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It was my fault. All my fault.

The Devil had the pleasure of torturing me for what seemed like forever, and still is. If I had done a better job… If I hadn't given it up… Things would be different. God, would things be different. I'm a disgrace to my own kind, but the ones I care about most have been betrayed. Not by me, but by those who I also trusted. In reality, no one is to blame, but if I had only tried to talk to him just a bit more, it might have never happened. Things would be different.

Everyone's dead… Even I feel dead.

The other isn't dead, although he should be. He is what used to be human, a shell of a being. Nothing more, nothing less. There are fates far worse than death. He deserves it. The bastard will rot in hell for what he did, even God isn't that forgiving. Trust is the most sacred thing in the world, something too fragile to touch, for one smudge and it will break. He didn't get what he deserved. He never will receive what he deserves.

Ever.

Nothing could ever show him how much he is hated, no one. The day he is tortured until he is inside out, his veins throbbing but not able to explode, death not able to overcome him, I will be satisfied for one moment of his deed. One moment of his selfishness, one moment of his lack of humanity. He shall never meet God, nor will he meet the Devil, a gift far too precious to bestow upon him. He is scum. He shall rot forever, as forever is never ending and eternal. He took the few people away that cared about me, that took me in when no one else will. I will get even, I will never forgive him.

Ever.

It's Christmas, a time for celebrating, but what do I have to celebrate? My friends are gone, the people I thought I could trust I can't, and he is alone alone in the world. All alone, with no one to care for him or love him...

For less than two months they have been gone. They will never return, no magic can raise the dead.

Sirius Black killed my best friend, and he shall never be forgiven.

Ever.

December 25th, 1981. Remus Lupin.