Author's Note: It's not over yet, folks. One more chapter after this one to tie up a couple of loose ends that I left on purpose. Hope you enjoy it.



Flowers are the gift that spans generations. When you're born, if you're lucky, someone gives you or your mom flowers. Then, on your birthdays, you get flowers sometimes. When you get really sick, people usually bring flowers to wish you well. After you discover the joys of girls, or guys, you show your feelings by giving flowers as a gift. When you graduate from whatever school you've gone to, you get flowers to give you luck and congratuations in the future. Then, when you win surfing contests, if you're like me, you get a lei made of flowers put around your neck. When you finally find that special someone, you're absolutely surrounded by flowers at your wedding. The flowers keep on coming. Finally, when life ends, you're surrounded by flowers again. That was how my mind wandered back to Lise while I was in Hydroponics. Trance had hurried off to get some equipment to fix a bonsai or some other plant that I accidentally stepped on. At least she wasn't as upset as she had been when I 'borrowed' Walter from her.

I had been walking slowly around the perimeter of the plants and found myself back at the small pool at the center of the roses and other pretty flowers I couldn't name if my life were on the line. It was crystal clear, and I could see my reflection. I kneeled, resting my arms on my thighs, to get a better view. I didn't look like the same Harper that I always looked in the mirror and saw before. There were dark rings under my eyes, and I looked a little bit malnourished. Memories of Earth started to flood my mind again, but they were easy to cast aside compared to Lise. 'I wonder what she'd say if she saw me like this...prolly kiss away all my hurt. Maybe we would have had the opportunity to get to know each other a little better. Even though it was hell, that prison cell was our best time together. I know so much more about her than I did before then.' The tears were fighting to fall again. I wouldn't let them. Trance would be back soon, and crying in front of her would probably make her cry in the end.

"I like to look at myself in the water, too." Trance laid a hand on my shoulder.

"I never really noticed it before now." I pulled myself to my feet again.

"It's one of the prettiest places on Andromeda. You can see the flowers, too, if you turn your head the right way."

I moved my head a little bit and saw my reflection surrounded by the flowers. "Yeah, you can."

After a couple of uncomfortable silent seconds, Trance said, "Beka said she wanted to talk to you. She's down in Med Deck." She started heading towards the door.

I wondered why Beka wanted to talk to me. Several different things occurred to me, all relating to the mission and the time I had spent on Utrecht. Was I ready to talk about it all yet? I guess I'd just have to go with Trance and find that out for myself. I cried in front of Beka before, doing it again didn't appeal to me, but what happened would happen. Things could be much worse than that.

The Med Deck doors slid open, and I saw Beka waiting for me. She hopped up from one of the chairs near the door. "I wasn't sure you'd come, Harper. It's good to see you out of your quarters."

"I can only deny you my presence for so long." I offered her a feigned half-smile.

"You're feeling better than you were before?" Beka headed over to a table and grabbed a couple of dresses.

"I guess." I really didn't know what to tell her. I wasn't feeling much of anything, other than a numbing pain.

"Which of these do you like the best?" Beka held up a long, flowing white gown and a formal black one that looked like it belonged on a witch in mourning.

"Neither one of them are your style." I sighed, knowing they weren't for Beka. I just didn't want to face what they really were for. "I think the white one's best."

"Me too...does tomorrow morning sound all right for the services?" She placed the dresses on the counter beside her and stood next to me.

"Yeah. We can't put it off forever." Saying goodbye had never been a favorite thing of mine. I preferred something more temporary, like 'See you around.' But this wasn't just temporary. This was it, and I couldn't handle that yet. "Is there anything that needs to be fixed?"

"Everything's in perfect working order...and even if there was, I wouldn't tell you," Beka said.

"Well, then what am I supposed to do in the mean time?" I needed something to get my mind off of this. Anything.

"Get some rest, eat a feast, go play a game of one-on-one with Dylan. Do whatever you feel like doing."

"All righty, Beka. I can do that." I walked out of Med Deck and headed straight towards the nearest Machine Shop.

I walked up to the door, but it didn't open. "Rommie, is the door broken?"

"No, I have been ordered not to allow you access." She appeared on the console beside the door.

"By who? And why?"

"By Dylan because you are in no condition to be performing repairs."

"C'mon, Rommie. You know I'd never hurt you. I'm as up to repairs as I've ever been."

"You'd never hurt me intentionally. However, when someone is in your emotional state, they may unintentionally cause damage."

I sighed. She would argue all night long if it came to that, especially since Dylan gave her that order. "Whatever you say, Rommie."

I headed towards Hydroponics for some one-on-one basketball with Dylan. I had only played the game a couple of times, but at least it was a distraction. I found him there, shooting from the free throw line.

"Harper! It's good to see you up and around again. What brings you here?" He approached me, dribbling the ball the entire way.

"You wanna play one on one?" I already knew I'd lose to him.

"Sure. You're up to it?"

"'Course I am." I took the ball from him while it was in mid-dribble and shot it towards the hoop. It barely even hit the backboard. Ouch.

Dylan rebounded it, and shot it back up. "Two to nothing."

The game continued that way until the score was thirty-six to two. The only reason I had those two points was because he let me shoot from right near the basket for a foul shot, even though there wasn't a real foul. Just pity for my ineptness at the game. I had about enough. Dylan was good, and I just sucked.

"You win, Dylan." I leaned over and caught my breath.

"It was a good game. You didn't do too bad."

"I didn't even really score any points, only your pity points."

"You don't play much. I practice a lot."

"The only person on this crew that wouldn't beat me is Rev, and that's 'cause he'd break the ball with his claws and have to forfeit."

Dylan laughed. "You're not that bad."

I didn't really have any more comments about basketball, so I figured now was as good of a time as any. "Can I start being an engineer again now?"

"You're still an engineer, but I don't think you're ready to do any repairs yet. Maybe the day after tomorrow." His voice was firm, and it would be no use arguing him with him when he was like this.

"Let me guess. Until then I should just do whatever?" I was hoping that he'd tell me there was something specific for me to do.

"Yeah."

I didn't really feel ready to talk about what happened on Utrecht, but I wasn't sure if I could talk about it all after tomorrow. "Do you want me to tell you about my misadventures on Utrecht?"

"If you're ready to talk about it. If you're not, then it can wait." His concern was evident, and I was a little surprised. He'd always been so about business and being the exemplary captain.

"Yeah, I think I'd better do this now. Do you want me to start where Beka left off in telling you?"

"We can go to my quarters first, sit down and get comfortable."

Dylan grabbed two towels from the edge of the court and tossed me one. I followed him to his quarters. Every nerve in my body was telling me I was going to regret doing this, but I ignored it. Dylan seated himself in a chair, and I plopped down in the chair across from him.

"I guess you want me to start with being abducted?"

He nodded.

"Well, Lise had a bad feeling about going into the bathroom alone, and even though I didn't wanna do it, I went in with her. Her feeling was right, and I heard her scream so I ran over to where she was. There were these cloaked guys. I tried to rescue her, which was kinda stupid since there were three of them and only one of me. They managed to knock me out without much trouble."

"Did you see their faces or anything that would indicate their identities?"

"Nope. They were cloaked, as I said, and didn't even say a word. I woke up in a pitch black prison cell." I decided to leave out all personal details. He didn't need to know a lot of the stuff that happened between me and Lise. "I found that Lise was there, too. We tried to find a way out, without success. Eventually, we knocked down a curtain covering the window and found that there was a corpse in the cell. We fell asleep and our captors took Lise away. While she was gone, I made a bomb and placed it in the window. We needed to get out of there before someone got hurt."

"How did you make the bomb?"

"I found an old Earth electronical device that had wiring in it in Lise's jacket pocket. And that corpse had some stuff on him that proved quite useful...well, they brought back Lise, and had given her a cerebral port. She wasn't doing very well. I set off my bomb, and we left. The walls were made of lodestone, and I took some to mask our port from any searches our captors might've tried to do. I found a cave, and we hid there. But some evil monster creature lived there, and wasn't exactly happy we were in his humble abode. So we ended up running away, straight into a girl that said she knew where we could get help. She took us to her town, not bothering to mention it was considered blasphemy to have technology. Lise was getting really sick. The doctor didn't have anything to help us, and I forced him to get some technology. I have no clue what happened to him. But Lise..." I swallowed my tears and pain. "Died. Then, Beka came. And you know what happened from there."

"Were you and Lise seriously romantically involved?"

I was expecting a lot of questions, but not that. What was I supposed to tell him? "Ummm....we didn't do much more than kiss. Why?"

"I won't lie to you. Trance did the post-mortem scans, to determine the cause of death, and she found that Lise was a couple of days pregnant."

I wanted to kill whoever did that to her. She told me she was saving herself for marriage or something really special and out of this world. "It wasn't me. That's for sure. And she hadn't even had a boyfriend before she came here."

"We think we know who did it. We just have to finish the genetic scans."

"You have the bastards that held us in that cell and killed her?" I vaguely remembered Beka saying something, but I was too out of it to really remember. It all seemed like a dream.

"Yes, we do...but there's nothing that will be helped by you seeing them. We are returning them to their homeworld to be tried. They take the crimes committed very seriously, and we have more than enough proof to offer them."

I was beyond angry. I wanted to wreak havoc upon those evil men. They had hurt me more than words could say, and even worse, they killed my Lise. They raped my Lise. And only god knows what else they've done to her. Dylan was very wise to keep me away from them. There wouldn't be much left to be tried when I was done with them.

"You should get some rest before tomorrow. I think I have all the details I need."

"You're right. I'll be in my quarters."

I walked to my quarters and changed into what I usually wore to bed--my favorite boxers. I couldn't sleep, but I didn't feel much like moving. I pondered what my future with Lise would've been like. I could see a beautiful wedding in my mind, down the road a few years. And a honeymoon on some gorgeous pleasure planet. Then, maybe some children. We had talked about our future plans in the cell, and that had come up. We both decided that someday we wanted some. I wasn't so sure I wanted any if they weren't with her. My thoughts eventually lulled me to sleep.

***

"Harper, it's time to wake up." A hand shook me, but I buried my face deeper into my pillow. I was pretty sure it was Beka.

"I wanna stay here," I mumbled into the pillow.

She eventually turned me over. "It's time to get up."

I half-opened my eyes. "I don't feel like it. If you wanna make me get up, then you'll have to dress me and carry me wherever we're goin'."

She walked off, and I closed my eyes again. She gave up. I could sleep again. I vaguely remembered a dream I had. It kept telling me 'four dash seventeen.' I suddenly remembered its significance.

I felt someone slipping pants onto my legs. Beka was going to dress me and carry me wherever we're going. It would have been laughable at any other time.

"Beka, where can I find 'four dash seventeen' at?"

"Lots of places." She finished pulling on my pants. I didn't feel like dressing myself anyways.

"It's really really important that I find it."

"I'll write a list for you, if you tell me why it's so important."

"Nevermind." She lifted my upper body and put on a shirt made of a very soft, silky material. I knew it had to be the black one that buttoned down. To answer my question, I felt her buttoning it. "You're actually dressing me."

"You weren't going to do it yourself." She laughed as she finished.

I opened my eyes and sat up. She looked very pretty in a long black dress with a small slit in the side. "You look really nice." I felt my stomach turning itself inside out as it was forcing me to think about why we were both in black.

"Thanks." Her expression grew grim as she continued, "It's time to go now."

I followed her down to Hydroponics, which had been returned to its completely garden state. Trance had cleared a spot beside the clear pool of water for a casket. The rest of the crew hadn't arrived yet. I took slow, reluctant steps towards the casket. Lise was inside, wearing the white gown I had chosen for her. She didn't look dead, only like she was sleeping. I touched her face with my index finger. It was cold and definitely dead. Somewhere in my mind, though, she was still sleeping. She wasn't dead, and she'd wake up at any moment. I turned around and saw Beka, watching me with concern.

"Are you going to be all right during the services? Do you want to say something in memory of her?"

"I'll be all right, but I don't really have anything to say."

The rest of the crew arrived one by one, giving me their condolences. I didn't believe she was dead, so this was much like a game of pretend for me. Everyone, but myself and Tyr, spoke about her. Dylan emphasized the future she wanted to have, Beka talked about the wonderful memories we would all have, Trance talked about what a good person she had been, Rommie said a little about how she might have made a good addition to the crew, and Rev finished up with something about the Divine and her salvation. During the moving eulogies, everyone cried at least a couple of tears, except for myself and Tyr.

Tyr seemed to notice this. "Your strength surprises me, boy. I thought you'd be down on your knees sobbing by now."

I didn't say much in response as we moved the services to Hangar Deck. We all watched on consoles outside the deck as the coffin was jettisoned into a sun. It hit me like a tidal wave as everyone was departing. She was really dead, and I didn't say goodbye. Just as Tyr had predicted, I dropped to my knees and began bawling, saying jumbled things about how I should have said something. I started pounding my head into the wall in front of me. I wanted to knock myself out, escape the pain and guilt somehow.

"It was my fault," I sobbed over and over again. "I killed her."

I was pulled to my feet from behind and saw Beka yet again. She had been there throughout this entire ordeal, so much more than anyone else. I buried my face in her shoulder and clung to her like a lost child, for the second time in a matter of days.

"Beka, I didn't even tell her goodbye. And it was my fault that she died in the first place. I shouldn't have let her even consider going down to Utrecht." My tears continued flowing.

"It's not your fault, Seamus." She began rocking me slowly. "She wouldn't have blamed you for something beyond your control."

"The last thing she said to me was something about four dash seventeen, and I don't even know what it means..."

Beka seemed to understand and said, "It will come to you in time, when you're ready."

I accepted that. Her tone calmed me slightly, and she helped me back to my quarters again. We talked for hours and hours about Lise. Beka had been very fond of her. She told me that Lise reminded her so much of her as a teenager. I opened up to Beka about Delaney. We both promised each other not to reveal any of what had been said to anyone else.

I was exhausted and went to sleep. All of the tears that had been cried had done me a lot of good. There would be a tomorrow, even if it hurt to be in it without her. The pain would eventually fade and the memories would bring me happiness. Someday.