Chapter 17: Celena
Hitomi sat with her head in her hand, staring at the page before her. She blew her bangs out of her eyes and dipped her quill in the ink to laboriously write the sentences over again. They had been working for two hours and Merle was looking very frustrated at her slow progress. Allen and Phiat had already bid them goodnight, and now only Dryden was left by the fireplace.
Merle dropped her quill on the table. "No! You are spelling that wrong!" she scolded, glowering at Hitomi like she had done it deliberately. Hitomi glared back.
"You try learning to write a language you are not technically speaking," she retorted angrily.
Celena looked started but Millerna just sighed tiredly. "Why don't we start again tomorrow?" she suggested. "We can leave everything out and meet again after breakfast." Hitomi dropped her quill in relief, massaging her hand. Merle reluctantly nodded and stretched, her tail extending out behind her. Dryden noticed their movements from his seat and hurried over, leaving his books by the fire. Celena and Merle watched, puzzled, as he fussed over Millerna, who good-naturedly allowed him to help her to her feet and escort her to their room.
Celena and Merle turned to Hitomi after bidding the departing couple goodnight. Hitomi unsuccessfully tried to hide her smile as Merle pounced on her. "What is going on?" she demanded. Hitomi sealed her lips and shook her head. Merle poised over her, claws extended threateningly. "Tell us!" she ordered. Hitomi just smiled. Frustrated, Merle pleaded pathetically, then gave up and stalked out of the room. Eri, rubbing her eyes, was close behind.
Celena, yawning, got up to follow when Hitomi stopped her.
"Can I sleep in your room?" she asked, her cheeks flaming red in embarrassment. "I have been sleeping in Van's room, and, well, now he's there and I don't want to wake him." Her face burned hotter as she realized how her presence in Van's room could be construed.
Celena looked at her sympathetically. "Of course," she said lightly, trying not to embarrass her further and linked her arm with hers. "I would love for you to stay with me."
Hitomi, thankful Celena had consented readily, said "Thank goodness. I was afraid I would end up having to ask Merle and either I would be teased mercilessly the rest of my time here or I would wake up with my head shaved."
Celena giggled as they made their way to her room. She sent her maid for sheets and pillows with which to make up the futon and pulled out a nightgown. "Thank goodness we are all the same height," she said, measuring the clothes against Hitomi. They helped each other change and were ready by the time the maid returned and had made up the bed. Hitomi snuggled down in the cushions as the maid blew out the candles and left. She pulled the covers up to her chin and stared at the ceiling in the darkness.
"Hitomi?" Celena whispered from across the room. Hitomi rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her arm. "Yes?"
"What did you mean when you said you are not speaking our language?"
Hitomi struggled to explain. "When Van came to my world, he spoke a language that my friends couldn't understand, but I could. It sounded like we were speaking the same language. I don't know why, but if you watch how we say words, our mouths move differently."
Celena was silent. "I guess that just shows how much you belong here," she finally said.
Hitomi rolled back onto her back. She didn't respond, an ache forming in her chest at the harmless words.
"Hitomi?" Celena whispered again. "Are you going to stay? On Gaea, I mean."
Hitomi was quiet for a moment. "I don't know," she whispered, pain in her voice. She heard Celena shift on her bed, turning to face her in the darkness.
"I want you to stay. You are the first real friend I've had. Even Merle and Millerna were uncomfortable around me until you came. Those who know the truth about me tiptoe around thinking I will go crazy at any given moment and everyone else treats me like some delicate piece of pottery because of the story Allen spread about how he found me in a prison after the war. I've been so lonely even with Allen." Her voice broke and Hitomi could hear the tears in her voice.
Hitomi got up and padded over to the bed, hugging Celena like a child and rocking her back and forth. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Celena was silent for a moment, as if considering the offer. Just as Hitomi thought she was not going to answer, she began talking. Words spilled from Celena as if a dam burst and all her troubles were pouring out. She explained how it seemed like there was a box of Dilandau's memories in her mind, and without warning it would open and she would recollect some horrible thing he had done, or said, or thought. How she felt responsible for all the terrible things and still she felt there was something she could have done to stop him. She described the rigorous training the monks had instilled in her to not let the memories overwhelm her.
But mostly she talked about Allen. He had worried over her and had ignored all others to the point that Celena had worried for his health. Not even Millerna's remarriage had affected him. She was worried that he was alone, having been separated from his friends and crew, especially since they had had to travel by land to Fanelia on account of Lord Giata's fear of flying.
Eventually the stream of words tapered to an end and she sat, hiccuping slightly from the crying storm, slumped limply against Hitomi.
Hitomi was quiet. She couldn't imagine what the torment of having Dilandau's memories was like for Celena. She hadn't realized what a struggle everyday life was for Celena and was in awe of the strength she possessed to keep going.
"I think," Hitomi said slowly, "that you are the strongest and bravest person I know."
Celena sat up in surprise, wiping the tears from her face.
Hitomi continued "I think it takes more courage to wake up every morning and fight that battle with yourself than it does to go fight someone else. And I want to know that you are not and never were responsible for Dilandau's actions. I don't blame you, Van doesn't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself. And no matter what happens, always remember that. "
Celena nodded in the dark, then realizing Hitomi couldn't see her, she whispered, "I will." Hitomi gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Allen loves you and is just as worried about you. Now we just need to set him up with the perfect girl so you can stop worrying!"
Celena giggled, cheering up. "Do you know any attractive, single women willing to take him on?"
Hitomi pretended to think. "Other than Merle, no. And I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy!"
Celena laughed outright. "You two act just like sisters."
Hitomi groaned. "Thanks for the insult! I act like I am related to her?!?" She flounced to the edge of the bed in mock anger, ready to storm back to her couch.
Celena caught her hand as she stood.
"Thanks." she whispered.
Hitomi sat with her head in her hand, staring at the page before her. She blew her bangs out of her eyes and dipped her quill in the ink to laboriously write the sentences over again. They had been working for two hours and Merle was looking very frustrated at her slow progress. Allen and Phiat had already bid them goodnight, and now only Dryden was left by the fireplace.
Merle dropped her quill on the table. "No! You are spelling that wrong!" she scolded, glowering at Hitomi like she had done it deliberately. Hitomi glared back.
"You try learning to write a language you are not technically speaking," she retorted angrily.
Celena looked started but Millerna just sighed tiredly. "Why don't we start again tomorrow?" she suggested. "We can leave everything out and meet again after breakfast." Hitomi dropped her quill in relief, massaging her hand. Merle reluctantly nodded and stretched, her tail extending out behind her. Dryden noticed their movements from his seat and hurried over, leaving his books by the fire. Celena and Merle watched, puzzled, as he fussed over Millerna, who good-naturedly allowed him to help her to her feet and escort her to their room.
Celena and Merle turned to Hitomi after bidding the departing couple goodnight. Hitomi unsuccessfully tried to hide her smile as Merle pounced on her. "What is going on?" she demanded. Hitomi sealed her lips and shook her head. Merle poised over her, claws extended threateningly. "Tell us!" she ordered. Hitomi just smiled. Frustrated, Merle pleaded pathetically, then gave up and stalked out of the room. Eri, rubbing her eyes, was close behind.
Celena, yawning, got up to follow when Hitomi stopped her.
"Can I sleep in your room?" she asked, her cheeks flaming red in embarrassment. "I have been sleeping in Van's room, and, well, now he's there and I don't want to wake him." Her face burned hotter as she realized how her presence in Van's room could be construed.
Celena looked at her sympathetically. "Of course," she said lightly, trying not to embarrass her further and linked her arm with hers. "I would love for you to stay with me."
Hitomi, thankful Celena had consented readily, said "Thank goodness. I was afraid I would end up having to ask Merle and either I would be teased mercilessly the rest of my time here or I would wake up with my head shaved."
Celena giggled as they made their way to her room. She sent her maid for sheets and pillows with which to make up the futon and pulled out a nightgown. "Thank goodness we are all the same height," she said, measuring the clothes against Hitomi. They helped each other change and were ready by the time the maid returned and had made up the bed. Hitomi snuggled down in the cushions as the maid blew out the candles and left. She pulled the covers up to her chin and stared at the ceiling in the darkness.
"Hitomi?" Celena whispered from across the room. Hitomi rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her arm. "Yes?"
"What did you mean when you said you are not speaking our language?"
Hitomi struggled to explain. "When Van came to my world, he spoke a language that my friends couldn't understand, but I could. It sounded like we were speaking the same language. I don't know why, but if you watch how we say words, our mouths move differently."
Celena was silent. "I guess that just shows how much you belong here," she finally said.
Hitomi rolled back onto her back. She didn't respond, an ache forming in her chest at the harmless words.
"Hitomi?" Celena whispered again. "Are you going to stay? On Gaea, I mean."
Hitomi was quiet for a moment. "I don't know," she whispered, pain in her voice. She heard Celena shift on her bed, turning to face her in the darkness.
"I want you to stay. You are the first real friend I've had. Even Merle and Millerna were uncomfortable around me until you came. Those who know the truth about me tiptoe around thinking I will go crazy at any given moment and everyone else treats me like some delicate piece of pottery because of the story Allen spread about how he found me in a prison after the war. I've been so lonely even with Allen." Her voice broke and Hitomi could hear the tears in her voice.
Hitomi got up and padded over to the bed, hugging Celena like a child and rocking her back and forth. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Celena was silent for a moment, as if considering the offer. Just as Hitomi thought she was not going to answer, she began talking. Words spilled from Celena as if a dam burst and all her troubles were pouring out. She explained how it seemed like there was a box of Dilandau's memories in her mind, and without warning it would open and she would recollect some horrible thing he had done, or said, or thought. How she felt responsible for all the terrible things and still she felt there was something she could have done to stop him. She described the rigorous training the monks had instilled in her to not let the memories overwhelm her.
But mostly she talked about Allen. He had worried over her and had ignored all others to the point that Celena had worried for his health. Not even Millerna's remarriage had affected him. She was worried that he was alone, having been separated from his friends and crew, especially since they had had to travel by land to Fanelia on account of Lord Giata's fear of flying.
Eventually the stream of words tapered to an end and she sat, hiccuping slightly from the crying storm, slumped limply against Hitomi.
Hitomi was quiet. She couldn't imagine what the torment of having Dilandau's memories was like for Celena. She hadn't realized what a struggle everyday life was for Celena and was in awe of the strength she possessed to keep going.
"I think," Hitomi said slowly, "that you are the strongest and bravest person I know."
Celena sat up in surprise, wiping the tears from her face.
Hitomi continued "I think it takes more courage to wake up every morning and fight that battle with yourself than it does to go fight someone else. And I want to know that you are not and never were responsible for Dilandau's actions. I don't blame you, Van doesn't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself. And no matter what happens, always remember that. "
Celena nodded in the dark, then realizing Hitomi couldn't see her, she whispered, "I will." Hitomi gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Allen loves you and is just as worried about you. Now we just need to set him up with the perfect girl so you can stop worrying!"
Celena giggled, cheering up. "Do you know any attractive, single women willing to take him on?"
Hitomi pretended to think. "Other than Merle, no. And I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy!"
Celena laughed outright. "You two act just like sisters."
Hitomi groaned. "Thanks for the insult! I act like I am related to her?!?" She flounced to the edge of the bed in mock anger, ready to storm back to her couch.
Celena caught her hand as she stood.
"Thanks." she whispered.
