Even more inane silliness from me, aren't you happy

Even more inane silliness from me, aren't you happy?

A Weiss Kreuz Fairy Tale part 2

By Kim

"Where the hell are we?"

"How the fuck should I know?!"

"Well, it's your friggin' kingdom!!"

"Just cause I live here doesn't mean I know where I am!!"

"Don't yell at me!!"

"I'll yell at you if I feel like it, bitch!!"

"BITCH?! Fuck you!!"

"You wish you could fuck me!!"

"I'd rather fuck a tree!!"

"Well, there's the same tree we've passed for the past four hours. I'm sure you consider that enough time to know something before you fuck it, go at it!!"

And with that, Prince Yohji threw down his pack and kneed Prince Aya right in the groin.

"AHH!! Whore!! You hurt Lil' Aya!!"

"Lil' Aya??? Oh my fucking God!! Wait till the kingdom hears about that!"

"STOP IT YOU TWO IMBECILES!!!!" Elf Omi screamed in his high clear voice. The two arguing royals both turned and furiously glared at him. He smiled sheepishly, making his cute little elven ears seem even pointier. "We need to keep quiet."

Sir Farfarello watched the arguing dispassionately, he was busy with his own thoughts of death and dismemberment, and he had a strange craving for popcorn. "Does popcorn hurt God? It does foil diets..."

Elf Omi shook his head, took a deep breath, and began to explain. "I understand you are princes who are unused to such matters but we need to keep quiet because we are in dragon country. If we make big noise, dragon come. If dragon come, dragon eat us. We die. Understand?"

The two princes both rolled their eyes.

"So? Let's get going. I really use some time along in a dark room to ponder life."

"I could use a nice drunk chick with big..."

"Will you stop thinking with your god damned dick?"

"Well, at least I'm thinking with something!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"You know what I mean!!"

"We need to be quiet, there could be a......DRAGON!!!!!!!!!" screamed Omi as he quickly knocked Prince Yohji out of the path of flame that shot from the mouth of the huge black dragon that had somehow appeared out of nowhere while the shouting match was taking place.

Prince Aya was clutching Cuddles with visibly shaking hands. Sir Farfie looked almost turned on and smiled as he drew his sword, and Omi and Prince Yohji looked at each other and winced. They realized that if any of them were to survive, they would have make sure Sir Farfarello stopped at only killing the dragon.

Back at Schuldig's Castle ~ Duh Duh Duh ~

"Oh fuck me" he though to himself, because standing before him was without a doubt the single most fuckable, most desirable, most jump worthy, most swoon inducing, most, ok, I'll stop now but you get my drift, man he had ever laid eyes upon. He was sort of tall, kind of skinny but lean and lithe, like a panther or some other type of jungle cat. His hair was a messy burst of bright orange red which hung to his shoulders, and his eyes were a wicked shade of jade. He was dressed all in black as well, the leather pants he was wearing definitely indecently tight. Prince Bradley doubted few men would be comfortable in them.

The man chuckled rather evilly. "Well, who am I to deny a prince what he wants?" He said in that nasal voice of his, a predatory grin creeping across his generous mouth. Ok, I'm having a little bit too much fun describing Schu, a storyteller should be able to get her kicks too. Besides, I like him and it's my tale I'm unfolding, so deal with it. "So, how you like it? Hard, fast, and against a wall perhaps? Oh wait, you wouldn't know." Schuldig snickered.

"What?! How could you possibly know....forget that! And just because I have no time or interest in petty dalliances means nothing!! I am a prince, and I demand you release me at once. If you so much as lay one finger on me..." Prince Bradley was quickly getting cough ahem flustered under Schu's intense gaze.

"You'll what?" He questioned as he moved closer to the quickly retreating prince.

"It won't be pleasant! What have you done with my servant? And you do realize that people need at least three feet of personal space to feel comfortable?" He shot back, feeling a bit more like himself.

"Who said you were supposed to be comfortable?" He had by now clearly violated his personal bubble, and Brad kept on backing up, hating himself for this show of weakness but not willing to stay within reach of the red haired devil before him, that was until he felt something cold against his back and realized it was the stone wall.

Brad gulped.

Schu placed a hand on either side of his head.

Brad whimpered.

Schu leaned forward.

Brad squirmed.

Schu laughed. "For future reference, I like it when they squirm. Makes it more fun."

Brad stopped squirming.

Schu laughed harder, and then without warning pounced like the aforementioned jungle cat, quickly claiming his lips with his own, forcing Bradley's mouth open with his tongue as he pressed his body up against the prince's. For about 1.5 nanoseconds there were ponderances of fighting back, then the logical part of Brad's brain kicked in. Hey, if he was gonna be abducted by some evil figure, at least he was hot, and if he felt like having his wicked way with him, he might as well enjoy it. And have that very secretly guarded virginity problem taken care at the same time. How had the other man known that anyway?

While the Prince Bradley waged his internal struggle and debate, Schuldig had stopped kissing him and was slowly working his way down Brad's very sensitive neck. He was broken from his thoughts when Schu found his pulse point, and began to suck on it hard before biting it. Brad simply moaned as he decided to just turn his brain off altogether. Schuldig worked his way across Bradley's collarbone, licking, sucking, and nibbling on every bit of supple flesh he encountered, before quickly snapping his fingers and making that pesky shirt disappear. Brad had a rather nice chest for a snotty prince and Schu grinned up at him, green eyes shining and promising many wicked things as he dipped his head lower, preparing to take on pert little nipple in his mouth and OH MY GOD!!! Where the hell does this filth come from? I know I didn't write this. Better skip over this part. Better yet, let's rewrite some of it.

Brad squirmed.

Schu laughed. '"For future reference, I like it when they squirm, makes it more fun."

Brad stopped squirming.

Schu laughed harder, and just as quick as he was in his personal bubble, he was out of it. "Hope you don't mind, but it's time we had some fun. I hope you like pain."

Brad fainted.

Wait a minute. That just sucks. Hmm, Brad sees him, Schu makes sexual innuendo, Brad gets afraid but remains strong, wonders where his servant is...got it!!

After backing him against the wall, Schu grabbed Brad's arm and forcefully drug him along with him through a series of dark corridors before finally reaching a heavy wooden door. Schuldig easily opened it, and inside sat a very afraid Ken, curled into a ball in a corner, while some horrible music played.

Prince Bradley could make out the words.

What a girl wants, what a girl needs....

"NO!! Stop that horrendous wailing, I'll do anything!" Brad asked, cause he didn't beg, Schuldig to make the pain go away.

"Anything?" He raised an eyebrow.

Brad looked a little pale, but nodded his head. "Anything." He adjusted his glasses, regaining some of his former glarefulness. Schu was amused, so he quickly made the torture music go away, and Ken was magically placed in a comfy bed that

appeared in the cell, in a peaceful sleep.

"We're leaving now."

End Part Two

TBC