Part III
by SwordSkill
Author's Notes: Li Mei is original (since I don't the name of Shang's mother) and so is Kuei (Shang's horse). This part is a bit mush-mush...just warning you =]. Don't forget to R/R, please!
Mulan enjoyed those countless hours with Shang telling stories, laughing at jokes, eating, and just plain keeping company. Those hours turned to days, the days turned to weeks, and the weeks into months. Shang was always a welcome visitor at the Fa household, and Mulan got to know Li Mei, Shang's mother. She was a gentle, quiet soul but with an outspoken spirit not unlike Mulan's. She and Mulan spent quite some time getting to know each other, and the two became fast friends.
You can't take both hands off the wheel and still get far.
Mulan knew that both families were matchmaking Shang and her. Well, at least she wouldn't have to go to that awful Matchmaker again, but even so, she didn't seem to feel anything but friendship toward Shang. She didn't mind the children playing at the streets calling her "the general's girl", but at night she would turn over those words and think about them.
Enjoy the ride.
You won't get lost
With your heart to guide you!
But she was still friends with Shang anyhow, if not good friends. They had a spent a lot of time together, and Mulan knew him pretty well by now. Besides, Shang probably doesn't care about me very much. Just friends. That's all.
One day though, she was proved wrong.
There wasn't anything special about that day. Shang had invited her for a horseback ride of the countryside, and she was now brushing up her black stallion K'han. They had planned to meet at her house, so there was no need to rush. Then she heard the neigh of Shang's horse and Shang's knock on the gate, which she had grown so accustomed to by now.
"Just a second!" she called out, giving K'han a final brush. "Papa, Mama, Grandma, I'm going now!"
Have fun and be careful! she thought amusingly.
"Have fun and be careful!" shouted Fa Li.
"I will!" Mulan took her horse's reins and began to lead him to the gate. "Come on, K'han."
K'han gave a friendly snuffle and obediently followed his mistress. Mulan opened the gate and beheld Shang astride his great horse, Kuei. Shang had named his horse thus, meaning Honorable, and he looked every inch like it.
"Kuei's looking snappy today," commented Mulan, jumping on K'han's back.
"I gave him a brush over," said Shang. "Well, shall we?"
They raced past the city and roared down the grassy hills and plains. The wind was at their back, the sun was shining brightly, and the sky was clear of clouds. Farmers waved at them, children laughed with them and got rides on K'han and Kuei's back, and the dogs barked at them. Mulan had a lovely time.
When the sun grew low and they were returning to the city, Shang slowed their horses to a trot.
"I had a great time," said Shang, breathing the country air. "Did you?"
"Wonderful," said Mulan, dragging her hands through trees of cherry blossoms.
Shang looked at what Mulan was doing and he said, "Remember the time when I gave you a bunch of those? About ten months ago?"
"Huh? Oh, the cherry blossoms." Mulan laughed and grabbed a few flowers. "I don't know if I should tell you this, but we had rows of cherry blossoms trees."
Shang laughed with her and said, "Yeah, I realized." He seemed to hesistate, then he said, "I'm going to miss the sight of those cherry blossoms in your garden."
Mulan heard something wrong in Shang's voice. "What is it?"
Shang stared away. "There are rumors of remaining Huns at the suburbs, just outside the countryside, and some two weeks from now me and my troops have to check it out for a few weeks."
"Oh," said Mulan vaguely, thinking what a few weeks without Shang would be. Somehow, the prospect didn't appeal to her. "But I thought we wiped them out, along with Shan Yu."
"Shan Yu had an emergency squad when he and his troops charged." Shang looked as the setting sun. "Apparently, they had been planning for months for a new attack, and some of our spies saw them plundering some small families."
"So you'll have to fight them," said Mulan, feeling uneasy.
"Yes, if it's necessary."
They rode in silence.
"Well, don't work too hard," said Mulan, not feeling very sure of what she was saying. She felt very uncomfortable, and for no thinkable reason at all, her heart was thundering against her rib cage. She decided to switch the subject.
"Your mother taught me a new technique for the silk loom," she said nervously, studying a blossom in her hand. "It came out as a really nice pattern."
"You're always doing a lot of nice patterns," said Shang softly. He stopped his horse.
"Shang?" Mulan reined K'han and said "Worried over the Huns?" although she knew better.
"Forget the Huns for a while," said Shang quietly. "In fact, forget everything just now. I want to say something that I've been longing to say for quite some time, and I want you to listen to me."
Mulan could feel it coming. Shang was about to reach for her hand, but she quickly wrenched her hand away a safe distance from him and said, "No, please Shang, don't. Don't say it. It'll ruin everything!"
"I have to." Shang gazed deep into her eyes and said, "Everything in me, every bone in my body is telling me to say it."
"Can't it wait?" implored Mulan desparately, as a last resort.
"No, it can't. I've waited for too long already."
"Shang, please."
"Mulan, I have to say it now. Please, listen to me." Shang took a deep breath. "Will...will you promise to me that you'll become my wife someday?"
Mulan was shocked. Yes, she had expected something like this, but the effect was still tremendous. She tried to say something, but all she could say was "I... I can't."
There was a horrible pause.
"Don't you care for me at all?" asked Shang in a dreadful voice.
"I do, I do, but not in the sense that you're talking about." A knot in Mulan's stomach tightened. "I care for you very much, Shang, as a friend. But I'm afraid I don't love you."
"I see."
Mulan shuddered at the unpleasantness of the whole business. She never thought a proposal could get as unromantic as this one. It was terrible!
"And there's no hope that you will?" asked Shang in a low voice.
"No...no. I don't think so."
Shang acknowledged this in silence. Mulan took this chance to look at Shang. He sat stiff and ramrod straight, his face pale, but his jaw set firmly and his eyes focused.
"But Shang," said Mulan hopefully, "we can still be friends, right?"
Shang smiled sarcastically. "Friendship? After all I've ever felt for you, friendship can and will never satisfy me. I want your love and you say I can never have it."
"I'm sorry, Shang. Please forgive me." There was nothing else to say. Besides, if there was anything to say, Mulan couldn't very well have because of the enormous lump in her throat.
"Nothing to be sorry about," said Shang stiffly, disappointment glistening in his eyes. He steered his eyes from Mulan and set them straight on the road. "I've just fooled myself, that's all, into actually thinking that you would care." He was back to his military self, cold and calm. It was as if Ping was again his recruit, and he was her captain.
"Shang..."
"It's getting late. We'd better go," said Shang curtly. He kicked Kuei's flanks and sped off, not waiting for Mulan.
