"Where did that doctor guy go? I knew I shouldn't have trusted him! I'm the only one that can be trusted!" I mumbled as I walked frantically around the table with Lise on it.

She was dying, and I could do nothing for her. I, Seamus Zelazny Harper, had no control for a change, and it was killing me. On Andromeda, I could always fix something to make her work again. I wished more than anything Trance was here. She had always been the queen of miracles, and I sure could've used one. Lise meant more than anything to me, and I would have given almost anything to help her. Whoever captured us must've had a death wish because everyone knows not to cross me like this. I didn't spend twenty years on that hell hole called Earth by being Santa's little helper. I know how to get exactly what I want, and I've always been damn good at it.

"Shay..." A soft murmur of the nickname Del had given me pulled me out of my thoughts of revenge.

"Lise!" I almost tripped over my own two feet rushing to the head of the table.

"It hurts...things aren't looking good are they?" She coughed and then groaned painfully.

"Everything's going to be fine, sweetheart. I'm right here, and help's on the way." I hated lying to her, but I didn't want to force her to bear the truth.

"No, everything's not going to be fine...I know I'm not going to be here much longer." The luster was fading from her green eyes. Her usual optimistic glow had disappeared.

"No! You're going to be with me for a very long time. I won't let anything happen to you!" It was difficult to hold back the tears. In all my years of pain and hardship, I cried in front of very few people. I didn't plan to start crying in front of more.

"It's okay. I accept it. It's been a fun ride, but everything has to end sometime."

"You know that I love you, right?" I couldn't remember if I had told her before or not. It was a good of a time as any if I hadn't.

"I love you, too, Shay. I always will." She smiled. "But everyone that needed me has been gone for thousands of years. You've got to be strong."

I just nodded and swallowed all the pain that was welling up in my heart. She didn't know how weak I could be, especially when it came to her and Del.

"You really do mean everything to me." She tried to push herself up slightly.

"Don't try to move. You know how much you mean to me. But please don't leave me yet. You're so young, and there's still so much you have to see, like the gal-"

"Shut up and kiss me," she interrupted.

I obliged, kissing her gently. Her lips were still warm and alive. It was hard to believe she was dying from this perspective, hard to believe any of this had happened at all. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me more passionately. Her lips separated from mine for a moment and whispered, "Four dash seventeen. You'll have another chance." She kissed me again, and I heard her take a final breath. There wasn't another for ten, then twenty seconds. I left her arms wrapped around me, her lips on mine. I couldn't let the moment end.

"Harper!" Beka's voice behind me caused me to jerk up.

"Boss! Do you have any medical equipment?" I knew it still wasn't too late.

"Yeah." She ran up to Lise and began doing what she could for her.

'Four dash seventeen,' I pondered momentarily. I threw it to the back of my mind and decided to think about it later when Lise was feeling better. She wouldn't die. I refused to let her.

"Harper, nothing's reviving her. She's gone..." Beka said gently.

"No! She can't be dead, not yet. There must be something we can do!" I rushed to Lise's side and began the old Earth technique of recessitation, CPR. With each breath I delivered to her and each chest compression to her lifeless body, I was losing more and more hope.

It was futile, I realized, and dropped to my knees sobbing. I no longer cared if Beka could see me crying. I lost the love of my life for the second time. No one should be forced to go through that. Ever.

"Seamus." I felt Beka's hand on back as she kneeled down beside me. I knew it hurt her to lose Lise, too. Even though she generally disliked children, Lise had been in some way different for her. The way they talked earlier had shown me that.

"Beka, why did she have to die?" I moved into her embrace, my tears falling onto her shoulder.

"I don't know. A lot of things in life aren't fair."

I couldn't tell how much time had passed, but eventually my tears ran dry. I stood on my own two feet again and looked at the shell that had been Lise. I brushed my fingers across her cool arm. It hurt immensely to see her like that. It drove my sarcasm and humor, every portion of my usual shield, out the window.

"Beka, can we take her with us, y'know give her the kind of burial she deserves?" I didn't want that doctor guy that was supposed to save her to have her and use her in some weird experimenting.

"Of course. The Maru's not far from here."

We lifted her body and carried it out of the back of the building. The Maru was waiting no more than twenty or thirty yards away. I wondered how Beka had found us, but asking questions was for later. I was too preoccupied with what had just happened to really care. We entered the Maru and put her body on one of the spare beds. Beka returned to the cockpit and started our trip back to Andromeda. I stared at Lise for a while before joining Beka.

"Are you all right, Harper?" Beka asked as I plopped down into seat beside her.

"Not right now. But are we ever really all right? It's just a façade to mask all the pain. Life really sucks when it's starting to get kinda good again."

"Yeah. If you want to talk about it, you know I'm always here for you."

I could see Andromeda out of the view screen. "Thanks, Beka."

"Permission to board," Beka said after she opened the communications line.

"Permission granted," Rommie's voice said.

We entered the Hangar Deck and landed, but Beka remained seated in the pilot's chair, watching me. "How did you find us?" I eventually asked.

"Tyr came and took care of your captors. They're both in V-deck right now. I eventually found your cerebral port frequency, but I'll tell you, it sure wasn't easy."

"Yeah." I was still lacking in the words department.

Beka unstrapped herself and stood. "I'm sure Dylan will want to debrief you when you're ready, but I think you should get something to eat and a little rest now."

I nodded and trudged off of the Maru. I roamed the corridors for some time before winding up at the door to my quarters. I entered, finding everything as I had left it. It somehow felt that something should be different, but I couldn't place my finger on exactly what. I pulled off my shirt and smelled it. Under the dirt and grime on it, I could smell Lise. The tears were finding their way back again. I quickly finished undressing and turned on the shower. I let the water get too hot and scald me a little bit. It made me feel more alive than I had since Lise died, awakened my dulled senses.

I turned off the water after at least half an hour had passed and grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist. I was too exhausted to dry myself, and I just plopped down onto my bed, still wet. Sleep came surprisingly easily...

*****

"Harper, please wake up!"

My eyes opened reluctantly. I looked up to see Trance standing over me.

"It's been almost forty hours, plus who knows how long down on the planet, and you haven't eaten anything!"

'Hunger,' I thought. My stomach wasn't asking for any food. "I don't feel much like eating, Trance. Thanks anyways, though."

"I even made you some soup, your favorite!" She smiled sweetly.

"That herb and chicken one?" I could smell something good in the air.

"Yep! But you might wanna get dressed first."

I glanced down and saw I was completely naked. 'What about the towel?' I saw the towel on the floor next to my bed. The implications suddenly occurred to me of Trance being there, and my clothes not. "Crap!" I grabbed the towel and covered myself. "So did you enjoy watching me...all of me?" I asked sarcastically.

She giggled. "Eat your soup, Harper, before it gets cold."

I pulled the blankets on my bed over me and began eating the soup slowly. I kept pushing the fact that Lise was gone out of my mind. I wasn't ready to face it. She meant too much to me to let go of her yet.

"How are you feeling?" Trance seated herself on the edge of my bed.

"I've been better, like that time I had radiation poisoning and almost died." I didn't mean to be so sardonic.

"Oh." She took my soup tray when I finished it. "I hope you feel better soon." She hugged me.

"Thanks, Trance." I sighed. "Is Dylan begging to talk to me yet?"

"No. He said he doesn't want to push you. You can wait until you're ready."

"What's Beka been saying about all this?"

"That you're upset, and that's understandable. Oh! I almost forgot! We got you something." She smiled as she rushed across my quarters and pulled something out from behind a bureau. It was a new surfboard, the one that I'd been admiring for a very long time.

"Wow! I've been trying to get my hands on a Trivani Blue Lightning for a year!" I hopped out of bed, clutching the towel to my waist while running like a kid in a candy store. Attached to the board was a ticket for me to compete in a big surfing contest on Aurelius Prime in a month. "And I wanted to be in this competition, too!"

"Aurelius is considering becoming a Commonwealth planet, and Dylan pulled a few strings to set up the negociations to coincide with the competition."

"Thanks!" I felt better for a few minutes, until the memories of surfing with Lise returned to my mind. Everything seemed to remind me of her, which made it all the harder to temporarily forget.

"Do you think you're up to taking a walk down to Hydroponics with me?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute to slip some clothes on."