Disclaimer: I don't own Riley (::cruelly:: who would want to?). He belongs to Joss and the WB. I own everyone from the club. You can not have them, haha!!
Note: I owe this all to Q, who I am forever in debt to (literally, I owe WAY too much money to her). We were talking and she came up with this mini-plot. I inserted Riley in (because even though he's gone, I still can't seem to get my fill of bashing in) and wrote it out (she doesn't write fic and I hate to let a good idea go to waste) but it's still all her's. Thanks, from Cici.
Riley was having a tough time readjusting to being back in civilization after his long sabbatical in Africa. He was too timid to go back to Sunnydale, so instead he had settled back down in a small Midwest town.
*This is perfect* He thought. *I'm sure there will be plenty of nice girls here to take my mind off Buffy*
But after staying for a while, he realized there weren't. None that would go out with him anyway. So when he saw the flyer that read 'People-Who-Can't-Get-A-Date Club meeting, Wednesday, 7:30 PM', he knew he had to go.
And so he arrived at the Moose Lodge at 7:15 and took a seat. There were all kinds of freaks there; a man with his finger superglued to his nose, a woman who swelled up from tiny, disgusting hives all over her body, a young gas station worker who appeared to have a barracuda stuck to his forehead.
Riley shuddered. Everyone there had a deformity, a horrible trait that made them nearly impossible to look at. *Well, at least I can feel better about myself now* He thought *I'll never be as weird as them*
A lady who looked as if she'd been electrocuted stood up on a podium and smiled. "Hello, it appears that we have a new member today. May I proudly introduce Riley Finn."
She gestured at him and he stood up, waving nervously. He could have sworn he heard someone in the back snort. *No...* He thought. *That's ridiculous. I'm the only normal person here.*
"Riley." Electro Shock Lady said. "Would you mind coming up here and telling us a little about yourself?" She seemed to be sneering.
Reluctantly, Riley went up to the front and took over the podium. "Hello, my name is Riley Finn."
Someone in the back coughed, muttering 'Loser' under their breath. Riley had no doubts that he had heard it, but he continued.
"I enjoy fishing, hunting, various forms of combat, and..." The gas station worker interrupted him. "What a freak!"
"Hey." Riley said. "I'm not..." Hive Woman began laughing hysterically. The rest of the club members joined in, pointing and giggling. "I-I..." Riley began to cry, running out of the Moose Lodge and into the street.
"Honestly." Said a man with bubble wrap covering half of his body. "I have never seen such a weirdo, have you?"
The rest of the club shook their heads. "It's really just pathetic." A cone headed teenage girl muttered, looking down. "I can't imagine something sadder."
The End
Yes, it DID take me five minutes to write this fic. Aren't you so proud of me? Don't answer that...Please take it easy when reviewing this ::ducks rotten tomatoes::
'And the world is left to wonder...where the HELL was CG's mind today?'
Note: I owe this all to Q, who I am forever in debt to (literally, I owe WAY too much money to her). We were talking and she came up with this mini-plot. I inserted Riley in (because even though he's gone, I still can't seem to get my fill of bashing in) and wrote it out (she doesn't write fic and I hate to let a good idea go to waste) but it's still all her's. Thanks, from Cici.
Riley was having a tough time readjusting to being back in civilization after his long sabbatical in Africa. He was too timid to go back to Sunnydale, so instead he had settled back down in a small Midwest town.
*This is perfect* He thought. *I'm sure there will be plenty of nice girls here to take my mind off Buffy*
But after staying for a while, he realized there weren't. None that would go out with him anyway. So when he saw the flyer that read 'People-Who-Can't-Get-A-Date Club meeting, Wednesday, 7:30 PM', he knew he had to go.
And so he arrived at the Moose Lodge at 7:15 and took a seat. There were all kinds of freaks there; a man with his finger superglued to his nose, a woman who swelled up from tiny, disgusting hives all over her body, a young gas station worker who appeared to have a barracuda stuck to his forehead.
Riley shuddered. Everyone there had a deformity, a horrible trait that made them nearly impossible to look at. *Well, at least I can feel better about myself now* He thought *I'll never be as weird as them*
A lady who looked as if she'd been electrocuted stood up on a podium and smiled. "Hello, it appears that we have a new member today. May I proudly introduce Riley Finn."
She gestured at him and he stood up, waving nervously. He could have sworn he heard someone in the back snort. *No...* He thought. *That's ridiculous. I'm the only normal person here.*
"Riley." Electro Shock Lady said. "Would you mind coming up here and telling us a little about yourself?" She seemed to be sneering.
Reluctantly, Riley went up to the front and took over the podium. "Hello, my name is Riley Finn."
Someone in the back coughed, muttering 'Loser' under their breath. Riley had no doubts that he had heard it, but he continued.
"I enjoy fishing, hunting, various forms of combat, and..." The gas station worker interrupted him. "What a freak!"
"Hey." Riley said. "I'm not..." Hive Woman began laughing hysterically. The rest of the club members joined in, pointing and giggling. "I-I..." Riley began to cry, running out of the Moose Lodge and into the street.
"Honestly." Said a man with bubble wrap covering half of his body. "I have never seen such a weirdo, have you?"
The rest of the club shook their heads. "It's really just pathetic." A cone headed teenage girl muttered, looking down. "I can't imagine something sadder."
The End
Yes, it DID take me five minutes to write this fic. Aren't you so proud of me? Don't answer that...Please take it easy when reviewing this ::ducks rotten tomatoes::
'And the world is left to wonder...where the HELL was CG's mind today?'
