Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Yes, its that time again. He's upstairs getting all dolled up. I tried to get out of it this time but he won't damn let me. Every single month, will he ever give up? Every single month for ten long years. That's not counting the Christmas party (he was rather drunk). He's calling me, I've got to go. How embarrassing.

Love

Hermione

We're sitting in the restaurant. He's smiling at me as if what he's about to do is some big surprise. His red hair his gelled down, he always looks ridiculous with his hair like this. Oh God, he's struck up the band. He's getting down on one knee. There it is. His damn proposal. Marriage, family, happiness, he knows I won't get married until I know where they are. I have to explain it to him again. His face is falling. He should know how to take it, I mean he's been rejected about 120 times. He thinks they're dead, he gave up long ago. I know that if I want Ron to stop proposing I should move out. Its just, I'm scared he'll leave. Then it will be just me. All alone. He's just strode out of the restaurant. People in the restaurant are staring at me, they think I'm cruel. Some people don't look up of course. There's only a limited amount of restaurants in this town and Ron has proposed in them all more than once. Some regular restaurant goers know us so well that they pat me on the back before they leave. They understand that Ron won't give up. Damn Ron left me with the bill again. When he's really ticked off he does that. I want to say yes. I really do. But a wedding won't really be the same without them. Also, when I think of my wedding, Ron's not the groom I see at the altar no matter how hard I try. I go to pay the bill. The manager smiles at me. He knows me well, he was at the Christmas party. That horrible party was possibly the most embarrassing scene of all. It was 3 years ago and not a word had been said about the party by neither Ron nor me. Ron hardly spoke a word in the month afterwards and I couldn't look one person in town in the eye.

It was cold outside, Ron always seemed to pick cold nights. I let myself into the house. He was staring into the fire. His eyes had no focus. I tried to mount the stairs quietly.

"Why?" he asked, his eyes didn't move from the fire.

"You know perfectly well why, they're coming back Ron,"

Ron didn't answer. He continued to stare moodily into the fire. I walked up the stairs. I picked up the photo album and flipped to my favourite photo. There we were. Myself, Ginny, Ron and in the back of the photo, frowning grumpily, was Draco. It hadn't been the happiest time. Despite this Harry was laughing heartily and Ginny was smiling. Some kind of joke had been made about Draco. I can't quite remember what the joke was, something to do with Draco's appearance, what was it? …. His nose?… his clothes?… Ron's door slammed. It was hard to pinpoint when Ron had lost hope. He'd gone into a depressing stupor for many months and when he'd come out of it, he'd had a sense of purpose. From that time on, no one mentioned their names anymore. It had been an unspoken rule I drop my head thinking about it. I have to get out of the house. I bound the steps in a few leaps. I run outside, the cold air hist me with a sudden force. I ran and ran until I have to stop. I'm in front of 24-hour shop, inside is a man with blonde hair. My heart leaps, I looked again, the man doesn't look even remotely like Draco. My stomach dropped. I walked through the wood. There was a sparkling lake in the middle. I dive in, the cold water gave me pins and needles. Finally I drag myself out. I thought about the man in the shop. An incident like that happened nearly every day, I still feel my heart leap every time I see a flash of green eyes, a glimpse of long red hair or someone's pale hand.

I' shivering, I start to walk, I walk rather aimlessly through the trees. I feel myself getting weaker by the moment, the air is getting colder, and my body's getting numb. Eventually I collapse, the last thing I see before I close my eyes is the moon, it's almost red, whenever I look at the moon, and I remember their faces. Then everything goes black.