TITLE: No Matter What 8/10
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Now that Buffy & Angel are gonna work it out, what happens next??
SPOILER: Pangs, IWRY - Doomed and Hush both took place before Christmas and the New Year and all. You'll see my explanation below.
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
RATING: TV-14 - for now
DISCLAIMER: Characters you know belong to Poophead Joss. I didn't come up with that name for him, but it's *so* true. Characters you do *not* know are mine. And no, I'm not giving you any names. You've gotta read the fic. =) The song, 'No Matter What' is what the title is derived from and it's by Boyzone.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is for Ashley - thanks for the kickass challenge idea! And thank you again for sending me the story I was missing. You're the best.
AUTHOR'S NOTES2: Okie, these are the ones that explain the timeline, so you may want to read it to understand. Buffy visited Angel in Los Angeles on November 23rd. Something Blue, Hush and Doomed make up the weeks 'till Christmas, and Buffy *NEVER* kissed Riley. He asked her out but she didn't accept. And now we're at December seventeenth, when all the students are packing up to go home for the holidays.
03/16/00



//No matter who they follow

No matter where they lead

No matter how they judge us

I'll be everyone you need\\


Angel took Buffy home to Sunnydale for Christmas and New Year's. They talked to everybody about their decision to live in LA for awhile and see how things went, and they were all surprisingly supportive, Xander and Giles included. Angel went back on the 2nd, saying he had a job to take care of, and Buffy stayed on to go to a spa with the girls for a day in the middle of the week. Willow said she'd drive Buffy back the day after and it worked out perfectly for Angel. When Buffy returned, he had already purchased the apartment above the agency, decorated it and started the nursery for the baby.

On Buffy's birthday, Angel gave her a new Claddagh ring to wear all the time. Though both of them knew the symbolism behind it, they never mentioned marriage once.

On Valentine's Day, Angel presented Buffy with the keys to her own car and decided he was going to help her get her license. She did get it, and she drove them back to Sunnydale later in the year so they could spend spring break with the gang.

In early April, Angel took Buffy to have an ultrasound, and they found out they were having a girl.

"I wanna name her Buffy," he said immediately.

"Buffy? Honey, that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard, but no way am I torturing a child with the name Buffy O'Connelly."

"*Your* name is Buffy O'Connelly," Angel pointed out.

"What about Adella?" Buffy asked.

Angel made a face. "What about Ilana?" he suggested. "Or Lynn? That was my mother's name."

"I like Lynn, but don't you think it might be good for a middle name?"

The technician left them alone and Angel said, "Buffy Lynn works."

"Don't even go there. What about Amanda Lynn?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Snob name."

"You have been reading that book of baby names and meanings that Cordelia got us."

"Yeah, and you'll notice she highlighted her own name so many times, it bled through four more pages to Danielle and Deanna."

"Danielle Lynn is nice." Buffy said. "But, no, I knew a girl in school named Danielle. I hated her."

Angel laughed, then Buffy put her hand on his arm. "What about Ashley?"

"Ashley Lynn O'Connelly," he smiled. "I like it."

"I love it." she ran a hand over her growing belly. "Hi, Ashley. Mommy and Daddy can't wait to meet you."

"So, everything looks good on the ultrasound," Dr. Schultz said as she came in. "Did you guys decide in a name yet?"

"Ashley Lynn," they said in unison.

"Beautiful," she smiled. "I have a niece named Ashley. Her parents chose it after a character in a novel my sister was reading the day her water broke."

"It was my older sister's name," Buffy said. Angel's face changed considerably though Buffy didn't notice it.

"Well, everything's okay. See you in a month." the doctor smiled. "You can pick up the pictures of the baby and the video at the desk."

"Thank you, doctor." Angel said.

"Let's go," Buffy said. "I'm dying for some Thai food. And I wanna drive."

He just stared at her. "Your older sister?"

"I knew you were gonna question that," she reached for his hands and kissed them, taking strength from that. "I'd been wanting to call her Ashley all along but I just didn't know if I could handle it. I want to though."

"Your older sister?" Angel asked again.

"I never met her. She died before I was born."

"Buffy, I am so sorry," Angel said honestly.

"Thanks."

"Tell me about her," he sat down beside her. "I can't believe you've never said anything before."

"It never came up," she admitted. "She was two years older than me, and I never met her. She died the day after her first birthday from heart failure. She was born early, and though my parents never admitted it, I've always thought it had a lot to do with the fact that both my parents smoked a lot in those days. They were heading towards divorce court when I came along, and I guess that's why sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I had never been born."

"Oh, baby," Angel wrapped his arms around her and let her cry on his chest for a moment.

"I'm sorry," she pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I've never told anyone about her before. I guess it's just awakened a lot of old emotions for me. Come on, let's go."

They picked up their things at the desk and left with Buffy driving as she'd requested. She got in line for drive through at the Thai place and turned to Angel. "Tell me about your siblings."

"I had three brothers and a sister. Jonathon, Joseph, Mary and David. I was the baby, and I almost died when I was born, which is why my mother named me what she did. Jonathon became a priest, Joseph was a cook, Mary had three children if I remember correctly and David was gonna be a doctor. My father wanted me to work with him doing bookkeeping for the local merchants and such, but I wanted no part of it. I didn't want to do much of anything."

"Were you all close?" she asked. "When you were little, I mean."

"Not really," Buffy drove up a bit, only two cars in front of her now. "They were always being the good children and I was always getting whipped."

"I can't say that's a habit you left behind in your human life," Buffy giggled.

"Very funny," he snorted, which made Buffy laugh louder.

"You're very strange, Buffy Summers."

"You're very sexy, Angel O'Connelly."

Angel leaned over to kiss Buffy and she pulled herself into his lap. They didn't notice when the cars behind them honked so they could move up to the window and place their orders. A cop had to come and rap on the window.


*****


"Angel," Buffy said as they walked across the beach late one night in July. "Do you think the baby will like LA?"

"I'm sure she will," he kissed her head. "And if she doesn't, we'll move."

Buffy laughed. "It's just that easy, huh?"

"We'll make it easy."

They walked for a few more minutes and then Buffy stopped, holding her stomach.

"What?" Angel asked. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she said a moment later. "But my water just broke."

"But you're not due for three more weeks!"

"The baby doesn't know that!" she shouted. "Come on."

They walked back up the beach to their car and then Angel sped to the hospital, breaking speed limits and running red lights. Miraculously, they never got pulled over.

Angel carried Buffy into the ER, frantic, but she was completely relaxed. She was still carrying the emergency bag she'd packed and put in the car weeks ago and once she was settled in her bed, she opened it and took out her mini tape recorder.

"Angel, go call everyone and tell them I'm in labor, okay? I know my mom is still in Europe but call her anyway. And tell Cordelia that she doesn't have to come because I know she really doesn't want to."

Angel did as he was asked and returned to see Buffy clinging to the pen so tightly her knuckles were white. "Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

A moment later, she opened her eyes and took deep breaths. "Just contractions," she said. "I've handled worse."

"Do you wanna have the epidural Dr. Schultz told you about?" he asked her.

"No, I told you, I wanna do this the natural way."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure." she blew him a kiss. "I'm fine, I don't need the drugs."


*****


"GIVE ME THE DRUGS!" she shouted an hour and a half later.

"Buffy, we can't, it's too late." Dr. Schultz said. "I'm gonna count to three and when I get to three, I want you to push, okay?"

"No," Buffy said defiantly. "Not until you give me the drugs."

"Buffy, honey, if you take the drugs now, it could be bad for the baby," Angel ad-libbed. He shrugged at the doctor and could tell by her eyes that she was smiling underneath her surgical mask.

"I don't wanna hurt her," Buffy said. "Let's just get this over with."

"Push," Dr. Schultz told her.

"I can see her head!" Angel said.

"Okay, I gotta rest," Buffy leaned against her pillows, panting for breath.

"Just one more push," the doctor encouraged. "Come on, Buffy. One more and Ashley will be here for you to hold, and kiss, and she'll be yours forever. Come on."

Buffy linked eyes with Angel and took a deep breath, then pushed with all her might.

"She's out!" Angel shouted happily. Ashley's cries filled the air as a nurse offered Angel a pair of scissors.

"Wanna cut the cord, Dad?" she asked.

Angel did it and then watched in awe as a nurse wrapped his daughter in a blue blanket and handed her to Buffy.

"Hi, baby." Buffy said as tears poured down her face. "Hi, Ashley. I'm your Mommy. Welcome to the world."

Ashley yawned and both Buffy and Angel laughed. "I think she's tired," Angel announced.

"She's not the only one," Buffy said. "You wanna hold her?"

Angel nodded and beamed as he took his baby girl into his arms. He blinked away tears and smiled at Buffy. "I love you."

"I love you too."