"I'm hungry."
Jono sighed inwardly. He and Paige had been walking for just over an hour to no avail, and all he had heard most of the way was Paige's complaining about being hungry. Never mind the fact that she had already eaten dinner. Paige was one of those people, Jono realized with a huff, one of those who was always hungry and constantly ate to satisfy that hunger, and yet never gained a pound.
*Yes, luv, you've told me. Several times,* Jono amended, rolling his eyes as Paige stooped to her knees and began pulling at a berry bush. *Paige? Wot're you doin'? You can't eat those!*
"Why not?"
*They might be poisoned!*
"Oh, they are not," Paige countered a bit snidely, irritated due to her growling stomach. She picked a handful of the bright red berries from the bush and popped one into her mouth. "See, I used to spend a lotta time in the woods back home."
*There are woods on a farm?*
"Around the farm. Used to get hungry while I was out there an' look for food."
*Didn't involve killin' wildlife, did it?* Paige's eyes narrowed and she turned to walk away. *I was only jokin', Sunshine.*
"Well, no, it didn't. I also learned how to pick out the good berries from the bad ones."
*I 'ope you know wot yer doin'. I saw this episode o' Daria once where they went campin' an'-*
"And ate the sparkle berries, yeah, I saw it. I'm not gonna go crazy, Jono. Don't worry."
Jono stared uneasily at Paige, shook his head, and started trudging through the deepening snow. As Paige swallowed the handful of berries and immediately started complaining about being hungry again, he found himself suddenly wondering why he hadn't gone with Angelo.
******
"Fifty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-eight bottles of beer, invite Wolverine and give one to me, forty-six bottles of beer on the wall."
Angelo sang quietly to himself if for no other reason than to try to maintain some hold on sanity. He had found a road. A road that, to him, seemed pretty well abandoned. The few cars that did drive past only served to splash mud and slush onto him. By that point, he was caked in dirt and snow and God knew what else. He imagined if there was any possible way he could have gotten uglier, he managed it in the short thirty minutes or so he had spent along roadside.
For the life of him, he couldn't imagine why no one would even stop to tell him where he was. He was only a shady looking character covered in grime and standing at the edge of the woods with a pissed off expression on his face.
He frowned as he realized exactly why he hadn't gotten a response yet.
Headlights shone in the distance, but he wasn't given a chance to make another attempt. Something rustled in the nearby bushes and he caught movement from the corner of his left eye. Something brown flashed quickly, and everything he'd ever known about woodland survival kicked in. Given that he was a not-yet-eighteen year old L.A. native, he came to the only conclusion that he could - a bear was after him.
"Dios."
Not wishing to stay around to see if he was right in his assumption, he took off down the steep hill that led up to the road, tripped over an untied shoelace, and rolled gracelessly to the bottom. Any thought he may have had to use his powers to stop himself was lost in his terror. He was fleeing from a bear. He thought these things only happened in movies.
Maybe he was in a movie. He'd always wondered about his life . . .
Don't think, he told himself. Just run. Run, baby, run.
Whatever had been at roadside had apparently been spooked by the sudden movement, confused to the point it ran, too. Unfortunately, it had been confused enough to take off after Angelo.
"Dios, I'm sorry if I've done something wrong," Angelo whimpered, nearly stumbling again and smacking against a tree to keep from falling. He clutched onto the bark for dear life. "Don't let this thing eat me!"
Silence ensued. He was about to drop to his knees and start praying his thanks when twigs started snapping in quick succession, not muffled by the snow. Angelo choked back a scream and started running again.
"Oh, Dios, this isn't how I wanted t'go out!" He complained nearly five full minutes later, standing in what looked to be the middle of no where and paranoid that a gigantic bear was chasing after him. Something crunched behind him. He closed his eyes. "Hail Mary, full of grace ..."
The crunching came closer, and he wondered what kind of cruel irony it was that a member of a super-hero team would be chased to his death by some heartless wood-dwelling animal.
"Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our dea-oof!"
He was pummeled forward into the snow, mouth filling so that he had no chance to scream. Oh, Dios, I'm gonna get smothered in the snow and eaten by a bear. I'm gonna get eaten by a bear. I'm not supposed to die like this!
"I got Big Foot!"
*Paige, you've lost it! You ate the sparkle berries, I knew it!*
Angelo tried to pull his head out of the snow. He'd been pretty sure he heard Paige's voice, but there was no mistaking Jono's telepathic accent. Paige only pushed him deeper into the snow bank.
"I finally got Big Foot! Y'know, I used to go camping when I lived on the farm an' Sam used to try to scare us by tellin' us stories about Big Foot. I could sell this thing to the National Enquirer and become a millionaire!" She went on excitedly, giving a slight squeal when Jono grabbed her wrists and pulled her forcefully up off the form beneath her. She gasped when said form rolled over onto his back, groaning the entire way. "Angelo?"
"Ow."
"I thought you were Big Foot," she half-apologized, seeming more than a little disheartened by this new revelation. "And weren't you supposed to be finding a way outta here?"
"I did, and then something attacked me. It was huge and brown and bear-like and..." He trailed off just as he heard more twigs cracking, then squeaked faintly as he backed further into the snow. "There, there! I hear it!" He pointed wildly behind both his friends. "It's gonna eat me! The thing has me targeted, I swear!"
Paige turned to see what had scared his friend so, nearly bursting into laughter when she saw a deer staring back at her with a bewildered look on its face. "Hate to tell you this, Ange, but I think you've made a new friend."
Angelo pried his eyes open and looked back at the deer. "Well, it could be a mutant deer. You know, shoot optic rays out its eyes or somethin'."
"Do you really think deer and bears sound alike when they're running through the woods?"
Angelo's eyes narrowed. "Do you really think I look like Big Foot?" He turned those same irritated eyes to Jono. "Don't you start. I didn't hear you trying to tell me it wasn't a deer."
*Sorry, mate. I grew up in London. We don't get many deer or bears there.*
"I'm still hungry."
*Oh for . . . Paige, with the munchies you've 'ad tonight, I'm beginning t'think yer a pothead,* Jono noted with a partially serious tone, helping Angelo to his feet and pointing him in the general direction where they had been headed. *Now let's get movin'.*
"Who died and made you the boy scout troop leader?" Angelo asked irritably as he plucked bits of snow and mud from his hair. Jono stared levelly at him.
*Yer a walkin' paranoid that probably thinks the squirrels are plotting against him, and Paige is goin' nuts 'cause o' the berries I told 'er not to eat earlier. I think that makes me the most qualified. Now walk.*
And so they walked. And walked. And walked. It may have been half an hour or half a day later, they couldn't tell, but either way they eventually saw the edge of the woods and started into a weary race for the clearing. None in the trio believed what they saw when they got there.
*Now wot are the bloody odds in this?*
There they stood, just outside the treeline, looking at the campus of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Angelo nearly broke down in relief.
"I've never been so happy to see this place."
"I have dibs on the kitchen!"
*I'm just gonna 'ang meself from one o' the beams in the basement. Don't mind me.*
Regardless of their miscellaneous hopes, nothing seemed out of place when they walked through the front door. Everett and Jubilee were playing Monopoly with Monet, who seemed to be growing increasingly frustrated with Everett's previously hidden business-like nature. Leech and Artie both sat on the floor in front of the couch, a wide array of coloring books surrounding them. As soon as they heard the door open, they bounded to their feet and raced to greet their friends.
"Leech color Angelo picture!" Leech announced happily, showing the picture he had torn from one of his books. Angelo offered a tired but sincere smile.
"Gracias." He unfolded the paper, only to have his eyes widen and his hands start shaking. "They're out to get me, too!"
He stumbled back a step, blinked in a dazed manner, then started blindly up the stairs leading to the boys' dorm. Leech seemed mildly hurt as he picked up his picture and looked to Jono.
"Angelo didn't like?"
*Angelo 'ad a bad night, buddy,* Jono explained, taking the picture to see for himself what had scared his friend.
There, colored in all its brilliant detail, were two deer and a bear, standing side by side as if they had always been best friends.
The corners of Jono's eyes crinkled. *I like it, Leech. I like it so much, I'm gonna go find a frame for it an' put it up on Angelo's ceiling so it can be the first thing 'e sees when 'e wakes up.*
Leech gave an impish grin while Artie projected an image of a smiley face to show he was pleased with the idea. They both ran back to the mess in the floor to start coloring again.
Jono left in search of a frame.
