res
Okay, first, this is done in HUMOR. You know, the thing that's supposed to make you go Ha Ha. The
thing you're not supposed to take seriously. *nods* Yeah, I think you've got it. So don't take this seriously
or I will be forced to sic the rabid chickens on you, and believe me, that is something you do not want
to happen. Oh, and.... no... nevermind. I don't feel like telling you :P

The Ressurection of Aeris
-by Ninn

(Note: Don't let the title fool you THIS IS NOT A RESSURECTION FIC, you'll see why later :)

It was another calm day in the sleepy town of Nibelheim. The flow of monsters from the reactor had stopped
sometime after the game had ended, and the Shinra Mansion had been converted into a lovely little bed and
breakfast that attracted many tourists, of course, the coffin was still in the basement, but it was surrounded in
glass to preserve it - much to the dismay of the inhabitant of the coffin. Since the game ended, the town had
been rebuilt and more of the houses and buildings could be entered. All in all, nothing had changed

In the backyard of the far right house, Tifa was hanging some of her laundry, the dryer was broken, and she
was ticked. Not because she was hanging her laundry, that was relaxing in a way, but because she was alone.
No one wanted to be around her. Yuffie had gone .....somewhere to continue her materia stealing carreer. Cid
went back to Rocket Town, but she wasn't sure what he was doing. Red XIII had met a nice family and was
living a cushy life as the family dog. Barret went back to Corel to try to help fix it up after the train hit it, and to
spend time with Marlene. Vincent was trapped in the glass encrusted coffin in the basement of the mansion, with
Cloud attempting to free him before the air in it ran out. And Aeris was..... well, still dead.

Tifa finished hanging her laundry and went back inside the house. The house she wanted to get out of. She hated
this town, and had been perfectly happy when it had been burned, even if she hadn't acted that way. She wanted
to go someplace else, and Costa del Sol had always tempted her. The perfect town. Warm, sunny, and right on
the ocean. Plus, she could use the villa, after all, half of the gil that had bought it had been hers. Yes, she would
not stay in this town any longer.

A few moments later, she was on a gold chocobo and heading toward the sunny beach town.

--

The Shinra Mansion, or rather, The Flowered Teacup, was busier that usual, and it was almost out of rooms. Oops,
my mistake, it WAS out of rooms, and the people were still coming. So the new owner began to put people in the
basement. That was mistake number one. She was counting on the glass encrusted coffin to be a tourist attraction.
People would gawk at it - after paying 150 gil - in addition to their room, of course. Then, when they were done gawking,
they would tell their friends. But, it just so happened that the man in the coffin had a friend that was trying to free him, and
the tourists were becoming sympathetic, and helping.

The owner became aware of this, and soon made herself known in the basement, and was met with a funny scene. The
tourists had cleared away from the coffin when the friend had brought out a giant sword and began hacking at the glass,
sending small chips flying everyway. He saw her out of the corner of his eye, and turned to face her. She stared back
at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded, placing her hands on her hips.

"Freeing my friend. And who the (*&# are you?"

"I own The Flowered Teacup. And your 'friend' is my number 1 tourist attraction."

"The Flowered Teacup?!?! ....idiot....."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," he picked up the sword and began to hack at the coffin again, doing no more damage than dislodging a few
chunks, "What is the stupid stuff anyway? It's too strong to be glass."

She shrugged, "Beats me. I found it, melted it, then dipped the coffin in it. ...Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes. Yes I do. You encased my friend in glass! But you already knew that."

"Your friend is on my property, therefore," she grinned.

"You're an idiot, " he cast a Fire 3 on the glass, and it did nothing, then he cast Comet, which took away a few chips of
glass. After the comet finished, he cast Ultima, which slightly melted the glass, smoothing away all the chips. Seeing that
that didn't work, he cast Ice3, hoping that it would freeze the glass to shattering point. It didn't.

The owner stood staring at him, "You're funny."

"You're evil."

"I'm not evil! I'm just protective of my property."

"My friend is not your property!" He contined chopping at the glass, "How the hell did you manage to melt this?"

She replied in a sweet, innocent tone, "I don't know."

"Argh! I'm leaving!" he turned and stormed out.

The owner grinned, and turned to the group of customers that was still there, "If any of you are planning on staying longer,
it'll be 200 gil."

A few grumbled, some left, and a few paid the rest.

~~

Tifa never made it to Costa del Sol. It was funny, in a sad sort of way. To put it simply, her chocobo didn't like her.
There was a simple reason for that - it wasn't her chocobo. It belonged to Cloud, and everytime she raced it, it lost.
So it began to think of her as bad luck.

To Tifa, it appeared to have gotten lost, ending up in the middle of the ocean, so she turned it around. But the chocobo
wouldn't listen, and instead flung her over it's head. Then it popped her obviously fake chest. Normally that wouldn't be
that big of a deal, but she couldn't swim, and they were her floatation devices.

The chocobo watched her sink, and made its way back to Nibelheim.

~~

When the chocobo returned to its stable, it was half supirzed to see Cloud standing there, looking more than a little ticked.

It warked, a sad little wark to show that it was sad that it hadn't been in the stable.

Then Cloud walked over to it, and climbed on its back.

"Evl_Brd, we're going to Mideel. I need to find Nanaki. He may be able to find something to do about that glass stuff,"
Red XIII preferred to be called Nanaki, and most of them called him that.

Evl_Brd warked loudly, and began to run. Moments later, they were in Mideel.

Cloud left Evl_Brd with the white chocobo, and began to look for Nanaki, who he found digging a hole in the ground,
looking quite idiotic.

"Hello Nanaki."

"Woof?" Nanaki looked up, "Oh, hello Cloud. What brings you here to Mideel?"

"Umm... Would you stop digging that hole while I explain? I feel kind of stupid this way..."

"Oh, ok," Nanaki grumbled, "Ruin my fun, why don't you."

"Whatever. Listen, I need your help, or at least access to your resources. Vincent's coffin has been encrusted in this inpenertrable
glass stuff. You're smart, you may know how to break it. So, can you help me?"

Nanaki didn't get the chance to answer, as a little kid came up to Cloud, "Hey mister, why are you talking to that dog? It won't
answer you. Don't you know that?" The kid was quite serious, his expression solomn.

"I know that, kid," Cloud didn't feel like explaining and making hiself look like a fool, because he knew all that Nanaki would
say would be woof, "I just wanted to talk to something."

"Oh," the kid nodded, "That's ok then."

Cloud and Nanaki watched the kid scamper off, both trying not to laugh.

"So, can you help me here? I don't know how long Vincent can survive without air."

Nanaki looked thoughtful, "Well, there's really no way I can get out. There's an invisible fence up, so I can't get out."

"I can take off the collar for you."

"It's rigged to set off an alarm if it's taken off, but I can at least give you the password for the hidden library at Cosmo Canyon."

"Hidden library?" Cloud looked puzzled, "I was all over the Canyon last time I was there."

"That's why it's hidden. It's under the carpet in my room. The floor will ask for a password."

"Tell me the password."

"Well... it's kind of embarassing..." Though Nanaki was already red, he turned redder.

"Embarassing? ....Nice."

"When the floor asks, say, " he whispered it in Cloud's ear. Cloud blushed.

"Kind of embarassing? I didn't know you thought that way."

Nanaki grinned, "I needed something no one would guess, and someting that's not a lie."

"Ick... Well, I won't be telling anyone, that's for sure. Um... I think I'm going to go now, before I find anything else out about
you. Have fun being a dog."

"Woof!"

Cloud shrugged and walked back to where Evl_Brd was, finding him close to the white chocobo.

"Not you too! C'mon, we're going to Cosmo Canyon."

"Wark???" But he did what he was told, and soon they were in Comso Canyon. Evl_Brd waited outside the gate, and Cloud
entered the town.

No one paid any attention to him, and he walked straight up the stairs, and up the ladder that would take him to Nanaki's room.

When he got there, sure enough, there was a carpet in the middle of the floor and he lifted it.

"What is the password?" The floor asked him.

Cloud hesatated, then attempted to say the password, but it didn't come out.

"What is the password?" The floor asked again.

Again, he couldn't say it.

"WHAT IS THE PASSWORD?!?!" The floor sounded mad.

"Fine... The password is...," and he said it.

"Password accepted," the floor said right before a hatch opened, and another ladder appeared.

Cloud climbed down, and found himself in a long low room filled with books. He groaned an began to look at the titles.
Finally, one called 'Glass that is not glass' caught his eye

Thinking it was what he needed, Cloud made his way out of the library, just in case he stumbled upon something he didn't
want to. As he left, the door shut itself, and the carpet replaced itself.

Cloud set the book on a table, and sat in a chair. Then he opened the book. It was a very short book.

****Glass that is not glass*****

There is a substance that looks like glass, but if you try to break it like
you would break normal glass, nothing happens. Magic will not break it
and it can only be melted one way, and that is by throwing it in a volcano.
But that will only work once. After that, it can only be destroyed by a Cetra's
power. Good luck finding one of those. If you can find one, s/he will know
what to do.
****The end****

Cloud finished reading the book and groaned. Aeris had been the last Cetra, and she was dead. And she wasn't coming
back, he knew that because he had tried many many times to resurrect her.

He sighed and pocketed the book, Nanaki probably wouldn't mind - and if he did, well, too bad. With the book stowed
safely in the Magic Backpack* he headed back out to Evl_Brd, and back to Mideel.

This time, Nanaki was sleeping in the sun.

Cloud nudged him with his foot, then quickly pulled it away when Nanaki began making motions and sounds that remined
Cloud of the password.

After being nudged again, Nanaki woke up, angry, "What do you want? ....I mean... Woof?"

"Nice dog act."

"Shut up. What do you want? I was trying to take a nap."
Cloud held up the book, "You wonderful library was of ever so much help," he slapped the 'dog' with the book.

Nanaki took it in his teeth and flipped it open, reading it quickly, "What's the problem? Just find a Cetra."

"Aeris is dead, remember? She was the last."

"Oh, yeah. Well, I'll try to go to the funeral. At least you don't have to buy a coffin...." Nanaki, showing that he was done
talking, rolled over and started to snore.

Cloud took the book from him and whacked him with it again, then went to retrieve Evl_Brd, after scolding him harshly for
his actions.

~~

As soon as he was back in Nibelhiem, he chained Evl_Brd in the stable, and headed back to the Shinra Mansion. He
would NOT call it The Flowered Teacup.

The owner was sitting behind the counter when he walked in.

"You're back. I'm not suprized."

Cloud said nothing, and walked over to the stairs that would take him to the basement, waving his sword in the direction
of the owner when she demanded her gil. She stayed where she was, not feeling like being decapitated at that time.

The crowd that was in the basement hadn't thinned, but they cleared a path when he entered and let him get to the coffin.

The 'glass' surrounding the coffin showed no signs that he had been trying to get into it earlier, and he tapped on it with his
sword, wondering if Vincent could hear it, and he was still alive.

"Hey, Vince, can you hear me?"

No response.

"I don't feel like playing this game again. If you're awake, answer me!"

There was a response this time, but Cloud couldn't make out the words.

"Can you say that any louder?"

The resonse was louder, but no less muffled.

"Well, I can't understand what you're saying, so just stay alive in there," he turned to the crowd that was gathered, not noticing
the familliar face he should've noticed, "I don't suppose anyone here would happen to be a Cetra?"

No one said anything.

"Yeah, I didn't think so."

And the familiar face got an idea and slipped out the back.

Moments later, Cloud decided that there was no good way to communicate with Vincent, and made his way back out, thankful
that his friend was still alive and the 'glass' hand't broiled him when it had been molten.

The owner was still behind her desk when he reappeared ad only glared at him as he walked out, her tourist atraction was still
safe.

Nw, it was night, but since that wouldn't last more than a few seconds, Cloud decided to get some sleep. Maybe he'd dream up
an idea.

He didn't, but a few seconds can last a long time if you want them to.

In another part of the town, the familiar looking man was in the dress shop, looking through the racks of dresses, but not finding
what he wanted.

"Hey owner! Do you have anything in pink?"

The owner looked up and nodded, "As a matter of fact, I do. Is this for your daughter? What's her size?"

"I don't have any kids."

"For your wife, then?"

"I'm not married."

"For a friend?" the owner was trying to cover all the fields.

"No, for me," he turned in a slow circle, "What size do you think I am?"

The owner averted his eyes and groaned, this was becoming to common an event.

"Well, my size?"

"Umm.... This should fit you," he held up a long pink dress.

The F.L.M. took it and held it up, "Can I try it on?"

The owner tossed a key and pointed to a door. Moments later, FLM emerged, "What do you think?"

"It's nice? Erm...." he stumbled over his tounge, "Could you button it some more? There's kids in this town."

FLM looked down and quietly buttoned the buttons, then threw some gil on the counter and walked out, leaving his other clothes
behind.

Now, he needed hair dye, or a wig.... but hair dye was so much better, he wouldn't have to worry about it falling off.

Sadly, there were no stores that sold hair dye or wigs in Nibelhiem, Midgar was more or less gone, and Kalm sold nothing of the
sort - Kalm being the farthest he would go. So he decided to search the houses.

In one of the smaller houses, he found a long brown wig and placed it on his head, not noticing the figure sleeping on the bed, and
went back to the Flowered Teacup, where he had a room.

And in the basement of the Flowered Teacup a little kid was sitting on the coffin.

Inside the coffin, Vincent had stopped moving. He was still alive, be he had a feeling that he wouldn't be getting out, and he didn't
think he would be able to breathe for much longer. And that was a shame, he was beginning to like being outside.

He sighed to himself, and noticed that his Limit was almost full, so he banged his head on the coffin lid, which filled the meter.

Gritting his teeth, he transformed into Chaos. But it wasn't enough to break through the glass and only caused Vincent/Chaos a
great deal of pain. Chaos ran away, leaving Vincent crying in the darkness, with even less air than he had had before.

Outside, though Vincent didn't know it, the sun had risen and the now not so familiar, yet still familiar, just in another way man
(that's a mouthful) was making his move.

~~

Cloud had once again taken Evl_Brd nd was now looking for Yuffie. She may have found some new materia that would help
him on his quest.

It took him awhile, but he found her fighting around Junon, and her materia bag looked REALLY full.

"Yuffie!" he called, startling her as she was doing her victory pose.

"What do you want?" She asked in a rather hostile voice after she saw who it was.

"I need your help."

"Oh? YOU need MY help? Whatever could I possibly do to help you?"

"Cut the sarcasm," he explained the story, "And that's why I'm here."

"That's horrible! Poor Vincent!" she paused, "Ok, what do you want?"

He took a deep breath, preparing for the worst, "Do you have any materia stronger than a volcano?"

"I do."

"Can I borrow it?"

"Okay..... If you give me all the materia you have on you!"

Cloud grinned, all he had was a 1 star fire and a level 1 All, "Sure. Give me yours first."

"I don't think so!" she placed her hands defiantly on her hips, "You won't give me yours!"

"I don't lie like you do. Remember, this is for Vincent. Remember, you can have ALL the materia I have on me."

"Gawd, you're tough. Fine," she reached in her bag and pulled out a newly discovered materia and handed it to Cloud, "It's
called Super Mega Big Boom. ....Oh, and it's mastered."

"Good, here's mine," he threw the two low level orbs at her.

She caught them and cursed, "Damn you! I thought you seemed to eager to agree. Give me back mine!"

"Nope! C'mon Evl_Brd, back to Nibelhiem!" he ran and jumped on the bird from behind, and they ran off leaving Yuffie standing
there cursing.

Once again in Nibelhiem, Cloud entered the Shinra Mansion for what he hoped would be the last time, and noticed that the owner
was not at her desk.

Not caring either way, he made his way to the basement, but stopped short of the coffin when he spotted the figure kneeling in front
of it. The figure wearing a long pink dress, and a piece of White Materia entwined in long brown hair that looked strangely fake.

Cloud shook his head, there was no possible way. No Possible Way.

"Excuse me? Could you please move, I really need to do something."

The figure, TNNSF,YSF,JIAW man didn't move, rather spoke in a high pitched voice, "You don't remember me? I thought you loved me!!!"

"You're not Aeris, and even if you were, I never loved you. I love," he leaned down and brushed a clump of hair away from the ear
and leaned down to whisper the name, then stood back up, "So, who ARE you?"

THHSF,YSF,JIAW man (whew, that's still a mouthfull), still speaking in that strangely high pitched voice stood and stepped away
from Cloud ,"You're a sicko! NASTY!"

Cloud stood defiantly, staring at the back of the other person, "I am who I am, and if that makes me a sicko, then so be it."

"....sicko....."

"Who are you, and why do you have the White Materia?"

"If I tell you who I am, I'll have to kill you."

"I'd like to see you try," Cloud reached over, "Is this a wig?" and pulled on the hair, pulling it right off the head, "Wait a minute! How?
How the (&*^ are you here? I KILLED you!"

(You do know who THHSF, YSF, JIAW man is now, right? 'Cuz I'm not telling you.)

"You didn't kill me, I was never involved in that ....incident. But I want to kill you anyway."

"Because I killed you clone? Fine, just don't do anything to the coffin."

Moments later their swords were drawn, and a furious fight was being held.

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

Both men froze in their tracks.

"There will be no fighting down here! You'll ruin my tourist attraction. Put down your swords," It was the owner, screaming her head off.

The two glanced at each other, nodded and ran their swords through her.

Cloud didn't stop, and quicky turned in mid stride to take the other man down. When the other man was down Cloud leaned down
and picked up the white materia that had been dislodged during the fight, and threw it against the wall when he realized it was fake.
Then he returned to the coffin and pounded on it.

"Vincent! I think I have a way to get you out!"

He heard some mumbling.

"Can you resist fire? It's going to get warm in there!!"

He heard some more grumbling and shrugged, then plucked the new materia from his armlet.

"SUPER MEGA BIG BOOM!!!" he shouted.

The materia immediatly glowed, and from nowhere waves, pillars, and rain of fire and lava poured onto the coffin. The materia was
so strong that even he could feel the heat. The spell lasted for minutes, and it did melt the 'glass' but the coffin met it's demise too,
becoming a charred heap.

Cloud groaned and walked over to the coffin, hoping that somehow the coffin had taken the full beating and he would find his friend
laying underneath.

Well, he did... but all that was there was the metal claw, rapidly cooling into a puddly.

"Oops....."

The rest of the Flowered Teacup hadn't fared that much better, and in the distance, the owner could be heard cursing in the distance.

And the people of Nibelhiem didn't care it was gone, in fact, they were happy about it.

~~

The next day, Cloud once again took Evl_Brd to Cosmo Canyon, to return the book.

Once again, the floor asked him for the password, but the initial shock of knowing what it was had worn off, and he said it easily.

Once the library was open, he didn't bother to go down into it, he just tossed the book down letting it stay wherever it landed.

Moments later he was out of Cosmo Canyon and on his way back to Mideel.

In Mideel, he left Evl_Brd with the white chocobo again, and threw some greens at them, then went off to look for Nanaki.

He found Nanaki in the same place, and found amusement in watching him chase his tail. Apparently he had learned that it was
dog-like behaivor.

Cloud made a coughing noise.

Nanaki jumped, buring his nose in the process, "Woof?!?!?! .........Must you always sneak up on me?"

"Sorry."

"Did you melt the glass?"

"Yeah....."

"How?"

He threw the materia to Nanaki, who caught it in his teeth and spat it on the ground, "Yuffie gave this to you. Since it worked,
where's Vincent?"

Cloud frowned and reached into the Magic Backpack, fished around for a moment, and pulled out a hunk of metal, "Right here...."

Nanaki gasped, "You're kidding?"

Cloud shook his head, and sat down in the grass. Nanaki curled up close to him, and they sat together in the grass.

*Fin*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you liked it! I like it, so you better like it too. See! I didn't lie! There was no Aeris resurrection. She's dead. DEAD! Oh, I
know what you're thinking... you want me to tell you what the password was. *Well, I can't. Why? Because I don't know it. Nanaki
never told me :( But judging from Cloud's recation, I don't think I want to know.* Oh, you also want to know who he loves? Read
into it a bit more, I'm not saying anything.

I'm going now. Bye-bye.

Oh, review this!

* Magic Backpack - the item screen. I like using different terms for it!
** translation - I was too lazy to think up a password.