Chapter 1
IT'S WAR!!!!!


"A war?" Rei said to the Hamster. "Why?"

"Because my strange, feline friend, we have been fighting the gerbils for many years. And you can't have a war without someone to kill!" The Hamster replied, taking another bite out of his food pellet.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Ryu said.

The Gerbil King burst through the front door again. "Oh yeah! We also have a secret weapon!"

"Oh really? And what pray tell may that be?" Ryu asked the Gerbil Lord.

"Um.....it's a.....well we drew up some.....uh.......we're thinking of one!" The Gerbil hastily
said.

"Well I HAVE a secret weapon!" The Hamster said to the Gerbil.

"Oh? And woity-toity may that be Hamster King?" The Gerbil asked raising a eyebrow.

The Hamster King quickly looked around and saw Ryu, Rei & Teepo standing there wondering why a war is even happening. The Hamster smiled smugly to himself.

"Those three." The Hamster King said pointing to the Heroes.

"WHAT?!!!!!!!!" The trio said aloud.

"......I see." The Gerbil started, "You're an idiot King Hamster. Later." The Gerbil ran off again.

Rei got the hamster king in a chokehold, "WE ARE YOU'RE SECRET WEAPONS?!?!"

"Leggo! Mr. Scuzzball! Attack!" The Hamster yelled. A small white, fluffy kitten lunged at Rei and started clawing his face. If you looked at it for awhile, it sort of looked like the facehuggers from the Alien movies. The woren immedietly let go of the hamster and started screaming. Everyone laughed at the woren's dismay.

"Enough Mr. Scuzzball!" The Hamster ordered. The white fluffy kitten released itself from Rei's face and scurried itself up into the Hamster's crown.

Teepo looked at Rei, "Uh......you ok Rei?" he asked

Rei didn't say a word. He simply covered his face, went to the cupbord, and got out a MultiVitamin. Now normally you would consume a MultiVitamin but in the BOF universe you crush it above your head and wierd little sparkley things come out of it and heal you instantly. Rei's wounds were healed instantly.

"Uh....yeah." The Hamster started, "Now what was I talking about?"

"About why we are your secret weapons." Ryu answered.

"Oh yeah! Well anyway, you guys are my secret weapons basically because you and Teepo can turn into dragons with the power of a thousand scud missles and Rei can turn into a Weretiger with the mind of a kamikaze." The Hamster said.

Ryu thought about that point for a second, "Well, yeah, I guess that is a good point."

"Damn straight." The Hamster replied smugly.

"It isn't going to be enough." Rei said.

"Oh? Why?" The asked the woren.

"Well, for starters, you don't even have an ar-" Rei was cut off as two hamster demi-humans burst through the door, one was more muscular than the king, and had many battle scars on him and a combat uniform, as well as a helmet with three stars on it. The other was in a white lab coat, with a pair of rather sophisticated glasses on his head.

"Doesn't anybody knock anymore?" Ryu said.

"Ah, friends. Allow me to introduce you to Ryu, Rei, and Teepo, our secret weapons." The Hamster said to the strange people. "Guys, the buff hamster is General Pellet; the other hamster is Orion Furryface from intellegence." The Hamster was done with his introduction.

"Now then Pellet, what is it?" The Hamster asked the General.

"All fifty of our squads are wishing to know when we attack your magesty!" The General said to the king.

"We attack at dawn."

*Patton music plays*

"Yes sir!"

*Patton music plays*

The Hamster looked around to find the source of the music, but gave up in the end. He turned his attention to Orion, "And you Furryface?"

*Patton music plays*

Furryface cleared his throat, "Well sir, I wa-"

*Patton music plays*

"CUT THE FRICKIN MUSIC!!!!!!!" The Hamster yelled.

*Patton music plays very softly*

The Hamster got a bazooka from seemingly out of nowhere.

"That bazooka looks familiar...." Ryu said

"That it does Ryu." Teepo said

"I wonder where we saw it last?" Rei replied

-Tower

"Hey where is my bazooka?" Momo asked her robot, Honey

*BeepBoop*

"The Hamster King has it?"

*Beepbeepbloop*

"Oh, ok." Momo said calmly, honestly, she was about to snap.

"WHO IS HE?!" she did.

*BeepBloopBoopEep*

"You don't know?"

*Beep*

"Ok."

*Beep*

"Alright then, where is my bazooka?"

*BEEPBLOOPBEEPLOON*

"Oh it's at Rei's?"

*Seep*

"Alrighty then. To Rei's I go."

*BeepBleep*

"What am I gonna do? WHAT AM I GONNA DO?! I'M GONNA KICK HIS FURRY ASS! THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO!!!!" She then laughed maniacally and ran out of the tower.

Honey made a sound that sounded like a sigh.

-At the cabin

The Hamster king smiled at his handiwork as 30 speakers were completly destroyed. Just then, a soldier burst through the door.

"Your Majesty! A gerbil ambush from the left flank sir! Only three of them though."

"Really?" The hamster said. Three gerbils jumped through the window, all in brown camo uniforms.

"Great!" the Gerbil said. Just then Momo burst through the door, breaking the door down, eyeing Rei with a glare that could frighten even Satan. The Hamster then took this opportunity to throw the bazooka to a gerbil. Momo then saw the bazooka in the hands of a gerbil. She leaped toward the gerbils and tore them limb from limb, blood flying everywhere. She then took her bazooka and walked out as fast as she walked in.

Silence........

"OK! That was um, well, wierd. The sun's set so what say we stay here tonight!" The Hamster said.

"Well I do-" Rei started.

"Great!" The King, Pellet, and Orion went upstairs.

"INGRATE!!!!" Rei yelled upstairs

"Oh Mr. Scuzzball!" The Hamster king yeeled in a sing-song voice.

The Kitten leapt up on Rei's face again.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!! GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!!!!!" Rei screamed while running around.

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Stay tuned for Chapter 2! The attack!

Note: How do ya like it so far? Come on! Be a sport! Review it and tell me!