I always wondered why my father loved me

I've Always Wondered

Please note that this is not my personal self. It's a Harry Potter character I made up (really). I don't own Harry Potter, Joanne Kathleen Rowling does. Melissa Malfoy the First is owned by herself, and I suppose I own Melissa Malfoy the Second. Oh yeah, review this or I'll be mad at you! I know it's weird, but so is the Malfoy legacy.

I always wondered why my father loved me. I know most people's fathers love them, but with my father I never understood. If I were him I'd hate me!

You'll want to know why I'd hate me, I suppose. I'm not bad, or at least, not as bad as he is anyway. He's evil. And I'm glad. I always like evilness. It's so appealing to me. But I was raised to it. My whole family was evil. Always have been. Except my mother.

Which gets back to why he should hate me. It was because my mother died because of me. Or, I guess it was really his fault if anyone's fault, and then nature's, but most of all it was her killer's. But Dad isn't one to blame himself for anything, and I don't think he's capable of disobeying the man who killed her. Which places all his blame one me.

Except that it never has been. He blames the one who's actually to blame, and that's a person I thought he'd never ever blame for anything. And it isn't him. I really can't see him ever blaming anything on himself. He even came from a fairly abusive family, (or rather, father),  and still he never ever has blamed himself. I think he was spoiled normally, but if he got a centimeter out of line he was punished really severely.  I'm surprised he hasn't already killed his father. I would love him for it. He'd be more evil (only the most evil wizards kill their parents), and I really dislike my grandfather.

Anyway, my father and mother met at Hogwarts. Most people's parents meet at Hogwarts. But my mother was a Muggleborn. Not just any Muggleborn either, she'd lived till she was 14 as a Muggle herself, never suspecting she was a witch. Until one of her classmates blew something up and she had to come to Hogwarts, because Hogwarts volunteered to take them in. And that's how they met. One day he asked her out. She said yes. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Well, they had me in their first year of marriage. They really were happy, until a few days after I was born. Then the Dark Lord found out that Dad had a child. He'd known he was married, though the fact that my mother was Muggleborn wasn't divulged. But he did find out I was a girl. And he had a problem with that. The way it was going, Dad was the heir to the Dark Lord, and when Dad died, his firstborn son was going to take over. But I turned out to be a girl, and the heir had to be firstborn, and male. Which was a problem. So, you'd think he'd kill me and tell my dad to have a flubbing son. But that's not the way the Dark Lord works. He didn't – doesn't still – understand love. But he knew it existed, and he knew my father must have loved my mother. Which he did. But he also didn't understand that you can love someone the second you see them, like parents normally love their kids. And so he thought that Dad must love my mom more than me, because he's known her for longer. So, instead of killing me, he killed her.

        Which is why, logically, my dad should think I killed my mom and therefore hate me. But my father is also logical and a bit more modern than the Dark Lord, and he knows that it was the genes he gave me that made me a girl. And it's very bad manners to kill someone's wife, anyway. The whole incident has sent my dad downwards. He was being pretty bad for a while – I knew how many women he brought home. I was smart. I still am. And finally he decided that to keep up his "Rich Dark Minion" thing, he decided he'd marry again. But he had no intention of being faithful, so he married a woman who won't be faithful either. I don't like her at all, and he was right. She's not faithful herself, and when Dad isn't – which, I'll admit, is nearly all the time – she gets insanely jealous. Dad really doesn't care at all.

Anyway, now, what am I to do, now that I can't inherit any Dark thrones, like I should? Oh, I'll finish my rather illegal  Dark Arts education. Then it's off to be some Duke of the Dark Kingdom's wife. I've seen him once or twice. He's not all that bad looking. Dark hair and eyes. Nice face. Tall. Obviously a powerful wizard. Really nice evil laugh. I suppose he's abusive – they always are, in our circles – and he'll just have to realize I'm as strong willed, powerful and evil as he is. I'm planning to marry him, take over the Dark Throne, and rule with him. I'll need a man to be Lord, I think. But I can always rule with him. And if you play your cards right, you can almost always have a pretty nice relationship, as long as you see eye-to-eye in evilness. He has to be evil, because his father's got a lot of leverage in the Dark world. Almost as much as my father. I still don't know if I'll have to go through with this, though. I think father might just name me as his heir and leave it at that. Oh well, I'll still need a man, and that Due will do nicely. Oh, I have a lesson with the Big Cheese himself now, Tom Riddle. He hates it when I call him Professor Riddle. Which is why I do.

~Melissa Malfoy the Second. (My mother was the first).