in you, it doesn't mean all of them could do it."

She put her head back on his shoulder. Damn, she was a perfect fit to his body. "I want them to," she said softly. "What if Jhondie or Tinga or Krit couldn't do it either? What about Jace and little Max out there somewhere? How do I know they could?"

He looked down at her as she looked up at him. Their eyes met and he smiled. She could feel all of the pain and confusion melt away under that brilliant smile. "That," he said firmly, "is what we have hope for." He couldn't help himself. He leaned down and kissed her again.

They snuggled together for a few minutes. Logan wasn't sure if this was Heaven or Hell to have her in his arms, but he didn't care. Letting her go was the last thing on his mind.

"Logan?" she said softly.

"Hmm?"

"What did you call me earlier when you apologized for sending me to Normal?"

Was that a trick question of some kind? "I called you Max," he said, a little confused.

He felt her stiffen. What did he say? Had he called her something else? Well, after she left yesterday, he'd said some not nice things, but even her genetically enhanced hearing couldn't have picked up on that. He thought back on everything he'd said since coming back into the apartment, and then it hit him. How the hell did he let that slip? Now she would want to know why. Could he say why? Did he even know for sure?

"I said I'm so sorry love," he quoted, knowing full well the consequences.

Her eyes, wide and brown, met his blue ones. "Why did you call me that?" she asked suspiciously.

"I…I…" he stammered. "I just did," he finished wondering if it sounded as lame as it felt. The sudden anger on Max's face said that it did. She tried to jump up, but he held on to her.

"Let me go before I kick your ass," she snapped.

The emotion broke free before Logan could stop himself. "I said it because I meant it!" he yelled into her surprised face. Sweet Jesus, did he just say that? "I mean it Max," he said again, not yelling it this time. "I don't want to pressure you, or scare you, or make you say or do anything," he muttered. "But, I love you. That's all. I love you."