Chapter 13: aftermath


Hitomi sat at the window, watching the sun rise over the gardens and the city beyond them. It's hard to believe that I have only been here three days, she thought. Time seems different here. I feel ancient this morning. Decades older than twenty.

Behind her Eri was setting out one of the dresses that had been made with the fabric bought yesterday and arranging for another bath. The little maid was silent, knowing that Hitomi wanted to be left with her thoughts.

Hitomi marveled at the speed of the seamstresses, producing a dress in only one day. What day is it? Hitomi suddenly mused. Saturday after the track meet I arrived. I slept most of Sunday away, and yesterday was Monday. Today is Tuesday. I have a test today. In physics. I wonder if they will let me make it up when I explain why I was absent. She smiled, suddenly cheered by the humorous idea of explaining the presence of an unseen world to a bunch of crotchety old men.

Eri paused in her work, eyes lighting up at the chuckle from Hitomi. She had worried that after the attack last night something was dreadfully wrong with the woman she had come to think of as her Lady. Hitomi had come in wet and cold, her face swollen from crying. The king had left her with Eri to go into an emergency council his advisors and the captain of the guard had called. He had not returned and Eri knew that Hitomi had cried herself to sleep.

"Hitomi," Eri called, "The bath is ready."

Hitomi turned and smiled at her. She still felt slimy after her dip in the fountain last night. Eri brightened under the smile and scurried around, helping her get things ready. She was still a little shocked that Hitomi didn't want anyone to help her bathe, but apparently that was the way things were done on the Mystic Moon and that is how Hitomi wanted it done here.

Hitomi gratefully slipped into the hot water after the maid had left. She felt the knots in her muscles loosed with the heat, and she relaxed, allowing her head to slide under the water. She held her breath as long as possible then exhaled and opened her eyes under the water to watch the bubbles. Finally her lungs couldn't take it anymore and she popped to the surface. She found the soaps that Eri had left her and began to scrub herself, her thoughts circling in her head.

She went over again what happened last night. The knowledge that she was trying to forget, that was torturing her, was that she was somehow responsible for the attacks on Van. It was foremost in her mind. Touching the man's face last night had revealed not only his lonely life, but also the moment he received his mission from the figure on a throne enshrouded in shadows. She had seen that her presence was somehow a trigger for the attacks. The assassin had been ordered to kill Van, but the figure had wanted her.

Hitomi scrubbed herself harder, trying to remove the memory of the order that had been given and the guilt she was feeling. Her skin turned red under her administrations, and finally she stopped to rinse, the tears running down her face dropping to mix with the soapy water.

She couldn't bring herself last night to tell Van the truth. She knew he had heard the lie and was grateful that he hadn't pressed her for the truth with the chaos erupting around them. They had just found a small moment of peace, and now she was going to have to leave. That was the only solution she could think of. With her out of the picture, they would have no reason to kill Van.

Hitomi dunked her head in the water to rinse the soap out of her hair, then stood, letting the water drain from her before stepping out. Her shoulder throbbed from the heat of the bath, but it was a healing pain and she didn't mind it. She was glad she couldn't remember them removing the arrow, although Merle had told her that even unconscious she had screamed.

The dress and underclothes were carefully laid out on the bed. Hitomi managed to slip into the shift and petticoats before calling Eri back in to help with the dress and bodice. While Eri was managing the last few buttons there was a knock at the door. At Hitomi's call, it opened, showing an anxious Celena and Merle.

"Are you OK?" Celena asked worriedly. Merle fidgeted next to her, not wanting to admit that she was also worried, but her restless tail snaked around her feet, revealing her concern.

Hitomi nodded, but to her horror felt her face crumple. Merle rushed forward to hug her as the sobs rose to the surface. Merle stroked her hair while Eri and Celena stood next to them, murmuring comforting words.

Finally the storm passed and Hitomi raised her head to shakily smile at her friends.
"I'm sorry," she began. "I'm being such a baby." Celena and Eri quickly assured her she wasn't, but Merle shrugged and said, "You sure are." The bluntness and the shocked expressions on Celena and Eri's faces made Hitomi laugh.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Celena gently.

Hitomi shook her head, "Thanks, but I think I know what I need to do."

The girls looked puzzled at her response, and started to ask her what she meant when a weary voice from the door interrupted them.

"And what would that be?" Van asked, leaning on the doorframe. His eyes met Hitomi's for a second, then she looked away. Merle looked back and forth between the two, then grabbed Celena and Eri by the arm and dragged them out the door. Van smiled his appreciation at her as they passed. He shut the door behind them.

Hitomi turned and stood by the window. She did not want to see his face when she told him.

"Merle sure trusts me more. Before she never would have left us alone."


Van refused to be sidetracked. "What do you need to do?" he asked again.

Hitomi sighed. "I think I need to leave."

The silence behind her was deafening. Finally she turned to look at Van. The despair on his face was enough to break her heart. "Why?" he whispered.

Tears began to pool in her eyes. 'I am turning into a regular water fountain' she thought as she angrily shook them out. She stared at the floor, absently noting the cracks in the tiles. "I am causing this trouble," she said. "They are going to kill you."

Van crossed the distance between them. He raised her head to look in her eyes. "How do you know that?" he asked softly. She tried to turn her head away, but he wouldn't let her. Finally she sighed in defeat. "The man last night told me," she said. "Well, not told me, per se, but I know all the same."

After a moment Van asked, even more softly "Do you want to go?"

Hitomi closed her eyes, but the tears leaked out anyway. She didn't answer him, knowing that if she did, her resolve would weaken.

Van studied her face, the one that he had dreamed about for five years. Her features were imprinted on his memory, and he couldn't envision a future without her. The sight of her tears and distress were like a dagger through his heart. So he did the only thing he could think of to make her stop.



He kissed her.