Author's Note: This story includes a huge 'fade to black' part, marked within the story. If you want to read the complete story, please visit my profile on Ao3 under the pen name: Xandra73. If you like to skip the explicit content anyway, please stay here and enjoy!


„I'm more complicated than you might think. sir."

Ianto's statement still echoed in Jack's ears.

That was undeniably true. The evening had been a wild ride, and it had been hard to keep up with every twist and turn, but if Jack Harkness was one thing, it was flexible. He just hoped Ianto wouldn't regret his impulsive wish to spend the night together when the morning came.

His focus went back on Ianto, who stood in front of him, fiddling nervously with the keys to open the door to his flat, cursing silently.

„Everything alright?"

„Sure, I just...," at that moment, the key slid in, and Ianto successfully opened the door. „Okay...," he sighed, relieved and a bit steadier. „Please come in."

They both stepped through the door, and Ianto took Jack's coat to put it on the hanger next to the door. They took their shoes off, and Ianto led Jack into the living room.

„Sorry for the mess," Ianto mumbled while he looked around. He shrugged off his jacket and nervously loosened his tie.

From Jack's point of view, there was no mess at all. Maybe Ianto was referring to the still packed moving boxes stacked up the wall on one side of the living room or the empty coffee mug in the sink of the small open-plan kitchen that was nested in the corner by the large window to the garden. Other than that, the room was spotless. Too spotless for Jack's taste. He wondered how much time Ianto spent here compared to the hub.

"Furniture came with the flat. Lounge suite is new, was delivered last week," Ianto rambled on while he refolded a blanket and put it back on the couch. He looked around in search of what else he could rearrange.

"Hey, Ianto," Jack said in a calming voice, stopping the young man from walking around aimlessly by laying his hand on his arm. "Stop fidgeting, I lived in far worse places. Don't worry, it's all good."

„Want a beer?" Ianto wasn't done being nervous but tried his best to channel it into something more useful.

„Sure, why not."

A few minutes later, Jack had made himself comfortable on the black leather sofa while Ianto sat stiffly in the armchair, playing with the bottleneck of his beer.

Jack watched Ianto for a while, sipping at his beer, but it didn't seem like he wanted to initiate a conversation. „What's on your mind?" Jack inquired. „Second thoughts? If you want me to leave, just say so. We are not going to do anything you don't want to."

„No!" Ianto almost shouted with a panicked look in his eyes. Then a little calmer, „No, Jack, it's not that. Stay. It's just... so much has happened, my mind... my feelings... everything is a mess."

„Understandable. You know, maybe we shouldn't...," Jack started to get up.

„Sit! Jack, I told you I want you to stay," Ianto implored. „I can't..." he sighed and shook his head, „a bit more than an hour ago, I made the conscious decision to leave you in the hands of alien slave traders, and now we're sat here drinking a beer." Ianto stopped for a few seconds, trying to find the right words. „My mind is still trying to catch up with everything."

Jack wanted to say something, but Ianto signalled him with a little wave that he wasn't finished.

„I need to feel something other than pain and emptiness. I need... this. I've been a mess since Lisa died," Ianto's voice turned bitter. „People might say I was messed up before, but it's been especially hard since that day. My purpose to keep going was gone. I convinced myself I had nothing left. Nothing but Torchwood. And I don't know what to do with it."

„All of us tried to talk to you, you could've come to us," Jack interjected.

„I know you did, but I... why is there always this need to talk about everything? Shouldn't it be obvious? Why does everything have to be spelt out? Talking hurts!" an angry tone crept into Ianto's voice.

„Ianto," Jack tried to calm the young man down. „I think you have no idea how hard it is to read you. What you want, what you need. If you're really distressed, you get emotional, but most of the day? You are entirely unreadable. You have to open up a bit more and share what's happening inside you. Sharing your emotions is not a weakness. I'm your friend. The whole team is, even Owen... I think. Well, I hope. We can talk about anything that bothers you."

„Maybe," Ianto said hesitantly. „I just never did that before. It's not what I do. When I left you in the hands of The Savior, I thought I was finally free and could start fresh. Outside The Ferret, when I had a minute to think about everything, I realised... nothing had changed. I'm still me. And all the hate I had been channelling into you... it had just been a deflection of whom I really blame. Myself," a sob escaped Ianto's throat. „That moment when I thought you had died too," Ianto ran his hand over his face in desperation at the memory, „...I realized how much I cared... I don't know what I would've done. Everyone I care for dies, and I'm still here..."

„Hey, Ianto," Jack said gently and patted the empty spot next to him „get over here. Sit with me." He had to reign the young man in, or the evening would end in a mental breakdown.

Ianto just nodded and abandoned his seat on the armchair to sit next to his boss on the sofa. He avoided looking at Jack and stared down at the beer bottle he kept firmly in his hands.

Jack used his index finger to lift Ianto's chin so they looked directly at each other. He smiled and suggested: „Maybe you've done enough self-blaming for today. If you want to spend the night with me, we won't talk about this anymore. Understood?"

Ianto nodded and placed the bottle on the table. He pressed his palms into his eyes and rubbed some confusion out of them. „You're right. I didn't mean to turn this into such an emotional outburst. My mind is racing, and it's hard to focus. So what do we do..." Ianto started to say, but Jack used the moment to capture the young man's lips and kissed him gently. He felt Ianto stiffen for a second, but the moment was gone instantly, and he kissed him back.

It was a tender kiss to help Ianto calm down and concentrate on the moment.

„Does that help to focus?" asked Jack with a smirk when their lips parted.

„Definitely," Ianto let out a short laugh.

Ianto had said he didn't want to talk so much, but Jack felt they should. „Tell me what you want to do."

Ianto let out an impatient groan. „See, that's one of these things that should be obvious. I want to have sex with you. Can't we just get on to it?"

„We agreed for one night and I think we should do it right. So we take our time," Jack scolded softly. He didn't want to sound like a teacher.

Ianto rolled his eyes.

„Don't roll your eyes. I'm serious, let's talk about this first," Jack replied sternly.

Ianto sighed but gave in. „What do you want to talk about?"

„Is this your first time?" No reason to beat around the bushes.

„Uhm...," Ianto looked down at his hands. „I have slept with Lisa."

„No, I mean with a man."

„Yes."

„Ever wanted to try, or did I your mind?" Jack couldn't suppress a foolish grin.

Ianto let his gaze wander, while pondering the question. „Definitely fancied some good-looking guys and girls alike, had a few crushes at Torchwood One. But aside from a girlfriend in my teens, there was just Lisa. So I've maybe fancied guys, but I never thought about trying... this," Ianto gestured vaguely.

„What is 'this'?" Jack smirked.

Ianto shifted his focus back to Jack and looked at him steadily. „Sleeping with a man. Sex with you. I think I might like it," a little smile appeared on Ianto's lips, and he looked bolder now. „And please, let's do this for real now."

A huge grin spread over Jack's face. He was going to enjoy this. You want to do this for real, Ianto Jones? Strap yourself in.

Jack placed his hands gently on the back of Ianto's head to pull him closer. Their lips met for another gentle kiss. Jack felt their noses touch and Ianto's breath on his skin while their lips moved together as their kiss deepened.

Ianto's hands gripped his hips tightly, one hand moving tentatively up his spine, gaining a grip on his shoulder. Being this close in each other's personal space created an emotional connection, and it felt exhilarating.

When Jack's tongue made contact with Ianto's teeth, they opened eagerly and allowed him in. Their tongues were dancing around each other, exploring each other's mouths. Jack had often wondered how it would be to kiss Ianto, and he turned out to be a skilled kisser. A moan escaped his throat, and he felt a smile spreading across Ianto's face. Soft and hungry lips were discovering his own, and Jack felt hot arousal shoot through his body. They held on as long as possible but eventually had to break the kiss to catch their breaths.

Ianto's face was flushed, and his eyes were glazed over. They were definitely both enjoying this.

„Why don't you go ahead into the bedroom," Jack suggested gently. „I'll get some stuff from my coat and join you in a minute."

Ianto nodded with expectant eyes and disappeared into the adjoining room. Jack got the bottle of lube he always had with him and some packs of condoms. Ianto should have every option available. Then he followed the Welshman to the bedroom.


Fade to black - if you want to read the full version, please visit my profile on Ao3.


Both lay there motionless, sprawled on their backs, trying to recuperate for a few moments. Jack slowly opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He was quite a bit stunned by what had just happened. „Wow," was all he got out. This was supposed to be Ianto's night, but that orgasm had been something else. He definitely couldn't complain. He slowly turned around to see how the young Welshman was doing. Like him, Ianto lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. „Are you alright?" Jack asked softly. No answer. He waited a couple more moments before speaking again. „Ianto? Everything okay?" he wasn't sure if he should be worried.

„What the hell just happened? I think you destroyed my mind," Ianto eventually said with awe in his voice, still staring straight up. „That's the most intense sensation I ever felt..." he fell silent again. Jack didn't dare to speak, so he waited, but he couldn't keep a pleased grin from his face.

After a while, Ianto turned on his side and looked at Jack. „That was fucking incredible, sir." Jack leaned forward and captured Ianto's lips in a tender kiss. When their lips parted, Jack whispered. „You didn't do too bad yourself, Mr Jones." Jack licked himself over the lips and smiled. „I think you're a natural."

Exhausted, Ianto moved into Jack's embrace, and they just lay there for a while, enjoying each other's presence. They were both completely spent, and Ianto fell asleep in Jack's arms shortly after.


Jack had dozed off, too, because, for a moment, he needed to reorient himself and wondered where he was. He lay in bed in an unfamiliar room with something heavy on his chest. He turned his head around and slightly shifted his body. This caused a small huff from the weight on top of him, which also moved slightly and snuggled into him more tightly.

Ianto Jones.

Everything came back to Jack in a rush when the fog of sleep cleared his mind. They had spent the night together. For a moment, Jack closed his eyes and suppressed a groan. He should have declined. But Ianto had been so desperate. He'd really wanted it. Jack wasn't the type who was capable of saying no under such circumstances.

Jack had promised Ianto one night, and then they would return to how it had been. He had relationships within Torchwood in the past, and none of them had ended well. He had promised himself not to do it again and intended to keep this promise. But damn, it had been amazing. Just thinking about last night, let his cock stir. Stop this, Jack admonished himself. Thinking with his dick always caused trouble.

The sun wasn't up yet, but it was already early morning. He had to leave before Ianto woke up. Staying for breakfast would send out all the wrong signals, and he didn't want to play with the young man's feelings any more than he already had. He placed a feather-light kiss on the top of Ianto's head and carefully untangled himself from his embrace. Ianto groaned in protest from being moved around but didn't wake up.

He looked so young and peaceful in the pale moonlight that shone through the window. The blanket had slid down a bit and pooled around his hip. Jack longed to touch and caress his soft skin, but he didn't dare wake him up.

Jack dressed, barely making a sound. At the bedroom door, he looked back one more time. See you later, Ianto Jones. Back in the real world, Jack thought with a tang of sadness. He closed the door, tiptoed through the corridor, grabbed his coat and shoes, and vanished into the night.


Ianto arrived at the hub shortly after 7 am. As usual, he was the first to come in. He always tried to be first, so he had enough time to clean up yesterday's mess and brew a fresh batch of coffee before his teammates arrived. Today he was especially thankful for the silence that greeted him after the cogwheel door had closed.

There was a storm raging in his mind. Last night was whirling through his head, and he had trouble getting all his thoughts and feelings in order. He tried to make sense of how he felt. He had wished to fill the emptiness inside him with something good. Something exciting. But what he got almost blew his mind. After waking up and standing in the shower, he searched for words that expressed his feelings adequately, but he couldn't find anything adequate. The emptiness was gone, and something livelier than a wildfire was burning inside him. Ianto wondered if Jack knew what he did for him last night.

When he woke up to find Jack gone, he hadn't been surprised. A dramatic departure was kind of fitting for Jack. What did surprise him was how lonely he suddenly felt in his own flat. They had agreed on one night only, and Ianto understood Jack's reasons. Maybe it was the right decision, but he couldn't deny he wished he could turn back time to do it again.

With a sigh, Ianto went into the kitchenette and prepared the coffee for Jack and himself. He saw the light was on in Jack's room. He was already working. Ianto took the two steaming mugs and went into the office. With his right foot, he expertly closed the door while balancing the mugs in his hands.

„Good morning, sir," Ianto greeted his boss, who sat at his desk reading some papers and handed over one of the mugs.

Jack smiled and raised his head. „Good morning, Ianto." He took the offered mug and took a delighted sip. „Was looking forward to my first cup of coffee today," Jack said and looked at Ianto searchingly. Ianto realized that Jack was seeking confirmation that everything was alright between them.

„You could've had one at my flat," Ianto realized more and more how much he would have wanted that.

Jack shook his head. „As much as I would have enjoyed that, we had an agreement."

„Yeah... you are right of course, we had. I really appreciate what we did. Thank you for last night," Ianto smiled at him. Jack was relieved and happy about the answer. He grinned and gave Ianto a wink.

„My pleasure."

Suddenly the noise of the cogwheel-door opening sounded through the hub. The others were about to arrive, and Ianto excused himself.

When he closed the door to Jack's office behind him, he just stood there for a moment to compose himself.

He really needed to find a way to change Jack's mind. They had to do this more often.

- fin -