Title: The X-files: Of Extraterrestrials and Men
Author: Verbie, the Zero Wing worshipper! Heehee, for great justice!!!
Disclaimer: The X-files does not belong to me. NIH!
Summary: I hope that if there is INDEED a second movie, it's not like this. @_@;;
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Chapter 2: Revelations
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SCULLY: (tears up) Please don't kill me! I have a daughter... kill HER!!
MULDER: No, kill ME... please. I'm the one with "the cure", whatever that is. Please, Scully doesn't deserve to die.
SCULLY: No, Mulder, you're part of a band. You must live and entertain millions with your sweet smile. I'll gladly sacrifice my life if it means saving yours.
MULDER: No, I'm not gonna watch you die! Conan, kill ME!
SCULLY: No, ME!
MULDER: ME!
SCULLY: MEEEEE!!!
MULDER: ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!!!!!!
CONAN: Ugh, SHUT UP! I have an idea. Why don't I kill BOTH of you?!
MULDER: No way! Don't kill Scully!
SCULLY: Don't kill Mulder!
CONAN: Too bad! (smiles in an evil manner) Say goodbye!
SCULLY: (sighs) Well, I tried.
MULDER: Goodbye, Scully.
SCULLY: Goodbye, Mulder.
CONAN: Hahaha, say your prayers!
SCULLY: ...
MULDER: ...
CONAN: This is the end for you!
SCULLY: ...
MULDER: ...
CONAN: Any last words?
MULDER&SCULLY: NO!
CONAN: Alright, then. Prepare to die.
SCULLY: (sighs)
CONAN: The end is near!
MULDER: JEBUS CHRIST!
SCULLY: JUST SHOOT US ALREADY!
CONAN: I'm working on it! Jeez!
MULDER: ...
SCULLY: ...
CONAN: Say goodbye!!
MULDER: (sighs) We just DID, Conan.
CONAN: Alrighty then.
MULDER: ...
SCULLY: ...
CONAN: (pulls the trigger)
MULDER: ...
SCULLY: ...
CONAN: ...
MULDER: ...
SCULLY: ...
CONAN: CRAP!!!!! THE GUN IS EMPTY!!!!
SCULLY: Whew!
MULDER: That was close. (punches Conan)
[Mulder and Scully walk off, unharmed. Conan whimpers.]
SCULLY: Hey Mulder, shouldn't we have taken him into custody or something? He might try to kill us again.
MULDER: Conan? HAH! He wouldn't hurt a fly.
SCULLY: (shrugs)
MULDER: Now, let's go back to the boy band studio. I'm pretty sure the rest of G-boyz-2G Boyz Men Boyz are waiting for me there.
SCULLY: Mulder...
MULDER: Please, Scully. Let me persue my dreams.
SCULLY: (sighs) Alright... but I'm not going with you. I kinda left Samantha at home all by herself.
MULDER: (nods) C-ya later, G-woman.
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Scully's Apartment
Georgetown
[There is no apartment, actually. It's been burned to a crisp.]
SCULLY: NOOOO!!!!! MY TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!! (falls to her knees and sobs) DAMN YOU CANCER MAN!!!!!!! DAMN YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Boy Band Studio
NYC, NY
[Mulder walks in. The rest of G-boyz-2g Boyz Men Boyz are in the lounge. They look angry.]
SKINNER: Where have you been, Timothy Joe?!
MULDER: Sorry, guys. Conan tried to kill Scully and I in an alleyway.
DOGGETT: Heh, don't I know about that... but whatever. Now that you're here, let's get started on recording our next hit single.
MULDER: (nods) Gotcha, Tamborine.
[They go into the recording room and start to sing.]
EVERYBODY: Ohhhhhhh, babey... we're heah to stay forevah...
DOGGETT: Heah to staaaaay.... forevah... FOREVAH... babey...
SKINNER: I'll always be by yah side... FOREVAH babey...
MULDER: Wait a sec, hold up. (takes off headphones) Cut the music.
KERSH: Whut is it, Timothy-bitch?
MULDER: Well... guys, this song isn't any different from our first single, "We're here to stay".
SKINNER: Timothy, this song IS different.
DOGGETT: Yeah. This one's "We're here to stay FOREVER". It's totally different.
KERSH: Yeah, yah heard the bitch-ass right theah. This one gots the FOREVAH on thah end.
MULDER: But "forever" doesn't make much of a difference.
SKINNER: Timothy, don't you see? That's what boy bands are all about! Producing lame-ass bubblegum pop that's all the same!
MULDER: Oh... (smiles) I think I understand now. Let's get back to that single, shall we?
DOGGETT: Let's. Oh, do let's.
[They start singing again.]
KERSH: Yeah, babey, I'm heah to stay FOREVAH babey... FOREVAH and a day, uhn, uhn, uhn!
MULDER: I'm heeeeaaahhhh tooooo staaaaayyyyy....
DOGGETT: FORREEEVVVAAAAHHHHH...
[The music is cut suddenly.]
KERSH: HEY! Whut up?
DOGGETT: What the hell?
[Scully has cut the music. She runs into the room and hugs Mulder.]
SCULLY: (sobbing) Oh, Muldeeeeeeeerrrrr.... they burned down my apartment and my tv along with it...
MULDER: Oh, Scully, that's horrible!
SCULLY: (sniffles)
MULDER: Samantha wasn't hurt, was she?
SCULLY: (sobs) Oh, Saaamaantha... them aliems took her...
MULDER: What? ALIEMS? We have to find her!
SCULLY: Can't you buy me a new TV first?
MULDER: Yeah, of course. (turns to the rest of G-boyz-2G Boyz Men Boyz) Hey, guys, let's go buy my friend here a TV, and then help her find her daughter.
SKINNER: But what about our new single?
MULDER: We can do that later!
SCULLY: So you guys are really gonna help me?
MULDER: Anything for you, sugar. Come on, boyz.
EVERYONE: G-boyz-2G Boyz Men Boyz to the rescue!!!
To be continued...
