Prompt #28: During an all-night stakeout, temps drop unexpectedly, it's only September, no one is prepared. They can't start the car, and they can't leave until morning when the replacements show up… however will they keep warm? [Pre-Canon Rollisi – Season 17 somewhere during/immediately after Ep 20 Assaulting Reality – Alternate Timeline]
Heart's Desire - Stakeout Edition
~oOo~
"Rollins, please tell me what I did."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Ya seem… pissed off at me. I wanna know why."
"Stop being so sensitive and… weird, Carisi."
"Gonna be a long night in this car if ya stay mad."
"For the last time, I'm not mad."
Stakeout. Rollins and Carisi got called to fill in as the overnight stakeout team on a Hate Crimes case. It's like that sometimes. Units help each other out with extra manpower, and they've been called upon to assist. The assignment is straightforward. Watch the house. No one in, no one out. It's dark, isolated. No sound, no movement, no lights. All they need to report is whether or not anyone arrives at the house, no need for weapons or pursuit. Easy as can be.
Late September can ride the fence between warm and humid, cool and crisp. Tonight is a clear, brisk night. Cooler than they had anticipated after the beautiful sunny day. The moon is in the waning gibbous phase, giving off a decent amount of light with a periodic wispy cloud sliding past it. Amanda sits in silence, looking out the window, the stars are speckling the night sky. She's comfortable, content in a way, next to her partner here in the darkness. Her breathing is soft and even. She's very aware of Sonny next to her. He, too, is quiet… a feat of extreme human strength for Carisi she's sure.
The scents of his recent shower and daily hygiene routine swirl around her. He's clean-shaven and smells of Irish Spring and aftershave. Her eyes close and she inhales deeply, soothed by his presence, actually happy to be here with him. It's been a little over a year and a half since he walked into the squad room a day early, and the way Sonny has grown on her is quite remarkable she thinks. The moment her eyes met his that first day in the squad room… zeppole and a cheesy mustache, all bravado and rough around the edges… Amanda knew there was something about him that would get her in trouble. She just wasn't sure what kind of trouble… not until now.
"You have to be… discreet… around Fin. You can't just… blurt out that you were making me dinner."
"Ahh… so that's what this is about…"
"Yeah, Carisi, that's what this is about. Haven't you learned what Fin does with little nuggets of information by now?"
"I was makin' dinner, Rollins. I was just helpin' out. Ya have a new baby. Friends don't share a meal? Unless… we're not… I mean, I think of ya as a friend."
"Jesus, Carisi… of course we're friends."
"So what's the problem? Are… are ya embarrassed? Do ya not want people ta know ya like me? Is… is Fin gonna call Amaro… tell Detective Macho ya hanging out with the dumb goofball outside-a work?"
The swirly butterflies Amanda feels in her belly are making her angry. His words are a slap. Nothing about her partnership with Amaro compares to her partnership… her relationship… with Carisi. What the hell is going on with her? She feels like she's 15 and talking to her secret crush. Amanda knows what it's like to be somebody's dirty little secret. She would never… never… do that to Sonny. He's so… good. She's pretty sure that he's the one who should have even a small amount of self-preservation and keep her hidden from his family and friends.
"Do you really think that?" she asks softly, in a tone of voice she only recalls using with him from her hospital bed in labor with Jesse. "Do you think I'm embarrassed by you?"
"I dunno."
"Hey. Hey… look at me. I… I like you, Sonny… but that's for me, for my daughter, for us, not for them. I think… you're my… best friend. I did ask you to be Jesse's godfather, didn't I?"
The smile that cracks Sonny's serious expression reactivates the flutters in her gut. How does something that simple, an admission of friendship to someone whose life is so full of family and relationships of all kinds, make him look like that?
"Yeah, ya did. I love my time with Jesse, which is exactly why Fin can go fuck himself with his smirks and insinuations, ya know?"
"Yeah, you're right," Amanda smiles.
He is right, and she kind of, sort of, overreacted. She's kind of, sort of, hoping he doesn't pick up on that. She feels a heat radiating out from her chest however, her fingers, nose, and toes are all starting to feel quite cold. A shiver runs through her that's partly from the chilly air and partly from her nerves. She pulls the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and hugs her knees to her chest. Sonny stares straight ahead and she glances at him. It's more often than not the way she sees him, in profile, from right beside him, and there's something in that she finds reassuring. It's partnership… side by side… like this. Equals and somehow friends.
"How much longer before you get the results of the Bar exam?"
"About another month."
"Jeez, Carisi, I don't think I was pregnant with Jesse that long."
He chuckles, looks at her, catches her eye. She smiles at him and holds his gaze a moment longer than usual. Her stomach flips and she's so thankful for the darkness so he doesn't see the blush creeping up her neck onto her cheeks.
"So… will… will you look for a job right away? I mean, should I prepare myself to break in another new guy?"
"Honestly, that was my goal all through night school, until I landed at the One-Six. I… kinda fit… maybe for the first time, ya know? I'm not sure what ta do, but I'm not countin' my chickens. I hafta pass first."
"I was your sometimes study partner. I'm sure you passed."
"Gonna hafta give credit ta Jess for keepin ya uncomfortable enough ta stay up with me before she was born, and for all those colicky nights afta."
"She's definitely Team Uncle Sonny," Amanda says, and adding a bit more softly, "So am I. I'm really proud of you… even if it means I have to lose you."
She looks out toward the shadowy house, needing a minute to process her admission and how easily it rolled off her tongue. She can feel that he's still watching her, albeit almost impossible to see more than the basic shape of her silhouette against the car seat. He's regarding her rather seriously, and angles himself toward her more fully. She's cold, but this flare of heat inside her… she doesn't understand. Twice she thought he was going to say something, but both times he shook his head, warring with himself, and stopped.
"Don't make fun-a me, a-right, but I brought food, hot coffee, and a blanket and pillow."
"Definitely not ready to break in a new guy. Serve up that joe, Carisi. My fingers are numb."
"Why didn't ya say somethin'?"
"I don't know. We can't start up the car. I just figured I'd work through it."
"Gimme ya hands."
"What? No. Pour the coffee."
"Not until ya give me ya hands."
"You're a pain in the ass, Carisi."
"I know, but I think you like it."
She turns toward him in the passenger seat and holds out her hands partially covered by the sweater sleeves. He pushes back the wool and takes one of hers between his, and her breath catches in her throat. She's desperately hoping he didn't hear it. He completely dwarfs her small hand between the solid warmth of his. He rubs with enough friction to warm, but he's gentle and careful with her. He takes her other hand and repeats before putting her hands together like a child saying prayers at bedtime and cradles them both in the soft, dry heat of his, stroking his fingertips along her delicate skin. It's such an intimate moment against a growing history of intimate moments between them. Though neither is particularly uncomfortable in this space, they do feel the energy fluctuate.
"What's one drink ya can never drink again?"
"Huh?"
"One drink that makes ya sick just thinking about it. We all have one."
"Anything Jägermeister."
"Ooooof. College?"
"Oh yeah. I see that green bottle and I'm nauseous."
"One night or just too much over time?"
"One ridiculous night. You?"
"Tequila. A group of us from the old neighborhood took a trip ta Mexico right before my buddy Ryan entered the seminary. It was…"
"Oh, I bet it was," she laughed.
Her hands are still encased in his and the warming morphed into holding and caressing and it feels really nice. No one has held Amanda's hand in years and if he's not making a big deal of it, well, why should she. The dropping temperature proves to be too much for her, even with his toasty hands on hers, and a shiver shakes Amanda from head to toe.
"Shit, I totally forgot about the coffee."
He releases her and she feels the loss of his warmth immediately. He's twisting around to the back seat and fishing around with his arms. His body is so close to her now that he's leaning over the center console. Perhaps it's the darkness enhancing the rest of her senses, but she can decipher his laundry detergent from the aftershave from his deodorant and all the scents mix into the familiar smell of him. The one that lingers on her couch cushions and the throw blanket she keeps there. The scent so uniquely him that clings to Jesse after he's held her and bounced her for hours, evening into night. It's those particular notes, blended with the deliciousness of her baby as she nurses at Amanda's breast, that embodies the feeling of home.
He's flailing and she's giggling. Again, it feels so nice. She reaches out to steady him, her fingers coming in direct contact with the skin of his torso where his Fordham hoodie rose up from the stretching and wiggling. They both gasp.
"Sorry. Sorry. I just… I was trying to help."
"It's fine, Rollins. It tickled and your fingers are like ice cubes. That's all… Ya been kinda jumpy tonight. Everythin' ok?"
"Yeah, sure. I'm good. Hurry up with that coffee back there."
"Actually…" Carisi shimmies and pushes and lands with a grunt in the backseat. "This might be better."
A tiny part of Amanda's heart sinks when he ends up behind her. The bubble they were in for those few moments has burst. She can't imagine how she invites herself to the backseat, gets her hands in his again. She turns into the space he slid through and looks down at the supplies he loaded into the SUV.
"Hey now, Boy Scout, you sure did come prepared," she says in awe as he fixes her coffee – light and sweet – and fits the top on the travel mug.
"I have an idea. Take the coffee," he says pushing the mug at her before repacking the cooler.
Carisi starts moving and pulling and pushing around until he gets the smaller section of the backseat folded down flat behind her in the passenger seat. He places the cooler on the flattened space before reaching down to the driver's seat and pulling the lever that slides it forward creating a clear view of the house and more space for him. Smiling, he looks back at her, so proud of himself.
"Wanna come ova for a bite ta eat?"
Holy Fuck. Did he just set up a cozy "date night" spot in the back of this truck? Amanda can't tell if he knows what he's doing or if he's just so goddamn genuine and kind. There's always been an underlying current with him, something that makes her think he's not as naïve as he appears. There's also something about Amanda Rollins who was top in her profiling class that's going to find out. She hands the tumbler back to Sonny, and slightly more gracefully than her partner, navigates her way over the console into the backseat. He reaches to help her as she twists and falls into his waiting arm, pressed against him. They cannot stop laughing, the silliness, the quick flash of embarrassment, fueling her. She tries to adjust herself to put a little space between them on this small bench, but his lanky limbs are everywhere. The jostling and jiggling that their laughter causes, the way they bump and rub and slide, arouses her in a way she doesn't remember ever being before. She tries to gain leverage and ends up putting her hands on him in places they've never been.
"Ok. That was more exercise than I've gotten in a while," she says breathily.
"Those were pretty impressive moves. Ya coulda been a gymnast," he chuckles.
"Taking notes on my flexibility now?"
"Maybe. Keepin' 'em in my back pocket for another day. Neva know when it'll come in handy."
Yup. This man knows exactly what he's doing. That was thinly veiled. Carisi lets her get settled and comfortable before handing her the coffee. His arm slides up across the back of the seat behind her but not quite around her. He reaches across her body to the cooler. If they were any other two people, if he was any other man, her mouth would be on his neck leaving her mark right under his jaw, fingers lacing through his hair. He pulls out a sandwich and holds it in offering.
"Share?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
She contemplates him… them… this.
"So… no tequila for you, no Jägermeister for me. My turn to ask a question."
"Ok… Ga 'head."
"Mmm… weirdest place you had sex."
He takes a bite of sandwich and looks at her, nodding his head, thinking.
"The zoo."
"Ew, Sonny."
"No judgement or I'm not gonna play."
"You're right. Sorry. Details," she asks around her chewing.
"Rainy day. Pretty secluded bench. She… uh… sat on my lap. Her rain poncho gave decent coverage," he shrugs.
"Hmph," she says raising her eyebrows, a mouthful of Italian Combo.
Amanda loves this answer, and she's got those belly tingles in full force again. She was not expecting that, not expecting that he was that adventurous, nor was she expecting the ease with which he admitted to public sex.
"Long-term girlfriend or just someone in the moment?"
"Long term… dated a couple-a years. I'm not exactly an in-the-moment kinda guy."
"Oooh, is this the ex in LA?"
"Ya remembered that? Yeah. Her. You?"
"A cemetery."
"Really?"
"Mhmm. Really."
"I'll need the deets, Rollins."
"It was a stupid dare. Had to sneak in after dark and, you know."
"No, I don't know, but you're gonna tell me."
"Have sex… like actual sex… not just hands or mouth."
"Actual sex… not hand or mouth sex. Got it."
She can see his smirk in the almost nonexistent light, and she feels herself flush at his teasing.
"Jerk."
"Rollins, we work in sex crimes. We say these words all the time."
"But not… like this… you know, just us… ABOUT us."
"About YOU… about ME… not about US…" he says with a hint of gravel in his voice.
Fuck. He's flirty here in this bubble, so close but cloaked in the pitch of night, giving them the illusion of distance. They each finish off their half of the sandwich and Amanda takes a few big sips of the steamy coffee. She lets out a little moan as she feels the warmth of the liquid slide down her throat. She didn't mean for it to come out quite so… charged, but it seems there's definitely something stirring between them tonight. She leans her head back, his arm there behind her. He doesn't move it until she pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them as she had up front. Sonny cleans up their backseat picnic pulling a fleece blanket from the cargo area behind them when he's done. Before she realizes it, he's got the throw over her and tucked around her, and he's settling back onto his section of the seat, returning his arm where it sat above her shoulders.
"No one is going in or out of this place tonight. Just us out here freezing. I have a feeling this whole stakeout is a huge waste of time."
"I dunno… doesn't feel like a waste-a time ta me."
She's never noticed these intricacies in his voice before, the layers and the tones that touch her in ways she didn't imagine Carisi could be capable of. His arm drops slightly at the elbow, framing her, not yet embracing her. Not a big deal. He's just getting comfortable for the rest of this long night she reasons in her mind. They've even sat this way on her couch a few times with Jesse. She's reading into everything and she's got to stop. Her head is spinning and there's no actual reason to think anything is different between them tonight. But it is. It's the confines of the vehicle. The lack of space to regroup, the way she can't move the way she would around her apartment or the squad room, is heightening every thought and sensation between them in the lack of escape. Stop thinking, she implores herself.
"Your turn to ask a question, Carisi."
"What's one misconception ya wish ya could correct about yourself."
She knows immediately what the honest answer to his question is. She takes the gamble, trusting he won't hurt her with it, opens herself to him, and tells the plain truth.
"Easy Ass Amanda."
"Easy… what?"
"Easy Ass Amanda. I did something stupid with the wrong guy in high school. He was not discreet. I got a reputation that… I guess I let follow me. That's not who I was… who I am. It was simpler to play the role than try to change people's opinions, you know?"
"'Manda…" he says softly. "I'm sorry that happened ta ya. Ya didn't deserve that."
She's mortified as a sob escapes her and her breathing hitches.
"Hey, don't… don't cry."
Sonny's arm falls fully over her shoulders, embracing her in a big hug, drawing her into him, her cheek resting on his chest.
"No one's ever said that to me before," she says with half a laugh, half a whimper. "It's so stupid, crying like this. I'm sorry."
"I don't eva wanna hear that from ya. Ya get ta cry or get angry or laugh or whateva ya want wheneva ya want. Ya hear me, 'Manda?"
"I hear you, Sonny. I do."
"I'll always be here ta listen, ok?"
"Yeah. Ok."
They're wrapped up together, she under the soft fleece with his long, lithe arms holding her close. He makes no move to distance himself from her. She's no longer shivering. Once her tears have dried, she inhales deeply and slowly releases, feeling better.
"Your turn to answer, Sonny. A misconception about you…"
"Maybe… kinda the opposite-a yours. I think… because I… I go ta Mass, I don't generally pick up random women, people assume I'm naïve… inexperienced. I choose not ta… ta use people. I prefer makin' connections, keepin' private things private."
"A true gentleman," she says nudging him with her shoulder, looking up at him for the first time since he pulled her into his arms.
He drops his gaze to meet hers, and, in the soft light of the three-quarter moon, everything shifts.
"Amanda Rollins… what am I gonna do about you," he whispers, afraid to change the vibe, afraid not to.
"Sonny…"
The silence is welcomed, each lost in dangerous thoughts, life-altering thoughts. Searching for answers in the shadows across the other's face. Amanda cups his cheek, her cold fingers causing him to shiver, and they laugh softly. Sonny glances toward the house they're watching. He licks his lips and Amanda can see them glisten in the dim moonlight. She untucks the blanket from around her and spreads it over him, incorporating him in her cocoon of warmth.
"Let me kiss ya, 'Manda. Just once. Just tonight. I hafta know."
"Know… what," she breathes.
"If these are… misfired feelins between close friends or… if it's… something… else."
"You think… a… kiss can tell you that?"
"True love's kiss, 'Manda… like a Disney Princess..."
"True lo… um… whew… give me a minute, ok…"
"Ok. Ask me anotha question."
Amanda takes a minute to calm herself. She consciously inhales and exhales. She's breathing him in and taking note of the way he feels at her side. He's just… there. No pressuring her, no pushing her physically, no air of anticipation that something is about to happen. He's steady, and sure, and present.
"Have you ever really thought… about… me… about us… before tonight?"
"Seriously," he asks chuckling, "Yeah. You?"
"Yeah, Sonny, I have."
"What do ya think about… ya know… when…"
"I think about this… sitting close. I think about kissing you… being so… intimate. I feel it when we cuddle up Jesse… and I think… I think about doing that… having someone… having you… there with us every day, sharing her with me."
"So it's… it's about Jess?"
"No… I mean… it is, but it's not only about her. We're a package deal, Sonny…"
"I know, believe me, I do… It feels… like there's a… a place for me somewhere with ya both sometimes… like I… kinda belong there with Jess asleep on my chest and you asleep against my side on that old lumpy couch."
Tears leak from her eyes. Emotions swirl through her and around her. No one has ever been this open… honest with her. She's never been treated with such respect and kindness.
"I didn't like one minute of you in that shelter. I knew… that I… I… didn't just want you out of there, but… but home with me and Jesse and Frannie. Safe."
"Thinkin' about ya got me through it."
Under the blanket, her hand starts to roam from where it rested on his stomach. Her open palm slides up and pauses over his heart. Even through the thickness of the hoodie, Amanda can feel the thumping in Sonny's chest. He's deliberately staying still… for her. He wants her to adjust to the new information he throws at her without having to think and react. This turns her on immeasurably.
"So… a kiss… to see if there's something more than friendship… that's what you're asking?"
He doesn't answer right away, merely holds her a little tighter. She feels the rise and fall of him as he remains steady.
"If I say somethin' crazy honest, promise ya won't freak out."
"Jesus Christ, Carisi… how am I supposed to promise that?"
The rumble of his laugh shoots another blast of warmth through her.
"A'right… 'Manda, I don't need ta kiss ya ta see if there's somethin' more than friendship here. I know how I feel. I knew it in the hospital when ya had Jess… that's when I knew for sure. The kiss… that's for you… for ya ta figure out how ya feel about me."
Her breath completely hitches, and she lets it out in a whole-body shudder. She's thankful that she's able to swallow the sob that rises, not wanting to give him the wrong impression. Amanda is so used to being the one who doesn't know where she stands in a relationship. She learned how to play it so she's not the one who looks vulnerable or hurt, and here is this man who is so willing to put himself out there for her. The temperature is dropping outside, but right now the cabin of this SUV is steaming up.
Amanda pulls away from Sonny enough to see his face. She traces his jaw with one finger stopping at the center of his chin, continuing the journey to his Adam's Apple, and onto the hollow at the base of his throat. He's shaking ever so slightly under her touch and it's the first sign that he's not in as much control as he's let on.
"Is this ok… touching you like this?"
"Mhm… yeah."
"You're shaking. Cold?"
"Nah… not… not cold. It's just…," he exhales heavily.
Softly, she says, "I know."
She caresses his cheek, turns his face toward hers. She wants to say she feels the same, that physically he drives her mad, that she wants his hands and his mouth all over her. She's attracted to him… to all of him. His big heart, his generous and kind soul, his intelligence and determination are who he is. His large hands and long fingers, the prominent shape of his nose, the burgeoning strands of silver in his hair, his fiery blue eyes, the full pout of his lips make her want and need in ways she's never felt. It all makes her sweat, hunger for contact. The day she walked into the squad room, saw that he had shaved that mustache, and looked at his handsome face unobstructed, made her heart jump, and a dampness flood her palms and upper lip and other parts much lower.
"What if we kiss and it's dry and boring?"
He smiles so wide and gives her a squeeze, as if he knows that isn't even a possibility.
"Ya really think that's where this is goin'? Where we'll end up?"
"No, I do not," she grins.
He slips his fingers into her hair, angling her head so he can fully capture her mouth. A glide of lips like silk, tentative and warm, sends shivers down her body. He's gentle and deliberate, cradling her lips between his, alternating top and bottom. The shock at how softly he kisses, how little tongue he's used, how desperate she is for a taste of him causes a sigh to escape her. She touches the tip of her tongue to his bottom lip, and he opens wider returning the action with a similar reaction. He swipes his tongue capturing the eagerness of hers in a quiet duel, but doesn't push, doesn't fill her mouth. He plays with her, this sensual sexy game, building a tension in her belly. Her hands wrap around his neck, fingers stroking his skin, heightening sensations. He breaks the kiss for a gulp of air and dives back in right where he left off.
A wall comes down inside her, and there isn't any part of this kiss that's tentative anymore. She turns her body flush against his chest. The blanket falls to the floor yet they are anything but cold as the windows steam up around them. She's urgent, but he slows her, savors her, shows her how she should be kissed. He is thorough and attentive and anticipates her needs fulfilling them before she becomes too desperate or clumsy.
"Carisi…"
He stops immediately, retreating as though they were fifteen and caught on her bed by her mom. She doesn't let go or allow him to untangle their tangled parts. Her lips graze his nose, his chin, his neck. He groans… note to self – sensitive neck, she smiles against him. Amanda alternates between a soft slide of her mouth and gentle sucking. Sonny's arms are back around her, holding her against him as their chests rise and fall together. Amanda is curious and terrified, wanting to step on the break and floor the gas pedal at the same time. Her heart is bursting. Finally, she pulls back enough to look into his eyes.
"Ok… so… not dry or boring."
"Nope."
"That was actually… fuck, Carisi… where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?"
There's that megawatt smile again. He looks like the cat that ate the canary, like a self-confident grown-ass adult, not the bumbling crass mustached detective she met just under two years ago. He sure as fuck handles himself like a man, and… Jesus… makes her feel like a woman, a cherished and valued woman.
"Rollins, there are more uses for a mouth than eatin' and talkin'… DISCREET uses… I do not kiss and tell."
Once more, Amanda feels her cheeks burn from the flush he causes separate from the sheer sexual arousal running through her right now. He says these things… she drops her eyes demurely, bites her lip to hide the girly smile he elicits. She tries to create space, slip back over to her spot on the backseat, but he holds her tighter, smiles knowingly, brushes her hair behind her ear.
"Full disclosure, Rollins… that kiss was one of a kind. Nothin' has eva felt like that… not for me. That was… That was us."
"You don't have to say…"
"It's the truth."
"What do we do now?"
"I'm guessin' our job is pretty much outta the question at this point," he says snickering.
"I think we'll notice a truck pulling up, Carisi."
"Mmm, not sure I can see anythin' but you right now."
"Quit while you're ahead. Don't blow it with cheesy compliments."
"I bet I can get ya ta forgive me if I kiss ya again."
Amanda can't help herself, and dissolves into melodious giggles and a soft embrace. He holds her in a sweet genuine hug, laughing along with her, the playfulness overriding their nerves.
"If I say yes, and I let you kiss me again, it's only because that's the warmest I've been all night. It's really cold out here."
Carisi reaches down and grabs the blanket. She repositions herself at his side as if they're on her couch instead of the backseat of this police-issue SUV. He pulls her close, covers them with the throw, and rests his chin on her head.
"'Want a serious answer to 'what now'?"
"Please."
"I wanna see where this goes, with us, 'Manda. I like how I feel when I'm with ya… outside-a work… bein' with Jesse and with you... it's really…nice."
Amanda contemplates his words, admires his straightforwardness. She knows she owes him the same honesty.
"I like when you're around, Carisi."
"Yeah? Dinners cooked, kitchen tidied, colicky baby rocked?"
She pushes away from him; the butterflies turn to lead, and she now has a pit in her stomach.
"Is that how I make you feel?"
"No, Amanda. Ya don't. I'm teasin' ya."
"God, Sonny… I'm sorry if I ever…"
"Never, Rollins. I promise. I do those things because I wanna. Gives me a reason ta… ta be around ya."
"Sonny, you don't need a reason other than you want to come over."
"What if my reason is that I wanna come ova and kiss ya some more… maybe some other things, too?"
Oh, this man will make her scream if that kiss promises anything. Amanda is intrigued and hopeful and very much into his adorable suggestion.
"I like you, Sonny. I really like you. You would never believe me if I told you how often I think about… that… about you that way. I don't know how to do this… be an adult in a real relationship. I've really never had something like this."
"You are one hell of a partner," he says with a smile. "It's not much different than that… ya put my health and safety first, ya keep communication open, ya watch my six, compromise here and there. We figure it out as we go."
She nods against his shoulder, feels his fingers in her hair twisting the silky strands enjoying the softness.
"We can't tell anyone without being separated. We wouldn't be partners."
"Do ya trust me? Ta be discreet? I'll have options if my test results come back the way I hope."
"My turn for a truth bomb… I trust you, but more than that… Sonny, I'll do whatever it takes to keep kissing you like that."
"And some other things," he asks laced with anticipation.
"Definitely other things."
Amanda tilts her face up enough to reach his lips with hers. They kiss, softly, fully for the second time tonight, and the first of countless more before the sun rises.
Note: The author of this SVU: Fall in Love story will be revealed in November
