((31st of Evening Star/December, 4E 202))

My heart pounded in my chest, standing so close to Brynjolf, but it wasn't in the same way as before. I'd grown used to the odd feeling beforehand, just so much excitement I could burst, a sensation in my chest so peculiar I had no choice but to embrace. It had been standard how just a simple 'hello' from Brynjolf managed to choke me up for a reason I couldn't discern, and as he walked away, feel the pulling for me to follow. It had always been this sensation in my chest, my heart beating faster each time I'd given in and kissed him.

I was wrong to love you.

His pointed jab cut deep into me, and I knew then Karliah was right. If he didn't mean the world to me, then it wouldn't hurt like this to be hated by him. The way my heart beat now, heavy and melancholic, was the opposite of what it had once been. My private sentiments and secret delight no longer fueled it. This damnable heart of mine was turning to stone to protect itself. What other choice did it have? I closed my eyes, welcoming the change.

My blood boiled in my chest, and I found the passion I'd lost upon entering the Ragged Flagon. My walls were rebuilding, and they reignited my solitary anger. My wolf spirit howled vigorously, rearing its head and urging me to let it free.

I met Brynjolf's eyes, regarding him with the same furious misery he'd shown to me as I clutched his cuirass and drew him close. "Likewise," I snarled, placing a foot on his chest and sending him tumbling backward. As Brynjolf picked himself up off the floor, he held up a hand to stop the entire Guild from rushing me. "Oh, you want me for yourself, do you?" My challenge appeared to enrage him.

"You won't get the best of me with tricks and kisses this time, lass," he growled vehemently, cracking his knuckles.

"Oh, can't I?" I batted my eyelashes cutely and pursed my lips. "I don't seem to recall you complaining."

"Get away from him, Russet!" I caught Sapphire rushing me out of the corner of my eye, and with little to no effort, took a step back, seized her by the arm, and swung her into the cistern's dirty water. Niruin followed her, another Guildmember I'd once considered a friend.

I stared Brynjolf in the eye. "You know as well as I do that I could tear everyone in this room apart." My eyes flashed, reflecting the wolf inside.

Brynjolf curled his fingers into fists, breathing growing heavy. "You beast. Do you hear me? You're a beast!"

"What did I do to you?!"

"Wha- are you crazy?!"

"Jackass!"

"Traitorous-"

"Backstabbing-"

"Bitch-"

"Skeever-"

"That's enough!" Karliah's voice echoed around the cistern, finally quieting both Brynjolf and me down. "Please, calm down! Let me speak, all of you!" She looked back and forth between Dirge and Maul. "And let me go. You know we can't go anywhere." Neither moved a muscle. "Brynjolf, I have proof you've been misled! Proof you've all been misled!"

Vex slipped through the crowd of Guildmembers, shouldering the soaked Sapphire aside. "Why should we trust you?" she challenged, drawing a pair of matching steel dirks from her sides. "The first time you step foot in the cistern in a decade, you end up attacking the Guildmembers you claimed loyalty to." Vex eyed me up and down. "Then again, I don't suppose we should expect anything different from you, Russet. After all, you've got a track record."

I turned my back to Brynjolf, unwilling to face him a second longer. I might break something of his that wouldn't be easy to fix if I did. Instead, I headed for Karliah and pulled her free of Dirge and Maul. The brothers looked at each other, but neither restrained Karliah again. "Shadows, this wasn't supposed to happen like this. This was never meant to become an altercation of this scale!" Karliah rooted around in her pack before withdrawing Gallus' journal. "I beg of you, listen."

Brynjolf looked back and forth between me, Karliah, and the leatherbound book in the Dark Elf's hands. I noted recognition in his eyes. "Is that what I think it is?" he queried gruffly, not moving a muscle to retrieve it.

Karliah nodded solemnly. "It is." She continued to hold it out, walking past me to hand it to him. He didn't lower his sword, but he did carefully reach for the journal with his free hand.

"No tricks, either of you," Brynjolf warned, motioning for Delvin to step in front of him before placing his sword back into his sheath. "Or I'll cut you both down where you stand."

"I'd gut you before you so much as touched your sword," I threatened, mind roiling with anger that melted away my trust and respect in him.

Brynjolf held the journal up, not opening it just yet. "This is your so-called proof, then?"

I curled up my lip at his arrogance. "You know what it is. It's Gallus' journal." I raised my voice so the rest of the cistern could hear. "You hear me? That is the personal journal straight from the body of Gallus Desidenius! Go on, Brynjolf. Read it. You'll regret this."

Karliah sent me a pleading look to keep quiet. "I think you'll find its contents disturbing, Brynjolf."

Brynjolf glared at me solely before flipping the journal open to the first page. I watched with twisted amusement as the emotions on his face changed from furious to confusion, to shock, and finally to horror as he turned the pages. "No," he murmured, looking up at Delvin and Vex in disbelief. "No, no, no... it can't be. It just can't." The Nord refused to meet my gaze no matter how much I stared at him. "This can't be true, Karliah. I- I know Mercer too well; I've known him too long."

"I thought I knew who you were," I commented derisively. "I suppose we're both lacking in judgment." Brynjolf still avoided my angry eyes. My head was still spinning from his insults while my chest shook from the betrayal.

"It's true, Brynjolf," insisted Karliah, cautiously stepping forward. "Mercer has been stealing from the Guild for years, right under your noses." Brynjolf slammed the journal shut.

"There's only one way to find out if what you say is true." He faced Delvin. "I'll need you to open the vault." Delvin, who had been silent up to this moment, stared at Brynjolf in perplexity.

"Wait just a damned moment, Brynjolf." Delvin looked back and forth between Brynjolf and me. "What's in that book? What did it say?"

Brynjolf tossed the journal to Delvin. "It says Mercer's been stealing from us. Gallus was looking into it before he was murdered," the red-haired Nord replied testily, motioning for Delvin to follow.

"How can Mercer open up a vault that needs two keys?" Delvin queried in disbelief. "It's impossible." He scratched his chin as he thought. "Could he pick his way in?"

"No way," Vex piped up. "That door has the best puzzle locks money can buy. It can't be picked open."

"He didn't need to pick the lock." Karliah approached the vault unfettered by those around her and gently placed a hand on the adjacent wall.

Delvin raised a brow and stared at the Dunmer woman as if she'd suddenly grown two heads. "Wha's she goin' on about?"

I licked my dry lips, trying to hold onto the anger that was the only thing keeping me upright. "Go on. Use your keys."

Brynjolf withdrew a gleaming golden key from the inside of his cuirass and held it up. "Use your key first, Delvin," he ordered, stepping back to allow his fellow thief to pass. "We'll open it up and find out the truth."

Delvin pulled out a similar key from his pocket and twirled it around on his finger before inserting it into the first lock and twisting it. "There." He tugged at the door, but it didn't budge in the slightest. "I used my key, but the vault's still locked up tighter than a drum. Now use yours."

The click of Brynjolf's lock seemed to echo around the entire cistern. Each of us held our breath as the Nordic man lit the torch, and his ensuing cry of enraged disbelief made it clear to all what he'd found inside. "By- by the Eight! It's gone!" he shrieked. "Everything's gone! Get in here, all of you!" Brynjolf's demand was unnecessary as we'd already assembled within to inspect the barren room. There was nothing, not even a single coin. Everything the Guild had worked for, toiled day and night to achieve, was gone.

A noise that sounded like a strangled frog managed to work its way from Delvin's throat. "The gold! The jewels!" he croaked, reaching for the empty air. "It's all gone! Bloody vanished!"

Vex flung her daggers into the wall, shattering one and cracking the other. "That son of a bitch!" she screamed, yanking at her hair.

"Vex, calm down," Brynjolf ordered. "We need to stay calm. We can't afford to lose our heads."

I glowered intensely at him. "Calm down? That would have been a good plan for you about ten minutes ago."

Vex continued to rant while Bryn still looked away from me. "I'll kill him! I swear to the gods, I'll kill him."

"Actually, that honor belongs to me," I spat, "since he tried to kill me first."

Brynjolf finally looked my way, horrified remorse forming in his eyes. "He..."

I nodded slowly and set my arms akimbo. "Answer me this, Brynjolf. What story did Frey spin to you? I assume it was something about me being a villain of some sort?"

"Well..." He scratched at his beard nervously. "Not at first. He told us Karliah had murdered you, and then after I learned you were still alive, he- he said you were probably working with her. Everything fit. I thought that you-"

I laughed loudly despite finding no humor whatsoever in my situation. "Isn't that the funniest thing? No, Bryn. Mercer assaulted me in the inner sanctum, beat me down, and used me as a human shield. I was paralyzed on the floor as I listened to everything he and Karliah said." I eyed Karliah, then Delvin, Vex, and Brynjolf in turn. "I suppose I heard too much. Once Karliah disappeared, Mercer decided I was a loose end." Ignoring the shame of my bare body, I ripped open my cuirass and displayed the still-healing gash on my torso. "His intent was to kill me." I gave them a few seconds to stare at the wound before buttoning myself back up, ignoring the burn in my cheeks. "He almost succeeded."

Brynjolf sat on the empty table and put his head in his hands. "I- lass, I-" He seemed lost for words, something I hadn't often seen from him. "Delvin, Vex, watch the Flagon. If you see Mercer, detain him and send someone to let me know immediately." The two nodded and headed off, leaving just Karliah, Brynjolf, and me in the empty vault. Offering me an apologetic glance, Karliah backed away, leaving me with the man I'd let break my heart. I refused to give passage to the tears threatening to well up in my eyes as I stared Brynjolf down. "I..."

"Brynjolf," I said calmly, "if I were you, I wouldn't bother." He held out a hand to reach for me, and I swatted his hand away without a second thought. "I said, don't bother."

"Lass, I didn't know."

I widened my eyes as big as they would go in mock astonishment. "Oh, so we're back to lass now? What happened to, say, traitor? Bitch? Ooh, or my personal favorite- beast?" Brynjolf drew back from my jabs. He tried to hold onto my hand, but I ripped my arm out of his grasp and touched the open cut on my neck. "You didn't wait to hear my side of the story." I backhanded him across the face with all the strength I could muster. He didn't fight back; he simply cradled the harsh red mark I'd left on his cheek.

"Please, try to understand-"

"I don't have to try to understand jack. You didn't bother; why should I?" My voice rose into a scream as I harvested the seeds of confusion and angst he'd planted. "What, you didn't know? you didn't wait to find out either, did you?" I challenged, slapping him once more. "You'd have killed me where I stood!" I shoved him off the table and onto the dusty stone ground.

I leaned against the table, my head hung low. "You didn't even listen to me! You were ready to slit my neck!" He didn't have a defense. "What did I do? What have I ever done to make you distrust me?" I let my mouth hang open, a thousand questions stillborn in my mouth as none would receive an answer.

How could you disregard me so readily? Why did you hurt me just as I became willing to open my heart? Why would you conclude that I was a traitor? Why didn't I mean enough for you to listen? We had possibilities and hope before us... was I ever anything to you? Or was it all a game? Are you even telling me the truth now? Or are you just ashamed at having made such a destructive choice?

Brynjolf pulled himself to his feet. "I don't expect you to believe me, lass, but I... I am sorry."

"Fickle son of a bitch." I turned away from him, chest swelling with a myriad of emotions I wasn't ready to deal with. "Funny... you said something a few minutes ago, and I have to agree."

He almost sounded afraid as he replied. "...With what?"

I stormed away as I spoke, leaving my words in the wind. "I was wrong to love you, too."