Kiss Me, Kari

If you have the actual play handy, you can read along!

Cast of Characters:

Tai Kamiya - Katherine Minola (the "shrew")
Kari Kamiya - Bianca Minola (the younger daughter)
Ken Ichiouji
- Gremio (a suitor to Bianca)
T.K. Takaishi - Hortensio (a suitor to Bianca)
Davis Motomiya
- Lucentio (a suitor to Bianca)
Cody Hida - Tranio (Lucentio's servant)
Matt Ishida
- Petruchio
Joe Kido - Grumio (Pretruchio's friend)

Act I, Scene I

Ken, T.K., Davis, and Cody are in the computer room of Odaiba Elementary School to study after school. They witness an argument between Tai and Kari, in which it is announced that Kari cannot date until the elder and bad-tempered Tai does. Kari's potential boyfriends, Ken and T.K., decide to search for a girlfriend - or boyfriend - for Tai. Meanwhile, Davis hatches yet another hair-brained scheme to woo Kari, and decides to disguise himself as a computer tutor so he can secretly flirt with Kari.


Davis: I'm so bored! There's nothing to do here! I thought there would be snacks...

Ken: We told you, Davis, we were doing research today on the developments in the Digiworld, and we weren't going to come to school on a Saturday just to play around.

Davis: But I thought we were going to eat, and I gave Demiveemon my breakfast!

Cody: Mi perdonato, gentle master mine.
I am in all affected as yourself,
Glad that you thus continue your resolve
To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.

Davis: WHAT did you say???

T.K.: I think Cody's hungry, too. Maybe we should get some pizza, or something.

Ken: Maybe you're right. Let's go.

Cody: Master! Some show to welcome us to town!

T.K.: Cody's right! Someone's coming! Quick, close the computer program!

Ken: Hide!

Davis: How can you two UNDERSTAND that kid???

[T.K., Ken, Davis, and Cody hide in the room while Tai and Kari enter.]

Kari: This isn't fair, Tai!

Tai: It wasn't my fault.

Kari: This isn't fair, and you know it! Why do I have to be punished because you can't find a girl?

Tai: First of all, you shouldn't be blaming me for what Mom and Dad decided. You heard Dad: "I firmly am resolved, you know, that is, not to bestow my youngest daughter..."

Kari: ...before you start dating; yeah, I know.

Tai: Secondly...what makes you think I'm looking for a girlfriend?

Kari: Tai!!! A boy? Mom and Dad would never approve!

Tai: And that's why I'm not dating.

Ken (hiding): Well, this has turned out to be quite a revealing encounter.

T.K. (hiding): I think we're learning a lot today.

Davis (hiding): And a lot more I didn't ever want to know!

Kari: But that doesn't help me any. You still have to date, boy or girl, or I'm never going to be able to date the guy I really like!

T.K. (hiding): Kari likes someone?

Davis (hiding): Do you think it could be one of us?

Ken (hiding): I sure hope so!

Tai: That, dear sister, is your problem. Not mine.

Kari: That is so unfair!

[Kari and Tai exit. Ken, T.K., Davis, and Cody reveal themselves.]

T.K.: Wow! So that's Tai's deal. I would've never guessed he liked guys!

Ken: And because he won't date girls, that's why Kari can't date guys...namely, one of us.

T.K.: So what are we going to do about it? We have to do something.

Davis: GUYS!! Can't we talk about this after we have something to eat? [T.K. and Ken ignore Davis.]

Ken: Well, we know that Tai won't go out with any girls; he only likes boys.

T.K.: And his parents won't accept him dating a boy, se even is he does get a boyfriend, his parents will won't let Kari date one of us.

Davis: Hey guys, I love Kari just about as much as the next guy, but right now, I'm loving the idea of chowing down on some pizzas much more.

Cody: I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible
That love should of a sudden take hold?

Davis: Would you QUIT talking like that?

Ken: I got an idea! WWe need a guy that Tai will like...

T.K.: That will tolerate Tai.

Ken: ...and who can pass for a girl, so that his parents will think he's Tai's girlfriend!

T.K.: And then Kari will be able to date!

Davis: I don't really like this idea. Where are we going to find a guy who'll go along with this?

T.K.: Oh, I got just the boy we're looking for...

Davis: Well, I still don't buy it. I don't know about you guys, but I'm out of this.

Ken: Suit yourself. But we're going to go set our plan in motion.

[Ken and T.K. exit.]

Davis: Hey, bring back some pizza! [Davis sighs, and turns his attentions to Cody.] That sounds like that stupidest scheme to win Kari that I've ever heard! But, I have an even better scheme to make Kari fall in love with me!

Cody: I pray, awake, sir! If you love the maid,
Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her.

Davis: I said, stop talking like that! Anyway, here's my plan: since Kari isn't allowed to date me, I will become her computer tutor, I'll overwhelm her with my wonderful Davis charm, and then she will fall in love with me! Isn't that a great plan?

Cody: But sirrah, not for my sake, but your master's, I advise
You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies.

Davis: Huh?

[Cody rolls his eyes.]

Davis: Either way, I am off! Come on, Cody! If I'm going to win Kari's heart by being her computer tutor, I'm gonna have to learn a few things about computers!

[Davis and Cody exit]
[END SCENE]