A/N: Well, hullo there! Glad you decided to stop by. This is my first HP fanfic and I'm rather excited about it. I've got rough drafts for the next five chapters, so hopefully things will move along pretty quickly. If you wish to review, I'd be very grateful. Don't worry about mincing words or being polite; I'm a big girl, I can take criticism! So, go ahead, rip this apart, I dare you!
Oh, by the way, does anyone recognize where I got the title "Never Is Enough"? Quick hint, think about songs written by rock bands.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this belongs to me. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling who is neither a god or goddess, but a simple mortal. May we all follow her example.
Never Is Enough - Chapter 1: Just Another Day
"Die fear;
For I need the strength you steal,
the focus you demand,
the solitude your absence brings."
Ron Weasley's day did not begin well at all.
He woke suddenly and completely out of sleep with a gasp. Blinking his eyes a few times, Ron glanced around the room. It took him a moment to realize that the rest of the beds were empty and that the sun was filtering through the window in an odd angle. Making the mental connection that he had overslept, he cursed and tumbled out of bed.
Flinging his trunk open, Ron searched for some robes that were halfway clean. Finally finding one that only had a small blue-colored stain, he quickly slipped it over his head. Stuffing his feet into a pair of sneakers, Ron found his book satchel and swung it over his shoulder. Grabbing his wand off the nightstand and stuffing it in his robe's pockets, Ron raced out of the dormitory praying that he wasn't too late for a little breakfast.
Luckily, he wasn't. He made it to the Great Hall with enough time for a bowl of porridge. Panting slightly, Ron slid into a seat next to Harry and hurriedly grabbed a bowl from the center of the table. "For bloody sakes, Harry, you could've woken me up!" he growled as he seized his spoon and began to eat.
"I did. What you said, and this is a direct quote, was 'Geroff me, Har-ee, I'm schleeping'. Or at least I think that's what you said. I couldn't tell from around your pillow." Harry grinned as Ron began to shovel spoonfuls of porridge into his mouth at an alarming rate.
"Well, you should've made sure that I got up." He grabbed a mug full of milk and took a long gulp. Wiping his mouth on his sleeve, he glanced up across the table to see Hermione looking disgustedly at him. "What?"
"I was just thinking how much you resembled a pig when you eat. Might as well throw all your food into a trough. How can you eat so fast?"
"Easy, I'm fifteen, hungry, and late. I've developed a talent for eating without needing to breathe. But speaking of Pig, have the owls already delivered the morning ma…"
SPLASH!
Ron blinked in surprise and wiped his eyes. There, in the middle of his breakfast, sat Pigwidgeon who was hooting excitedly. The small owl shook his feathers, which sent more globs of porridge all over Ron.
"Pig!" Grabbing a napkin that sat in a pile in the center of the Gryffindor eating table, Ron busily began to try and clean himself up. He looked up to see that Harry, Hermione, and pretty much the rest of the Gryffindors who were still eating breakfast trying to stifle hysterical laughter. "Oh, really, honestly, can't somebody help me clean off Pig? I'm really running late!"
"Hey, Ron!" called out either Fred or George. "Fancy some owl with your porridge?"
Giggling, Hermione grabbed a squirming Pigwidgeon and began to clean his feathers. "Ron, you have to admit its funny. I mean, the look on your face!"
"Uh-huh. It's just hilarious. I love Pig splashing porridge all over me. Damn, I don't even have time to go and change robes!" moaned Ron as other students began to stand up and head towards their respective classes.
"Well, you could just be late," Harry suggested as he helped Ron wipe off the sticky cereal, his green eyes twinkling.
"Yeah. Right. Late for Transfiguration. McGonagall would have a cat. That's a good one Harry," stated Ron sarcastically. "I can't believe you aren't doing stand-up comedy in Hogsmeade."
Harry piled the pile of porridge-covered napkins in the middle of the table, his mouth still twitching. "Well, I could always pair up with you and Pig, the Amazing Porridge-Covered Owl?"
"You mean, the Formerly Porridge-Covered Owl." Hermione neatly said as she flung the now-clean Pigwidgeon up into the air. He flapped clumsily for a minute and then quickly soared out of the eating room, no doubt to head back to the Owlery.
"Thanks Hermione," Ron said gratefully as he grabbed the satchel at his feet and stood up. Harry and Hermione followed suit and all three of them headed to Transfiguration together. They raced up the staircases, down the various hallways, and just managed to slide into their desks as McGonagall entered the room.
"Good morning Gryffindors." Professor McGonagall walked to the front of the room and put her briefcase on top of the desk there. "Since I know you are all eager to impress me with the essay that I assigned last class, please get out your homework." She then began to circle around the room, picking up scrolls of parchment.
Harry scrounged in his pack and pulled out a much-creased and wrinkled scroll. Hermione already had hers neatly sitting on her desk, the neat handwriting covering every last inch. Ron stuck his hand in his satchel and when it didn't find his homework, he stuck his head in.
"Is there a problem, Weasley?"
Ron pulled his head out and looked up to see McGonagall looking at him with a small frown on his face, the eyes behind her glasses flashing. "Um, Professor, it seems as if I left my essay in my room." He winced as her frown deepened.
"Really, Weasley. Somehow, I'm not surprised. This is the third time in the past two weeks." McGonagall shook her head. As he stood up to go back to his dormitory to get it, she held out a stalling hand. "No, Weasley, you may not go back to your room to retrieve it. Not only will I take twenty points from Gryffindor but also you'll have that grade missing. Maybe that will help you remember to bring your work to class in the future!" With a sniff, she snatched up Harry and Hermione's essays and moved on.
Lunch eventually arrived and Ron was glad of it. Transfiguration had been full of note taking and he had worn his quill near down to the nub. He flung himself down at the Gryffindor table and took five chicken sandwiches to eat.
"What do you think of Professor Trelawney being gone this term?" Harry said as he sat down next to Ron.
"I think it's a blessing," said Ron truthfully. "I mean, since there's no replacement professor, there's no Divination. No star charts, no crystal balls, no bloody predictions."
"And remember, Professor Vector's gone as well with no substitute," said Hermione, her eyes deep in her Arithmancy book. "I can't believe that there are so many teachers missing this term. We do have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher though, big surprise. Professor Milkweed isn't too bad," she added in an offhand way, "but I still think Lupin was best."
"Hermione," asked Ron, staring at her. "Why are you studying Arithmancy when you haven't got a class in it?"
"Oh, I just want to go over what I've learned, look a bit ahead in the book. It never hurts to stay ahead." She ignored the look that passed between Harry and Ron that clearly said "she's nuts!"
The rest of lunch passed blissfully without mishap. However, Potions was a disaster. Ron accidentally added his newt's blood before the river roots, which had caused his Blinding potion to explode all over the dungeon. Some students had temporarily lost their sight and Snape had been furious. Finally, when dinner rolled around, Ron sat with Harry and Hermione gloomily eating and complaining.
"I swear," he muttered as he glared at his roast beef and mashed potatoes. "I cannot wait for this day to be over and done with already."
Hermione sighed, flicking a page in the huge book situated in front of her. "Please, Ron, everyone has bad days."
"That mean I can't complain about it then?" With a grimace, Ron shoved away his empty plate. "There should be some kind of rule, that you can't have bad luck for more than one day tops."
Hermione just rolled her eyes but Harry pushed his bangs to the side as he looked sympathetically at Ron. "Hey, I know what'll make you feel better. How about a ride on my Firebolt tomorrow? We have that small break between lunch and Herbology. We could go to the Quidditch field and you could have a go."
Ron sat up on the bench of the Gryffindor table and shot him a smile. "Thanks Harry. Sorry to complain Hermione," he added when she made faces. "It just seems like this is the latest in a stream of bad days. Things just haven't been going well for me since we came back to Hogwarts. It's almost as if I've been cursed." Twisting around, Ron stabbed a glare towards the Slytherin table, to Draco Malfoy in particular.
"Oh, Ron, nobody has hexed you," Hermione said in a huff. "With all the added homework we've been getting, I don't think anybody could get a chance! Not even the Slytherins. And things haven't been that bad. You're exaggerating."
Ron promptly turned back and transferred his glare to Hermione.
"All right, all right, I'll shut up! Remind me never to talk to you when you're in this kind of mood again!" Hermione then turned all her attention to her dinner, pulling her Arithmancy book closer.
After they had finished eating, all three had headed back to the Gryffindor common room. It was about half full of students, the rest undoubtedly at dinner or studying in the library. There was a low rumble of noise as other Gryffindors were busy doing homework, talking animatedly, or playing games of Exploding Snap. Hermione immediately claimed one of the available round tables and began to fling her books onto it. Reluctantly, Ron followed, remembering that they had a quiz in Charms the next day. Harry joined them and they began to study.
Several hours later, Ron irritably closed his Charms textbook and shoved it into his satchel. "Well, that's it. I'm sick of studying for that quiz. What was that reading that Professor Sprout assigned for tomorrow?"
Harry looked up from his Herbology textbook. "It's on Flesh Eating Venus plants. Specifically, their feeding."
Ron looked through the pile of books on the table and sighed. "Guess my Herbology book is upstairs. Be back in a second." He got up and headed towards the boys dormitory.
Halfway across the room, he bumped into a black-haired first year. She looked up at him with wide eyes, mumbling under her breath. Wondering what had gotten her bothered, he said "Sorry" and went up the stairs, taking two steps at a time.
* * * *
Ellie bumped into the tall, redheaded boy as she headed out of the common room. He said something to her as she gazed confusedly at him but she couldn't hear what he said over the constant chattering in her head, the ramblings and instructions.
It had been so hard to concentrate lately. In the beginning, the voices had only been whispers, a slight murmuring. Easy to ignore in favor of her Magic studies. But the mutterings had grown with each passing day. Today it had been loud, so loud she could barely hear anything else. The words slithered around her head until she thought she'd go mad. However, she could understand what the words meant and they told her how to silence them.
Walking to the entrance to the Gryffindor room, Ellie climbed out of the portrait hole and walked down the hall. She passed other students heading towards the common room. She even thought she heard one or two call out her name, the voices hissed and demanded she keep on task.
Ellie walked, she knew not where. Her feet found a course all their own as she struggled to contain the insistent voices, the pounding in her head. She walked up and down stairs, down passageways. Very quickly, all other people disappeared as she went into the nether regions of the Hogwarts castle.
Soon she arrived in a small, empty room. Her eyes blinked rapidly as her mumbling grew louder. The voices were now screaming, telling her what to do and she hurriedly moved to obey them.
* * * *
Ron turned over in his bed and glanced at the cloak on his bedside table. Two o'clock. He sighed and sat up, running a hand through his hair. He had been trying to sleep for the past two hours, but it hadn't been working. After finishing most of their homework, Harry and Ron had headed sleepily up to the dormitory, leaving Hermione still fussing over her essay. However, while Harry had fallen asleep almost instantly, Ron hadn't had the same luck. He had twisted and turned, tangled the sheets, and hadn't been able to stop his runaway thoughts.
Giving up, Ron got out of bed and padded softly over to the one window in the fifth year boy's dormitory. There was a full moon and the silvery light poured through. He stepped into the light, leaned his elbows on the sill, and looked out over the Hogwarts grounds. It looked silent and slightly eerie.
Ron knew precisely why he'd been forgetful lately. It had been hard to concentrate on things, with his thoughts chasing around in his head. It almost seemed that school was far away. And his thoughts centered mostly on what had happened last spring, on the evil that was looming over the wizarding community.
Ron briefly looked at Harry who was sleeping the sleep of the dead. Ron wondered how Harry could seem so calm when You Know Who had risen and was at large in the world. If he had been in Harry's place, Ron would have found the deepest, darkest hole possible and stayed there. Heck, he was only Harry's best friend and he still wanted to find a deep hole and cower.
That thought really troubled him. Harry had always been a target ever since he was a tiny baby. However, before it had always been Harry in trouble, Harry with the big X on his back. Now Ron realized that he was a target just by being Harry's friend. Really, anyone at the school could be targeted just because they attended the same school as Harry. And it was unnerving. It hadn't really bothered Ron much their first four years at school, even though he now realized that he had been in just as much danger then as now. But during those four years, nobody had died. Cedric Diggory's death had hit it home to Ron that many lives were in jeopardy, including his.
It hadn't helped that the past summer had been exceedingly tense. Mum and Dad had been busy and white-faced most of the time, flying to secret meetings, getting Charlie or Bill to watch over him, Ginny, Fred and George. Ron knew that Dumbledore was doing his best to prepare himself and the school for the inevitable attack from You Know Who. Mum and Dad wouldn't say a word when Ron asked them what was going on but they had restricted all of the them to the Burrow and Mum would occasionally hug Ron fiercely for no good reason. If that wasn't a clear sign that things were getting bad, he didn't know what was.
It wasn't that with the sudden danger that Ron didn't want to be Harry's friend. Ron would never even consider such a thing. But that didn't make him any less scared for his life and the lives of his friends. And while Harry was certainly very brave and had proved it on many occasions, Ron wasn't all that positive that he was as well. He was certain that if it had been him tied to that slab staring down You Know Who, he would've passed out from terror.
There was also something else that was bothering Ron to no end. Nobody at Hogwarts acted as if anything was wrong, as if You Know Who hadn't come back. Now Ron knew that Fudge had suppressed what had happened at Hogwarts from the general wizarding world, but Dumbledore had told all the students what had happened to Cedric in the maze. They couldn't have forgotten, could they? Ron had expected the other students to be as worried as he was. When nobody had acted that way, he had felt even more cowardly.
He sighed, leaned even more on the sill, and stuck his head out of the window. It was a breezeless night. Everything was still, even the Whomping Willow that Ron could just barely see. It was as if everything was frozen and Ron was the only one who could move. He shivered slightly, and pulled his head back inside. Firmly banishing his dark thoughts, Ron crawled back into bed and resolutely closed his eyes.
