Intermission: Come Jerk It
"Now we can unleash the final phase in our plot to take over the world!!!"
Aaron Carter growled as he and Shaq, both lubed up with body oil, jumped
on a coffee table in the middle of Ash's den wearing nothing but towels
around their waists and smacking bottles of hand lotion along with the
beat. Tons of partygoers, including the ones outside, looked on as
Aaron and Shaq performed.
(sung wetly with hand motions under their towels to Aaron Carter's
"Come Get It" )
Aaron talking to the clubgoers:
Here's a little bit of new sperm for ya,
That smells a little something like this...
I always tried to be the hippest kid in the block
The popular one with my rising c*ck!!!
So that's when I had this wet idea
Throw the jerkoff of the month
No, the jerkoff of the year!!!
All the fine girls couldn't turn me down
Now all I gotta do is get my parents out
Should I send them to hell
No, send them to a motel!!!
I wanna jerk off, hmmmmmm
For a long time, though (everyone in the club: "Very long!!!")
I said Mom, Dad, yo why ya sittin home?
When the last time you made Mommy moan?
And don't worry about stayin' out too long
Don't fuss over me, I'll be fine alone (everyone: "In the bathroom!!!")
Have a good time...
The door bell rings cuz the party's here
I'm crankin' up my penis like it's New Year's!!!
Ejaculatin' 'round the house like who's Da Man
(everyone: "Ain't nobody squirt it like Aaron can!!!")
First on the toilet, you know that's me
Masturbatin' like "Loveline" on MTV!!!
I'm gettin' dizzy while I'm jerkin' cuz I lost my head
When I climaxed on table, this is what I said!!!
Babes all around you gotta
(Erika: "Come jerk it!!!")
Girlies all together jerk it off!!!
(Prima: "Come jerk it!!!")
Squirt all around 'cum' on
(Ryoko: "Come jerk it!!!")
What...!!!
(Agatha: "Come jerk it!!!")
Say it again!!!
(Professor Ivy: "Come jerk it!!!")
Babes all around you gotta
(Sailor Mars: "Brock, what in the hell's this all about?!")
From the top to the bottom, jerk off!!!
(Duplica: "Come jerk it!!!")
Here we go now, come on (*SPLURT!!!* sound of ejaculation)
UH uh WHAT what UHHHhhh....ooohh.....aaaaahhh......
Na na na na... Na na na na...
Shaq tries to rap:
My semen's flowin' great
Then to my surprise
Charles Barkley walks in, I didn't recognize
I said "NIGGA!!! Yo ya gotta get out!!!
(everyone: "Hey Shaq!!! I heard there was free porn!!!")
Free porn?
(everyone: "Yeah that's what the flyers said!!!")
I didn't put out flyers!
(everyone: "Well some hornball did!!!")
Then walked in
The coach I'm crushin'
And then I spilled my love juice
On Mrs. Ketchum's new cushion
(Mrs. Ketchum: "WHAT???!!!")
I turned around and
Cindy Crawford busted a tit
(I hope it wasn't expensive)
She got it from France
For now I won't sweat it
I'll clean the silicone later
There's some lotion over there
And I really wanna...umm...uhh...(long pause)...put it on my penis?!
(everyone: "You can't rap!!!
Don't quit the NBA, Shaq!!!")
Aaron's turn:
Dudes all around you gotta
(AJ: "Come jerk it!!!")
Dudes all together masturbate!!!
(Tenchi: "Come jerk it!!!")
Pump all around come on
(Koga: "Come jerk it!!!")
What?
(Falkner: "Come jerk it!!!")
Say it again here we go, uh
(Brock: "Umm, come jerk it?! Rei, honey...?!")
Dudes all around you gotta
(Ranma: "Come jerk it!!!")
From the bottom to the top, ejaculate!!!
(King Kai: "Come jerk it!!!")
Here we go now, cum on!!!
Uh uh what WHAT?! *SPLURT* UHNnnnhh...busted a second nut...
Aaron C's in the bathroom, here we go
"Cum" with it
Break it down
(everyone while making jerking motions with hands: "pump, pump, pump,
pump, pump...")
(insert impending doom-like music like "One-Winged Angel" from Final
Fantasy 7, or the "Sorceress" theme from Final Fantasy 8. Either
one's just fine!!!)
Everyone in Ash's house, except for Giselle, Tracey, the Chu Dan Warriors,
and the Psyfather crime family, was under the spell of Aaron's unholy jerkoff
ritual.
"I AM THE MASTURBATORY DEITY, AARON CARTER!!! SOON I AND MY SERVANT
SHAQ WILL ENSLAVE YOU ALL AND ASSIMILATE YOU INTO THE COLLECTIVE WILL OF
OUR LORD, THE KING OF POP, MICHAEL JACKSON!!!
Shaq giggled, "You beat his meat, too!!!"
Aaron growls, "WILL YOU STOP THAT?! QUIT TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT
ALL THE MEAT THAT I BEAT!!!"
Shaq still kept smiling stupidly, "He beat my meat!!!"
"EVERYONE KNOWS THAT I BEAT YOUR MEAT ALREADY!!! WILL YA' SHUT
UP!!!"
"Macaulay Culkin..."
"SHHH!!!!"
"David Boreanaz..."
"DAMN YOU!!!"
"Ashley Olsen..."
"SHUT UP!!! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP ASHLEY'S PENIS A SECRET, REMEMBER!!!"
"But Aaron, you beat all of our meats!!! We love you..."
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Next Episode: Jigglypuff Vs. The Power Rangers...and Lawrence
III?! Ash and Misty race to Pallet Town to stop the B-1000!!! Mrs. Ketchum's in for the shock of her life!!! The Chu Dan knock
Psyduck back into his senses!!! More S&M with Giselle and Tracey!!! Michael Jackson stops by for the newly acquired vessel of doom, the Death
Jizzer!!! And more insane crap!!!
