Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, or anything of worth, so your suing efforts would be useless, ha! Useless I say! No seriously, I'm not out to make any money, just have fun. (and surely that's not against the law is it?)

Warning: Shounen-ai/Shoujo-ai. For the sanity of everyone involved, please don't bother to read something which will just disgust you if you don't like that sort of thing. Roll call: Taito, Mira, Jyoushirou, (Kensuke, Hiyako, Takori)


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Caprice

* * * * * * * * * * * *


The fact that the surrounding landscape much resembles the surface of the moon, when just a second ago we were trapped in dense forest is appallingly not the most horrifying result of our intrusion. I find it all the more grisly the way the vanquished disperse into the air silently, leaving us to imagine their anguished dying cries. It's harder when they don't speak. Because then I tend to forget, I tend to forget that in the end we're nothing but killers, that we're not putting down rogue animals in a world that we belong in, but that we're imperialist conquerors destroying a way of life. For what sake, I'm not sure. I wanted to protect this world, my friends, my family more than anything, or was it, protect them from this world? I can't remember anymore.

"Yamato! What the hell do you think you're doing just standing there? Go help the others. Jyou and Koushirou and checking the area for dark devices, and Sora and Mimi are on the look out for more hostiles. Make yourself useful dammit." Taichi is staring at me in anger. He's so quick to do that. But he's really unthreatening when's he's holding an exhausted koromon, especially since I have MetalGarurumon at my back. And I have this pointless desire to bite back, ask just what he thinks we're here for anyway, meet his fire with mine. But he's already turned away.

Taichi, I resent you. I cherish you. I hate you. You are my best friend. But you've grown up, and I am the same child I've always been. My feelings have not changed. I motion to MetalGarurumon and we walk away from you, to explore the charred remains of the grove that was destroyed by War Greymon's attack.

Not surprisingly, we don't find anything of more substance than ash, and I wander to the perimeter of the battle area more to avoid Tai's orders than of any fear of another attack. Sora and Mimi notice my movements, and we move into a triangular formation, for better scouting position. I'd like to think I'm watching for more agents, come to help us clean up this mess, but I know better. We destroyed hostiles, we'll inform our superiors, and the case will be closed, after all, regeneration projects have yet to be sanctioned in 'enemy' territory.

Bullshit. At least that's what I think. I thought we were being loyal to the digital world, I wanted to help our friends, but this, I don't know. Taichi buys into it, that we're here to protect the digital world, just like in the old days. And I envy his courage and his conviction. They won me over once. He showed me what he thought was right, and I agreed. I still agree. But we were killers in the old days too. Fuck it. How can I do what's right if I don't even know what that is?

I see that Taichi, Jyou, and Koushirou have converged in the center of our manmade clearing, apparently to compare notes. They motion to Sora, Mimi, and I to gather, so we abandon our posts. Seeing that all of our digimon are digivolved to at least champion, and mostly to ultimate except for Koromon, anything that chooses to attack us at this point anyway will most likely come to a quick end. Another inefficiency to Tai's order structure. Aw well.

"So, you guys find anything?" Sora called to Tai and the others as the three of us neared them. I can see them shaking their heads already, no.

We arrive, if for no more purpose than to share the air of unease with them. Uncomfortable, I try to comment coolly, "Look, what is the point of this. Why don't we just report, then go home." Taichi slams his fist into his open palm, exclaiming, "We have to find the cause of these outbreaks. Agents are being attacked at random seemingly, but at this frequency, there's no way it can be coincidence. There has to be some kind of organization behind this. Some kind of new evil, and we've got to crush it!"

His ever inspiring speeches put about as much fire into us as a rainy day. All his anger and force could do little to dent the sense of utter futility that hangs almost suffocating around us. Koushirou's face betrays the puzzlement that he usually retreats into his computer for, but for once, he seems to have resisted the urge to whip out the laptop and start banging away. Perhaps that has something to do with the way Jyou is looking at Taichi like he's a damn fool.

It's the first time I've seen our annoyingly verbose Jyou seem ready to come down to physical expressions of frustration. he isn't whining today, in fact, he has the distinct look of wanting to hit someone, and i think that's got us all suckered, especially Koushirou. I suspect the draw of that mystery is all that's keeping his computing instincts at bay. I guess the fucking stress is getting to all of us.

Sora-chan, ever the peacemaker tries to thin through the tension, but you can tell, she doesn't know what to make of things either. "But Taichi," she begins in a muted voice, hand waving vaguely in the space between Tai and Jyou, "What if the digimon are acting on their own," she swallows, "or, what if the agents are at fault..."

I don't want to hear it, no more, it has to stop, if it goes on anymore, we're all frustrated enough to cry. I don't want to hear Taichi use his anger to cover it anymore.

I open my mouth to speak, not knowing what to say, but Mimi, in her unerringly innocent fashion dismisses the concept. "Oh, come on you guys, I mean, sure this is totally weird and all, but, I'm sure we'll find something soon, and even if we don't it's not our job to figure it out, y'know. It's no use getting all worked up about it." She might be right, but the fact that solving these problems has been taken out of our hands is something none of needed reminding of.

"What's important is we don't give up... right?" Sora-chan shoots Mimi a look I can only guess a meaning at since she cringes back in on herself in mid-sentence. "How would you know if we shouldn't anyway..." is Sora's quiet reply. It's true, Mimi has less experience dealing with this matter, since she only moved back to Japan and back into our division about a year ago. The rest of us have been finding these cases ever since our induction about four years back, since the Japanese government seemed to think our little team was the perfect task force for taking out hostiles. Activity has been deceptively low since Mimi joined us, but nevertheless, the frequency was slowly but surely increasing over the years, and the five of us being at the center of it for so long are at a loss. So Mimi wasn't quite as frustrated as the rest of us, but sora-chan wasn't cutting her any slack. Maybe I'm not the only one around here with some resentment.

Our digimon had been keeping quiet for the most part, apparently a little fatigued after the fight, but of course hadn't reverted since a threat was still possible. However, at that moment, we were interrupted by the deep gravelly voice of my MetalGarurumon, calling our attention to something we'd all forgotten. It hadn't been that long since we'd left the younger children, our fully digivolved companions turning in a difficult, but quick battle. I suppose in the excitement, none of us had remembered how close we still were to their location. "Hey, Yamato, isn't that Takeru?"

At least close enough for them to see the pyrotechnics. Fucking hell. We all turned to see 6 champion digimon carrying six teenagers right into the battle scarred terrain.

"Hn, no shit..." is all i can get out.

"Oniichan! Are you guys all right? What happened?!" Hikari-chan shouted.

At the same time, Takeru was calling to me, "Don't worry! We're here to help you guys!" Someone please remind me not to quit my day job.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The expressions on Tai and Yamato's faces were so funny I almost burst out laughing right then, but considering how totally funky everyone was acting since the fight, I decided it wouldn't be a very good idea. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an idiot. I know what's right and wrong, I know what's nice and what's mean, and I know when I don't care. Okay, so maybe that makes me an airhead, but I'm definetely not an idiot.

And now is definetely not the time to piss anybody off. Taichi and Yamato are so stressed out, especially with the new kids showing up, I'd be afraid to point out even the obvious. Like the fact that their siblings' arrival might not be a problem at all.

That doesn't stop me from thinking it needs to be said, but, honestly, I hate myself more and more these days for not doing it. And just because I don't trust things to be the same. I trust myself. It's like, I try not to do anything I don't believe in, but, I'm scared. Sometimes I'm scared of saying anything at all.

I mean, look at us. I swear if they didn't have such unbelievable amounts of hair, Tai and Yama would be bald out of worry for sure. Jyou's stopped talking for god's sake, I mean, sure he can be annoying, but being in the digiworld without hearing his reassuringly safe and boring 'plans', it's just eerie. Even worse, it makes me feel like no one's watching out for us at all, and like, that might be the one thing we need the most. Even Koushirou, good old Koushirou who's nearly as good as me at being single-mindedly insensitive, seems to be affected. He not looking stuff up on his laptop! How weird is that? It just screams that something is wrong. Something is terribly horribly wrong.

And what bugs me the most is I have no earthly idea of what that could possibly be. Okay, so digimon attacked us, what else is new? Ever since we came to the digiworld 12 years ago they've been doing that, heck, now that we're working for the government we don't even have to worry about why, like, we just have to stop them. And what's so stressful about that?

I'm starting to think that whatever it is, it's dangerous, and it's so frustrating not knowing. But argh, it would be so much less frustrating if someone would just tell me what's going on. I'd better not ask though, their glares will burn holes right through me. Just like before with Sora. And I don't think I'd be able to stand that again. What is it I don't get, and how can it hurt so much? Sounds like a personal problem to me.

I've only been at this for a year, ever since moving back to Japan. Its a bit different than in my previous experience, where it seemed the American government cared as much about the digital world as any other third world country so all I had to do to visit was like, get a visa. Of course I don't mind being reunited with the team, but I don't know how much help I am. In that way its like I'm 10 years old again, the same useless Mimi, worried about getting dirty and missing lunch. But that's not true is it? I learned so much from that experience, from these very people. I care so much about them, I really do. I'm not that girl anymore.

I feel small and petty, but, 10 years is a long time. How can I live with the changes? How can I trust them?

Every time I open my mouth I'm afraid of the way they will react. I know I'm a coward for wanting to believe that I still have a place in their hearts, but I'm even more of one for letting that fear stop me from doing what I know is right. Why am I acting this way?

I sneak a look over at Sora whose earlier words had stung me like a slap in the face. The two of us used to be closer than sisters, but I miss her so much, I don't want to believe that we've been apart too long to know we need each other. But that exercise of will isn't enough to keep her from turning away from me, or to hold me from doing the same when I look in her eyes. I'm sorry that I don't understand your point of view, but no one understands the way I feel either! Can't you see how hard I'm trying to understand? Why am I talking to myself? I should really be telling her this, but how can I explain feelings that have been building for years? It kills me not knowing what she meant. That gaze, the one that tells me there's things I need to know. It's killing me.

She's not looking at me, so thankfully, when I realize I've been staring, it's not too embarrassing. But then again, I don't really get embarrassed that easily. So maybe I won't bother not staring at her.

Right now everyone's attention seems to be on the younger kids anyway, and okay, maybe I can't hold back a little snicker as Hikari and Takeru walk up to their stunned brothers. As if, those two jerks really thought they could keep this a secret from the kids. Personally I don't see what the problem is, since they're probably about to be drafted anyway. They might as well work with us. Whatever.

Obviously Tai and Yama don't share those sentiments 'cause Yama is grimacing oddly and Taichi's mouth is flapping open and closed like a carp. What is there about this business that they want to hide? Judging from their actions 7 years ago, those kids will most likely give whatever it takes to be able to help the digital world, and who knows, maybe they can help us figure out this problem. I shrug to myself and get ready to tell Tai just that, since he seems kinda bent out of shape about the younger kids showing up, but someone beats me to the punch.

"I'm afraid we have some explaining to do, but nonetheless your arrival is quite timely." began Koushirou. I flinched as I caught the glares Tai and Yama were sending him, but he seemed to be taking it well.

Nevertheless, wanting to rescue Koushirou from some of that anger, I said, "Yeah, the truth is, they told us to bring your group into the operation when we thought you'd be ready, but Yamato and Taichi thought it would be better to keep you out of it as long as possible." Yikes, I'm getting the heat now, but like I said, I'm almost as good at being insensitive as Koushirou. And I'm also beginning to be thankful that I'm an only child.

Daisuke squints at us so hard its funny, then asks, "Operation? What's going on anyway? And why was stuff blowing up?"

Takeru sighed, and asked in turn, "What happened here?"

"Yes, is there anything we can do to help?" Hikari looked really concerned.

Uh, heh he, like, actually, I'm a little fuzzy on the details myself. I'm not sure how exactly the powers that be wanted this arranged. And how am I supposed to explain why we're fighting random digimon anyway. sigh, I should really think before I act sometimes. Right now, I don't know where to begin.

"It's like, you know..."

Feeling really dense, I look around for some help. Uh oh, no help from Yama or Tai... so, naturally, I turn to Sora, and for an instant, she meets my eyes, just like before, looking into them searchingly. Oops. Perhaps now would have been one of those great, think first situations. In that moment, it becomes clear to me that she didn't want the younger kids to get involved either, and I find myself questioning my own actions. Am I ashamed of what I was saying? No, so why... why do I feel like my heart is right out on display for her to gawk at, and that she can read me like an open book. What is in my heart?

But she begins telling the story that she doesn't want to tell. Just for me. And suddenly, I know that I'm weak, and I feel very sick.

What are you saying to them Sora? I can't hear you, I'm so scared. I'm scared of myself. Because I lied to myself so completely, I believed my own lies. I have no right to borrow your strength. I know why things can never be the same as years ago, at least not for me, and not for you. And I am an idiot. How can anyone trust me if I don't even know the most important people in my life? If I can't even know myself? In my ignorance all I can do is hurt the ones I love.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It can't be! I swear things are just getting worse and worse! Now is not the time to panic, panic solves nothing. Get a hold of yourself Jyou. Take deep breaths, slowly, in and out, in and out. As my eyes begin to cross, I ruminate on the fact that I may be the only person in the world who can end up with a lack of oxygen by trying to breath deeply. I feel nauseous.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, and try to focus on what's at hand. I will not retreat into my old patterns! fighting back the waves of self deprecation, I attempt to analyze the situation objectively and calmly. And fail miserably. As if it wasn't bad enough that all of us are frayed to the bone with stress over these attack calamities, it's one crisis after another!

I'm worried. Not only do we not know why these attacks are occurring, but we don't even know how to stop them or handle them at all. Even the six of us can't be everywhere at once. I promised myself I wouldn't give in to the frustration like I always have before, but holding it all in like this is taking all the effort I have. Perhaps my body will betray me and I'll simply explode, but let's hope my temper doesn't melt down before then. This is harder than I thought.

I sigh at my own circular thoughts, which refuse to introduce themselves to our current situation. The younger digidestined have arrived, and I realize this could actually be our salvation. But ouch, Yamato-kun and Taichi don't seem to think so at all. Maybe I should reconsider. Nevertheless, while I'm lost in my own thoughts, Koushirou-kun and Sora-chan seem to be explaining the situation to the other group.

"Well, I suppose it's obvious we weren't having a picnic isn't it? Actually, what we were doing is a little complicated, but, um..." began Sora-chan, seemingly a bit reluctantly.

"I'm sure most of you are aware of the Japanese government's policies regarding access to the digital world." continued Koushirou.

Instead of them agreeing as it seemed Koushirou-kun had expected, he received a collection of odd looks from the others. Not surprisingly, Daisuke-kun was sporting a blank expression, while Takeru, Ken, and Miyako all had varying degrees of guilt showing on their faces. Iori-kun had a look of intense puzzlement, which reminded me of Kou-kun himself. Hikari-chan was the only one who nodded.

"Eh? You've got to be kidding me..." He muttered. well, not his best explanation to date, but makes about as much sense as anything else under the circumstances. I'd like to come to his aid, but I'm afraid I'd bungle it. He's much smarter than I, he'll come up with a way.

But Sora-chan picks up the slack, saying, "Or in case you aren't familiar, any 'digidestined', that is humans with digivices and digimon partners, who are over the age of 18, or a little younger under some extenuating circumstances, are required by law to make arrangements with the government if they want continued access to the digital world. Due to the nature of the government's operations in this dimension, those arrangements are similar to the service agreements of members of the armed forces. You may choose not to participate in such an agreement, which means no access to the digital world. Any breach of that law will result in criminal charges. Depending on the severity of the infraction you can be charged with anything from trespassing to treason. Needless to say, all six of us are effectively contracted to the government as field agents in the digital world. As five out of six of you are nearing the free access deadline, we were instructed to offer you at any time the option to join our unit. Iori, being younger is still exempt. Unless, of course, he'd like to start early..."

There's that reluctance again, I recognize the face. Sora and I spent a great deal of time together as children, and we share a bond that I'm not sure the others realize. We understand each other. Or at least, I understand why she does what she does. Out of love. Maybe she understands the lengths I go to acting out of fear, but I'm afraid to think about it. why else would she have let me lead her around. Straight into a bunch of bakemon. But I digress. Friendship is a strange thing, and one born out of mutual propensity for anxiety is even stranger. But we have it. And I recognize the face. I'd say, this is specifically, an 'I'm humoring Mimi-chan' face. I've worn that one quite a few times myself.

For Mimi-chan huh? Koushirou-kun seems to have recovered his composure at this point, which is lucky for the other group if they wanted more explanation, because by now Sora-chan's reached worry induced shut down. We must look like twins. I'd like to listen to kou-kun's explanation, I love to listen to him talk, but something is bugging me about the girls.

Okay, if Sora is so worried about the others get involved, why wouldn't she just keep her mouth shut, like Yamato-kun and Taichi? Well, because Mimi-chan wanted her to tell them obviously. I know first hand how difficult it is for compulsive worriers to refuse that girl. Something about her just makes you /worry/, ahem, but anyway, so why isn't Mimi talking for herself? She's not usually one to suppress her opinion. Even 10 years hasn't changed that. Hmm. Sora must have seen that something's wrong.

I hazard a glance over at Mimi, and reel at the familiarity. What in the world? Man, I just want to disappear if things are bad enough to depress /Mimi/ of all people. I suppose my extensive skirt hugging cowardice in our original adventure gave me one useful point of reference. Exposure to our female companions' many ranges of emotion. And I recognize this one too. Last time I saw this expression was when went off together after facing Pinocchimon. 12 years ago. And that was when she was so wrapped up in her own pain that she thought the best thing she could do for the group was to leave. I hope it's not true, but one must assume the worst. Oh crap. I don't think it will help this time Mimi-chan, and I definetely can't go with you.

Frantically trying to think of something to make headway, I tune back in to Kou-kun's explanation.

"...which brings us to today's case. As I mentioned previously, due to our experience, the government has designated our unit as one of its primary engagement forces. When we tried to report to a nearby base, we were attacked by a seemingly organized host of hostile digimon. In fact it appears that we've been targeted specifically. It's a subtle pattern, but since we've been investigating these cases for several years now, and it's quite obvious that these attacks are being masterminded by some force trying to undermine human integration with the digital world. our problem is that we're unable to find any trace of who that force might be, or how they're controlling the digimon."

"What! You mean it's possible there might be another person like the Digimon Kaiser running around, or worse?!" Ken exclaimed.

"Uh, yeah! what he said!" echoed Daisuke.

"That could be..." replied Kou-kun.

"Maybe we should get to the base and try to analyze some of the data you've collected." Miyako said.

Iori chimed in, "Yes, I agree."

"Uh, yeah, but..." Koushirou again.

"Well come on then!" with that Ken moved to leave decisively. Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori followed, but Hikari and Takeru hesitated.

"Hikari-chan?"

"Takeru-san?"

Miyako and Iori stopped, calling back to them, while Ken and Daisuke waited, a bit impatiently. Hikari-chan looked away, then answered quietly, "You guys go on ahead, I, um, wanted to talk to Oniichan for a minute." Takeru nodded and continued, "Yeah, same for me..." Said siblings looked a bit surprised, but then looked at each other and nodded, dropping a little of their standoffish exterior.

Ken replied, "Um, I understand, but..."

Seeing my chance to segue, I moved in as fast as I could. "Well, that settles it. Taichi, Hikari-chan, Yamato-kun, Takeru, Sora-chan and Mimi-chan can stay here to uh... comb the area for clues. Koushirou and I will take the rest to the base." I want him with me. I can use all the help I can get. Good grief, what have I gotten myself into?

"Jyou!? Uh, I mean Jyou-san, what?" Y'know, he's really cute when he's flustered. I spare him a moment. "Even numbers." I reply.

Hurrying things along, I grab his arm and practically drag him over to Ikkakumon. I refuse to think about how stupid this plan is. Our how disturbing it is that everyone agreed. We mount and I look back to Taichi and give him a jaunty little salute, hoping I didn't handle this too clumsily. Taichi nods back at me gratefully, and I see Takeru and Hikari cornering their brothers. Boy am I glad Shin-niichan doesn't behave like any of those guys. Mimi and Sora are looking decidedly confused, but I think this was the best I could do. It's a leap of faith. Sora's the only one I've ever seen talk Mimi out of doing something, uh, not so bright, and this way, maybe once they're out of immediate crisis management, they'll find a way to work things out. We can't afford to lose anyone. Put my mind at ease girls.

I gesture to the others to move out, and as an afterthought, Kou-kun behind me calls out to MegaKabuterimon to follow us. as it is, kou-kun seems a little uncomfortable with ground travel at this speed, at least Ikkakumon style that is, whose shuffle gallop is a bit uneven at best. As we crest a hill particularly suddenly, Kou-kun grapples for his balance, ending up throwing an arm around me and holding on for dear life. He's lucky he brought a bag or he would've lost his laptop by now. I turn my head back to look at him, meaning to indicate his death grip was depriving me of oxygen, but couldn't help smiling at him instead, suddenly unable to say a word. I swear he honestly looks like he thinks he's going to fall off and die. He must know I'd never let that happen, now if only I could get my pesky respiratory system working. Fortunately for us both he got the message and loosened his hold, looking sheepish. I returned my attention to navigation and marveled at how I was actually enjoying this little joyride of screwed up motives and strange situations. And I had the urge to laugh insanely. I'm utterly exhausted.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I struggle to rationalize my rather illogical behavior, but I appear to have ventured into an area beyond my expertise. And the fact that this is such a routine occurrence irritates me.

My virtue is not actually in any ability to grasp things beyond the ken of others, it is simply to work until the incomprehensible becomes comprehensible. I love simplicity. That is the force which drives me to attack the complex. there is a beauty in the complete and total understanding borne of sheer mental tenacity, pulling all the tangled threads apart with your own hands and weaving them into a vast tapestry. It's the satisfaction of having strength. The satisfaction of conviction. To me there is no action without conviction, and no conviction without reason. And what better reason is there than knowledge of the truth? So in every solution and problem, I strive to find the avenue to the truth, the simple truth. That is how I act.

But when it comes to your own emotions, nothing ever seems simple.

And therefore, I've no idea how to act when it comes to matters that require me to master not my thoughts, but my feelings. More to the point, I've ridden Ikkakumon more times than I can count, so I'm loathe to admit to myself that my flailing like a seasick monkey has less to do with the ride than the rider. He's making me nervous. Extremely.

Dealing with people has never come naturally to me. But our first journey to the digital world taught me very quickly the necessity of teamwork. Actually, it was Jyou who impressed upon me the importance of relying on others, and having the strength to be relied upon in turn. But the fact remains that I can't claim to understand others very well. Of course that makes them all the more fascinating. But Jyou never seemed a mystery before. I thought I knew him, and that made me feel good, that it was possible for me to let people in, even if just the one we all had to rely on. A safe person. Maybe I didn't see much beyond the surface, but I find it disturbing that of someone I feel I care for, I can find nothing pertinent or insightful to calm my qualms, fears, that I knew nothing at all. I don't understand him or what he's doing, and normally, such a thing would not bother me at all, it would just be another puzzle for me to unravel. Instead, I feel stripped. What value this knowledge when everything I want to know remains perversely oblique. When I don't notice that things change. Like what I want, or who he is.

It's no use. I staunchly resolve not to think about it, and focus on retaining some semblance of dignity for the remainder of this bumpy ride. Then Jyou turns to me and for a moment we're both struck dumb. And then I realize that it's just me. And that he can't breathe. So much for self respect. Thankfully, the rest of the trip goes by without incident, that is, until we actually arrive at the base. Or what used to be the base. I tense in reaction, not believing my eyes.

Jyou and I ground to a halt prompting the others to follow suit.

"Dudes, what are we stopping here for? All I see is a bunch of burning TV's."

I'm sure if any of them had been close enough, one of our companions would've delivered an elbow to the less than observant goggle boy.

Jyou looked grim. "This is... was the base."

Iori turned to us with burning eyes, "What of the personnel?"

At least this I can handle. "There were none. The government's stations in the digital world are primarily unmanned. For reason's we've yet to decipher, technology seems to operate near flawlessly here, so it was optimal to create a network of databases in various explored areas. Agents simply report their data to these stations, sometimes contacting officials in the real world or doing some data analysis. Most of this information is handled by formal researchers. I suppose no one had considered the need to protect these sites." I feel the bitterness welling within me.

A collective sigh of relief was audible from the youngsters, but I returned a serious face. Any loss could be critical. Didn't they understand the importance of this data?

"Don't take this so lightly. This information was vital to our government's research." I continued, my rage building not only at the shrewdness of our enemies but also our own carelessness. "If we don't take care to defend our resources, progress can be sent back by years. I don't know if you've realized it yet, but this is not a game. This is a war. We either kill or face death ourselves. All we have on our side is our own intellects and any knowledge we can use against the enemy, and I can't believe we were stupid enough to put our lives in such jeopardy. The only thing between the future of humanity in the digital world and oblivion is the work we do and the information we earn. No one is dead today, but mistakes like this will only lead to the death of us all." I can feel myself shaking in anger, but realize that the others are well chastised and it's of no use to take out my frustration on them. For a brief moment upon Jyou's reliant shoulder, I had forgotten that I too have responsibilities.

I should scout to see if there's anything salvageable. I swing my leg over Ikkakumon's flank, trying to dismount as quickly as possible, but it snags on some hair, and I find myself tumbling face first toward the ground. I curl my body around the bag containing my computer hoping to cushion it, and land jarringly, my face and arm bearing the brunt of impact. I look up to see Jyou hovering worriedly above me, as the others rush to help.

I wave the others off, nursing my bruised pride, but Jyou stays with me. Not wanting to face him, I immediately check on the condition of my computer, and am somewhat relieved to find it intact.

"Look for anything resembling a disk or intact hardware." I say as I rise to assist the others in the search, still avoiding Jyou. So I turn to the rather unglamourous work of digging through the ruined tech station. Several minutes pass and I try valiantly not to abandon hope of finding any remnants, anything useful!

I curse the cosmos as in a stunning array of coincidences, my two problems collide.

"Koushirou, I found this disk in the base's security system. It appears to be undamaged. I think it might be the security log." said Jyou. The others have already gathered to inspect the disk, and Ken adds his opinion. "I think he's right, look here, the system he found it in is linked up to these ruined camera's." And the coup de grace, Miyako finishes, "Actually, this seems like a really lucky break. I believe what we're picking apart here is the protected recording device meant to serve as a record of whatever caused this damage, what used to be called in old airplane terminology, 'the little black box'."

I walk over to examine the disk myself. "Jyou-san, thank you..." he looks a bit baffled, but hands it to me, smiling. I snatch it rather rudely and turn away, finding that the quick way to keep my mind from wandering. Still, I should be ashamed. Not that this kind of behavior isn't expected of me, I have a tendency to get a little absorbed in my quests for information. The disk itself is quite well preserved, virtually unmarked. Considering it's delicate appearance, resembling a cd, this is fortuitous. For a moment, I fear it will be of no use without the proper equipment, and move to check out the ruined system they'd discovered.

Iori has beat me there, and as I kneel beside him he remarks, "Judging from this, it looks like you should be able to run that disk in a reasonably advanced portable system, like your pineapple." Nodding, I pull out the computer and insert the disk. I try to pull up its contents, but the machine isn't responding. I bang my fist on the ground in utter frustration. this is impossible! As if he sensed my quandary, Jyou walked up behind me, placing a reassuring arm around my shoulders, saying "I'm sure you can find a way Kou-kun." I return a sharp glance, surprised at the short name. No one shortens my name.

He begins to laugh forcedly, his arm rescinded from me to fall in place behind his head in a classic gesture of embarrassment. With his other arm, he diverts attention to the computer screen. "Maybe try running it on a video application or figure out the file type and try to modify it to one you can use..." I would almost think he's blushing, but the light glaring off his glasses, blocking his eyes is dazzling.

Dismissing the odd moment, I start to give his suggestion a try, when a commotion from the direction of the forest we'd left drew my attention. Snapping my laptop shut, and stowing it and the disk in my satchel for safekeeping, I stood to observe what was going on. Strange clouds looking like smoke were rising from the forest, with the occasional dark form soaring above the tree line, booming sounds punctuating the clear air.

"Well I'll be damned. Divide and conquer as the saying goes." We all stared at Daisuke in surprise. That actually made sense, and it also meant our friends were in grave danger. Finding myself deferring to the young leader, I nearly ran to Ikkakumon when he gave the signal to move out, but then thinking better of it, I called out to MegaKabuterimon, who had been using his massive appendages to clear rubble.

He scooped me up in a giant red arm, and we followed behind Aquillamon, the only other airborne digimon present. Normally Stingmon and Exveemon would've joined, but they were a little farther behind, taking the precaution to become Paildramon. Jyou on Ikkakumon and Iori riding Ankylomon formed our ground contingent.

I sighed at having narrowly avoided my unreasonable instinct to join Jyou, but I knew this way was faster, as well as less distracting. I can't afford any more mistakes. It's cost us time and knowledge, and I dare not think what else might yet be at stake.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I quail internally when Taichi and Yamato-kun abandon us, in private discussion with their siblings, for Jyou and Koushirou have already gone to lead the others to our station. It may be for the best, but I can barely stifle the urge to bolt like a frightened deer, unable or unwilling to face the fact that they've left us entirely to ourselves, only she and I.

I so want to ask the world to slow down a little as it hazes into that unsettling though not wholly unpleasant sensation I dread to recognize, but find myself as ineffectual as usual. She wanders away from me casually and I cannot make my legs act to follow, as if mired in my turbulent sentiment, my great stupid weakness beating constantly in my brain. Damn you crest! I can't guard against the emotion bleeding into my every thought, demanding a strength that I'm not capable of. I don't have my best friend's courage, or Yamato's constancy. What I'm said to embody most strongly is that which blinds me even now, drowning my awareness, and shaping my world with pain and joy so intense it defines me. It makes me such a fool.

I force myself to look away, since it wouldn't do to stare, only to catch sight of our digimon. The respective companions of the Yagami and Ishida/Takaishi bunch have followed their partners, leaving Birdramon and Lillymon to us. The two seem quite content to rest themselves after the taxing battle, and I don't begrudge them some well deserved peace, but even in my own stubborn withdrawal I can't abide by the thought of leaving Mimi-chan by herself to stray from us. Though every fiber of my being screams at me to leave worse enough alone, I've nothing left but to follow her, pursuing the hopeless, if only because I can't bear the alternative.

But the conflict in me fades as over the rough terrain she moves farther and farther away, as if trying to disappear into the forest. As I lose sight of her in the tree line, my self pity is replaced by a sense of foreboding urging me desperately on. For a moment I'm tempted not to humor the careless whisper, I mean she's probably just looking for a shady spot to rest herself, but a short glimpse of her still walking away steadily triggers a surge of anxiety inciting me to catch her before it's too late. I find myself running flat out with no consideration for stealth, thinking, I already have nothing to lose.

Despite giving up soccer years ago for more, I don't know, universally acceptable girly pursuits, I'm still in decent shape. I mean, I love my mother, and maybe botany will come in handy some day, but thankfully, tennis isn't bad exercise either, so I'm still catching up pretty quickly. I'm also making a lot of noise and kicking up a sizeable dust cloud against the grainy soil that's the aftermath of the latest attack. How galling. I hate these attacks, and I hate worse the spreading horror they create that we've been facing for years and that I could see splash the faces of the younger generation as we explained to them. It's poison between us. I can't help storing away tears for my 'enemies' behind a dam that will some day burst in a flood of my own bitterness, though in efforts to stem it, I'd like to bite my tongue that lashes against my most precious friends and doesn't stop at despoiling the innocent who don't need the ugly knowledge.

Meanwhile, the spectacle I'm making finally draws her attention, and as I run, her static image flitters in and out of my vision, weaving through the trees. She hasn't moved since she saw me, so I get closer and closer until I putter to a stop a few feet away from her. A single ray of sunlight penetrating the dim canopy alights upon her hair, no longer pink, though still quite lovely in it's original chestnut, and she seems for all the world to shine. I freeze.

As the intruder shattering her idyll, she must expect me to speak. "I, uh..." Damn I'm eloquent.

Still, her eyes start to shimmer as if I'd said something meaningful and she seems torn for a moment. Abruptly she swivels on her heel and turns her back to me, commanding, "Go away." I struggle for something to justify my actions. "But it's dangerous..." I say. She continues, more softly, "Please, I just need to be alone for a while..." her voice fading into a hoarse whisper by the last word.

Almost I turn once more to accommodate, I'll give her whatever she asks. Almost. No matter how muddled I was before, for this instant I know somehow beyond doubt that I can not leave. With inexplicable conviction I walk to close the gap between us.

I feel more than hear the words slipping from my own mouth in the same quiet she'd used. "Oh Mimi..." I rest my hand lightly on her shoulder. Still, I feel her tense up under it. She flings the hand away, whirling to face me for the briefest moment, and I see in her eyes the desperation to flee. I refuse to let her go, using that second to grasp her arm firmly. When she tries to pull away I secure a grip on the opposite arm, though one she could easily break if she really wanted.

But she looks ready to cry instead. "What do you want from me!" she cries out. Not bothering to consider how loaded that question is in this circumstance, I answer the first thing that comes to mind, "I want you to stay." That seems to balk her rampant temper. "How did you...?!" She stammers before managing to shut her mouth.

I guess I hit a nerve. That I know nothing about. All I know is how fragile she feels supported between my hands, and as much as I'd like to pull her in to lean on me, I know she needs to stand on her own. I want what's best for her, even, I force myself to recognize, if it's not my help. I drop my arms suddenly, pretending not to notice the way she stumbles.

"Mimi-chan, I can't admit to knowing anything about what you're thinking right now. I really don't know. look, I'm sorry for the way I snapped at you before, but," I pause for the lie, "you know, these missions are stressful for us and sometimes I let the pressure get the best of me." What an excuse for explaining away my longing and envy, for her purity! I continue blithely lest my resolve flag. "You're probably tired too, but we should stay together. We need you." Her face lights with an expression of pleasant surprise. That selfsame allure of incorruptible resiliency resurges. I gulp and finish lamely, "Uh, we need you to help us fight."

"Oh." she replies, looking, disappointed? Right. Wishful thinking. Turning away slightly, she comments, casually, though with a tinge of shame, "But I thought you didn't want to fight, Sora." Stranger and stranger.

"I don't." Oops, that just came out automatically. "But, uh, you know I think protecting this world is so much more important in the scheme of things than petty morality, and no stain on my conscience would compare to letting this world just be left unguarded. I thought we could handle it well enough without the others having to get dir-uh, involved, but what's done is done, and we need to be strong." I'm not sure if I believe that, but she needs this, doesn't she?

"Strong..." she repeats. "If you believe it, then it's... I'll do it..."

"No Mimi-chan! You have to believe it too! Or do what you believe in! Don't run away!" god, I'm such a hypocrite.

"But, I don't know! I'm scared! What if, I'm wrong, and everybody will just get hurt! I don't want it I-"

"Are you too cowardly to do what you think is right!" come on Mimi, come back to yourself, I can't carry this charade much longer. Please, I need you to have your surety, your happiness.

"I've hurt too many people already..."

"Then get off your ass and fix it you little twit because people sure as hell aren't going to forgive you for not having the nerve!" I want to cry as the harsh words escape me, I'm sorry Mimi-chan, these were meant for me, my own ugly self loathing used against you. I'm sorry. But I know this time I've gone to far as I see her cock back her arm in pain and shock.

I close my eyes and angle my head slightly downward and to the side, bracing for the slap I so thoroughly deserve, and am surprised when it doesn't come. Cautiously I reopen my eyes to see Mimi-chan looking just as surprised as I, hand still pulled back ready to slap. She meets my eyes without trace of anger, gesturing with her other hand and says, "Look Sora, there's fire!"

I look in the direction she pointed and see it, but in the meantime she grabs my hand and starts pulling me in a fire free direction out of the forest. As we approach the clearing, I can see the others, Yamato-kun and MetalGarurumon trying vainly to guard the rather helpless Taichi and Koromon, while Takeru and Hikari ride together in the sky on Pegasusmon and Nefertimon. The enemies seem a monstrous array with everything from airdramon to tyrannomon, and all sorts in between I don't recognize. Our Lillymon and Birdramon are holding their own corner in the sky, but seemed weakened without us. reading some of their moves, I stop and force Mimi behind me as quickly as I can, intending to shield her from an incoming Meteor Wing. The attack strikes the ground nearby, blowing us in the direction of the fray. I check if Mimi is all right but she seems a bit dazed, having broken some of the impact with the ground for me. My back aches with light burns, but I wait 'til she regains herself before trying to move.

By this time, our loyal digimon have oriented on us, and are coming to help, but unfortunately, so have some nearby unfriendly ones. Birdramon and Lillymon reach the air in front of us in time, but are swatted down by the powerful limbs of a Deltamon, which then advances its three-headed hunger toward Birdramon. NO! Mimi-chan has latched on to my arm tightly now, restraining me from foolishly running off to both my and Birdramon's deaths, but, I must do something before the unthinkable happens! One of the hand/maw's rushes towards birdramon, and I try with all my might to run, reach over there, something, but find it impossible to free myself from Mimi's iron like grasp. I can only scream.

"BIRDRAMON, DIGIVOLVE!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Look, I said, NO."

"I don't really think you have much of a say in this at all 'niichan."

"While I'm still the leader of this group I do. The digiworld will be fine. Don't worry your little head about it. We'll take care of it. Now finish your picnic and run on home, out of big brother's hair."

"Don't patronize me, especially when its obvious that you /do/ need our help. How am I supposed to not worry when you seem more concerned with your hair than the digital world. Besides, as far as I can remember, Daisuke-kun is our leader."

"Leave soccer boy out of this! When I say you're going home, I mean it, not just as the leader of the chosen but as your brother, so just forget this happened." There, that must have put her in her place.

"Who are you calling soccer boy? And how dare you ignore not only my own right to chose as an adult but also the welfare of this world just so you can feel like, a big man. All you'll end up doing is getting yourself killed because you were to stubborn too listen to us, and how do you think we'd feel then! Daisuke-kun might not be as bossy as you, but as a /leader/ he understands what's really important, like saving the world, or did you forget all about that too?"

Or maybe not. Damn, the stupid argument genes must run in the family. Takeru is fidgeting nervously while he watches our verbal match, and Yama's at my side, helping the cause with his trademark, cool stare. Sora and Mimi wandered off someplace a while ago. Anyway, there is no way in hell I'm backing down, specially when I'm right. And not to my little sister. Alright, time for a change of tactics.

"'Kari-chan," ha, pulling out the big guns now, time for an old fashioned guilt trip, "you know how dangerous this is, and I thought you of all people would understand how even if I think you're ready, it's not just up to me or you, this affects everyone we love too, and I promised our parents that I would protect this place so you wouldn't have to get involved. They want you at least to have a normal life, where you don't have to think about the fate of the world, just be yourself. They don't want to risk their baby girl." I resist the urge to smirk. "They almost lost us so many times before, and this is something I want to do, not for myself, but for all of you, because even if I owe our friends in the digiworld so much, I won't sacrifice my family." Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner. However, I just can't seem to resist to putting on my finishing touch. "Think about how you felt when I had to leave you behind to go back with Agumon 12 years ago. Do you want to make them feel that way?"

"That's how I feel now." DAMN! Argh, I sooo almost had that one. Great, now what do I do? The silence is getting conspicuous.

Meanwhile, Takeru takes the opportunity to jump in, "That's not the only issue here either. Surely both of don't expect us to give up the digital world, because by saying we shouldn't sign on with the government, in effect, that's what you're asking of us."

Thankfully, Yama takes this, "I'm afraid I agree with Taichi here, Takeru. Even if it does mean giving up the digital world, your safety is more important." I sigh a little at that one. I thought I'd never hear the words 'I agree with Taichi' come out of his mouth. But I should really trust him, he's loyal beyond belief, even if I give him every reason to question me. Hikari-chan's right, I'm not a great leader. He continues, "Besides, this isn't like before." His voice gets quieter, dropping into that rough range, where you can almost hear the air vibrate, it's so resonant. Drives me nuts. "Working for the government means doing things you don't exactly understand, it means working their agenda." Then he steps on my foot, really damn hard! I was so busy pretending not to pay attention to him I missed my cue. Sometimes I wonder why I bother, but if he knew how much I actually do care, I'd never live it down!

"Uh yeah, that is, uh..." I stall until I finally think of something, "right, we have to make some hard choices in this line of work guys, I saw what that did to all of you before, and neither of us wants to put guys through that. It's worse than never seeing the digiworld again." I say this even though I can't imagine what never returning here would be like. I can't believe I'm actually starting to waver here.

Hikari-chan looks me in the eye and says, "If it means protecting the digital world, the others will do it without hesitation. And you have no control over that 'niichan." Takeru does the same to Yamato, saying, "We will not abandon them." That one scored. Yamato's never quite forgiven himself for the mistake of leaving us years ago, and I'm sure we're both remembering how horrible that time without each other was. It's true, the others will no doubt, make deals, and it wouldn't be right to force them to give up on their friends. Argh, this is giving me a brain ache.

Well, the girl's got Yagami instincts all right, I think as she presses the advantage, "Oniichan, you don't have to be my keeper. We can beat them together, just like before, and we won't have to worry about holding our own because we'll all have each other." Takeru starts up right after, it's uncanny the level of cooperation those two have. "As a team, the twelve of us are the strongest force I've ever seen. Nothing else will stand a chance, not if we have all of us." I wish me and Yamato could be so congruous. His support means so much to me. Too bad I don't have it. Still I can see we've both given in.

"oh, all right. But I am not giving my job Daisuke. Don't get me wrong, I like the kid, he just hasn't got my style." I say. Hikari-chan gets a huge smile on her face, and jumps up to hug me. Takeru has moved to Yamato and manages to convince him to shake hands at least, even though he still looks grumpy. That's Yama for you, but we all know he's said yes as well. Damn squirts.

Our little make up party is cut short by a line of digimon breaking through the foliage, taking us by surprise. A cursory analysis reveals they've got some air support arriving in short order. Damn, I was a fool staying in the open here, where they knew our position, and now we've split up. I should have at least posted sentries, and where the hell are Mimi and Sora anyway? I see Lillymon and Birdramon not far off though, and they're gearing for battle as well.

"MetalGarurumon!" calls Yamato, and he mounts, swinging into position in front of me. Takeru and Hikari have their D-3's out, summoning Pegasusmon and Nefertimon. Setting Koromon down, I tell him, "Quick, digivolve!" There's a short sparkle, as he invokes Agumon's name, but it fades and he remains Koromon. "Koromon, no! Now is not a good time buddy!" He replies apologetically, "Sorry Tai, I'm just too tired from before." This is maddening, if only I hadn't been so stupid! "Don't worry about it Koromon, my fault." By this time, our siblings have already taken to the air, but remembering something important, I run towards them, shouting, "Hikari, use your D-terminal, call the others for help!" They don't seem to hear me, dammit, I have to get closer. I ground to a halt as MetalGarurumon bounds ahead of me. Yamato turns back to me with a severe expression. "Are you trying to get yourself fucking killed! Stay back you moron." He has time to finish just before they're upon us, and I instinctively follow his directives retreating into a small hollow in the ground behind him. From here I can pretty much survey the entire battle, seeing that MetalGarurumon is keeping a lot of the ground forces at bay with his Cocytus Breath, and battering anything tooth and nail that comes within range. Dammit, should be helping Yamato, somehow. Hikari and Takeru above are teaming up against the air monsters with their joint attacks, and using some of the forest to help obstruct the enemy. A distance away to our right Birdramon and Lillymon are holding their part of airspace, but are to besieged too reach us. I creep out a little, thinking there must be something I can do. In a second Yama and MetalGarurumon are there, and he's screaming at me again, "Get the hell back in that hole. I am not letting you die of your own stupidity." But this time I'm too damn mad to listen. And I nearly get squashed by an attacking monochromon. Faster than I can see, Yama and company toast it, but the rest are pressing us so hard he doesn't have time to bother with me for now. Koromon and I spot a few bakemon closing in on MetalGarurumon's back, so I, taking up a heavy tree branch, use it to smack one into the other, and Koromon uses the distraction of the collision to hit a medium sized tree with his bubble attack a few times, felling it on them. But things are coming in too fast and furious to think straight now.

While I'm in a short lull, I see Birdramon a Lillymon go down, fighting a deltamon. Oh shit, that's not gonna help. The deltamon goes straight for birdramon, and I start to call to Yama to get there, quick as possible, but before I open my mouth, a great light engulfs the giant firebird and it digivolves to Garudamon. Sora and Mimi must be over there! Garudamon creams the deltamon and they commence fighting a path over to us, and as they near, I can see two small figures clinging to Garudamon.

Intent on the girls, I had lost some concentration on the surrounding area, and turn back around when I hear a pained growl. Two tyrannomon had ganged up on MetalGarurumon and finally scored a telling blow, and as the wolf digimon fell back, it's energy seemed to float away and coalesce in the tiny form of Tsunomon, which Yama took in his arms before being spilled none too gently to the ground nearby. He seems to sit there paralyzed as the tyrranomon advance towards him, and before I know it, I'm rushing there, pushing myself harder as I watch the monster build up its finishing attack.

YAMATO!

A few feet away I make a desperate lunge as I spy the release of the attack, crushing against him hard and locking my arms about the first thing they can grasp. The force of my push carries us far enough so the attack strikes the ground behind us, and the attack's blast throws us into the air briefly, and we land in a tangle together, rolling and rolling.

It takes me a while to regain full perception, but as I do, I realize I'm still in a heap on the ground with Yamato. He seems a little more stunned at the impact than I, but he somehow managed to keep his grasp on Tsunomon. I finally notice that Koromon is bouncing worriedly near my head, somehow having bypassed that last attack.

Hey, if Koromon's by my head, what've I got my hands around that's sort of roundish and warm, firm but elastic. I squeeze experimentally. Yama stirs a little. My eyes widen for a second, and I hastily remove my hands before he wakes up and beats the crap out of me. I sigh, then wince, bad thoughts, bad!

Wait, how are we still alive? Then I see Hikari and Takeru a little ahead of us, having landed, while Garudamon and Lillymon have taken their spot in the air. Somehow, it seems they've beaten the enemy line back slightly, and with the kids dismounted, Nefertimon and Pegasusmon have taken the opportunity to return to Patamon and Tailmon, Angemon appearing seconds later. Then I see it, there's a strange shuffle within the horde, looking like a single digimon moving to the front. I, still holding Yamato, decide not to move and instead call out a warning, "Hikari, there's something str-"

She'd started to move toward me, away from Takeru, to hear better, but we both desist as there seemed to be a second charge mounting, and without bothering to change to Angewomon yet, Tailmon and Angemon move to force them back. But then the ripple I'd seen clears to the front, revealing, no, it can't be! Angemon and Tailmon who'd gathered near where Takeru was standing finally noticed the digimon. Demon. Heading straight for the area they'd vacated.

Their move as well as the coming air strike from Garudamon and Lillymon was too late to stop Demon's strange maneuver. I remember noting peripherally several shapes resembling Paildramon and Aquillamon and the like coming in behind us, but my attention was monopolized by Demon ahead of us, watching helplessly as he attacked, and my sister was backlit, then consumed in the darkness of a midnight black flame.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

End Chapter 2

A/N: ooooookay, so subtlety dissolved into nothingness. but if you ask me, just the fact that it got done-ish is enough. and i know its all really ooc, but, i tried my best. and i did manage a taito ass grab, just for you hopu. i guess i really have nothing else to say other than apologizing for its badness. done done done uh, just ignore me would you. oh and btw. i did /not/ kill off hikari (sorry hikari haters, i just dig hiyako too much to do that). also, this fic is going on hiatus for a while after this chap. because i'd like to write some other stories. not that anyone cares but i just thought i'd mention it.

A note on japanese words: I am not what most people would call a purist. i will not hesitate to use the words 'takeru' and 'digivolve' in the same sentence. (hmm, takeru digivolving, what an interesting idea. ack, this is when you know you need sleep)

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