Well, it has been a while, and I've been nagging myself to write the next chapter, I'm just soooooooo tiered lately...........anyway I hope this one is sorta okay...........Thank you all my beautiful reviewers........

Birds That Can't Fly

Chapter 11: A Cross to Bear.

When she awoke there was a ringing in her ears, accompanied by the dull ache of her head. Charlotte could hardly stand to open her eyes due to the bright sunlight streaming into the infirmary, but when she did Charlotte found the brilliant rays soothing. It took a moment fro her eyes to adjust, but when they did the smiling face of Fred Weasley greeted her. He held her right hand gently, she liked the feeling of his grip. But even as she began to smile her heart sank. It was all very clear to her now, she knew what she must do.

"Morning sunshine." Fred chuckled.

"What time is it?"

"Mid-afternoon. Are you hungry at all, anything I can get you?" Deep concern spread over his face.

Charlotte sat down and gently pulled her hand away from his. She drew her knees up and rested her chin sullenly on them. "Nope, I'm alright." She didn't dare ask what happened. It was evident from the bandages on her left wrist what she had done. Or tried to do anyway.

With an inward grimace she saw herself in the bathroom with her razor blade. Charlotte saw her self sobbing as she searched for the courage to press just a little harder. She smelled the sickly aroma of her own blood and saw it fall to the floor like a red tidal wave. She had vomited, that much she knew, and the images had come and flashed through her mind. Charlotte didn't know, however, when she had begun screaming. She didn't remember Hermione rushing into the bathroom. She didn't remember being brought to the infirmary. Only minor details, Charlotte thought callously.

Fred wanted to ask what had happened, but there didn't seem to be any good way to phrase the question...... "So you tried to kill yourself eh?" He had thought long and hard about what he was going to say, and now all the word slipped from his mind.

"Charlotte...."He began tentatively "........are you in some kind of trouble.............I mean.......well...."

"I tried to kill myself?" he was surprised to find a crass smile teasing the corners of her mouth.

"Well yeah,....." He looked directly into her eyes " I worry about you Charlotte."

The smile left her face. " Don't Fred, I don't deserve it." she sounded on the verge of tears " I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself........."

"Yeah I see how well you take care of yourself." Fred didn't know why but he was angry, it didn't seem right that he should care about her more that she did about herself. " Talk to me Charlotte. Please just ell me what's going on. I want to help you......please Charlotte let me help you...."

She looked away sadly, "Fred if you only knew............I'm so far beyond help............I was born beyond all hope..............." A tear slipped down her cheek.

Without thinking Fred rushed forward and gently kissed the tear away. He sat on the edge of her bed, she was very aware of his hand on her shoulders.

"Tell me." he half pleaded "If this has something to do with the old one...I can help you...we can work it out together."

Charlotte sighed heavily "If only it had to do with Asha, if only everything were that simple."

"Charlotte"

"Please Fred"

"Tell me."

"............I can't."

"Please."

"Why?"

"So I can help you."

"Why would you do that?"

Fred went a little pink but kept his eyes locked on hers "I think...............No........I am in love with you"

Charlotte jaw dropped , just a little, but she recovered. She knew what must be done and with a sinking heart she removed his hands from her shoulders. She held them for a moment, staring at them, trying to memorize them, because she did not know when she might see them again. Then Charlotte stared back into his eyes, examined his face so that she might keep it in her memory.

"I wish you wouldn't" it came out so softly barely a whisper. but the force of these words struck Fred like a punch in the stomach.

"What-?"

"I think it would be best for all parties involved if you ......If you didn't love me....."

Fred was slightly angered " Best for all parties involved if I what? Charlotte this isn't like some petty legal matter, or buying a car. This is love! It's real!"

She turned her face towards the sun " .....What about Angelina?"

Fred leapt to his feet " Angelina? I'm here bearing my soul to you and all you can say is what about Angelina? Are you mad? I love you! Just you! Angelina be dammed!"

"Please Fred, try and understand-"

"Understand? I thought I did. I thought you and I were......" his anger had ceased, only to be replaced with a growing feeling of sorrow. " I don't know..........I guess somewhere along the line I thought that maybe you felt the same way."

There was no disguising the tears now, they poured from her eyes in droves as she felt her heart break. "Please go......"

"Not until you tell me. Do you love me?"

"Fred-"

"Yes or no Charlotte, tell me now, that you don't care for me at all and I'll leave you alone."

"Please don't make me." she whispered through her tears.

"Do you love me?"

Charlotte gazed up at him towering above her, questioning. "I...........I don't know how......"

Fred was taken back. He stood for a moment not wanting to believe it. Then when her words had finally sunk in, and he turned to go. It took all his strength not to turn around and go to her when he heard he quiet sobs behind him. What is done is done. Fred Weasley walked away.

***AAAAAAAAAWWWWWW poor Fred, it's tragic isn't it? I'll add more soon, I swear it gets better, but I've been promising that for like 12 chapter now, so I dunno, if you don't want to believe me humour me anyways and read the rest of this.......I love you all!!!!!!!"