AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy goes to see Angel after Graduation and stuff happens. Not the stuff you think. Well, sort of the stuff you think. But, not. Did that make sense?
SPOILER: Graduation Day
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-14
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all the Buffy characters. Joss does NOT deserve the Buffy characters. Joss is mean and cruel and several other things. Rich, for one. He's mostly just evil.
DEDICATION: To Sandee, for helping me find the song. You're a lifesaver and then some.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Five minute fic. Might not be good. I don't know why, I feel like it's really bad. Do write and tell me. =)
//If this world is wearing thin
And you're thinking of escape
I'll go anywhere with you
Just lock me up in chains\\
Buffy expected to find the mansion empty. She expected to enter through the stone door and find his stuff gone, the lights out, the smell of his candles still lingering in the air.
She opened the door and found him sitting in front of the fireplace, reading.
"Buffy?"
"Angel."
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to stop you from leaving me."
//But if you try to go alone
Don't think I'll understand\\
"Buffy, I said that I wasn't--"
"Gonna say goodbye. I know. Me neither. That's why I'm here."
"I don't understand."
"I think you do."
"You can see the luggage," he gestured to the bags and boxes of books in one corner of the room. "I was planning on leaving tomorrow night. I wouldn't have had enough darkness tonight."
"Enough darkness to go where?"
He shrugged. "I don't know where I'm going. I barely know why."
"I know why." she stepped closer to him. "This is about you being smarter and better than everyone. I love you, Angel, and I'm not letting you walk away from me without a fight."
"I'm not gonna stay here and ruin your life."
"So you're gonna run out on me and leave me all alone."
"I didn't say that."
Her glare turned icy. "You didn't have to."
//Stay with me
Stay with me\\
"So why go?" she asked. "I talked to Giles. I know about your soul. Why didn't you tell me?"
He shrugged. "I guess I was scared."
"YOU were scared? Scared of me? There's a big fat funny."
"Not scared *of* you, scared of how you'd act. Scared of what you would say. That you'd think I only wanted the soul back for sexual reasons."
"Angel....I know you. I know you so well. I know you want me to be happy, and that has nothing to do with sex. I'm happy with you. Period."
She paused to take a deep breath and then started up again. "If I'd come here and you were gone...we just fought the worst battle of our lives and when we got together afterwards to pick up the pieces, you were gone. I thought, oh great. I lost my graduation, and some friends, and now, I'm losing you."
She glared at him. "*Am* I losing you?"
"You'll never lose me, Buffy. I think you know that."
"If you would've left, I would've lost you. It's pretty simple, Angel."
"I didn't leave."
"Are you going to?" she asked in a small voice. She grew angry when he shrugged. "Angel, dammit, when are you gonna stop doing this? When are you gonna be selfish?"
"I'm trying to do the right thing for your future. The thing is, I don't know what's best for you anymore. I see you without me, and all I want to do is comfort you, but I know what you go through when we are together and--"
"You, Angel. You're what's best for me. Us, together, that's how it should be."
"I keep coming back to the Mayor. What he said."
//In the silence of your room
In the darkness of your dreams
You must only think of me
There can be no in between
When your pride is on the floor
I'll make you beg for more\\
"Angel, listen to me." Buffy grabbed his arms and practically forced him to look at her. "The Mayor is a fucked up dead demon snake. He knew nothing would grind at you more than trying to destroy our relationship, and that's exactly what you're letting him do. He deserved to die and I'm not sorry I was the one to killed him. I'm not sorry that he ate Snyder, either, but that's beside the point. If you leave, Angel, he wins. Is that what you want?"
"No, but--"
She silenced him with a passionate kiss. When she pulled away, she was breathing heavily. "Are you staying?"
"No, I'm not. But I'm taking you with me."
Buffy knew she couldn't leave - not now, not ever - but she had more important things on her mind. Angel was now lying on top of her and they were struggling to undress each other on his couch.
Her mind was centered on one thing. Sex.
//You'd better hope and pray
That you'll make it safe
In your own world
You'd better hope and pray
That you wake one day
Back in your own world
Cause when you sleep at night
They don't hear the cries
In your own world\\
When Buffy woke up, she saw Angel standing before the fire. He was wearing only his black leather pants and a smile.
"Angel," she pulled his shirt on and buttoned it. "Come back to bed."
Her blood ran cold when he looked at her. "Hello, Buffy."
"Angelus." she shivered in fear.
"That's right baby." he walked over to her. "Give me a kiss."
She punched him with such force, he fell backwards and hit his head on the stone fireplace.
He was heavy and hard to lift, but Buffy managed to drag him over to the wall and chained him there.
She sat back, sighing. What the hell was she going to do?
Kiss him? Kill him?
Try to make Willow change him back so he would leave her again?
It was a lose-lose situation. Either way, she'd wind up alone.
Unless....
Buffy couldn't feel herself moving as she walked over to her bag and retrieved a stake. She couldn't feel her heart racing as she gently pressed it to Angel's chest. She couldn't hear the swishing sound the dust falling into the air created.
//Stay with me
Stay with me\\
Dropping the stake, she laid down in his ashes for a moment, sobbing.
Then she picked up the stake and drove it home into her own heart.
