Disclaimer: I don't own Angel or Buffy

Disclaimer: I don't own Angel or Buffy

I Will

I hoped I never would come back to this place, the place we had spent so many nights. While everyone else was at the Bronx or out at a movie, we kept each other company under the stars. It wasn't supposed to end like this not with you here.

I miss you, so much so it hurts. It's not supposed to hurt. I wish my soul were gone so I wouldn't feel the hurt, but it isn't.

They told me what happened. They called and told me how you jumped and saved the world along with Dawn. She wasn't even your sister, but you jumped. You had lost everything, but you still gave more.

You have changed so much from the headstrong girl I used to watch from afar. One thing never changed, though; you still had the same heart. When I finally got the courage to talk to you, I found out you were the most perfect being on the earth. I couldn't see a single flaw. You gave me a chance when anyone else would have pushed me aside. We have lived through so many apocalypses, but not this one.

I shouldn't have left. Cordelia keeps telling me that if I had been there it wouldn't have changed anything. You would be were you are now. I can't except that. I want, no, I need to have something to fight in order to deal with it. I can't fight death. That is what makes this so hard.

I want to yell and scream at you for leaving me, but I can't. There are so many things I want and can't do because you're gone. I can't even yell at you if I wanted to. I just wanted to hold you in my arms and wipe away the pain. But I wasn't there. So all I can do is say I can't.

The sermon was beautiful. Everyone cried. Dawn is staying with Giles. The "Scooby Gang" is disbanded and lost with out you. It will never be the same without you.

I don't know if you can now see the day you lost from were you are, but I can. It replays again and again and I realize how much of a fool I was. They said you'd die if I stayed human, but you're dead anyway. I still see the tears running down your face and your sweet voice repeating, "I'll never forget."

I will never forget you. Not now, not ever. You were the reason I was fighting for this damn prophecy. The one that said I could be human. You still are the reason I'm fighting. So when I do die, I will see you again. I will look in your eyes and see the bright twinkle that captured me years ago.

Until that day I will continue to fight. It gives me balance and something I can see. I can see being hit or killing. I can't see you. I can still feel you in my soul. The one thing that has cursed as well as blessed me. Right now it is a curse.

Soon you and I will be together again. I know in my heart and in my soul we will meet. Before that day I need to do a few things so I have to leave. Part of me wants to stay sitting beside this stone forever, but the other half knows that I have to get things done first. I pray you can forgive me for not being there because I can't.

I will do my best to protect the world as you did and as you would. I won't say good-bye because this isn't good-bye. This is a promise I will see you again. I will feel your hair between my fingers and your lips beneath mine. I will find a way.

I will.

Buffy Ann Summers

1981-2001

She saved the world

a lot

A tall dark man slowly got up off the grass and left the dead cemetery leaving only a small red rose over newly dug up dirt.