(see Chapter one for disclaimer)
Author's Note: Finally, you can
begin to see where I'm going… Maybe. Anyway, I'm getting near the end now, so stay tuned…
And again, I always appreciate feedback, and appreciate even more you read
my NON-X-files writing.
I See You PART VI
"I think I'm doing a very good
job impersonating you, Agent Mulder. I think it will be quite a while before
she figures it out, so I think I'll stick around a while longer."
"If you so much as--"
"I'm not going to hurt her,
Agent Mulder. Stop fussing. Remember I share your… emotions concerning you
lovely partner."
He is seething and balling his hands
into fists and clenching his jaw, leaving his eyes to harden into stony hazel.
Watching me, he tries to ignore the slight grin that has appeared upon my lips.
But instead he only stares at them, at the grin, committing the moment to
memory, using to fan his already raging fire. Expletives linger at your vocal
chords, awaiting the opportunity to air their presence.
The soft click of the door opening
and you returning breaks our gazes. My eyes flit to the door, then back to him,
only to find him gone.
You enter the room, a concerned
frown placed decidedly on your lips. You're considering what Skinner said. Very
carefully. There is undoubtedly some changes. You can see them yourself. With
discerning scrutiny, you carefully check over every feature, the curve of my
cheek, the dent in my lip, the color of my eyes, my posture as I contentedly
watch you back, knowing you will find nothing suspicious concerning my
appearance.
Nothing. You find nothing on which
to base your suspicions. All you have to go on is my attitude. My voice. My
confession.
Our confessions.
You want to believe in them so much,
but there is something not really right about it… It wasn't supposed to be like
that. You in tears and weak, no jokes or double entendres from me. In this I
have failed.
But you want to believe.
And so you come back to me, eyes
softening, melting from wintry ice to summer skies with each movement, floating
in with the strong scent of your soaps and hand crème. Gently your soft fingers
caress the skin of my face, still wondering at the texture. I see you lips
tremble a little with want, knowing they have not met mine yet, knowing that
there was only a few more feet before they would meet. The warmth shivering
extends outward, crawling along your skin, bring a rosy blush to you fair
cheeks, encouraging my hands to draw you in close. Hesitantly, you respond to
my touch, and allow me to draw you down until you are in my lap, the warmth and
roundness of your belly jutting firmly against my own stomach as our lips meet
in a gentle touch.
He is standing behind us now, hurt and
wounded, and I close my eyes, driving him away. Playfully, you nibble at my
lower lip, remember how it had tempted you for all those years, watching him
chew on it, and jut it out in one of his puppy-dog faces. You breath a tiny
sigh through your nose and relax, remaining in contact, but drawing back you
lips to look into my eyes. At this close range, I can see the darker blue
flecks that accent the lighter part of your iris, and the tiny lines in your
skin, and smell the apple-scented hand lotion so strong, and with every breath
I can feel your body press into mine.
His shadows lurks behind your head,
barely visible, but radiating its presence. Quietly he whispers, "It will
happen soon."
Sharply I inhale and you quickly
search me for the cause of the distress.
"What is it, Mulder? I didn't
hurt you, did I?"
"No, it's not that, Scully. I
just…"
"You just what?"
"I'm just glad to be
here."
Amused, you grin quietly and rise,
taking me by the hand and leading me into the kitchen. Curiously, I watch your
devious face as you root through one of the cupboards, moving around boxes and
bottles and papers. Your bare feet strain to hold you on tip toes as you try to
reach something at the very back.
"Let me, Scully. I don't think
your little legs can reach."
"I'm fine, Mulder, just sit
down."
"Come on, tell me what you're
looking for and I'll get it."
Your eyes widen a little as you
discover the object of your explorations. With a little hop you reach back into
the depths and your delicate fingers emerge holding a stethoscope.
"What's that for, Scully?"
Grinning in an uncharacteristically
mischievous grin, you swagger over to me and lean over, playfully snapping the
ear pieces into my ears. Straitening, you hold move the stethoscope under your
shirt.
"Tell me when you can hear
it."
Sliding the cool metal across your
stomach, you watch me contentedly, finding pleasure in the boyish excitement
that spreads across my features.
"There, I can hear our
baby."
My eyelids drift shut, feeling the
heat radiating from you on my face. Eye-level with your stomach, I can detect
the tiny motions of the child within and raise a hand to feel the movement,
causing your grin to widen. A hand appears next to my own and I turn to find him
there next to me.
Immediately, I glance up at you to
see if you notice the change, but you seem undisturbed by this sudden intrusion.
He whispers softly, voice slightly
raspy from emotion, trying to hold back tears.
"You were no part of this.
She'll know it soon."
Pulling back his hand, he brushes
against my shoulder slightly. Shocked, I quickly withdraw my hand and jerk towards
him, fearing that perhaps he is beginning to win. When he quickly fades, I turn
back to you, immediately regretting my quick reaction. Pain has sprung into
your eyes, tinting them green, and highlighting the flecks of darkness, and
widening your pupils. Your brows wrinkles and your eyes narrow in suspicion.
The doubt is lying there behind the hurt and behind the surprise that is
shimmering at the top.
Taking your hand in mine I whisper,
"Sorry, Scully. I thought I heard something."
Carefully I draw you into my arms
and down into my lap, cradling your soft face against my shoulder. With a
grateful sigh, you cuddle closer, clinging to my frame for strength. You want
me close, in constant contact, to keep
you grounded here, in this reality.
Even as your slim fingers curl at the back of my neck in the bottom of my hair, you fear that I will disappear,
reopening the gaping hole that is still tender and throbbing at the edge,
tissue worn thin and shredded. The rims of your eyes are pink and swollen from
battling back the tears. The fight had left your face pink and blanched, but
now it is hidden from my view and you allow yourself a single tear. Pulling
back, I look into your flushed face and wipe away the tear that still hangs
from your cheek with my thumb as I hold your face between my palms.
Suddenly, your eyes widen and you straiten up. Your eyes quiver as
they skirt to the side.
"Mulder? Who's behind me?"
The hand is gently rubbing your
back.
I continue to hold your face,
pulling back until I see him.
"Who is it?"
You wrench yourself from my hands,
rising and spinning around. You catch a glimpse of him in the corner of your
eyes but he disappears before you can identify a single feature, leaving you
reaching for the gun that isn't there.
"Someone was there, Mulder. I swear
I felt a hand between my shoulder blades, rubbing my back. Like it was comforting me. It felt so familiar."
"There was no one there Scully."
"But I…"
I get up and draw your trembling
body close, one arm encircling your waist, the other caressing your hair. You
can still feel where his hand had bbeen, tingling and alert. The fear was back.
It had dissipated momentarily at my arrival, but it was now recollecting
itself.
I knew the doubts were coming as you
pulled yourself away.
"What made you love me, Mulder?
After all my objections. After all my scientific skepticism and analysis. After
all the arguments… How…?"
"Perhaps because of all of that.
Because while you were performing your search in a different way, we were going
to the same place. Because when my decree was 'trust no one', I found myself
trusting you, in spite of your scientific perspective, and all the doubts I had
about your motives. I found myself trusting
you from the moment you came into my arms that night in Oregon and I looked
down at your little red head."
Something in you shifted the instant
I uttered the word "red". It moved the air in the entire room. Taking another
step back from me, you search my eyes for a moment, but then something behind
me catches your eyes. Your soft lips open in shock, disbelieving, your eyes
darting back and forth from the object to me.
"Who are you?"
Our two identical voices whisper:
"It's me, Mulder."
