random author thought: Why do I insist on calling Legato, Midvalley and Dominique by their Scooby names yet refer to Zazie and Wolfwood by their GHG names? Symbolism? It just sounds cool? I'm a moron? All this will be answered in this chapter!
.... well, maybe not.
---
*and it continues! -- the gang, a.k.a. the unlucky Legato, Midvalley, Dominique, Chapel and Zazie are all trudging up the long driveway to Midvalley's creepy whore house. Why Legato didn't just park closer is a mystery*
{Midvalley} Dammit, my feet are killing me.
{Dominique} *smirk* It's because of those ugly dress shoes.
{Midvalley} Legato, do I really have to wea.... *he trails off and shuts up at Legato's glare*
*they continue to trudge along in silence now until a Shadowy Figure suddenly steps out from behind some trees along the driveway*
{Shadowy Figure} What are you doing out here?!
{Zazie} IT'S THE CAT!!! *jumps onto Wolfwood's head again*
{Wolfwood} Furken mey mmf fed rundt!
{Shadowy Figure} *sweatdrops* Uh... who are you guys?
{Dominique} That's a good question. Who are you?
{Shadowy Figure} Hey, I asked first!
{Midvalley} You wouldn't happen to be one of my whores, would you?
{Shadowy Figure} No! Freak.
{Legato} My name is Fred, this is Daphne and this is Velma. The two chickens over there *motions to Wolfwood and Zazie* are Chapel and Zazie-Doo.
{Midvalley} *whispering* Hey... how come you call those two by their Gung-Ho-Guns names but not the rest of us?
{Legato} It is His will.
{Midvalley} Oh.... [Convenient excuse.]
{Shadowy Figure} *cough* Um, excuse me....
{Midvalley} Oh yeah, you didn't introduce yourself yet.
{Shadowy Figure} Can I now?
{Legato} Of course.
{Shadowy Figure} Great! *he finally steps out of the shadows, revealing himself to be a tall blonde man in a gray shirt and black pants. Small yellow glasses rest on his nose and he looks badly in need of a hair cut and a shave* My name is Eriks. *a small text bubble with the words "Not Vash" in it pops up next to him*
{Midvalley} Eriks? That's not a very good whore name.
{Eriks} Because I'm not a whore, you hornfreak!!
{Wolfwood} *having finally pried Zazie off his face, he takes a good look at Eriks* Hey, you look kind of familiar.
{Eriks} I hear that a lot.
{Wolfwood} .... are you sure you're not a whore?
{Eriks} I'm sure!! What kind of priest are you?!
{Dominique} *ahems* If you're not one of Midvalley's whores, then what are you doing here?
{Eriks} *calming* I came here looking for a good time myself but ended up having the bad luck to come just after all the whores left.
{Midvalley} THEY LEFT?! *about to faint*
{Eriks} *nods* They were all scared away by the ghost.
{Zazie} Rhost?! *hops on Dominique's head this time who simply stands there and sweatdrops*
{Eriks} *nods again* Yeah. Come on, I'll tell you more about it inside. *Eriks and the gang continue up the drive way and head inside the huge house. After the door closes, a small bunch of red flower petals blow by mysteriously. Creeepy..... or not*
*the scene changes to the inside the house where Legato, Midvalley, Dominique and Eriks are all sitting comfortably in the living room. Wolfwood and Zazie are both in the kitchen, hunting for food*
{Eriks} *explaining the situation* So you see, the whore house had to close down because the ghost scared away the visitors. They wanted sex, not the supernatural.
{Midvalley} Understandable.
{Eriks} Since business was so slow, a lot of the whores just left to get new jobs as plant engineers. A few of the more desperate ones stuck around but even they ended up getting frightened away by the ghost.
{Dominique} Jeepers.
{Legato} Why are you still here then, Eriks?
{Eriks} Well, I figured if I could get rid of the ghost, all of the whores would come back. I'm kind of having trouble tracking down a mysterious singing ghost by myself though....
{Midvalley} *determined* Don't worry, we'll help you!
{Dominique} We will?
{Legato} We will.
{Dominique} [All this because "He" has a sick sense of humor and the guys want to get laid....]
{Eriks} Wow, thanks! You kids are really great. *sniffles happily before sobering almost immediately and standing* Well, I'd better get going to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. Goodnight. *he stretches and stands before exiting the room*
*in the kitchen....*
{Wolfwood} Edible underwear, edible bra, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, cherries.... I think this is one of those packs of flavoured condoms....
{Zazie} ..... Rust rive me a rerry.
*in the library (why does a whore house have a library? why does Midvalley play the sax and not the trombone?), the other three seem to have decided to start their investigation already instead of getting any sleep like most people do after weird days and long road trips*
{Legato} There's got to be something about the ghost in one of these books.
{Dominique} Fred, look! I've found something!
{Midvalley} Damn, that was quick.
{Dominique} I've got an eye for this sort of thing.
*in the book Dominique is holding, there's a drawing of a woman standing with her back to the viewer, long dark hair blowing in some sort of breeze. Red flower petals are scattered about and the lyrics to a song titled 'Sound Life' are written on the next page*
{Dominique} See?
{Midvalley} Oh how horrible!!
{Dominique} Eh?
{Midvalley} Those lyrics....
*Dominique sweatdrops*
{Legato} Does it have any information on her?
{Dominique} Let's see.... *flips to the next page and reads* Rem Saverem. .... what a strange name....
{Midvalley} You're one to talk.
{Dominique} At least 'freak' isn't part of my name.
{Midvalley} Shut up cyclops. How do you know that's the right girl anyways?
{Dominique} She was on the first page of the first book I picked up. It's got to be her. *looks back at the book* Hm.... it also says that she haunts this planet and lays an ancient curse on anyone who's not "pure of heart".
*somewhere, Knives sneezes*
{Legato} But how did the whores get this land in the first place if Rem curses everyone?
{Dominique} That's a good question, Fred. Maybe if we look some more, we'll find the answer.
{Legato} Right. Let's find Chapel and Zazie. They can help us look for clues.
*back in the kitchen....*
{Wolfwood} Like, I've never eaten so much edible underwear in my life.
---
- end chapter two
dun dun DUN!!! What will happen to our heroes (?) next?! Find out in the next chapter of the always exciting, always corny, always bizarre -- Zazie-Doo!
{Zazie} Zazie-Sazie-Dooooo!!
{Monev} I wanted a part in this too.... no one likes the guys in purple spandex. It's not fair!
...
author rambling: Wasn't that fun? No? Yeah, I didn't think so either. At least the plot (???) is starting to move along. Sort of. Kind of. Maybe. Eh.
.... well, maybe not.
---
*and it continues! -- the gang, a.k.a. the unlucky Legato, Midvalley, Dominique, Chapel and Zazie are all trudging up the long driveway to Midvalley's creepy whore house. Why Legato didn't just park closer is a mystery*
{Midvalley} Dammit, my feet are killing me.
{Dominique} *smirk* It's because of those ugly dress shoes.
{Midvalley} Legato, do I really have to wea.... *he trails off and shuts up at Legato's glare*
*they continue to trudge along in silence now until a Shadowy Figure suddenly steps out from behind some trees along the driveway*
{Shadowy Figure} What are you doing out here?!
{Zazie} IT'S THE CAT!!! *jumps onto Wolfwood's head again*
{Wolfwood} Furken mey mmf fed rundt!
{Shadowy Figure} *sweatdrops* Uh... who are you guys?
{Dominique} That's a good question. Who are you?
{Shadowy Figure} Hey, I asked first!
{Midvalley} You wouldn't happen to be one of my whores, would you?
{Shadowy Figure} No! Freak.
{Legato} My name is Fred, this is Daphne and this is Velma. The two chickens over there *motions to Wolfwood and Zazie* are Chapel and Zazie-Doo.
{Midvalley} *whispering* Hey... how come you call those two by their Gung-Ho-Guns names but not the rest of us?
{Legato} It is His will.
{Midvalley} Oh.... [Convenient excuse.]
{Shadowy Figure} *cough* Um, excuse me....
{Midvalley} Oh yeah, you didn't introduce yourself yet.
{Shadowy Figure} Can I now?
{Legato} Of course.
{Shadowy Figure} Great! *he finally steps out of the shadows, revealing himself to be a tall blonde man in a gray shirt and black pants. Small yellow glasses rest on his nose and he looks badly in need of a hair cut and a shave* My name is Eriks. *a small text bubble with the words "Not Vash" in it pops up next to him*
{Midvalley} Eriks? That's not a very good whore name.
{Eriks} Because I'm not a whore, you hornfreak!!
{Wolfwood} *having finally pried Zazie off his face, he takes a good look at Eriks* Hey, you look kind of familiar.
{Eriks} I hear that a lot.
{Wolfwood} .... are you sure you're not a whore?
{Eriks} I'm sure!! What kind of priest are you?!
{Dominique} *ahems* If you're not one of Midvalley's whores, then what are you doing here?
{Eriks} *calming* I came here looking for a good time myself but ended up having the bad luck to come just after all the whores left.
{Midvalley} THEY LEFT?! *about to faint*
{Eriks} *nods* They were all scared away by the ghost.
{Zazie} Rhost?! *hops on Dominique's head this time who simply stands there and sweatdrops*
{Eriks} *nods again* Yeah. Come on, I'll tell you more about it inside. *Eriks and the gang continue up the drive way and head inside the huge house. After the door closes, a small bunch of red flower petals blow by mysteriously. Creeepy..... or not*
*the scene changes to the inside the house where Legato, Midvalley, Dominique and Eriks are all sitting comfortably in the living room. Wolfwood and Zazie are both in the kitchen, hunting for food*
{Eriks} *explaining the situation* So you see, the whore house had to close down because the ghost scared away the visitors. They wanted sex, not the supernatural.
{Midvalley} Understandable.
{Eriks} Since business was so slow, a lot of the whores just left to get new jobs as plant engineers. A few of the more desperate ones stuck around but even they ended up getting frightened away by the ghost.
{Dominique} Jeepers.
{Legato} Why are you still here then, Eriks?
{Eriks} Well, I figured if I could get rid of the ghost, all of the whores would come back. I'm kind of having trouble tracking down a mysterious singing ghost by myself though....
{Midvalley} *determined* Don't worry, we'll help you!
{Dominique} We will?
{Legato} We will.
{Dominique} [All this because "He" has a sick sense of humor and the guys want to get laid....]
{Eriks} Wow, thanks! You kids are really great. *sniffles happily before sobering almost immediately and standing* Well, I'd better get going to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. Goodnight. *he stretches and stands before exiting the room*
*in the kitchen....*
{Wolfwood} Edible underwear, edible bra, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, cherries.... I think this is one of those packs of flavoured condoms....
{Zazie} ..... Rust rive me a rerry.
*in the library (why does a whore house have a library? why does Midvalley play the sax and not the trombone?), the other three seem to have decided to start their investigation already instead of getting any sleep like most people do after weird days and long road trips*
{Legato} There's got to be something about the ghost in one of these books.
{Dominique} Fred, look! I've found something!
{Midvalley} Damn, that was quick.
{Dominique} I've got an eye for this sort of thing.
*in the book Dominique is holding, there's a drawing of a woman standing with her back to the viewer, long dark hair blowing in some sort of breeze. Red flower petals are scattered about and the lyrics to a song titled 'Sound Life' are written on the next page*
{Dominique} See?
{Midvalley} Oh how horrible!!
{Dominique} Eh?
{Midvalley} Those lyrics....
*Dominique sweatdrops*
{Legato} Does it have any information on her?
{Dominique} Let's see.... *flips to the next page and reads* Rem Saverem. .... what a strange name....
{Midvalley} You're one to talk.
{Dominique} At least 'freak' isn't part of my name.
{Midvalley} Shut up cyclops. How do you know that's the right girl anyways?
{Dominique} She was on the first page of the first book I picked up. It's got to be her. *looks back at the book* Hm.... it also says that she haunts this planet and lays an ancient curse on anyone who's not "pure of heart".
*somewhere, Knives sneezes*
{Legato} But how did the whores get this land in the first place if Rem curses everyone?
{Dominique} That's a good question, Fred. Maybe if we look some more, we'll find the answer.
{Legato} Right. Let's find Chapel and Zazie. They can help us look for clues.
*back in the kitchen....*
{Wolfwood} Like, I've never eaten so much edible underwear in my life.
---
- end chapter two
dun dun DUN!!! What will happen to our heroes (?) next?! Find out in the next chapter of the always exciting, always corny, always bizarre -- Zazie-Doo!
{Zazie} Zazie-Sazie-Dooooo!!
{Monev} I wanted a part in this too.... no one likes the guys in purple spandex. It's not fair!
...
author rambling: Wasn't that fun? No? Yeah, I didn't think so either. At least the plot (???) is starting to move along. Sort of. Kind of. Maybe. Eh.
