Authors Note: This
one's a little shorter, but I'm going by significant events rather than by
equal size. Please review, I LOVE FEEDBACK!!
I jump back a
little, looking at your downturned
face, but only seeing your forehead and your soft hair. You push
yourself out of my arms, and rise up and disappear up the stairs to your bedroom.
The feel of you against me remains for a moment, and I'm not sure what I really
heard. If I did hear it, then…
You lie on your
back, sprawled out on your bed and crying. Caressing your stomach, you chastise
yourself for running away. Coward. Nervously, your hands tremble as you
try to wipe away your tears, carefully listening for me. Inside, you've gone back to the day. When
you told him thhat the procedure had been unsuccessful. You cried before the
words were even out and he drew you into his arms and knew. You never told him
you tried again, and he was gone before
you knew. I knock on the door to your bedroom, forcing you to return.
"Scully?"
"Come in Mulder. I'm
sorry, I just—"
I come in, finding
you flushed, shaking, and panting slightly, sprawled out, caressing your stomach and staring at the ceiling, tears
pooling in yours eyes once more. The room is decorated in bright white and
light blue and sunshine, the air is humid and thick from your tears. Lookinng
down, I long to place my hand with yours on your stomach.
But you are
terrified. The heat of your tears burn inside as you press them back in. Why
hadn't you told him?
"Scully…"
"Well?"
"Scully, what do you
want me to be?"
Your blue eyes
flicker down from the ceiling to look
into my own, the surface still waivering withh tears. You search for him,
staring and crying. I move to comfort you, seeing it is only fear that made
you run, not anger. Kicking off my shoes, I sit down on the bed next to you,
trailing my fingers across your
flushed, damp skin, stroking away the tears.
"You know, Mulder,
we never really discussed what would happen if it worked, did we?"
Gently brushing and
smoothing your hair, I shift slightly closer to your body, which still lies
tense, shaking slightly. "No, we didn't."
"I think we should…
Becausee this changes things, doesn't it?"
Warily you watch as
my hand leaves your hair to your stomach, before placing your hand over my
hand, squeezing a little. How often have you dreamed of him doing this? "Yes, I
think it changes a lot."
"Mulder, there's
something else I need to say. Something that will be an even bigger change." Struggling a little, you sit
up, leaning shoulder to shoulder with me, turning so we're face to face, inches
apart. Your hand still holds my hand to your stomach, your touch lightly
caressing. You are silent as you slip back, remembering how often, you'd tried
to tell him. How offten you'd dreamed of it, hidden it. And as you relived the
failures, unconsciously, you spoke aloud in a trembling, ragged voice, "I love
you, Mulder."
No, you loved him. I
smile and slide my arms around you, one on your lowwer back, one around your
shoulders. "I love you, Scully. I want the baby to know me. I want to be a part
of his or her life." With a long, shuddered sighh, you fall against me, hugging
me, pulling me closer, burying your warm face in my shoulder. The soft,
delicate flesh of your ear and yor silky hair brush softly against my neck and
just under my chin. Inhaling, I smell you, freshly clean, with flowery soap and herbal shampoo and
hand-sanitizer.
Pulling back a tiny
bit, I place gentle kisses on the curve where your neck and shoulders meet,
causing you to shiver. I explore upward, tasting and memorizing. I am at the
back of your jaw, near your throat, just at the edge of your chin where the
bone juts out when we hear someone
knocking on the front door.
You pull back with a
small groan. I let you go and watch as you exit the room. Quietly I follow you
down the hall, and wait, watching from
the top of the stairs as you open the door. You've whiped away your tears, and
cleaned up a little and manage a smile as you let Assistant Director Skinner
come in.
