Title: The X-files: Of Extraterrestrials and Men
Author: Verbie, the Zero Wing worshipper! Heehee, for great justice!!!
Disclaimer: The X-files does not belong to me. NIH!
Summary: I hope that if there is INDEED a second movie, it's not like this. @_@;;

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Chapter 2: Revelations
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SCULLY: (tears up) Please don't kill me! I have a daughter... kill HER!!

MULDER: No, kill ME... please. I'm the one with "the cure", whatever that is. Please, Scully doesn't deserve to die.

SCULLY: No, Mulder, you're part of a band. You must live and entertain millions with your sweet smile. I'll gladly sacrifice my life if it means saving yours.

MULDER: No, I'm not gonna watch you die! Conan, kill ME!

SCULLY: No, ME!

MULDER: ME!

SCULLY: MEEEEE!!!

MULDER: ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!!!!!!

CONAN: Ugh, SHUT UP! I have an idea. Why don't I kill BOTH of you?!

MULDER: No way! Don't kill Scully!

SCULLY: Don't kill Mulder!

CONAN: Too bad! (smiles in an evil manner) Say goodbye!

SCULLY: (sighs) Well, I tried.

MULDER: Goodbye, Scully.

SCULLY: Goodbye, Mulder.

CONAN: Hahaha, say your prayers!

SCULLY: ...

MULDER: ...

CONAN: This is the end for you!

SCULLY: ...

MULDER: ...

CONAN: Any last words?

MULDER&SCULLY: NO!

CONAN: Alright, then. Prepare to die.

SCULLY: (sighs)

CONAN: The end is near!

MULDER: JEBUS CHRIST!

SCULLY: JUST SHOOT US ALREADY!

CONAN: I'm working on it! Jeez!

MULDER: ...

SCULLY: ...

CONAN: Say goodbye!!

MULDER: (sighs) We just DID, Conan.

CONAN: Alrighty then.

MULDER: ...

SCULLY: ...

CONAN: (pulls the trigger)

MULDER: ...

SCULLY: ...

CONAN: ...

MULDER: ...

SCULLY: ...

CONAN: CRAP!!!!! THE GUN IS EMPTY!!!!

SCULLY: Whew!

MULDER: That was close. (punches Conan)

[Mulder and Scully walk off, unharmed. Conan whimpers.]

SCULLY: Hey Mulder, shouldn't we have taken him into custody or something? He might try to kill us again.

MULDER: Conan? HAH! He wouldn't hurt a fly.

SCULLY: (shrugs)

MULDER: Now, let's go back to the boy band studio. I'm pretty sure the rest of G-boyz-2G Boyz Men Boyz are waiting for me there.

SCULLY: Mulder...

MULDER: Please, Scully. Let me persue my dreams.

SCULLY: (sighs) Alright... but I'm not going with you. I kinda left Samantha at home all by herself.

MULDER: (nods) C-ya later, G-woman.

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Scully's Apartment
Georgetown

[There is no apartment, actually. It's been burned to a crisp.]

SCULLY: NOOOO!!!!! MY TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!! (falls to her knees and sobs) DAMN YOU CANCER MAN!!!!!!! DAMN YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!

---
The Boy Band Studio
NYC, NY

[Mulder walks in. The rest of G-boyz-2g Boyz Men Boyz are in the lounge. They look angry.]

SKINNER: Where have you been, Timothy Joe?!

MULDER: Sorry, guys. Conan tried to kill Scully and I in an alleyway.

DOGGETT: Heh, don't I know about that... but whatever. Now that you're here, let's get started on recording our next hit single.

MULDER: (nods) Gotcha, Tamborine.

[They go into the recording room and start to sing.]

EVERYBODY: Ohhhhhhh, babey... we're heah to stay forevah...

DOGGETT: Heah to staaaaay.... forevah... FOREVAH... babey...

SKINNER: I'll always be by yah side... FOREVAH babey...

MULDER: Wait a sec, hold up. (takes off headphones) Cut the music.

KERSH: Whut is it, Timothy-bitch?

MULDER: Well... guys, this song isn't any different from our first single, "We're here to stay".

SKINNER: Timothy, this song IS different.

DOGGETT: Yeah. This one's "We're here to stay FOREVER". It's totally different.

KERSH: Yeah, yah heard the bitch-ass right theah. This one gots the FOREVAH on thah end.

MULDER: But "forever" doesn't make much of a difference.

SKINNER: Timothy, don't you see? That's what boy bands are all about! Producing lame-ass bubblegum pop that's all the same!

MULDER: Oh... (smiles) I think I understand now. Let's get back to that single, shall we?

DOGGETT: Let's. Oh, do let's.

[They start singing again.]

KERSH: Yeah, babey, I'm heah to stay FOREVAH babey... FOREVAH and a day, uhn, uhn, uhn!

MULDER: I'm heeeeaaahhhh tooooo staaaaayyyyy....

DOGGETT: FORREEEVVVAAAAHHHHH...

[The music is cut suddenly.]

KERSH: HEY! Whut up?

DOGGETT: What the hell?

[Scully has cut the music. She runs into the room and hugs Mulder.]

SCULLY: (sobbing) Oh, Muldeeeeeeeerrrrr.... they burned down my apartment and my tv along with it...

MULDER: Oh, Scully, that's horrible!

SCULLY: (sniffles)

MULDER: Samantha wasn't hurt, was she?

SCULLY: (sobs) Oh, Saaamaantha... them aliems took her...

MULDER: What? ALIEMS? We have to find her!

SCULLY: Can't you buy me a new TV first?

MULDER: Yeah, of course. (turns to the rest of G-boyz-2G Boyz Men Boyz) Hey, guys, let's go buy my friend here a TV, and then help her find her daughter.

SKINNER: But what about our new single?

MULDER: We can do that later!

SCULLY: So you guys are really gonna help me?

MULDER: Anything for you, sugar. Come on, boyz.

EVERYONE: G-boyz-2G Boyz Men Boyz to the rescue!!!

To be continued...