Summary: The journey home proves that even the victor
suffers losses. Outline by my dear
friend, Survak.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The premise and characters belong to
them. The story belongs to me. If they want this, they can have it. Though, I know they would never want
it. Seven doesn't feature in it at all,
and no one pines for her or longs to kiss her.
Not exactly Brannon Braga material.
Star Trek: Voyager and all things contained therein are the
property of Paramount Pictures. No
infringement intended.
Authors Note: This
is the only story I have ever written where a main character dies. I did it purely for a fanfic contest at
Voyager Central. Though, I must admit,
considering the way Robert Beltran has been mouthing off lately – writing this
was somewhat of a pleasure.
This
story won Second Place in the Voyager Central Fatal Finale Contest.
~ Tears of the Sky Spirits ~
The cider was sparkling, like her eyes.
The lighting was soft, like her skin.
And the music was tranquil and serene, like
her mood at that moment.
As Chakotay leaned back in his seat and
watched her, it seemed to him that Kathryn had finally accepted life here in
the Delta Quadrant. She hadn't given up
on getting back to Earth, of course.
Chakotay doubted she ever would.
But it was as though she had finally learned to think of Voyager as home
for the time being, instead of some wayward stop along her transition in
life. He had told her countless times
about the old adage that his father was so fond of spouting. "Home is wherever you happen to be." Judging by the lack of tension in her
graceful shoulders, and the long-lost luminescence he saw shining in her blue
eyes, it appeared she had finally listened.
Inner peace ~ perhaps it was with Kathryn at last.
"So, what's this I hear about Lieutenant
Myers and Ensign Zito getting friendly in the mess hall last week?" Kathryn held her wine glass near her lips as
she spoke, a smirk spreading across her face.
Chakotay grinned, enjoying her mischievous
expression. "Apparently, the two of
them have become rather fond of each other."
She took a sip of her Antarian cider, arching
one delicate eyebrow at her dinner partner over the rim of her glass. "Oh come on, Chakotay. You know more than that. Don't make me order you to tell me."
"Order me?"
Chakotay shook his dark head softly as he chuckled. "I didn't realize that gossiping with the
captain was included in the first officer's job description."
"You're closer to the crew than I am. You know I count on you to keep me informed
of all the latest scuttlebutt." She
attempted a lesser version of the death glare, but the mirth in her eyes
betrayed her. "Besides, your job
description includes anything I want it to, Mister."
He couldn't resist. "Really?" Flash of the
dimples. "Anything?"
Kathryn felt the blush creep across her
cheeks as Chakotay's dark brown eyes playfully challenged her. "You know what I meant." She chided.
"You know, Kathryn, it occurs to me … in the
seven years we've served together, all the ships functions we've attended
together, you've never danced with me."
Her surprise registered clearly on her
flushed face. "Danced with you?"
"Yes."
He rose to his feet and stood next to her. "This music is perfect for dancing. I finished the crew evaluations for you, prepared your favorite
meal, and even shared my last bottle of Antarian cider with you."
"Your point?"
"My point is that the least you could
do is dance with me." He offered her his hand and a completely disarming
smile. "We'll talk about the most
you could do afterwards."
She laughed a deep, throaty laugh as she rose
and took his hand. "Don't push your
luck, Commander."
"Can't blame a guy for trying." He teased as
he took her in his arms. "Blame it on
the cider."
He felt her stiffen ever so slightly as he
put his hand on the small of her back.
He moved slowly, allowing her to gently ease into his embrace. He was rewarded for his patience as Kathryn
relaxed and rested her head on his chest.
"Computer, increase music volume by 5%."
They stood there in Chakotay's quarters,
wrapped in each other's arms and swaying to the soft music. The alien constellations of the Delta
Quadrant twinkled outside the viewport, and the lightly perfumed scent of her
hair filled Chakotay's nose and washed over his senses. He knew that this was one of those perfect
moments that a person thinks about for the rest of his life. He loved her, he was certain of it. And if she would allow him these moments,
these rare moments with just the two of them when he could hold her in his arms
- he would not ask for more. Not until
she was ready. But he had to admit, as
he felt her slender body press up against his, he hoped it would be soon.
~*~*~*~*~
Harry Kim leaned back in the command chair, probably
a more relaxed posture than was really appropriate on the bridge. The night shift was just beginning, and he
was already tired. Not a good sign this
early in the night. He sighed in
resignation of the long hours ahead and punched the buttons on the display
console to his right. He was half
daydreaming about Megan Delaney in her Demonica costume when the crewman at
tactical spoke.
"Sir," he stuttered nervously, "I'm detecting
high levels of tachyeon emissions up ahead.
I'm … I'm not sure what it's from."
Harry jumped to his feet. "I'm going to need a better description than
that, Crewman." How many times had
Captain Janeway said those very words to him?
The nervous crewmen's fingers danced over his
console. His eyes grew wide as the
readings began to make sense in his mind.
"It's a transwarp conduit opening 50,000 kilometers off our starboard
bow." The younger man locked eyes with
Acting-Captain Kim. "It's a Borg cube,
sir."
"Red Alert!" Harry ordered before the words
were even out of the crewman's mouth.
"Captain Janeway to the bridge."
In mere seconds, the cube appeared on the
view screen. The image of the ominous
ship grew rapidly as it approached Voyager.
"They're hailing us, sir."
"On screen."
Harry turned to the viewer, prepared to hear the all too familiar voice
of the Borg collective drone on about assimilation. The image that appeared before him was the last thing he was
expecting to see.
She stood smirking at him. Her pale, greenish skin, her eyes black and
shiny as onyx, and her oddly seductive cybernetically enhanced figure – they
evoked the same mixture of terror and intrigue as they had the first time he
saw her.
The Borg Queen.
He hoped he'd never see her again, yet he
couldn't take his eyes off her even as his stomach crashed to the deck.
"Hello, Harry." She drawled
provocatively. "You're looking well."
Harry Kim had never been so grateful to hear
the hiss of the turbolift doors.
Janeway entered the bridge, Chakotay at her heels, and stood next to
Harry on the command deck. If she was
surprised at the image on the viewer, she didn't let it show. Her eyes narrowed loathingly as she met the
Borg Queen's unmoving gaze.
"Captain Janeway." The Borg nodded slightly in greeting.
Janeway merely quirked a brow in
response. "I'd like to say it's a
pleasure, but…"
"I think we're beyond such superficial banter
by now, aren't we Captain?"
"I agree." She said, easing herself into the
command seat and crossing her legs causally as if this were any other routine communication. "So what'd you say we cut to the chase and
you tell me what it is you want, hmmm?"
"You are direct for a human, aren't you?"
"I thought the Borg preferred efficient
conversation." Janeway retorted.
"Nothing short of directness is worthy of a Borg Queen such as
yourself. Or shall I call you 'Your
Majesty'?"
Chakotay was sure he saw anger, or was it
hatred, flash in the Borg Queen's dark eyes.
Janeway had beaten her repeatedly, something the Borg were unaccustomed
to. But he thought it served her right
for daring to tangle with Captain Kathryn Janeway in the first place. Anyone who did learned quickly that she was
a force to be reckoned with, as he had learned the first day he met her.
"There's no need for hostility, Captain." she
said. "You can power down your weapons
and cancel your battle alert. I'm not
here to fight you."
"Really?" Janeway drawled. "Then why exactly are you here?"
"I have a proposition for you and your crew."
She said matter-of-factly.
Paris had to chuckle aloud at that one. He turned and glanced at Janeway over his
shoulder. "A proposition from the
Borg?"
The captain ignored him. She rose to her feet and studied her nemesis
through narrow, suspicious eyes. "I'm
listening."
The Borg Queen moved closer, her image on the
view screen growing larger with each step.
"You and your friends from Unimatrix Zero have caused quite a disruption
in the Collective."
A slight smile tugged at Janeway's lips. "I can't say I'm sorry to hear that."
Her cybernetically enhanced face contorted
with barely contained anger at Janeway's smugness. "Gloat if you wish, Captain.
It is a situation I intend to rectify."
She schooled her features into an expression of calm detachment. "Let's be painfully honest, shall we?"
"By all means."
"Your presence in this quadrant spawns
further conflict within the hive, and encourages the renegade drones to
continue this ridiculous fight. The
Collective has been weakened by this insurrection. And your ship is not exactly in its prime condition after seven
years of almost constant battle situations."
"What exactly is your point?" Janeway said as
she folded her arms across her chest.
"My point is simply this; neither side can
afford what would surely be a costly battle.
However, I need you out of this quadrant, one way or another. I'm prepared to offer you a transwarp coil,
much like the one you stole from the damaged sphere two years ago." Her face took on a deadly serious
expression. "You can fit the coil to
your ship's systems and be home in less than 24 hours. Gone from the Delta Quadrant forever."
Janeway glanced at Chakotay, trying to ignore
the pounding of her own pulse in her ears.
One coil would get them home in a matter of hours, but she knew the Borg
far too well to ever take anything they said at face value. "And if I refuse?"
"You're a formidable opponent, Captain
Janeway. I prefer not to engage you in
battle again given the circumstances. … but I will if you leave me no
choice." Her black eyes bore into
Janeway's skull. "Take the offered
technology and get your people home. Or
I will destroy you."
Janeway returned the glare. "I think you know by now how I respond to
threats."
"Don't posture with me, Janeway. Save your energy for your journey home. You're going to need it." Her dark eyes focused on Harry, who had
moved to his station. "Tell her,
Harry."
The dark headed ensign stared blankly at the
Borg woman. "Huh?" he squeaked.
"Tell your beloved captain how much you want
to get home. How very badly you miss
your parents and the feeling of Earth's soil beneath your feet. She can give you all of that in mere hours
if she'll simply listen to reason and stay out of things that don't concern
her."
Harry returned her gaze, but remained silent
as he clasped his hands behind his back.
That was Harry's way, soft spoken even in defiance.
"Such loyalty toward your captain is
impressive, Harry." Drawled the Queen.
"You would make an excellent drone."
If the situation hadn't been so serious,
Chakotay would've laughed aloud as he watched the color drain from Harry's
face. The Borg Queen loved to taunt
him, and despite Harry's valiant attempts to look unaffected, it was obvious
that he found her unnerving.
The Borg leader locked eyes with Janeway and
her voice carried a deadly intonation as she spoke. "You have one hour to make your decision, Captain. I suggest you make it wisely. The lives of your people depend on it." Then she cut the transmission, leaving only
the daunting image of the Borg cube floating ominously before them.
~*~*~*~*~
Janeway stood and paced around the conference
table, her slender hands trying desperately to massage away her growing
headache. She'd been in this meeting
with her senior staff for almost 40 minutes now, and she still hadn't reached a
decision.
"It would only take my people a few hours to
fit a transwarp coil to our engines, Captain." said Torres.
"That is irrelevant." Said Seven in her
customary haughty tone. "She is
deceiving you, Captain. The Borg do not
make propositions or negotiate. They
assimilate."
Janeway shook her head. "Not always, Seven. They've negotiated with us before. In fact, that's how you came to join us,
during a temporary alliance."
"Perhaps your recollection of that alliance
is flawed." She countered. "The Borg
never intended to adhere to your terms.
They were simply using you to attain a goal. You would all have been assimilated had you not managed to
outsmart the Collective in the last few moments of the battle."
"What makes you think we can't outsmart them
again?" asked Tom. "We've certainly had
plenty of practice at it."
Janeway chuckled slightly. True enough. They'd tangled with the Borg more times in the last seven years
than most humans do in a lifetime.
"Maybe they plan to coax us into a transwarp
conduit, and then attack while we have no where to run." Said B'Elanna.
"It's possible." Said Tom, his hands folded
on the table in front of him. "Once
we're inside a conduit, there isn't much room to maneuver. The Borg have fought us enough times to know
that evasive sequences and strategically aimed phaser blasts are our biggest
strength against a ship as massive as a cube."
Janeway shook her auburn head. "It's more than that. If they wanted to destroy us, they could've
simply have attacked with several cubes and overwhelmed us by sheer
numbers. She's after something else."
"Maybe not, Captain." offered Neelix. "We know from the liberated drones we've
kept in contact with that the fighting has continued and the Collective has taken
heavy losses. Perhaps they don't have
enough ships to spare for a full scale attack."
"And they'd have to pull ships from other
locations to do it. Ships that may be
protecting crucial Borg areas." Said Chakotay.
"You underestimate the Collective." Said
Seven.
"I don't think so, Seven." Janeway
answered. "They've lost countless
drones and hundreds of ships since the insurrection began. They aren't the united force they used to
be."
Chakotay was following Janeway's line of
thinking. "The Borg Queen did say that
they'd been weakened by the liberation of so many drones. Perhaps her views have changed since she
lost so many of her people. She might
just want us out of her way as quickly and as easily as possible."
Harry Kim nodded emphatically. "It might all be true. Maybe she doesn't want a battle with Voyager
to further weaken her numbers when she could simply get us out of the way with
a piece of technology."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow at the young
officer. "Your desire to reach Earth
may be coloring your perception of the events, Ensign. It is illogical to think that the Borg have
suddenly developed a desire to search for a peaceful solution to their
problems."
"I agree." Said Seven. "It is not their way. You're being naive if you believe the Borg
have no ulterior motive."
"Oh, I'm sure there's some underlying
motivation at work here, Seven," assured Janeway. "The question is, can we out-manipulate them?"
Chakotay's dark eyes searched hers. "Captain?"
Janeway stopped pacing and rested her hand on
Chakotay's shoulder. "I'm going to take
Her Majesty up on her offer. That
transwarp coil could have us home tomorrow if we play our cards right."
"Are you saying you have a plan, Captain?"
asked the Doctor. His holographic mind
was already contemplating the numerous casualties Janeway's wild plans were
famous for generating. He would be a
busy hologram, no doubt.
"We're going to plan for every conceivable
contingency, just like we did when we went after Maj Cullah and the Kazon."
"As I recall," mumbled the Doctor, "it didn't
go so well with the Kazon. They took
over the ship and left you all to die on a volcanically active planet."
Janeway ignored him. "I can't pass up another opportunity to get
this crew home just because the road ahead my be a bit bumpy. We're going to accept the coil, and we're
going home. All we have to do is
outsmart the collective minds of hundreds of cultures, and keep Voyager in one
peace."
Paris chuckled. "Piece of cake."
~*~*~*~
Janeway pulled her jacket off before taking a
seat across from Chakotay at the small table.
He'd made dinner for her again, reasoning that since their last meal
together was interrupted, it didn't really count.
"This looks delicious, Chakotay." She said as
he spooned marinara sauce over her pasta.
"Smells wonderful too. If you
keep feeding me like this, I'll get so fat I'll have to roll though the
corridors instead of walk."
He chuckled softly. "I doubt you'll ever have to worry about your weight,
Kathryn. It takes more than one meal
every couple of days and to get fat."
She smiled wryly at him as she picked up her
freshly poured cup of java. "I guess
I'm lucky that coffee isn't fattening, hmmm?"
"If it was, you'd be the size of a large
shuttle by now."
They ate and chatted amicably for a while,
both trying not to focus too much on the long hours that lay ahead. But soon enough, the subject of Earth came
up.
"So, what's the first thing you plan to do
when we get home, Captain?"
She actually looked surprised at the question. "I don't know. I guess I haven't really allowed myself to think about it."
"Oh, come on." He prodded. "There must be something. One thing you've been longing to do all this
time."
She cupped her coffee mug between her hands
and bit her lower lip in thought. "One
thing, huh? I guess I would call Mark."
Now Chakotay looked surprised, and even a
little hurt. "Mark? I thought he got married."
She laughed and touched his arm gently. "Yes, he did. But last I heard, he still had my dog. I want her back if she's still alive."
Chakotay's broad shoulders seemed to
relax. He flashed Janeway a warm
smile. "Right, your dog. I'd forgotten."
"What about you? Who will you call, Chakotay?"
He shrugged.
"Probably my sister, Atraya."
Kathryn's eyes grew wide. "Your sister? I didn't even know you had a sister! Why haven't you mentioned her before?"
"I don't talk about her much. We're not very close, never really have
been. In fact, it's only since we got
the ability to send messages to Earth that I've been in contact with her. Before that, I hadn't spoken to her in
years."
"Well…" Kathryn said, raising a delicate
eyebrow at him, "You're a man of mystery, Chakotay. I thought I knew everything about you. What other secrets are you hiding?"
He dropped her gaze, staring down at his
plate of half eaten food. "Oh … just
one."
A throaty laugh escaped her lips. "Let me guess." She teased. "You're actually a Cardassian spy." She didn't wait for him to answer. "No, no wait. You're hiding an Orion animal women in your closet."
He laughed aloud for a moment, and then his
dark eyes grew serious. "No, that's not
it."
Suddenly Kathryn realized that Chakotay
wasn't joking. He really did have a
secret. She felt her stomach tense up
and her heartbeat quicken. She placed
her hand over his. "What is it,
Chakotay? What's your secret?"
He stared intently at her, searching her eyes
for something. But for what? She said nothing as he stood and pulled her
to her feet.
"I don't think I can tell you my secret,
Kathryn. I don't know how to put it
into words." He took her small
shoulders in his hands and pulled her closer to him. "But I can show you."
The world around them fell quiet as Chakotay
cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers. He moved slowly, allowing her time to pull
away if she chose. But she didn't. Her eyes closed and her arms snaked around
his neck, pulling him closer to her as she returned the kiss.
Chakotay took his time, reveling in the sweet
taste of her lips pressing against his.
He'd dreamed of this moment for years, and he kissed her with abandon.
Kathryn knew she shouldn't allow this. But with any luck, they'd be home by this
time tomorrow, and she could finally have a life – a life with Chakotay. The thought both thrilled and terrified
her. When the kiss ended, she rested
her head against his chest, unsure of where they'd go from here.
Chakotay pressed his cheek into her silky
hair and wrapped her tightly in his arms.
It felt so good to hold her next to him. "The next few days are going to be hectic, and there will be many
decisions to be made. I know you have
to be focused on the task at hand right now.
But I just wanted you to know that I'll be there for you when it's all
done. I don't expect you to make any
decisions about us right now. I don't
even expect you to tell me how you feel.
All I ask is that you keep an open mind. Don't rule out the possibilities of a life together on Earth, a
life with me by your side."
He placed a finger under her chin and lifted
her face to his. "I love you,
Kathryn. Promise me you'll never doubt
that."
Kathryn wanted to tell him that she loved him
too, that she wanted nothing more than to be with him. But she couldn't, not yet. It would be too easy to get swept up in it
and forget about the rest of the world.
She had to keep her eye on the ball.
So she brought her hand to his cheek tenderly and whispered, "I
promise."
~*~*~*~
B'Elanna hadn't exaggerated when she'd said
that her people could fit the transwarp coil to Voyager's engines easily. The installation had gone off without a
hitch, and the technology had passed all preliminary tests within acceptable
parameters. They were ready.
"Status of the Borg cube, Mr. Kim?"
Harry tapped at his controls. "It's sitting in the same position it's been
in all day, Captain. No change in
energy readings or weapons status."
"Confirmed." Added Tuvok. "They appear to be merely observing as the
Borg Queen informed us they would."
"Any other Borg vessels on long range scans?"
asked Chakotay.
"Negative."
"Well, then…" said Janeway as she took her
seat in the command chair. "Sounds like
it's time to go home. Mr. Kim, put me
through to the entire ship."
"Channel open, Ma'am."
"All hands, this is the Captain. We're about to bring the transwarp coil
online. This ride may be a little
bumpy, so find a seat with a view and hold on tight. With any luck, and a lot of skill, we'll be home in a matter of
hours. Janeway out."
"We're ready down here,
Captain."
came B'Elanna's disconnected voice from engineering.
She nodded to her bridge crew, giving the
signal to begin. "Do it."
The technology functioned as it was designed
to, under the close scrutiny of Seven of Nine.
The entrance into the transwarp conduit wasn't nearly as turbulent as
Janeway had anticipated, probably due entirely to the highly skilled pilot
seated at the helm.
"Nice flying, Mr. Paris."
"All in a day's work, Captain." he grinned.
Janeway shot a glance at Chakotay, and he
offered a supportive smile in return.
She made a mental note to tell him how much his presence comforted her,
how she loved his smile and the sound of his voice, and how she would be
absolutely lost without him - when all this was over. But for now, she had to focus.
"Captain…"
Tuvok's voice was tinged with faint apprehension. "The Borg vessel has followed us into the
conduit."
"I see it." Said Harry. "They're behind us at 15,000 kilometers and
closing fast."
"Aft view on screen." Ordered Chakotay.
Janeway rose to her feet. She schooled her expression into one of calm
control. The crew needed to see her
looking confident. "Okay, people. Stay sharp.
We'll make it through this."
Suddenly, the ship jerked back hard, sending
Janeway and the others crashing to the deck.
She heard Tuvok's calm baritone as she pulled herself to her feet. "They've locked on with a tractor beam,
Captain."
She glanced briefly at her bridge crew making
sure they were all okay. A huge gash on
her forehead oozed bright red blood that trickled down her face and into her
eyes. She swiped absently at it with
the sleeve of her uniform, smearing it across her delicate features.
"Tuvok, reverse the shield polarity. Try and disrupt that tractor beam."
"Aye, Captain." He tapped at his controls with a Vulcan calm that Janeway
sometimes envied. A few seconds later,
the ship lurched forward as it broke free from the grip of the Borg's tractor
beam.
"Mr. Paris, can we increase speed?"
"Not if you want your ship in one piece when
we exit this conduit." He replied, his voice strained as he executed what few
evasive maneuvers he could in such a small space. "The gravimetric sheer will tear us apart. I'm pushing structural integrity as it is."
Before Janeway could respond, the cube fired on
the small ship. The green energy beam
sliced right through Voyager's shields and seared into the hull. It was followed by several more shots in
rapid succession. Kathryn was thrown
mercilessly to the deck once again. She
winced as her shoulder made impact with the unforgiving deck plates. She heard a sickening popping noise as her
shoulder popped out of the socket.
Chakotay was beside her in an instant, his
strong arms hoisting her to her feet.
She bit her lip, muffling the painful groan that was working its way up
her throat. She tried to ignore the
intense, burning pain coursing through her arm. "Report."
"Direct hit, Captain." said Tuvok. "Our weapons have been disabled."
Janeway looked to Chakotay. "If her goal was to destroy us, we'd be dead
by now. She could've just as easily
targeted the shield generators, or even the warp core."
He nodded his understanding. "Agreed.
But what does she want?" he asked.
"Why disable our weapons, but leave the ship intact?"
Suddenly, as if a fog had lifted from her
mind, Janeway understood. "She wants
the ship in one piece, so she can claim it for her own." She whispered.
Chakotay's brow furrowed in confusion. "Captain?"
Her blue eyes had a far away look as she
stared at the image of the cube in pursuit.
"Think about it, Chakotay. We've
defeated her time and again. And we
aided the drones in Unimatrix Zero. Our
actions resulted in a civil war. We
disrupted her way of life and lived to tell about it. Humanity has successfully resisted assimilation for years, and
this ship has continually eluded her."
"She wants revenge." He realized.
"Yes." She said. "And she's had one goal on her agenda for a very long time. Now she intends to claim it, or die trying."
"She wants to assimilate Earth." Paris said.
"Exactly!"
Janeway paced as she spoke. "And
what better way to do it than by assimilating Voyager and her crew, and then
having her newest drones on the front lines."
"My God," Chakotay whispered. "She plans to use us to assimilate our own people."
"I disagree." Said Seven from the science
station. "The Borg do not engage in
revenge. It is an inefficient use of
time. You are applying your own human
emotions to a being incapable of such feelings."
Janeway shook her head. "No.
The insurrection changed the Borg Queen, Seven. I watched her destroy her own people,
billions of drones, just to manipulate and hurt me. I assure you, efficiency and perfection were the farthest things
from her mind at the time. She looked
at me with such hatred. She even
reached out to crush my throat in anger.
Had it actually been my body and not just a projection, she'd have
killed me with her bare hands." She
looked at Seven pointedly. "No, this
isn't about Borg perfection. This is
personal."
"Okay." Said Chakotay. "Now we know her plan. What do we do about it? We have no weapons."
"Our phasers may be down, Chakotay. But we're far from defenseless." She turned her gaze to Tuvok. "Commander Tuvok, if we fire a volley of
photon torpedoes into the conduit just as we exit, what are the chances it
would collapse the conduit and destroy the Borg vessel?"
His eyebrow rose at the thought. Captain Janeway was a most resourceful
leader, unorthodox though she may be.
"If we time it perfectly, there is a probability of 89.9% that we will
be successful. However, there will be
no margin for error. If we fire
prematurely, we will be destroyed as well.
If we fire too late, the Borg vessel will escape the conduit before it
collapses. But Captain, I must inform
you; the torpedo bays were damaged when we were fired upon. The weapons would have to be loaded and
fired manually from the bay itself."
Janeway sighed. Manually firing such powerful weapons was dangerous at best. The last time they'd faced such a situation,
she'd done it herself and spent a week in sickbay with severe burns as a
result. But they had no choice. They had to stop the Borg Queen before she
assimilated them and then Earth.
Before she could wrestle with the decision of
who would go, Chakotay tapped his combadge and spoke. "Chakotay to Torres. I
need an engineering team to meet me in the torpedo bay immediately."
"Acknowledged."
Janeway's heart leapt into her throat. "No, Chakotay. I'm going." She said, her hands on her hips. "I've done it before. I can do it again."
Chakotay smiled softly, his dark eyes
conveying the deep love he held for her.
His voice was soft but firm as he spoke. "No, Captain. We're in
the fight of our lives. Your place is
on the bridge." He touched her hand
lightly as he turned to go. "Don't
worry. I'll see you soon, Kathryn."
She nodded her understanding. "Yes, you will. That's an order."
"Yes, Ma'am." He grinned. He glanced at the Vulcan officer as he made
his way to the turbolift. "How much time
do we have, Mr. Tuvok?"
"You will have six minutes to load the
weapons and prepare to fire."
"And I thought I was going to be rushed." He
joked as the lift doors hissed closed.
The next six minutes were the longest of
Janeway's life. Finally, she heard
Chakotay's breathless voice through her communicator.
"Chakotay to the bridge. We're ready when you are."
"Acknowledged." She replied. "Stand by to fire on my mark. And … good luck, Commander."
"We'll be exiting the conduit in 5 … 4 … 3 …" said Harry.
She waited for Tuvok's signal. He nodded to her, and she summoned every
ounce of strength she had inside, glaring with hatred at the Borg vessel on the
viewer. "Fire!"
It only took a matter of seconds for
Janeway's life to change forever. They
saw the Borg cube begin to implode, the flames shooting out of the collapsing
conduit. Nothing followed them from
the Delta Quadrant, save a few pieces of Borg debris that escaped before the
yawning maw slammed shut.
"The Borg vessel has been destroyed,
Captain." stated Tuvok.
They had been successful. But Kathryn wasn't ready to celebrate just
yet. She tapped her combadge, trying
desperately to remain calm as her mind raced.
"Janeway to Chakotay."
Nothing.
"Commander Chakotay, please respond."
She felt the tears begin to form in her eyes
as the silence stretched on. Then the
stillness ended as she received the call she most feared.
"Sickbay to Janeway."
She took a deep breath and tried to keep her
voice steady. "Go ahead."
"Please report to sickbay
immediately, Captain. Commander
Chakotay is seriously injured."
Janeway rose shakily to her feet, ignoring
the pain in her shoulder and the pounding in her head. She tried to walk calmly to the turbolift,
but as she approached the stair to the upper deck, her world began to spin
around her. She clutched the chrome
railing to steady herself and closed her eyes as a wave of nausea threatened to
over come her.
Tuvok watched her from his station. He wanted to take hold of her, offer his
strength where hers had been depleted.
But his place was on the bridge with both the captain and the commander
away. "Mr. Paris, please accompany the
captain to sickbay."
Tom jumped to his feet. "Aye, sir."
He gently took Janeway by the arm and guided her to the turbolift.
Despite Janeway's sense of foreboding, she
found she was entirely unprepared for the sight that greeted her in
sickbay. Chakotay lay on the surgical
bed, his uniform – or what was left of it – was charred and smoldering. The Doctor hovered over him, lifting his
eyes as the captain entered. His face,
holographic though it was, conveyed the severity of the situation.
He moved to intercept Janeway before she made
it to Chakotay's side. He put a gentle
hand on her arm, the wrinkles around his eyes suddenly seeming deeper and more
pronounced than before as if he'd aged several years in the last few
seconds.
"What is the commander's condition, Doctor?"
she asked mechanically.
The Doctor glanced at Paris, and then back to
Janeway. "I'm afraid he sustained
massive injuries, Captain. His trachea
and lungs sustained severe burns. His
right arm is broken as well as his femur and several ribs. He has extensive internal injuries, and he's
developed DIC from the trauma."
Her brow furrowed in askance. "DIC?"
"Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation. It happens sometimes when the body sustains
massive hemorrhagic injuries. In
attempts to prevent further bleeding, the body releases large amounts of
clotting factors, exhausting the supply and causing the blood to clot while
still inside the vessels. The vascular
system begins to degrade, and the bleeding increases rather than decreases."
"What's his prognosis?"
A sadness the likes of which no simple
hologram could ever possess washed across the Doctor's face. "I've done everything I can, Captain. His injuries are simply too extensive and
the bleeding too severe."
"You mean he's bleeding to death?" she asked.
"Essentially, yes."
"Can't you give him a transfusion? Blood products?" She knew she was grasping at straws. The Doctor would do anything in his power to save a member of
their crew. If those actions would've
worked, he'd have done it already. But
she had to say something. Doing nothing
made her feel as though they were giving up.
He shook his head. "No, Captain. His
vascular system has already begun to degrade.
There are some things I just can't fix.
All we can do for him at this point is make him comfortable and let
nature take its course. I doubt he'll
survive the next 30 minutes." His eyes
probed deeply into hers, wanting to take the pain for her. "I'm sorry, Captain."
Janeway felt Tom's hand on the small of her
back, offering strength and support as her world crashed in around her. She moved with insentience toward the bed,
her eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. She failed to suppress a horrified gasp as she took in the sight
of her beloved first officer.
The tall man, once so strong and kind, was
barely recognizable. His flesh was
charred beyond repair, leaving behind seared tissue and black flesh where his
tattoo used to be. His large hands, the
ones that had always touched her with such reverence and tenderness, were burnt
to the bone in places and curled in agony.
His breathing was labored and wheezy as he forced air through a swollen
throat and singed airways.
Janeway heard Toms' sharp intake of air from
behind her as he too took in the horrifying sight. She didn't even realize she was sobbing until she heard him say,
"I'm so sorry, Captain."
The Doctor watched as the captain laid a
gentle hand on Chakotay's chest, her eyes expressing a pain and longing that
made his holographic heart ache. "I've
given him a strong analgesic to relieve most of the pain. He shouldn't be suffering. I can wake him if you wish, if there's
anything you'd like to say to him."
She looked from the Doctor to Paris, and then
back to Chakotay. She nodded
slowly. "Yes … yes, please wake him,
Doctor. There is something I need to
say to him." The tears rolled down her
ashen cheeks. "Something I should've
told him years ago."
Almost immediately after the hiss of the
hypospray, Chakotay's dark eyes fluttered open. He winced at the brightness in the room, and then looked slowly
at his surroundings. His eyes fell
immediately on Janeway's pretty face.
"Kathryn…" he rasped.
"Shhh…" she soothed, her hand stroking what
was left of his hair. "Don't try to
talk. You've sustained burns to your
throat."
He tried to move his legs, tried to sit up,
but he couldn't. He could feel the life
force draining from his body. His large
eyes locked with hers, understanding and peaceful acceptance shining
through. "I'm … I'm dying, aren't I?"
She glanced briefly at the Doctor, who nodded
in the affirmative. Should she lie to
him, offer false comfort? Or look him
in the eyes and let him greet his passing honestly. She knew he deserved the truth.
"Yes, Chakotay." She said, her voice crackling with emotion. "You are dying."
"And the Borg?"
"You did it.
You destroyed them and saved us all.
We've reached the Alpha Quadrant safely."
His charred lips turned upward in a soft
smile. "Home."
"Chakotay," she began. "There's something I wanted to say to you,
something I wish I would've said long ago."
She leaned down and brought her face closer to his, her tears dripping
onto his burnt flesh. "I love you,
Chakotay. I've loved you for a very
long time." The sobs coursed through
her, the pain in her shoulder forgotten.
"I've been so stubborn, so foolish.
If I hadn't been so afraid, if I'd told you before … we could've had all
those years together. I wasted our
time, Chakotay, for protocols and regulations that didn't really exist anywhere
but inside my head. I'm so sorry. My God, please forgive me."
Chakotay summoned every last ounce of
strength he had to raise his burnt arm and wrap it around Kathryn's sobbing
shoulders. "Don't cry, Kathryn. Please don't cry. You gave me seven years of peace. Just being near you made me whole. I love you." He wheezed.
"I'll always love you."
His eyes began to roll into the back of his
head as he struggled to stay conscious.
"Say it again." He whispered. "I
want to hear you say it one more time."
Kathryn brought her lips to his, hovering
just centimeters above his mouth. "I
love you, Chakotay." She whispered.
Then she kissed him with all the tenderness she had inside her. His lips moved with hers briefly, and then
went soft as his last breath rattled in his throat.
The universe seemed to stop. There was no movement, no sound, except the
gentle whisperings of the Sky Spirits weeping, and the aching resonance of
Janeway's soul shattering into a million pieces.
Chakotay was gone.
"No!" Janeway cried. She rested her head on his chest and
clutched at his uniform. "You can't
leave me, Chakotay."
The sight caused the tears that had been
welling up in Tom's eyes to spill silently down his cheeks. He'd never seen his captain, his friend,
weep openly in such obvious pain. He
moved to her side and circled his hands around her waist, pulling her gently
into an embrace. She resisted only
briefly, and then fell into his arms and sobbed for all they had lost. For all she had lost.
~*~*~*~
As the crew of the USS Voyager disembarked,
their feet falling soundly on Earth's soil, there was a general feeling of
bittersweet ambivalence in the air.
They were home, but the cost had been monumentally high. So for Janeway, the cheering crowds seemed
to scream inside her head. And the
flashing of hundreds of holoimagers stung her aching heart. The words of praise
and respect being tossed in their direction by the mass of onlookers sounded
hollow and meaningless to her ears.
She was about to step into the small
transport bound for Starfleet Headquarters and take her seat next to Tuvok,
when a woman in the crowd caught her eye.
She had long, raven black hair and hauntingly familiar chocolate colored
eyes. Her gaze was fixed intently on
Janeway, a silent request being issued.
Please come talk to me.
Kathryn excused herself from the transport,
promising to follow on the next one, and rushed away before Tuvok could
object. She made her way to the woman,
feeling drawn toward her by some unseen force, and half wondering if she'd
finally gone insane.
"Are you Kathryn Janeway?" the woman asked.
"Yes." Janeway said softly. "Do I know you?"
"My name is Atraya. Chakotay was my brother."
Janeway felt her heart rate quicken and her
throat seemed to constrict. Was
her brother? "Then you already know
what happened to him?"
"Yes.
Starfleet informed me." She dug
into her backpack, searching for something.
She finally produced a small PADD.
"I … I came here to give you this.
It's a letter my brother sent me about two weeks ago. I think he would've wanted you to have it."
Janeway reached out with a trembling hand and
took the PADD. "I don't know what to
say, Atraya. But thank you."
Atraya's dark eyes studied Janeway carefully,
as if trying to commit her image to memory.
"Play it, Captain. Please."
Kathryn gazed at the beautiful woman,
definitely a feminine version of Chakotay, and then, shaking noticeably,
pressed the button to begin the recording.
A small sob escaped her throat as an image of a very alive Chakotay
stared back at her from the PADD. She
lost herself in the masculine voice that she'd grown to love so much.
Hello Atraya.
I hope this letter finds you
well. I know we haven't been the
closest of friends in the past. But I
would like to change that. So now that
we have a way of communicating with Earth, I'll be keeping in touch on a regular
basis. I hope you'll respond.
I'm not sure what I wanted
to say to you, except that I felt it important to tell you that I am finally
happy with my life. For some reason, I
think you need to know that now.
I'm First Officer aboard
this ship, and I wear this uniform with pride.
Ironic isn't it? Me, in a
Starfleet uniform again and happy about it.
But it's not really because of Starfleet that I'm proud of it. It's my captain. She's the most incredible woman I've ever known. She's strong, brilliant, and incredibly
beautiful. And she has me wrapped
around her little finger.
I've finally found the one
thing that has always eluded me in my life.
Peace. Every morning I wake up
knowing that I have a purpose, and that I'll be serving next to her. Seeing her
radiant blue eyes and crooked smile each day - I can't think of anything I want
more in the entire universe. Just being
near her fills my heart with great joy.
I had no idea when I first stepped on this ship that I would find solace
here. Or that I would fall in love with
her. But I have … deeply.
Hopefully we'll reach Earth
soon, and then you can meet her. I know
you'll love her almost as much as I do.
Our father would've adored her.
Kathryn … even her name is
beautiful.
Janeway to Chakotay. I need you on the bridge, Commander.
Ah, and there she is
now. I've got to go, Atraya. Kathryn needs me. I hope to hear from you soon.
I love you.
Kathryn stared at the frozen image of
Chakotay's handsome face on the PADD, the tears once again streaming down her
face. "Thank you, Atraya. This means the world to me."
"He must've loved you very much, Captain."
she said, placing a slender hand on Janeway's arm. "I have never seen my contrary brother so at peace, so
complete. It is a comfort to me to know
that the last years of his life were happy ones, and that he died while
protecting his new family and the woman he loved. His death had purpose, Captain, and he would've liked that."
"I can't believe he's gone." She whispered.
Atraya looked at her with eyes that seemed to
hold the wisdom of a hundred life times, the same look Chakotay had. "He's not gone. He is the wind, and the trees.
Even your beloved stars. He's
all around us. He's at rest, and when
your pain begins to recede, you'll feel him.
He's with the Sky Spirits now, Captain.
And he'll watch over you until you join him."
Janeway wanted nothing more than to get to
know this woman, to hear her speak of a version of Chakotay that she never
knew. "I have to wrap some things up at
headquarters, but it shouldn't take long.
Would you care to join me? We
can have a meal together and you can meet Chakotay's friends. I know they would love to meet you."
Atraya flashed Janeway a dimpled smile. "I'd love to, Captain."
"Call me Kathryn." Janeway said, taking
Atraya by the arm and leading her toward the transport.
"All right." She nodded, brushing her dark
hair off her forehead. "Can I ask one
favor, Kathryn?"
"Of course."
The tears welled up in Atraya's dark
eyes. "Tell me about my big
brother. I want to know everything."
Janeway took a deep breath, knowing instantly
that this was the beginning of a friendship she would cherish for the rest of
her life. "Well, actually … when I
first met Chakotay, he was a criminal and I was on a mission to capture
him. I had no idea how much he would
come to mean to me, to all of us. Or
that he would change my life forever.
It all started in the Badlands where we met up with an entity called the
Caretaker…"