Glaringly Obvious - Part 1
Glaringly Obvious
Part 1
by:  Pandora

DISCLAIMER:   Joss owns all.   I own none of the characters and make not a cent from writing this.
DISTRIBUTION:   Those who already have my permission, feel free.   Anyone else, please let me know.
RATING:   PG-13
SPOILERS:   Anything up to and including the end of Crush is fair game.
REVIEW:   Please.
SUMMARY and NOTES:   Buffy is reflecting on her feelings for Spike after she shuts the door in his face at the end of Crush.   In other words, she's thinking things over.   Everything is going on in her mind.

Glaringly Obvious
Part 1

I calmly shut the door in his face.   He looked so.. so.. so.....   I.   DON'T.   KNOW!   Why should I care  how he looked?   The creep chained me up!   He threatened  to let the Insane-o-Matic Lunacy-Machine KILL me, if I didn't admit I felt  something for him.

Well, I do  feel something, but NOT what he's looking for.   I feel disgust, I feel hatred, I feel annoyance, I feel anger, and those are just a FEW of the feelings I have for Spike.   Sheesh, I feel  every single bad feeling there is  to feel when it comes to him!   Enough said!   End.   Of.   Story!

Ha, Ha, Ha!   Can't even fool myself.   There has to be some reason I haven't staked him yet.   I've had so many chances, even before  he was Chip's Ahoy in the head.   The way things are going, you'd THINK my life was some kind of TV show.   One of those really  unbelievable ones, where an evil monster like Spike would remain on the show just because he's popular  with the fans.   Yeah, I'll just go with that.   It's as good a reason as any, and that way I won't have to think about the REAL reasons.

Boy, my head has weird  thoughts.   If people could hear them, they'd think I was as crazy as Droopy Drusilla.   Hmmm, wonder what Miss Edith and the stars are telling her after viewing Spike's performance.   It would be interesting to hear that insane conversation.   Heck, it'd almost be worth the price of admission.   No, on second thought, NOT worth it, considering I was the evening's entertainment.

Still.. even though it wasn't exactly a day in the park for me, I should  laugh about what happened, if only 'cause it caused her  pain.   Probably would laugh too, 'cept I'm sorta dealing with my own pain and confusion right now.

But ya know, the crazy bitch does  deserve MAJOR pain for everything she put Spike through.   Eeeks, I didn't just think that, did I?   God, what is wrong  with me?   What do I care if she hurt Spike?   Great, I'm even rambling in my thoughts.   I so  don't need this right now.

Geez, I need to tell someone about this, but who?   Giles is out as a talking-about-Spike buddy, 'cause he'd go ballistic if he knew what I was feeling.   It would  be kinda funny to see his face though.   I can picture it right now.   No, that's just mean.. can't go there...

What about Mom?   No.. not after the way she reacted earlier tonight.   Hmmm, didn't really expect that.   Always thought she kinda liked Spike.

Well, the same can be said for Willow.   Not that she liked him exactly, but she does usually try to understand why people feel the way they feel.   She is , after all, the one who stopped him from staking himself in Xander's basement, and  she made sure he tagged along that night so they could watch over him.   Wonder what happened tonight?   She was so.. well.. kinda.. COLD.   Strangeness in Sunnydale..   Oooh, what  a shocker!

How about Xander?   Oh yeah, that  would be funny.   Xan gave me so much grief over Angel.   He insulted him at every turn, even before  Angel lost his soul.   Xan would SO freak if I told him I had these less-than-hateful thoughts about the soulless Spike.   So, Xander's a Glaringly Obvious No-Go.

Who does that leave?   I could  talk to Dawn.   She likes Spike, but, on the downside, she doesn't really have that much experience with romantic feelings.   Ewww, did I just say romantic in connection with thinking about Spike?   I am so  wigging myself out here.   Icky!

Well, since Dawn's out, how 'bout Tara?   What would she say?   Ya know, I still  don't know her that well, even after the whole deal with her sicko father.   Well then, that only  leaves Anya.   What a choice!   She'd most likely tell me to jump his bones, that he would be very good at sex, and he would give me many  orgasms.   Trust Anya to point out the.. OBVIOUS...

And it is  rather obvious.   Why don't  I just go to his crypt and jump his bones?   That would get him out of my system, and after all, he'd have to be better than Riley in the sack.   Oooh, I wasn't supposed to think that anymore.   It's a really good thing people can't  read my mind.   If Riley knew what I thought about his performance in the bedroom.. well.. he'd have been a vampire suck-toy sooner.

Aside from the obvious great sex with Spike, there are  other advantages.   With him, I wouldn't have to worry about getting an STD or about getting pregnant.   Yes, there WOULD be many definite perks to sex with a vampire as hot as Spike, especially when the whole loss of soul thing isn't in the pic.   And he is  cute.

No, have to be honest here.   He is To-Die-For, Drop-Dead Gorgeous!   I bet he looks so scream-worthy without clothes.   I can't believe I'm actually thinking about Spike this way…   Oh, this SO isn't fair !!!!!   I have the hots for Spike, but I can't give in even once  because I'm the Slayer.   Why can't I just forget about my damn job for one lousy night and go get my kicks?   Never thought I'd think about getting my kicks and Spike in the same sentence, but I really, REALLY want to.

Damn!   What should I do?