Only the Lonely

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters Yada yada yada. If you think they are my creation more power to ya, but they aren't. Don't sue. Think if it as an homage.

            For lack of a better title I present to you

Only the Lonely

 By Scribbler Quincy007.

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            "Duo!" Hilde gasped, "You're insatiable."

            "Heh-heh-heh. You like that don't ya?"

            "Oh, god. Sometimes I wish you would mature a little."

            "Define Mature." Duo sat up. He was looking around the room for his boxers, how did they end up on the other side of the room?

            "Well, for starters, you could spend a little more time in afterglow. After all, all you're doing is going across the hall. Next, you could take our conversations about settling down more seriously. And…"

            "Whoa! Let me take this one step at a time! Who said I was leaving? I just wanted my underwear. I can't sleep nekked."

            "What about last week?"

            Duo blushed, "Well, uh ya see I was a little more satiable then."

            "Is that even a word?

            "I figured insatiable was a prefix/word thing. Hold on I'll get a dictionary."

            Duo left the room not bothering to get his shorts. "I can't believe him sometimes."

            He rushed back in. He slammed the door. "We have guests. They let themselves in using a key SOMEONE gave them." He looked accusingly.

            "Its not my fault you walked out there naked. Who is it?"

            "Trowa, and his girlfriend. I forget her name."

            "Laura."

            "Yea."

            Duo looked silly being so embarrassed and nervous. He hopped into his boxers and grabbed a white t-shirt. He looked in the mirror at his braid. The band at the bottom came off so he had no choice but to let his hair out. "Good god, I look like a woman."

            "Get out there before they think something is up."

            "I'm sure I could manage to get something up…"

            "Get out. I'm taking a shower." She smiled.

            Duo smiled as he walked into the living room. Trowa had pulled out a book and had begun reading. Laura? Yea. Laura was looking at a photo album.

            "Hello? I'm glad to see you made yourselves at home."

            "Well we waited outside for Fifteen minutes before we used the key. By the way, I didn't know you had more nicknames than God of Death."

            "You heard that?"

            "Oops." Trowa smiled mischievously

            "Ugh. I'm getting something to drink, do my esteemed guests desire anything?"

            "Water, bottled if you have any."

            "Whatever you get is fine."

            "She's too trusting. I'll fix that yet."

            Trowa looked at Duo. "You are lucky I can't grab your braid right now."

            "Tee-hee!"

            Laura brushed some of her blond hair from her eyes. "Trowa? What did he mean?"

            "Ask what he put in it before you drink it."

            "That'll work." She doubted that Duo would tell her if he did something to her drink.

            "He may run and hide, but he never tells a lie. At least most of the time."

            Laura was puzzled, but she didn't understand any of Trowa's friends. "When was this picture taken?" she asks changing the subject.

            Trowa looked at the picture. All the pilots and their girls were sitting on Deathscythe. Trowa remembered the night they did that. That was a rush. Scaling the Gundams like a climbing wall. Duo won, it was his gundam after all he probably did that every day. What amazed everyone was that Relena was second. Duo insisted on pictures. He was big on memories. Duo never wanted to forget anything. "About a year ago."

            "Really? Who were you with? The pretty blond?" She pointed

            "Dorothy? No I was the bachelor then."

            "But, there is an even number of people…"

            "Its no big deal. Just never mind it okay?"

            She frowned, "I guess…" Why did he dodge the subject like that? It wasn't like him.

            Hilde walked in, her hair wet, Trowa wanted to prod her too. Duo was much easier to get funny reactions from, but Hilde was just as good. "Hilde? How can you not laugh when…"

            "Finish that sentence and I'll mix something in your drink." Duo said as he walked back in holding several cups and glasses, "Hey babe. I got you something too."

            "Thanks Du'."

            "Evian for the Water snob and Ovaltine for the lovely lady."

            "What? I'm not lovely?"

            "No, babe. You dead sexy." He raised his eyebrows.

            Trowa looked up again as he was checking the seal on the bottle. "Do you two ever stop?"

            Hilde smiled, "No. But we like it like that."

            "What is that?" Trowa asked Duo, gazing at a fizzing orange substance in an overly large mug. On the side it was written: Love me, love my Gundam.

            "Virgin Screwdriver."

            "Huh?"

            "Sprite and orange juice."

            "Oh."

            Hilde took a long drag from her cup While Trowa wondered what was in it, she asked  "Trowa do you drink anything besides water?"

            "Coffee, Milk, and Water."

            Duo looked at him, "You do realize that she asked, except water. That by extension leaves water off the list."

            "I like water." Trowa said as he leaned back and sipped his water.

            Duo had gotten back up. "I'm getting a snack, want something?"

            "Twinkie." Hilde said

            "Apple would be fine. Aren't you playing the nice host?"

            Laura thought, "I'll take a Twinkie too."

            "Cool." He wandered off to the kitchen.

            Trowa watched him go. "What's up with him?"

            "He is probably still embarrassed over his whole situation. It wasn't exactly nice ribbing him about it. He is sensitive about… I'll stop before I dig our grave deeper."

            Laura asked a question tired of being left out of the conversation. "Trowa? Are you all right? You are being kind of chatty…"

            "I'm fine. I just wanted to now what's up with Duo and give him a hard time about it."

            Laura frowned, but didn't say anything. It wasn't like Trowa to be so easy going. Trowa was a little odd around Duo. He talked more, a little bit more sharp witted. She certainly hoped there wasn't anything between them.

            Duo waltzed back in, his hands full again. He gave the Twinkie's to Hilde and Laura, an orange to Trowa and a little fruit pie, to himself.

            "Maxwell, This is not an apple."

            "We were out. No big difference right?"

            They stared Hilde started, "Apples, Oranges. Think about what you just said."

            "Oh. Sorry. I can take it back if you like…" He impersonated a snobby waiter with a bad French accent.

            "I'll cope."

            "So what brings you to our end of town?"

            "I wanted to play cards, but No one at the circus will play with me. I'm too good at poker it would seem." His face was straight and serious

            Duo laughed at the thought, Trowa's emotionless face and a hand of cards. "Sure Um, I'll call around see if anyone else is available.

            "Trowa!" Laura whined.

            "Right, right. Actually, we *cough* were wondering what you do for fun in this town on a night like this." His voice was that of the Trowa known to everyone else, no emotion, somewhat boring, and it strongly suggested he wanted to play cards. And the 'we' was she.

            "There is the theater, Movies, Mall (shudder), Some of them restaurants where they do the cutting up in front of you. I seem to find that Pizza Hut and HBO are the best things to so on a night like this."

            "Duo! Stop giving them a load of crap. The Theater has several plays going that could be interesting. And I've needed an excuse to get this lazy boy from HBO and Pizza Hut."

            "Well, I think its true." Duo muttered.

            "If you want we could take you out and look around."

            Trowa looked up at Duo and mouthed women Duo knew exactly what he meant. "Alright then ladies, a night out is a night out, and I need a shower. Be back real quick.

            "He is always reluctant, but once he decides to do something, he'll see it through. An admirable trait, yes?" Hilde added as he walked off.

            Trowa looked up from the book he was trying to get into, "Yes. It is. Determination is always an admirable trait."

            "I don't know so much, it makes the person harder to control." Laura said, becoming interested.

            Hilde sighed, "If he needs to be controlled what's the point? I wouldn't drag Duo somewhere against his will. For the most part. He isn't very agreeable when I do drag him along."

            "I don't know…"

            "Hilde! Where's my Shampoo?"

            "Just like a child I swear." Hilde muttered off to help her boyfriend.

            Trowa looked at the empty space with disdain. Crap. Now I might actually have to talk to her. Next time I'll tell Cathy "No. I am not interested in blind dates." His thoughts dove deeper Especially when they turn into weird relationships…

            "So Trowa, what's up with you and Deuce?"

            "Duo, and nothing. We found a connection we never realized was there. I won't admit to him, but I find him pleasing enough company.

            Laura was shocked silent. She was thinking about what the words he said meant. Did he have some 'thing' with Duo? She doubted, but why else would he be so cold to her, and not to others.

            They heard some shouting from across the hall. "OW! That hurt!"

            "If you wouldn't move so much I wouldn't have to kick you!"

            Trowa sighed, and he checked his watch. 6:00 "I better help them or we'll be here all night."

            "Good idea." Laura proceeded to dig through the photo album.

            He knocked on the closed door. Then he opened it. The knock was just giving them warning. "Duo what are…you…do-"

            "What?" Duo was pulling up some dress pants as Hilde was fighting with his half wet hair.

            "Honestly Duo. What is the point of putting on pants with your hair that wet?"

            "I dunno. I figured two things at once."

            "Impede the process and get kicked by Hilde? Good work."

            "Whatever." He muttered. God, Trowa was being smart-ass.

            "Can I help speed this up?"

            "You could get my shirt from the closet."

            "…"

            He walked over to a closet door. Inside was what anyone who didn't know Duo wouldn't expect. Toys. Puzzles. Guns? Hoo-boy. Duo had issues.

            "Where?"

            "Behind my action figures."

            "…" He moved a case of toys to several nice dress shirts. "Duo, This is my shirt." He pointed to one of the green ones."

            "So take it back."

            He did take the shirt. He handed Duo a pastel shirt. "From the Quatre line? You must be joking!"

            Trowa sighed that sigh that Hilde did a lot. "My fault. I should have been more specific." Duo apologized.

            His braid was done by the time he found a shirt that wasn't Quatre's or his. Duo looked okay in Heero's shirt and pants. Trowa wondered when he got them.

            "Do you own any of your own dress clothing?"

            "Right now my clothes are waiting to come back in style."

            "And you live with him?"

            "I know, I know."

            *

            In the end they decided on a play. Trowa thought it was a mistake to let Duo pick it. However Hilde trusted his judgment. When he took them to a high school, Trowa got worried again. "Duo?"

            "This school always puts out good plays. I should know. I saw every one."

            Laura seemed to hold his opinion, "Are you sure? I mean these are just teenagers…"

            "Lady, I'm practically still a teenager. This is even better than actors, because they don't get paid. They do it because they love the art."

            I wonder if Duo is deeper than to first look at. Trowa pondered as Duo locked up his truck. The vanity plate Dthsyth was a nice touch. 

            They walked into the lobby. It wasn't a shabby high school, just under funded. After they had gotten tickets and programs. Duo let the three of them find their seats. He wandered off to talk to some people.

            "He seems to like being here." Laura commented.

            "He loves it here. When we were still trying to get our shop on its feet he worked nights here. Good people. Now he does volunteer stuff for them all the time, like those lights up there? He did that. For free."

            "Yea, and if you tell anyone I'll hurt you. I have an image to maintain." Duo said as he sat down.

            Trowa smiled, "Wufie already doesn't respect you, Quatre would think that that is a great thing to be doing, and Heero wouldn't care."

            "Sure he did, he helped me with the lights over there."

            "That old softy. He always did like you didn't he?"

            "We were friends, favors and such."

            Hilde interrupted them, "Hey, it's starting."

            Trowa watched with interest. Very rarely did he enjoy the theater, but Duo was right. They really did a good job. His mind wandered a bit in the first act. Pondering and such. Duo never seemed like the charitable type, but then he never really had a formal education, none of the pilots did except, Quatre and Wufie, Because of their training and well you learned fast in Mercenary groups. So maybe it was Duo reaching for a spot of his childhood he never had. He glanced at him, watching with interest, or maybe he just likes the school. Trowa noticed his 'date' was asleep. Wonderful. He nudged her awake.

            It was late before they got back. Duo insisted on dinner too. It must be a skill, his ability to pick entertainment and eateries. For a hamburger joint, they made good food. "Grease covered Gut-bombs" as Duo so eloquently put it. Laura had a salad. Hoo-boy.

            "If you guys want to crash here you can use my room-uh maybe Hilde's room. Mine is kind of a mess. I'll use the couch."

            "Uh-Duo…" Laura began."

            Trowa looked at Duo, shook his head no. Duo had to think about it. Oh! They weren't that close yet.

            Hilde saved the day, "Trowa couch, Laura my room, I'll use Duo's and he can sleep on the floor."

            "Gee, thanks. I'll use the Lazy boy."

            In five minutes Duo had everything set up. They all said good night, And Trowa realized he was sleeping five feet from Duo. Time to pump him for info. "Duo? You still in the land of the wake?"

            "Yea."

            "Why didn't you and Hilde share a bed?"

            "Well, I'm trying to make a relationship here based off more than great repertoire and terrific sex."

            He said nothing. With people like Duo, they will talk to fill dead air, "I mean I just don't trust myself to stay away from her for a whole night."

            Trowa chuckled. That was funny. "You gonna marry her some day?"

            "Yea. I will. When I'm ready. I bet she could have us wed within the month and it would be perfect she has wanted us to do that so bad. I'm just not ready for that."

            "Huh."

            "What about you? I've noticed you seem more chatty than usual. The lovely lady bring that out?"

            "Sort of. She likes the strong silent type. After all that was how Cathy described me."

            "So you are being chatty because…you are trying to dissuade her from seeing you again?"

            "She is a nice enough person, but I can't see myself living with her."

            Duo leaned back into the chair. "I get ya'. G'night Tro."

            "wa. Trowa. Try it."

            He was already gone. Hoo-boy. Trowa laid in silence for a while. He wanted to do something real introspective, find out what he is looking for, but he fell asleep to dreams of fighting in Heavyarms.

            He smelled bacon. Real bacon, not that cheap healthy crap. And what seemed to be maple syrup. He opened his eyes. The ceiling was an off white. Smooth though. Nice paint job. His neck hurt. He reached under the pillow he was using. A Rubik's cube. He played with it as he got off the couch. He walked to the dining room. He set the finished puzzle down on the table. Duo stared, "I've had that thing for years, and not once have I ever gotten close to doing that." He eyed the cube

            "Oh well. Did you cook?"

            "Yes. And if you don't like my choice of food, there is frosted flakes in the cupboard."

            "Ah, Yes. Frosted Flakes, The old warrior's breakfast."

             They were done with their breakfast when Hilde walked in Laura followed looking tired. Hilde smiled at Duo "At least he cooks."

            "That's why I'm still here." Duo alluded to his usefulness.

            "When did you all get up?" Laura asked with a yawn.

            "About a half hour ago."

            Duo smiled, "I would have woken him up at 6:00, but then you never know what he might have done to me."

            About two hours later Trowa and His girlfriend were off on the road. Duo looked at the mess he had left in the kitchen. "I made it, I clean it up."

            "You could ask for help." Hilde said as she put her arms around his waist.

            "Aw, where is the fun in that? I wanted to guilt you into doing it for me."

            "You wish."

            "I can do really good puppy eyes."

*

            "Trowa, I don't think this is working out."

            "What?" He added some shock in his voice, "Is it me?"

            "Yea, mostly."

            "I guess that's okay I'm not exactly what Cathy described me as."

            "Well. I'm sure we could be friends or something."

            "Yea, or something." He sounded hurt.

            "'Kay, cool bye."

            She hung up the phone. Trowa wasn't surprised. She had no tact. Oh well disaster was averted. Now to find some water, God he talked too much this past month.

            Catherine Bloom looked at him as he walked into the trailer. "Trowa, What did Laura have to say?"

            "We broke up." He found some water, behind the Milk.

            "I noticed you were talkative this month, did that have anything to do with it?"

            "Yes."

            "Oh, boy. You heard she likes the quiet type didn't you?"

            "Yes."

            She slapped her forehead. "Why didn't you say anything?"

            "I didn't want to."

            "Be careful. I still get to throw knives at you tonight."

            It wasn't a question, so he didn't answer. Maybe now he could get all introspective on himself.

*Jumping ahead several hours…

            The knives hit the wood, not him, like usual. However, they were rather close. If she wasn't careful he could get hit again. A not exactly pleasant experience, mind you. All he wanted was to get this last show over and disappear for a few days. They were moving to another city soon, and would thus be on the road for several days. The best time to disappear.

            "And now Ladies and gentlemen the most dangerous part, the five knife throw!"

            The audience cheered as Catherine picked up five shining knives. Holding them by their tips she paused for a dramatic moment, before hurling all Five at once. He heard the correct thwack noise four times. He felt the slight burn as blood rolled out of his arm. Nothing serious. He pulled the knife out. Spun it on his fingertip and tossed it back to Catherine. The audience was dead silent. She threw the knife again. It landed under his arm. Were it was supposed to go.

            After the show, Catherine was apologizing. "I'm sorry Trowa. I didn't mean to you know that…"

            "Its okay Catherine. I'm fine. I know you didn't do it on purpose. I forgive you."

            He smiled as he walked out the back.

            "What a strange brother." She shook her head.

*

            The Gundam Hanger was not far from where he was. It was at the most a five-minute drive. The hanger was not in the best condition anymore. Now that no one took care of the Gundams, the hanger was falling apart. Sad really. He saw the door had recently been opened. The rust was in chips on the floor.

            He pulled a gun he forgot he had. Old instincts came back. He slipped into the shadows. The large arena shaped chamber were the Gundams were stored was brightly lit. Trowa wasn't sure whether to announce his presence or to hide a little longer. He chose the former.

            "Show yourself."

            He heard a small scream from Wing Zero. Still as good as the day Duo finished repairing it. It was the angel of the group. Gundanium doesn't corrode so no work is needed if they are just on display. And no air gets to the internal parts.

            "Trowa?"

            He sighed. It was Relena. But what was she doing here?

            He walked to the massive suit. There sat Relena Peacecraft. She was sitting on the open hatch. She looked depressed. "You shouldn't be here. It's not safe. This building is falling apart.

            "I'm fine."

            "Heero wouldn't want you here."

            She glared at him, "That doesn't really matter anymore does it?"

            "…Sorry." He knew she was still in pain over that whole fiasco.

            "No, you're right. Its just I wanted to see his Gundam."

            "Zero? Why?"

            "It reminds me of him I guess."

            Now it was his turn to glare. "Stop lying."

            "I heard from Milliardo that the Zero system carries around parts of its pilot's brain with it. That's why the Gundam and the pilot work so well together. I just wanted…"

            "To see what he was thinking about last?"

            "Yea." Her voice started to crack. How emotional.

            "Don't do that." He pleaded. Trowa hated it when girls cried. It made him feel bad. He put an arm on her shoulder. "I can turn it on."

            "Thanks."

            Trowa climbed into the seat. He pulled it back Heero was shorter than he was.

            "Zero?"

            Yes, Trowa? It was odd it knew his name.

            "What should I ask for?"

            Relena thought, "Tell it to give all the info on Heero from his last mission."

            "Give me what Heero was thinking on last mission to date."

            Compiling.

            Trowa relaxed. Maybe he should give the chair to Relena.

            Displaying.

            The rush of Images was a lot to process. He grabbed parts of a moment when he saved Relena from those terrorist attackers, another of when Duo had painted his Gundam black. He started to get Feelings: Rage, hate, sorrow, kindness, love, and companionship. He felt Heero's emotions in a split second. He read Heero's thoughts as he lunged into battles. Worries, Promises broken, and the desire not to fight. He saw the world from Heero's eyes. As he got used to the rush the pictures slowed down. He saw the infamous life flash: Relena, Doctor J, Relena, Duo and himself, Quatre, Wufie. Zechs and him fighting. The Gundams, Relena, Noin, The war, Buying a ring, which never got to someone's hand, Relena, Duo and him doing stuff together, The time he worked at the circus for a month or two, Relena, Him and Wufie fighting in their Gundams, Zero giving a view of his future. He heard a loud bang, and then nothing. His eyes went blank. The system had disengaged.

            He was laying back in the chair, Relena mere inches from his face, she looked worried, "Trowa? Don't do this!"

            "Relena…" he sounded very Heero like. He still had a high off the emotions forced through his brain. He reached forward and kissed Relena. She was surprised, but didn't pull away. After a minute he stopped. He was calmer. "Relena, I…I don't know…Sorry."

            "Don't be sorry, you aren't that bad a kisser." It was a poor joke, but it worked, "I didn't want that to happen I didn't know…"           

            "Its okay. The emotions the visions, I was almost completely shocked."

            "I was worried when you stopped breathing."

            "What?!"

            "You stopped breathing. I was worried what had happened then you woke up. You were in there for an hour. I was really worried."

            "Yea. God, I'm tired." He fell asleep right there. He dreamt of Heavyarms and Relena. Which was odd.

*

            "Trowa, could you go into town and pick up some equipment?" The ringmaster asked, he was tired of pawning the jobs off on people, but hired hands were hard to find.

            "Mission Accepted."

            Catherine looked at Trowa as he walked off. "What was that all about?"

            The list was short, but it had at least an hour's worth of red tape. "I really wish Weapons weren't so hard to get." He muttered as he walked into the Special permits office.

            It was a slow day. He got the keg of gunpowder, after an enormous amount of paperwork. The knives and swords weren't that hard, but he was really frustrated with bureaucrats. When he got back to the circus he was almost run over by someone, "I'll kill you." He muttered.

            Catherine saw this and was worried. Like any good sister would she asked around to see if anyone else had noticed anything. Everybody noticed he was colder than usual. He carried himself differently. And some of the animals didn't like him as much. She called Quatre to see ask him about it, "Has he been strange last time you saw him?"

            "No. Not really, still same old non-talkative Trowa."

            Trowa was not happy. He was now working on the trapeze column He knew he hadn't done anything bad to warrant grunt duty; it was just that workers were hard to find. So he was all over the circus, he barely had time practice with Cathy.

            Making his day even better, he fell. Could have happened to anyone they say, but he figured the world was out to get him today. As he fell he grabbed onto the rope that steadied the column. He slowed down enough to not die, but he would still hit the ground hard. He was right. The ground was hard. His leg broke. "…"

            "Oh, God! Trowa!" Catherine screamed as he hit the ground.

            "…" He didn't say anything. Not even ow. Not that it was odd, just different. He just rolled onto his back. He was grabbing at his leg, trying to find the break.

"Trowa hold on, we are getting the doctor."

He looked puzzled. Why he wondered. He set his leg into place with a crack. Again no scream, but he was in pain.

"Trowa!"

"I still need to finish the job."

"Don't worry about that!"

*

            Trowa's leg was healed in a few days, thanks to the miracles of modern science. He didn't give any explanation for why he set his own leg. He just did it. Since he still had a day or two off he went on a little trip. He didn't tell anyone where….

            The Sanc kingdom was a beautiful place. The Weather was fair, the scenery exquisite, and a rich history. Trowa was big on history. If you study the mistakes of the past, then you are not doomed to repeat them. However he wasn't here on a historical outing, in fact he wondered, why he came here at all. The answer was obvious to parts of him while he remained mostly unaware. So late at night when he was staring at her from her balcony he felt very little guilt. As he checked the doors he smiled, knowing that the people around here were far to trusting. He sat down on a chair in the room. And looked at her, Relena Peacecraft.

            She stirred, perhaps from being watched, or maybe she was a light sleeper. "Heero?" She knew immediately she was wrong, but who else would watch her sleep?

            "No. Trowa"

            "Why are you here?" She held her knees close to her chest, nervously.

            "I had a few days of vacation left, so I went on a trip. I came here. I don't know why."

            "Do you think it had to do with…"

            "Zero? Yes. I've changed. I liked who I was, but not whom I'm becoming."

            "Can we stop it?"

            "We can ask your brother. He might know."

            "Yea." She fell silent

            "What's wrong?" He was concerned, she could tell.

            "This is my fault. You wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't gotten that idea…"

            "Hey, don't be like that. C'mon. Chin up. This could have happened to any of us who tried the same thing. Better me anyway. Duo would have gone insane, and Quatre couldn't do well with Heero's thoughts. I'm already the quiet type."

            "Heh. You are just trying to cheer me up. To make me feel better."

            "Yea, pretty much. And this is me talking when I tell you that I can understand why he loved you."

            "Thanks."

            "I should go. I need to get home."

            "Can you leave in the morning? I'd appreciate it."

            "…" He nodded.

            She went to sleep an hour later. He felt that he could leave then, but he told himself to stay, because he said he would. "Now, I can't bring myself to hurt you."

            He sat in silence. Staying awake. His record was three days before he became incoherent.

            At seven in the morning, Trowa finally stood up. "I have to go."

            She tossed around in her bed, still asleep. The door picked now to open. "Miss Peacecraft?" and her butler walked in.

            "Trowa?" She mumbled, before realizing the situation. She looked around the room, the balcony doors were closed, and she didn't see him anywhere. Relena glanced around some more before spotting him clinging to the open door with his feet propped against the wall. "Oh, I'm up now Pagan."

            "Of, course. Shall I get Mr. Barton on the phone?"

            "Huh? Oh, no its okay."

            She got up and Trowa slid out the door quiet as a mouse.

            The hall was not unfamiliar to Trowa. He and the rest of the pilots had been here many times, collecting Heero, or Zechs. He walked down the stairs to use the kitchen exit. And right into Lucretzia Noin-Peacecraft. Everybody still called her Noin.

            Thinking quickly he changed his demeanor and pushed back his bangs, "I'm sorry Mrs. Peacecraft. My blunder. Do you need help?"

"No…I'm fine." She was confused that this butler wasn't in a suit, maybe he was off today, and why did he call her Mrs. Peacecraft, nobody did that. She pulled her pistol,       "Who are you? Nobody in this house calls me Mrs. Peacecraft."

            "Crap."

            He ran off fast. Noin almost fired, but decided against it. She would check the security tapes. He sounded familiar. "I better check on Relena."

            "No, Noin. I'm fine. Why do you ask?" she asked innocently.

            "I ran into a man who pretended to be member off the staff. When I confronted him he ran off."

            "Did you hurt him?" Relena sounded worried.

            "No."

            She sighed. Relief? Her room tapes will be first Noin decided. She walked to the security room. It was intact; thank the world for small favors. As she watched the tapes she saw a familiar figure stand over Relena and sneak out.

            She picked up a phone. Dialing a number, she spoke quickly, "Get me the current location of Trowa Barton. Yes, the pilot."

*

            The home stretch he thought as he sat back in his Coach class seating. He relaxed and he let his mind wander. He saw fights through Heero's eyes. He saw where Heero had put some of his personal items. He would have to pick those up. "Mr. Barton. What a surprise."

            His eyes snapped open. He saw Noin sitting in seat next to him. "What happened to the guy sitting next to me?"

            "I traded my first class spot for this seat."

            "God, you could have invited me up there."

            "Why were you in Sanc?"

            "I don't remember. I remember leaving, and being there, as to why ask Heero."

            "He's dead, you jerk."

            "Only parts. Zero actually has the more interesting parts of his personality in cold storage." He sneered. He reclined his seat and closed his eyes.

            "We aren't done yet."

            "Yes. We are."

            "Why were you in Relena's room?"

            "Watching her sleep. We also had a brief conversation."

            "About?"

            "It was personal."

            "You ran out of there like a bat outta hell. Give me some answers."

            "Ask Relena."

            "Don't make me cause a scene."

            He opened his eyes. They weren't his usual Green. They were a cold dark green. She had seen that look in Heero's eyes. His death stare. "What happened to you?" she whispered.

            "Watch the movie. You'll feel better. I'm going to sleep."

*

            Zechs, Duo and Quatre were listening to Noin's tale. Relena hadn't said anything, but Noin hadn't asked yet. "So then he gives me Heero's death glare. He had it down. I was scared."

            "Trowa? Not Trowa." Duo said, "He has been more talkative since the incident."

            "I know, but he hasn't called me in a while." Quatre added.

            "Why am I here?" Zechs asked.

            "He said the Zero system had the more interesting parts of Heero's personality in cold storage. What did he mean?"

            "The Zero system computer copies parts of the user's brain, for faster timing, it can also be a security feature."

            "So…what did he mean?"

            "I don't know."

            "He means he got screwed." Relena added from across the room. She had walked in wearing jeans and a green tank top. "He was doing me a favor and something happened. He absorbed some of Heero." She almost cried.

            "No. I mean is that possible?" Duo asked

            "Why else would he be acting like that?" Noin added.

            Duo snorted, "I won't even fathom why Trowa does the things he does. It would be my sick guess, he wanted to get closer to Relena."

            "That is sick."

            Quatre snorted also, "He isn't like you Duo, feeding off of other people's pain, we should check out Zero."

            Duo shut his mouth obviously offended, while Noin talked, "I tried the Bunker. The Gundams are still there. We should try to do something."

*

            "Trowa, this is for your own good."

            "No! Catherine, I don't need a psychologist!"

            "Something is wrong with you!"

            "I know! I can't be helped by some head doctor!"

            "But…"

            "Sorry, Cathy. I didn't mean to snap like that. It's my problem. I need to help it. I'll disappear for a while; I won't comeback till this is done. Okay?"

            "But what if something happens?"

            "I promise. I will solve this and come back."

            He left through the door. Catherine sat down and cried. Her brother was in trouble and she couldn't help. What could she do then?

            Wing Zero was still as angelic as the day Trowa saw it last. It had more personality now that he saw it with Heero's view.

            "Trowa!"

            "Quatre?"

            The blond pilot was standing behind him. He turned to face him he said, "Trowa, what's wrong?"

            "I don't know. I have a slew of feelings and emotions that aren't mine. I know that I should get rid of them, but I don't want some to go."

            "Why would you not want to get rid of them?"

            He sat down. He looked at his hands for a while, "He had something. Someone loved him, and he loved her back. It was sweet, and it felt good. I've never felt that way about anyone. Its something you would never want to give up."

            "I know." Quatre thought about the time when he was in love, God that was painful. "But what about Catherine?"

            "She's my sister, it doesn't count. I always thought I was missing something. I think this was it. But I don't want Heero's emotions, its too leachy."

            "So are you going to come along with me? We have a plan."

            "…" He stood up, and looked at Quatre.

            "Right."

            "Trowa? Are you all right?" Duo asked

            "I'm not in fine mental health, but Quatre didn't have to use the baton he has in his pocket."

            They all looked at him. He felt obligated to perform a demonstration. He pulled out a small round tube, pushed a button. It clicked as the tube snapped into a small steel baton about three feet long. "What?"

            "Nothing. Nothing at all." Duo smiled as he watched Quatre put it away.

            "Ack-hm."

            They all looked at Trowa. He tapped his head. Zechs shrugged, "Well, I have a theory. It's not much, but with Quatre's help we might make something."

            "I don't want to hear the science. Just make it work. If you don't need me, I am going to visit Heavyarms."

            He spun on his heels. Relena asked, "Should we leave him alone?"

            "No. Go with him, or follow him I don't care." The four began to discuss plans for a device.

            He had flown other Mobile suits, but he always compared them to his Heavyarms. When he found out Heero had saved the Gundams from destruction, he was happy. He did love that chair. Real leather, a birthday present from Duo. The somber blue was soothing compared to the Red it used to be. Heero had replaced the switchblade with a beam saber. It could be mounted in place so he could use it like the blade. He could take it out too. "You really went out of your way for me that time Yuy." The Four gatling guns were in perfect condition. The vault for Heavyarms was Air tight with zero humidity, no rust formed here. The ammo was still good. I remember the smell of the black powder smoke, and the standing in the battlefield at the turn of a joke. Those were the days.

            "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit in it?" Relena asked from behind him.

            "Sit, but I haven't seen this old girl in a few years. I was just reminiscing."

            He opened the hatch and sat down in the seat. He loved the feel of the sticks in his hands; it reminded him of the days of using the suit. "I miss the fights." He admitted to the world's leading pacifist.

            "Warriors do. Its part of their charm."

            "Charm?"

            "Charisma, appeal, People wouldn't do it if there wasn't a positive, War Hero sounds good in a bar."

            "There is nothing so stupid or dangerous or painful that people won't eagerly do it, if by doing it they will make others believe that they are better or stronger or more honorable."

            "Wow. That is deep."

            "Yea. Not mine though. Orson Scott Card wrote that."

            "Really? That's still deep."

            "True." He turned on the monitors. The familiar hum of the fusion generator made him feel better. It took so much work to separate his ideas from Heero's. It didn't help he was talking to Heero's girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. No that wasn't right, but neither was widower. Oh that was complicated.

            "Trowa? Are you all right?"

            "I wish people would stop asking me that. I'm fine aside from my mental health."

            "Sorry it's just that I'm not used to being around people who don't talk. In the political arena, I have to fight to get my words in. Duo is the only one to ever call, I just feel awkward not saying anything and not listening to something stressful."

            "Here try this." He got out of the cockpit. "Get in."

            Slowly she got in, "It's not going to hurt you Relena. Its just hurts other people."

            She sat back in the chair; it felt like leather, "Is this…"

            "Leather? Yes. Birthday gift from Duo. Any way. Sit back and relax. Don't worry, I'm just reaching for a control panel." He stretched across her to a panel. He flipped a few switches. The lights died, leaving only glow of the instrument panels. He turned them off too. He flipped another switch and displayed the Night sky on the monitors. "Okay, open your eyes."

            "Oh, wow." She looked at the artificial sky. It was so beautiful. And quiet. When she relaxed it was enjoyable. "This is so cool."

            "I discovered this one time on a mission in that involved a lot of waiting. I turned off the lights to the cockpit and displayed the outside. The space was so quiet and awe inspiring I took a picture and put them up in the monitors. This always helps me relax."

            "They're beautiful, aren't they? The stars. I mean you never look at them the same after being in space, but they really are beautiful."

            "Yea. The only thing I've ever seen that was better than this was when I was floating in space after Quatre destroyed my Mobile suit. I couldn't remember much of anything, so I had a very fresh look on life, and I saw a Meteor shower passing through the solar system. They left a sparkling trail, and slowly disappeared in complete silence. I knew I would never forget that, no matter what I remember."

            "I can imagine."

            "I don't recommend my means of viewing it, but you should try to view something like that. Everyone views at least one sight that they will never forget. Some it's a beautiful face, but they are hopeless romantics. Others see items, they are material, then you have the people who see a view or a landscape, and they are the crazy ones."

            "Crazy ones?" She asked

            He smiled, "Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They aren't fond of rules, and have no respect for the status quo…" 

              "…You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."

            "That's sweet."

            "But it also means we are crazy. Can you handle that?"

            "If we are crazy what is Duo?"

            "A hopeless romantic."

            Relena giggled. He was a deep thinker, a quick wit too, if you could get him to talk. Quiet, yet supportive. He seemed kind of sensitive. She hoped she wasn't falling for him; one gundam pilot got her hurt…if she was she hoped it was Trowa and not Trowa with Heero's thoughts.

            "Do you do this often?"

            "Normally I'll watch from a open field, but Heavyarms works."

            "That's nice. Have you ever told anyone else?"

            "I tried this on Heero once. He put it a close second to…"

            "What?"

            "Let me just say, he was helpless romantic."

            "Oh." She turned her head away. She didn't want to look him in the eyes.

            "I shouldn't have said anything."

            "Its okay. I can't dodge this particular bullet forever."

            "…" Trowa reached into a backpack he pulled out a bottle of water. He swallowed some, then offered the bottle to Relena.

            "Thanks."

            They heard footsteps, Trowa looked up. It was Duo. His shoes made an odd sound on the catwalk. "Hey, Tro?"

            "In Heavyarms Duo."

            "Oh." He walked closer. "What's that on the display?"

            "A star field."

            "Oh. Wow." They sat there for several more minutes "When I stop to think about it that is the second most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

            "The first being…?"

            "Hilde."

            "She isn't here Duo. I don't think you need to kiss ass."

            "I'm not kidding. You're lucky I'm in such a good mood. I should have hit you for that."

            "You were right." Relena sounded surprised.

            "About what?"

            Trowa smiled, "You aren't crazy like us."

            "And why not?" He asked.

            "Later. I take it we are ready for a test trial?"

            "Yep."

            "You coming?" Trowa asked Relena.

            "I should, this is my fault."

            "I told you don't be like that. I'll get out of this okay and then you won't worry about the guilt trip."

            "Yea." She blushed, it sounded like he was doing it for her, and not to reduce his own problems.

            "Can you shut her down?"

            "I'll manage."

            "…"

            "Hey, lets go before Zechs gets suspicious." Duo added.

            Trowa walked with Duo who was not really intent on ribbing him, but more of a warning, "I don't think you want to tread there Trowa. Rebound and all. I know."

            "I don't think you do."

            "Trust me. You don't want to go there. It changed the H-man big-time."

            "For the better. He loved being with her. He would have married her if he got back."

            "You're kidding."

            "Not now, about this." They had continued in silence until they reached the other end of the hanger.

            Zechs glared suspiciously. "It was awfully dark over there."

            "And awfully bright over here. I wanted the contrast."

            "I bet…"

            "Don't think like that Marquise. I am not shallow or cold hearted enough to use a person like that."

            "…Sorry." He looked away.

            "What do I do?" He raised an eyebrow at the mess of wires and black boxes.

            "Just sit. We have this end taken care of."

            "I lied before, what are you doing to my head?"

            "Well…"Zechs trailed off.

            "Ya'see…"Quatre tried to start.

            "Its like…" Noin flopped.

            "We are copying your brain into this box, Zero sifts and we shove back in." Duo summarized.

            "Oh. Who built the contraption?"

            "Me." Duo added defensively.

            "Good." He sat down in the chair.

            "Aren't you scared?" Noin asked, a little nervous.

            "Always do what you are afraid to do."

"Ralph Waldo Emerson." Duo identified, He flipped the switch, having faith in God, and his soldering.

            It was different than having stuff go in. He felt a buzzing. His head hurt. He didn't feel much of anything, like Novocain was injected into his blood. He tried to concentrate on what he wanted to remember should this fail. It didn't work so well last time he lost his memory. Well beam rifle shots never strike twice in the same spot, wait. Heero did hit that energy shield in the same spot during the Endless Waltz situation.  Crap.

            It was too late for him to disengage now. He had faith in Duo and his deity of choice. He felt rushes of emotions, slow at first then simmering. He knew what was coming. He tried to relax. He began to see rushes of images.

*

            "How long has it been?"

            "Four hours."

            "I don't know…"

            "We can't disengage now." Duo added.

            "Holy shit! He stopped breathing!"

            "What?" Quatre and Relena said at once. Both ran over to him. He was in fact not breathing

            "This happened last time. It was about a minute I think…"

            "Trowa? Remember to come back." Quatre pleaded after a minute.

            "I'll feel bad if you die, I'll have guilt." Relena said

            "I still need you to explain why I'm not crazy."

            "I don't want to deal with a guilt stricken Relena."

            "I personally don't care one way or the other. Die or come back but hurry up and do it." Noin said. The other four looked at her.

            He wheezed out a sentence, "Your…compassion…is…comforting…"

            "Trowa!" They all cried. Relena hugged him as he sat up. Quatre did too.

            "I'm…fine…just a little light headed."

            He fell back asleep into the chair.

* One month later…

            "I don't know what to feel anymore." Trowa said to Duo as they worked on his truck at Duo's shop.

            "Well, what is the first thing you want to do when you see her?"

            "…I just want to be close to her, after that. I don't know."

            "Well, does she feel the same?"

            "I don't know. I don't even now what I feel. How can I worry about her when I am more confused?"

            "You still worry thought? The need to be accepted by the one you love."

            "Right, I'm a mess, but I can't help but think about her problems."

            "That's that then. You have your answer."

            "Why is everything so plain to you?"

            "I'm the helpless Romantic remember? You're the crazy one."

            "True."

            They worked in silence for a few more minutes. Trowa took the time to think about what Duo had said. He seemed to be sincere. Still… "I wish I had some vindication of what I'm feeling."

            "That's your problem, you want the information that can't be provided. You should take a chance. At least normally."

            "Say what?"

            Duo pulled himself from under the vehicle. "I got something that might help you, or it might scare you off from her forever. I can only show you the door. You have to walk through it."

            "Try me."

            Duo walked over to a locker. As he opened it Trowa wondered what he was talking about. When he saw a familiar mess of wires he understood. "You kept that thing?"

            "Not intentionally. I just haven't found a use for the parts. But this is what I am referring." He held up a vid-disk.

            Trowa took it from him. "What's on it?"

            "I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's the copy of what went back into your head. I never watched it."

            "Why?"

            "Its your thoughts. I'm not one to pry like that. It would be immoral. I'm going to go back to the truck. If you want to watch it, there is a screen if not, do something with it."

            He stood there for a long time. He held the disk in his hand. It could answer his questions or it could wreck the chances he told himself he had. All he had to do was look at it. "Do I really not trust myself that much? I don't need vindication on this, do I? Either I do or I don't."

            He stood alone for a minute pondering the ramifications. They told him it worked and he was free from Heero's memories and influence, but he doubted them. Why would he feel like this if he weren't under some alien influence? He never had designs on Relena before, maybe something was missed, but he had taken the time to get to know her better…could I actually be in love? If that was the case then this disk could… "I'll make a decision. Now."

*

            "Are you sure you want to do this?" Quatre asked for the tenth time.

            "Yea." He responded for the tenth time.

            "This is big though. I mean what if…should we…"

            "If should haves and buts were beer and nuts we'd have one hell of a party. I'm going in there and I'm getting an answer. I don't know what the answer will be, but I'd rather know than die cold lonely and uninformed."

            Trowa started to climb the rope. After he was on the balcony, he pulled it up. "Get to your room before they notice. Zechs has been watching me like a hawk."

            It wasn't dark like Trowa expected it to be for three in the morning. In fact, it was bright. He reached for the gun that wasn't there, after all no weapons were allowed in the Sanc kingdom. He reached into his sleeve and pulled out a throwing knife. It was a performing tool not a weapon officer; I don't know how it landed in that man's chest. He shook his head, it probably wouldn't work but he needed all the chances he could get. Trowa glanced inside the room. Relena was sitting there reading a book. It wasn't a bad book, just depressing. And quite the page-turner.

            The door was locked, Zech's idea apparently. No matter Trowa stuck the blade into the lock. The blade cleanly cut through all the pins. The door opened easily. He stepped in quietly. It helped that Relena wasn't paying much attention. He silently walked over until he was able to read the text. "Boo."

            She gasped and dropped the book. She was kind of white as she looked at him. Trowa bent down to pick up the book, he opened it to the page she left off on. "Sorry, it was a little immature."

            "Its okay, you just scared me. Why are you here anyway?"

            "I have something I want to tell you."

            "Yes…"

            He sat down on the edge of her bed. He hung his head as he gathered his thoughts, "I'm not real sure how to start. This is somewhat out of character for me."

            "Its okay. Just say it." Relena wondered if he was going to tell her what had been haunting her dreams ever since that day a month ago. Quatre had hooked up a monitor to the Zero unit, She and Quatre watched what went back in. Duo muttered about prying, but Quatre said he was being thorough She saw images of herself that didn't seem platonic…

            "I think…no, I know, but I don't want to ruin anything…"

            "Are you usually this wishy-washy?"

            "No. I'm nervous. I've never done this before."

            "What?"

            "Tell someone I…Relena, I don't know how you feel about me, but I love you. This is from the sincerest part of my heart."

            "Oh, Trowa…" She hugged the stoic pilot.

            His heart was racing, did this mean…

            "Trowa I…"

* Three months later…

            The Sunrise in the Sanc kingdom is always a beautiful sight. If you are on the west wing's roof you get good shadows from the rest of the building. It was now one of Trowa Barton's favorite things to do in the morning. Get up, make coffee and watch the sun rise. He was probably too sentimental nowadays. Pity how emotions ruined his killer instinct. Or maybe he didn't need it anymore. "I get way to introspective way to early in the morning."

            Lucretzia Noin-Peacecraft was also there, taking her coffee much stronger. "I wouldn't be so harsh on yourself. You've probably grown in much better ways."

            "Perhaps. Does this country have Winter? I've noticed it was colder out."

            "Yes. They say this one will be the harshest yet."

            The pair stood in silence. Noin had been a good friend to Trowa since he had started staying there. They often talked about things that Relena wouldn't understand or Zechs doesn't care to listen to. "Noin, Zechs has made his opinion of me very clear, but you never said anything about our relationship. Does Zechs speak for both of you?"

            "I never would have thought you would care so much about what others think of you."

            "I never used to. I probably still don't, but I don't believe I should disregard the opinion of others. Sometimes a fresh perspective is needed to grow to the next level."

            "Well, since you asked, I think you two are great together, but she will always love Heero. Runner-up prize to use a harsh term."

            "I don't know what to do about it though."

            "That is the thing, you can't do anything about it. When she is ready she will let go, but with that she may let go of more than her past loves."

            "Duo told me once that if I followed Heero I would be the rebound man. I don't wish to be used, but I can't deny my feelings either."

            "The timing kind of sucks doesn't it?"

            "You are a harsh person aren't you?"

            "No, just blunt. I don't care much for double speak."

            "…I think I will go see if Relena is up yet."

            "Before seven? Good luck."

            He gave her a mock salute before walking over the door to inside. Noin stood there for a few more minutes, watching the world come to life. Zechs appeared several minutes later his blond hair whipping in the new wind. "What's on your mind Noin? You seem lost."

            "I know we were told not to tell him, but when he finds out he'll be hurt. I don't want Relena to hurt him. He has good qualities, And after tonight who knows how this will turn out... it will be sad."

            "I wish she never hooked up with another Gundam pilot."

            "At least it wasn't Wufie, or Duo."

            "I grant you that, I'll grant you that."

            "He loves her, I don't know when he made that revelation, but its good for him. Love can heal any person's soul, and those Gundam pilots have more baggage than an airport."

            "We've made mention of certain issues they carry around, yes."

            "Zechs it's to early to be thinking this much, is breakfast done?"

            "No. We could find something to do though."

            "Oh really? What is there to do in this castle?" Her eyes shined with mischief.

            "Well…"

            "Aw shut-up" she laughed and pulled Zechs into a kiss.

*

            It was too early to be up, but she felt the sun on her face, that meant that Trowa was back, earlier than usual. "Something go wrong?" she asked as she stretched.

            "Actually the sun never came up."

            "Ha-ha." She looked at him, dressed in a long version of the Preventer coat it and his usual variety of turtleneck. He was looking at her. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

            "No, not with me. It is just that everybody I talk to tells me I shouldn't have done this. They tell me that you are going to hurt me."

            "I don't believe that. I wouldn't want to hurt you, I love you." Emphasize the want. I really wish this wasn't happening to me. Here I have the nicest most caring guy I've ever met and I'm going to hurt him…

            "Thanks, at least we agree on something."

            "Agree?"

            "I love you too, and I couldn't bring myself to hurt you. In any way shape or form."

             He was so sincere. Sometimes she wished there was a part of him she didn't like. She reached over to him and gave Trowa a hug. As they held each other Relena noticed his frigid temperature. "You're cold."

            "I'll get over it."

            "Always the problem solver."

            "Lets get something to eat. If breakfast isn't done, I'll cook."

            "You cooked last time."

            "Yea, but you can't cook at all."

            "I'll learn." Relena answered defensively.

*

            Breakfast was completed by the time Relena was ready to present herself to the rest of the house. She had put her hair into one braid, similar to Duo's. "Whoa." Trowa said as he saw the braid.

            "What?"

            "I've never seen that look on anyone but Duo, I'll probably see that every time I look at him."

            "So?"

            "I would find it awkward to be reminded of your girlfriend every time you saw a man."

            "Cute."

            Relena let her hair out then, which reminded him of Lady Une, but he didn't say anything. As they began to eat breakfast an aide approached Relena with her schedule.

            "Miss Peacecraft, I need to remind you of the meeting to settle the dispute between the earth and colonies."

            "Is that it?" she asked trying to not sound depressed. Like she could forget about that.

            "You do have Mr. Winner's ball to attend tonight, but that is on the private time part of your schedule." Trowa looked up, somewhat confused. He then looked to Relena for answers.

            "Tell me Jean, do you ever tire of being efficient?"

            The aide, Jean, smiled, "No. I love it."

            As she left Trowa spoke up, "Quatre never mentioned a ball to me. Nor have you. Is my presence there undesired?"

            "The ball is for two colony's election of presidents. They however are not great fans of the Gundam pilots. Quatre was going to be there because it is his ball, and he is from one of the colonies. So I just figured…"

            "To avoid unnecessary problems I wouldn't go."

            "Yea. If you want to go I understand and we'll go together, but…"

            "Its not a big deal, maybe I'll visit my sister."

            "Thanks for understanding. See you."

            "Must be planning a long night eh?" he said to his plate. Still hungry he walked into the kitchen and got a bowl of Frosted Flakes. As he munched, he saw Noin and Zechs come down to the kitchen. They look tired. "Let me guess, Butterfly curls?"

            Zechs looked at him and whispered, "Hot, wild, passionate, unbridled sex."

             "Oh, and here I thought it was two people working out. Silly me."

            "Were did my sister go?"

            "She had lots of meetings today, and left early. Have you two heard of Quatre's ball/party thing tonight?"

            "Uh…Yea. We've been invited. Why do you ask?"

            "I wasn't."

            "Oh…I wonder why…"

            "The elected officials being celebrated don't like Gundam pilots I'm told."

            "Yea…I remember that now…" Noin said.

            "I was going to go hang out with my sister, Unless you need me to do something."

            "No. Its okay, you aren't the handyman."

            "Right."

            The older people left, leaving Trowa to his cereal. As he ate he pondered on things ponderable. Why would Zechs be invited if the leaders didn't like Gundam pilots? Tallgeese III was almost as good as a Gundam. If wasn't exactly popular knowledge that He was the pilot of it, and some people still thought he was dead, so it's a possibility. Trowa decided to look into this.

            The research room has several links to several networks all over; perfect for Zechs's homework, which he seemed to do so often. Trowa had long ago found out the passwords to log onto the network, and as such used them. He found out very little about the ball, except that the guest list was huge, and had most of the Preventers on it not as security but as guests. Including Wufie. "That is interesting." He muttered, and searched the guest list for civilians. "Hilde and Duo? More interesting still." He shut down the computer and wondered This was going to be big, yet he wasn't going to be there. Time to pry info from other sources. He dialed a number.

"Yes. Hello Hilde. I'm fine. Its okay. No we aren't fighting or anything, I know I'm not invited, could I talk to Duo? He went out shopping? On his own free will? I did not take all his dress shirts, those were mine! Yea. I know. Sorry to put you through that particular lump of trouble. When did you know I wasn't invited? I didn't even know about it until this morning. Really? I'll look into it. Thanks Hilde. Maybe I'll visit soon. Uh-huh. Bye."  He hung up the phone and thought again. Something so important to make Duo go out shopping. " I think I shall go. Discreetly." He looked up at his trademark bangs. Hoo-boy. "I better find some hair gel."

*

            Wing Gundam was always a good jet. It was fast and quiet. More importantly Heero left it in his care. Not to much trouble getting it to start. It was still in good shape so he thought it would be good for getting to the party discreetly. He landed the massive suit (in bird mode) at a private airstrip. He called the cab, and was at Quatre's winter mansion about an hour before the festivities started, they were still in greeting people stage. Tugging on the cuffs of his new suit jacket, he checked his wig again. The gel didn't work, so he found a black wig. The contacts he had to change his eye color were in place so, "I guess I'm ready to party."

            He walked up towards the main pile of guests. He saw Quatre and Relena were greeting guests one as the host and one as the highest-ranking dignitary in the building, so far. Not trusting his own disguise too much he slipped in behind them.

            He walked among rich guests looking for a familiar braid or even Wufie's whatchamallcallit. He was about 100 feet in before he was stopped by a mass of guests, "Excuse me dear boy, perhaps you could settle a bet between us."

            "I can try sir."

            "Well, Bob over here says that the young princess of Sanc was involved with a new young man before tonight's events, whereas I was telling him that if she was we all wouldn't be here tonight."

Trowa thought, or at least pretended to, so the word wasn't out yet that he and Relena were together, "I'm sorry to say sir, but Bob is quite correct. She does have a new man in her life, there are all sorts of rumors, but I hear it is a Gundam pilot."

"Thank you young man, I appreciate you filling in an old man."

"Think nothing of it." Hew walked off again. Thinking some more, he thought his way over to the hor` derves, is that right? Oh well. The munchies table then, where he found one of his comrades in arms. "Time to see how well I'm recognized."

Duo was dressed in a black suit that was identical to his. "Are you Duo Maxwell?" he asked, putting some high society in his voice.

"Huh? Oh yea that's me. Hey nice suit."

"Very similar I noticed." He gestured to Duo's suit. "You are the gundam pilot, aren't you not? I love your work."

"I like you. What's your name?" Trowa paused he forget to make up a name Duo continued, oblivious, "C'mon every body has one."

"I wouldn't dare to think that the great God of Death would bother with introductions you must meet hundreds of people like me a day."

"Naw, C'mon. I want to know."

"Carl Rogers." He made it up.

"Well, Carl I tell you I am not as famous as some people would believe."

"A gundam pilot? How could you not be loved and showered with gifts and marriage proposals everywhere you go?" Is Duo really to dense to see that I'm Trowa? The hair must do a lot for me.

"I don't know. Maybe word is around that I'm hooked up."

"I don't believe it! A girl could win your heart?"

"I would like to think that I won hers, but…"

Trowa found it amazing that Duo could become friends so fast with someone. If he kept on telling him what he wanted to hear he wouldn't bother to look to closely at him. "I hear rumors that there are no single pilots out there anymore."

"Does it matter?"

"I have a sister who adores the five of them."

"Oh. Well to be frank, there is only four, look, at Winner over there. He has someone now, but I don't count on him being loyal to her...and the other one, Barton he is kind of shacked up, I don't expect it to last, especially in light of tonight's events."

"Yea I heard rumors that he was the one to hook up the princess of Sanc."

"Carl, you are one in the know guy."

"Just rumors. I hear ones all the time about how this is all a façade and the pilots are really all gay."

"If I ever knew who started those rumors, I swear to god I would kill him."

"Him?"

"Has to be a guy, why would a woman not think I was straight?"

"I dunno. Hey is that Milliardo Peacecraft?"

"The blond? Oh yea. That's him."

He talked with Duo for about an hour. Duo was usually pointing out his opinion of people or talking about himself, trying to impress Carl. If Trowa had known he was this unrecognizable he would have done this sooner. Duo was entertaining a group of people with an old war story. He remembered that battle. Duo was being a bit more heroic than usual in that story, "Excuse me, Mr. Maxwell, but didn't the Wing Gundam Zero save you? I don't recall the Deathscythe fighting its way out of that many MS's"

"Wing Zero's attendance in fights is usually exaggerated because it was the flashiest suit. No disrespect intended."

"Who is going to take any? The pilot has been gone so long he is probably dead."

Some people took that as a shock. Others weren't surprised, Duo looked at him shocked. No one ever mentioned Heero's absence as a death. No one ever mentioned it at all. Trowa took this time to fade away.

He almost got away from the crowd when someone ran into him, as he hit the ground Trowa felt a contact fall out. Not bothering to pick it up he took out the other one.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hit you like that…"

"Its okay, I know you didn't mean to."

"Trowa?"

"Cathy?"

The siblings looked at each other for a second. Trowa merely smiled, "I can never miss a party."

"You shouldn't be here."

"I'm wondering why."

"I can't talk now. I'll be quiet, but you should leave." She ran off. He followed her movements for a second but he gave up. His cover would be blown in a few moments if he didn't make for the exit. Or just make yourself known. He moved to the bathroom where he removed the wig. He checked himself in the mirror again. "Damn sexy."

He walked out. No one took a second glance as he found a seat by the bar. The bartender looked up for a second and gave him a weird look. "Why aren't you off schmoozing with the rest of high society?"

"I happen to have severe anti-social tendencies."

"Okay. Beer?"

"No. I don't believe in alcohol."

"'Kay."

He watched the events unfold in silence. After being hit probably the worst blow of his life he got up and left, never announcing his presence.

*

            Quatre R. Winner was having a stressful day. If it wasn't enough that he was hosting the party for this event, he was going to responsible for hurting his friend, He hoped Trowa didn't come here tonight it could get ugly. He looked at Relena who had the same expression on her face.

            "You could have told him beforehand. He might have handled it well."

            "I couldn't tell him face to face, it would have crushed him. Its easier to write a letter or something."

            "This is wrong and you know it."

            "What can I do?"

            "Not much. Still, he loves you. This isn't just a crush, Relena it could hurt him in the greatest understatement off all time."

            On the other side of the ballroom a similar conversation was occurring. "I feel bad, not being able to tell him." Noin said.

            Zechs Duo and Wufie nodded. Hilde and Sally weren't saying anything, once they were told they knew this was going to suck. Duo said, "I don't understand why they didn't want to tell Trowa. I mean he deserves to know as well as the rest of us did. It will probably hurt him more than us."

            "It is an injustice. An err. I don't think it was wise. He would be justified in killing us all for keeping such things from him." Wufie said.

            "Why don't we tell him?"

            "I would fear the retribution. This is not something to be taken lightly. His Love is about to be taken away from him for life. He will have no chance at getting her back. He is a far to ethical man to do something after the fact."

            "I doubt Quatre will be that ethical. He is after all not thrilled with the idea. He might try to break the contract."

            "And risk an all out war?"

            "The only way out of this that would let Trowa be happy would be to leave his business to Trowa and then die."

            "Just because the colonies elected a sexist leader. He won't talk to anybody who is a represenitive of Relena. She needs to be subordinate to somebody. Trowa didn't fit the bill; he doesn't have any political power. Quatre does."

            "That weakling. He can't stand the idea of a superior woman."

            Everybody looked at Wufie. He looked back, "What? I can change. I have seen many examples of Women stronger than their male counterparts. Take Duo and Hilde for example…"

            "Shut up Wufy."

            "Whatever. A stronger man would have attacked back. You are weak Maxwell"

            "And this from the guy can only bench 150."

            "What can you bench lift then?"

            "160."

            "Bull."

            "You wanna challenge me? Lets go!" Duo held up his steak knife.

            "Fine. I shall win." He held up his own.

            Noin ended the fight. She pulled a small gun from somewhere. "Later."

            "Assuming there will be a later. I expect Trowa to pull a Quatre, go psycho, and nuke the place in Heavyarms."

            "Doesn't pulling a Quatre involve using the Zero system? And building a new gundam?"

            "The details change, but the spirit remains the same." Duo defended.

            Hilde put in her two cents "I don't think Trowa would kill other people. Without a vent however, he might kill himself."

            "Couldn't we just kill the president of the colonies?" Noin suggested.

            Zechs smiled, "I love it when you're blood thirsty like that."

            "That's nice dear, but I wasn't kidding."

            They all stared, except Duo and Wufie, who had started discussing plans. "We aren't going to kill him." Sally said sternly.

            "Here is the moment of truth." Hilde told them as Relena and Quatre stood up in front.

*

            "Trowa?" It was early morning when Relena got back. She had wanted to talk to Trowa since last night. She couldn't find him.

            "On the balcony."

            "Oh. I was looking for you."

            "…I was at the party last night."

            "Oh, Trowa…" she embraced him, not sounding happy. "I didn't want to, it seemed like the only way for peace. I wanted to tell you, or break up slowly but it all happened to quickly…"

            He sighed. He did love this girl, who now would never be his. He got angry for a minute, and it was the unfortunate moment he chose to speak, "Are you peace's bitch? Honestly. You have sacrificed a lot of things, people for peace. But to sacrifice your life? You are placing this above your own personal needs. You'll never grow to another level worrying about other people all the time, You need time for you, It isn't right. You shouldn't be so dedicated to the ideals that you forget what the ideals are. Peace is more than nobody having weapons and no wars. Sometimes I swear you would never eat if Zechs and Noin didn't make you sit down every now and again. Are you going to be happy? I'm worried about you. This isn't something to do to a girl. I'm out of things to say now…"

            They stood there holding each other. Relena thought about what he had said. Peace was important, but he was saying that she had forgotten what peace was. She never had peace and quiet anymore or time to herself, but sacrifices needed… "Trowa. I think you are right. I never stop to appreciate what I'm fighting so hard to keep. I need more me time."

            They stood there waiting for the next one to speak. Snow began to fall, the sign of winter. The season of rest. Relena started snickering. "Peace's bitch? Trowa you have a way with words."

            "I do. Yes, I do. Should I go tell that sexist bastard to go to hell? I could kill him too."

            "No. I think I need to confront him."

            "If you need me. I'll be here. If you need Heavyarms, She'll be here."

            "You moved your gundam? That's sweet."

*

            President of the colonies, Mr. Gustave Begnelowskivakawitch, was annoyed to have to be at press conference with that weak woman Relena Peacecraft. Ohh, he loathed Women. He was glad his token wife was always out. He couldn't stand her. He brushed back his black hair and placed on his glasses. "Well, Ms. Peacecraft you called the press conference so I believe you begin to speak?"

            "Yes. I first wish to explain to the press my current situation."

            "Of course." He sneered, Inferior woman, always explaining never acting.

            Relena launched into the explanation of recent events. How earth felt peace was threatened by the new leader of the colonies refusal to talk to her. She mentioned the blatant blackmail she endured and how she eventually gave in and agreed to marry Quatre Winner, to help peace. "Now Mr. President. I have a statement to make to you. I don't understand why you don't like women in power, perhaps you are threatened buy them, but to threaten a peace I have fought all of my adult life and most of my teen years for because you have emotional baggage is inexcusable. I have sacrificed lots of things to peace, but I had a heart to heart with myself and now I am no longer going to blindly protect this peace, when I can't really say I am at peace myself. I am not Peace's slave. I won't risk anything I have tried to create for myself to a movement. First things first: I like Quatre Winner, but I'm not going to marry the guy. If you don't like that deal with it. I am not the person who throws away her life to the cause anymore. If you refuse to talk with me, you are being a petulant child for not getting your way. You will deal with me, because I am going to be here a long time."

            She spun on her heels and left the speechless president alone in a room of reporters. As he glared off at her. He saw a tall boy about her age embracing her. Oh how he loathed women. "No I am not gay! By gay I mean I don't like men! No am and not a hermaphrodite!" he yelled at the reporters.

            "You kicked his ass 'Lena."

            "Thanks."

            Trowa and Relena left the building. Quatre had almost had a heart attack when he saw the speech on the news. Luckily Catherine knew CPR. Duo gave a whoop of joy at the news and proceeded to dance a jig, at the mall, much to Hilde's chagrin. Zechs and Noin simply smiled. Wufie applauded the protection of her honor with such bravado. "That is a strong woman." Sally for once agreed and didn't give him a dirty look.

* Epilogue*

            "I can't believe that they would do that!" Zechs cried as he read the note for the fifteenth time.

            "I found it very believable. He after all hates public ceremonies. I expected it."

            "Well, I wish they would have told us, we could have been witnesses or something."

            "If they let anybody know then it wouldn't be eloping now, would it?"

            "I suppose."

            "I wonder where they are now…"

*Meanwhile…

            "God, Relena you're insatiable!"

            "I am not!"

            Trowa smiled, "Not exactly a bad thing. Just tiring."

Author's Note. As it has been brought to my attention, my epilogues are often useless and don't really contribute much to the story. I put them in there to show that the characters are getting on with their lives, and that they are generally happy, because I hate depressing endings.