The next morning I get up, shower, and put on my nicest pair of pants and my only button down shirt

The next morning I get up, shower, and put on my nicest pair of pants and my only button down shirt. I start venturing towards the courthouse where Roger's hearing is going to be, but at a corner I am supposed to turn right, I go left. I don't really know why, I continue walking, increasing the distance between the courthouse and myself. I walk past a bank with a clock hanging outside and it says 9:04, I am four minutes late. I keep walking. I don't stop, until I am in an area of the city that is foreign and new to me. I walk into a no-name coffee shop, order a tea, and flirt with the strange girl behind the counter. I sit down, sip my tea and eavesdrop on others conversations around me. No one is talking about his or her best friend who is facing jail, or his drug-addicted girlfriend, or a dear friend who recently died from a terrible disease, or an ex-girlfriend who left him for a woman. These people are talking about the stock market, a movie they just saw, an upcoming wedding. These people have normal lives.

After borrowing a pen from the girl who works there, I spend the day scribbling down random thoughts in my head. Things I didn't know were in there escape through the ink. I write about everything, my family, my friends, and my failed career. Nothing has turned out the way I planned. Not a single thing.

Around two-o'clock, I begin to wander home. It takes me another hour and I finally make it to the loft, the pieces of paper, folded and stuffed in my pocket. I walk in and find the phone machine's red light blinking furiously. I take a deep breath and play the messages.

"Mark, where are you? It is going to start in five minutes. Pookie, I know… well Joanne says you are probably on your way here. I hope you aren't late."

"Mark, Maureen again. Where are you? Roger's case hasn't been called up yet, but he is next. He has been looking for you."

"Mark, it's Benny. Roger's hearing is over, he made bail and I lent him the money. Where are you?"

So he got out. Knowing Joanne, he will get off and things will go back to normal. But what was normal anymore. While I was listening to the machine, I didn't hear the door behind me open and someone step in.

"Mark?" Roger's voice. I turn around.

"Hey." I pull the papers out of my pocket toss them on the table, trying to look busy.

"Where were you today?"

I don't turn towards him, and keep looking down, thumbing through a magazine left near the answering machine. "I couldn't make it."
"Bullshit." He walks towards me, "Mark, I'm sorry, don't be like this ok?" He reaches out to my shoulder to try and turn me but I shake him off.

"I told you last night, I'm done. There's nothing left."

"Look, we're going to stop. We promised each other. We were talking about moving back here, if that is ok with you?"

The thought of Roger back in the loft perks me up for an instant, but I repress the excitement. "No, it's not ok."

"What?" He looks shocked.

"I'm not going to live with you again, whether your using or not." I finally look at him and speak with a voice that sounds much braver than how I feel. "I'm not going to let you into my life again, you walked out. You made the decision."
"Mark, come on, I wasn't thinking. I wanted to be with Mimi, I needed to be with her, and I knew this was the only way."

I shake my head as he speaks, letting a few tears escape. "Well be with Mimi, just somewhere else." I raise my voice, "Get the rest of your shit and get out of here, I don't want you here anymore."

He stands and stares at me. Finally he speaks, well yells, to be more accurate. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND?"

I nod, "Yeah, I do. Perhaps I haven't really been a friend to you all along, coddling you and enabling you. No more. I really hope you get cleaned up, you and Mimi both. But you have to do it on your own, and I am not able to help you."

"Mark, we can't… I can't do it without you." I shake my head again, bringing more calm into my voice.

"Just get your stuff and get out." I walk away and into the corner where my bed is. I lay down and listen to him swear and bang things around, obviously grabbing what little possessions he has left. I hear the front door open and I think he has left but he suddenly appears over my bed.

"Mark?" His voice is shaking and I can see the red in his eyes and the tears stained on his cheeks. "This isn't the end, ok? I'll get cleaned up and I'll make you proud."

I close my eyes and nod into the bed and turn and watch him leave the loft. I get up to go after him, but stop myself. I just forced my best friend out of my life. Now what am I going to do?

The End - Please Review! Let me know if you liked it. I was tired of writing happy endings, so this one doesn't get it.