((31st of Evening Star/December, 4E 202))
My mind had kept me busy on the days it had taken to return to Riften, but as soon as I entered the city, a chill up my back not brought about by the cold wiped my thoughts clean. Hours away from the new year's New Life Festival, there should have been excitement and decor all around the city. However, instead of life and merriment, Riften was dead. The dark clouds above added to the melancholy atmosphere.
As I cautiously walked on the creaky wooden boards of the pathways, people that had once given me grins and greetings only stared coldly. By Talos, who pissed in their mead? The sense of foreboding only grew as I shuffled through the city, unable to rid myself of the strain Riften's environment had brought me.
Habit brought me to the graveyard near the Temple of Mara, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I approached the false coffin. It slid open rather noisily, and as always, I glanced around to make sure no one had come to investigate the noise before descending the stairs. The trapdoor just ahead, I tugged at the handle with a smile on my face. To my confusion, the secret entrance refused to open, and my smile faded. I pulled at it again and again, but it remained stubbornly shut.
"Damn it," I swore quietly, ruffling through my pack for a key. To my chagrin, the key had seemingly disappeared into thin air, worsening my mood. While I contemplated possible reasons it was not open to me in the first place, I ended up recalling that Karliah had requested we meet in the Ragged Flagon anyhow.
With a low sigh, I pulled the wall chain and darted out of the stairwell so as not to be crushed by the heavy stone coffin. When the entrance clicked shut, I straightened back up and stretched out, repressing the relaxed groan that so often accompanied my stretches. While the air was tense, my urge to see the Guild again overpowered my apprehension. Besides, like I'd figured out on my journey, Brynjolf and I needed to have a talk.
When I went down to the lower level of Riften, I was relieved to find the door unlocked as opposed to the once-easy access to the cistern. However, I was again hit with a dilemma. The drawbridge was up, and pure annoyance hit me like a shield to the gut. "It's like I have to start all over!" I complained to myself. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I got the distinct feeling I was being watched. Despite the eerie feeling, there was nothing to suggest anyone was nearby. My fingers found the amulet at my neck, giving me the slightest bit of comfort.
The ominous air remained with me as I retraced my first path through the Ratway. During this time, I came to realize that the dank sewers had the same feeling as Riften's open air. A stone fell in the distance, the noise startling me considerably as I'd already been on edge. I instantly recognized what was wrong. Even on Riften's worst days, there'd been low laughter and chatter coming from the Ragged Flagon. Now, there was no talk, no clanking of mugs or clinking of coins.
It all served to thicken the tension in the air, borderline electrifying as I found even my wolf spirit shrinking back in nervousness. My mind began to race, the negative energy hanging outside the door bringing doubt. I didn't know what was going on, but the sharp feeling pricking at my consciousness was enough to keep me frozen for a few moments longer.
The frantic palpitations in my heart only worsened my concern. Despite everything, I tried to force myself to calm down, breathing deeply to soothe my anxiety. I reached for Brynjolf's amulet, grounding me to the present and bringing me peace where I'd otherwise had none.
Brynjolf.
What would he say upon my return? He'd been furious with Karliah for her attack and supposed murder of me. Was that the anger of a friend, or did it come from somewhere deeper inside him even I feared to look into? I had to trust he'd understand and trust me, even defend me if needed. I needed to trust in my feelings for Brynjolf and hope he shared them as well.
"Come back safe and I'll tell you..."
With all this in mind, I steeled myself and opened the door.
A rush of cold air hit me, different from the warmth I'd grown used to coming from the Flagon. The dark tension was almost palpable. Despite the familiarity of my surroundings, I felt the odd need to hide myself from my fellow Guildmembers until I could find Karliah and Brynjolf. Drawing my hood over my head, I slunk through the tavern while trying to locate Karliah.
I spotted her fairly easily, the Dunmer sitting in Tonilia's usual spot. The fence herself was nowhere to be seen. I didn't bother greeting Karliah, as she was well aware of who I was. She spoke first in a voice so soft I had to strain to hear it. "I'm glad you're here." Her stunning violet eyes flicked around to the remaining Guildmembers in the room. "I think they're beginning to suspect who I am." A swift survey showed that all three were eyeing us skeptically.
"That's understandable," I murmured. Briefly silent, I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Mercer put such a massive target on your back that you're nearly impossible to miss." We both stood still, frozen for different reasons. I suspected anxiety kept Karliah rooted to the spot while I remained still to wait for her say-so. I noted stress lines had etched themselves into Karliah's blue-gray skin and wondered if I looked the same.
"Are you ready to face the Guild?" Karliah inquired lowly, breaking our long silence. I momentarily felt unnerved by the lack of hope in her eyes.
"...To be honest? Surprisingly not." My voice wavered. "I'd thought this would be different. I thought I'd storm into the Flagon, head held high and certain I could convince the Guild. But now? I don't know." I scratched at the back of my neck before speaking with more conviction. "But we don't have a choice. Remember, Mercer is the enemy, not just of us but of the entire Guild. If we're going to protect them, we need to get moving."
Karliah looked past me, discomfort obvious as she bit her nails. "There's no guarantee that any of this will end in success. We must prepare ourselves for that possibility." She was right, of course. The Dunmer shook her head to rid herself of the fear, and her voice regained some of its confident tone. "Let's go. As you said, there's no time to lose." Sharing a nod, I led Karliah to the back of the tavern. Although we were watched by all three Guildmembers, none of them approached us.
I didn't know why I felt nervous. What had happened to the fearless spitfire I'd once been? I fidgeted with my charm again and turned my head to Karliah. "Keep your eyes open," I whispered. "I'm not sure what to expect."
Once we passed through the false cupboard, my thoughts focused solely on what would happen inside the cistern. I envisioned Mercer at his fancy new desk, planning a new set of crimes against the Guild. Would he be surprised at my appearance? What if he assaulted me once more in an attempt to hide the truth?
I'd have to hope Brynjolf could protect me, as he'd done from the first day.
My hand stilled on the door handle, and Karliah expressed her concern. "Russet? What's wrong?"
"What if we fail?" I replied darkly, the heavy dread weighing me down. "What if everything we've worked for, everything we've done, is all for nothing?"
"That's a chance we must take." I released the door and leaned against the wall, furrowing my brows in unease.
"What if they refuse to listen? What if they kill you before we can give them the truth of it?" I cradled my chest. "What if they kill me for allying myself with you?" I was somewhat ashamed to admit it, but I didn't want my tentative alliance with Karliah to ruin the bonds I had with the Thieves Guild. All the same, it was different to express how I truly felt.
"We need to go, Russet," Karliah responded sternly. "Now." I scowled weakly but at last opened the door. Karliah trailed behind me like a shadow, her hood masking her identity. My eyes found Brynjolf just ahead, flipping through a few notes in his hands. The sight of him after so long made my heart ache, and I couldn't stop the warmth that flowed through my veins. Ignoring common sense, I quickened my pace, ready to hear his voice again. "Wait!"
I ignored Karliah, walk turning into a run as I hurried to hold Brynjolf. I didn't take anything else into account, simply ran to the man I'd been desperate to see for months. Just a few feet away from him, his emerald-green eyes set on me. I threw my arms around him, breathing in his familiar scent. His hand pressed against the small of my back, and for the first time since I'd headed out for Snow Veil Sanctum, I felt joy.
My glee was cut short by a sudden shove against my chest. Although he still held onto my back with his left hand, his right held a gleaming silver sword against my neck. The excitement I'd embraced hadn't given me the chance to see the hostility in his once-pure gaze. There was none of the playfulness or warmth I'd grown to love. There was no mischievous glint in his bright green eyes, only the flames of fury as he stared me down. I was trapped, unable to speak from shock and unable to move from his restraining grip.
"Bryn-"
"Don't you 'Bryn' me, you lying wretch," Brynjolf hissed, the animosity in his voice almost physically painful to hear. I swallowed the lump that had reformed in my throat, and my skin scraped against the sharp blade being held against my neck. A tiny pain and a warm trickling sensation let me know I'd been cut. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't cut you apart." I'd never been so bewildered in my life.
"What are you doing?" I whispered, mind drawing a blank. "Bryn, let- let me go, I-"
Brynjolf squeezed his hand against my back, eliciting a squeak of pain from my throat. Instead of the sweet apologetic eyes I'd once received when he'd accidentally hurt me in the past, there was grim acceptance and anger. He lifted his lips in a silent snarl and shoved me away, showing no remorse or concern when I crashed to the hard stony ground.
"Russet!" Karliah exclaimed, hurrying to help me up. I wiped at my scraped hands, and as I did, Karliah's hood fell away. The tension in the room instantly multiplied tenfold.
Brynjolf glared at me heatedly before tipping his head to Karliah. "Don't let her escape." Instantly, Dirge and Maul had their hands on Karliah's biceps. As I met the Dunmer's hopeless eyes, I realized I'd made a severe error in judgment.
"What are you doing?" I shouted, a whorl of emotions in my chest.
"You'd better have a damn good reason to be here with that murderer," he growled, raising his sword aggressively. "Though I'd venture to say you're not much better." Brynjolf bent down and started whispering to me with both misery and wrath in his voice. "I was wrong to take you in, Russet." His lips brushed my ear as his volume dropped to almost nothing. "I was wrong to love you."
