Chapter 13, oh well, what can you do, are people still reading this? I dunno....... What cha gonna do? Nothing that's what, and now I'm talking to myself. Life just gets better and better...

Birds That Cant Fly

Chapter13: Only You

Suppress suppress suppress. Charlotte seemed to be thinking that a lot these days. It made her head ache. Suppress, there are things to be done. Just suck it up and get on with life. Silently she wondered for the millionth time in the past two weeks whether or not she should use that last little vial of Riencour that lay neglected in her trunk. Charlotte pushed the thought away from her in disgust. As much as it hurt her to feel this, it would be worse still to feel nothing at all.

A tiny explosion sounded from Neville Longbottom's corner of the room. Charlottes head snapped up in that direction, Hermione Granger was already sighing and rushing to help him. Two weeks and still no word from Snape, not even a clue as to whether or not he was alive. Charlotte worried about him constantly. And she could not shake the feeling of guilt, as though it were somehow her fault.

Lord, Ron reminds me of Fred. Shut up. You don't need that right now. Suppress suppress suppress. Two weeks and still she couldn't bring herself to speak to Fred. Although he didn't seem to mind.

It took every last fibre of her being to keep Charlotte from weeping every time she saw Fred and Angelina in the hallways, hand in hand. It gave her a nauseated feeling in her stomach when she would walk into the common room and find Freds arms wrapped around Angelina. And no matter how much Charlotte wanted to throw herself at his feet and beg his forgiveness, how much her spirit moved her to confess the truth to him, to tell him everything, she wouldn't she couldn't. But still she felt betrayed.

You brought this on yourself. There is no one to blame for this but yourself. If you had told him the truth.......He would have walked away from me, hell he would have run away from me. No, it's better this way, It's better........The debate raged constantly in her head. With slightly shaking hands she began to chop moon sliver roots into tiny pieces. She instructed the class to do the same. Suppress.

But no matter how she tried, Charlotte couldn't disguise the dark bags underneath her eyes or the slightly pained look that never left her face. It was plain to see the young girl was exhausted. She hadn't slept properly for weeks now. That dream was the last thing Charlotte needed now. Mostly she stayed awake and read, or graded potions papers. Her sudden aquisition of the role as temporary potions master at Hogwarts had helped to speed along endless nights.

The class had ended by the time Charlotte looked up again. There were only a few dwindling students left in the dungeon. One was Hermione Granger. The fifth year approached Charlotte cautiously. Quickly Charlotte reached out in her mind, trying to see what she was thinking, but she met a wall, weak, but Charlotte respected Hermiones wishes to have her thoughts left to herself.

"You have begun to build yourself a wall Hermione. " Charlotte said. She knew Hermione knew. Truly she didn't care " It will require more focus to make it impenetrable, might I suggest you read "The Art of Ancient Magic" it's quite good, lot's of tips."

Hermione nodded slowly. " You......"

"Yes?"

Hermione hesitated for a moment then shook her head. "Thanks for the recommendation." Then turned on her heels and left the dungeon.

Charlotte sighed and threw her ingredients away. She locked the door to the dungeon, she just needed to get away for a while. A walk around the castle..........anything.

There she is. Fred noticed her right away when Charlotte entered into the crowded common room that evening. He watched her intently as she moved gracefully to take a seat near the fire. Fleur sat next to her chatting amiably. Charlotte smiled slightly and responded cheerfully to her friends questions.

She looks old. thought Fred as he watched the fire light dance across her face. Little lines seemed to crease her face, at the corners of her eyes and sides of her mouth. It was though she had aged in the past weeks, turned into someone different.

Fred remembered when he had been in Egypt, in the old temples, where he had seen paintings upon paintings and countless little figurines and thousands of idols in the image of the old one. That's who she looks like. The Old one. Asha. The thought chilled him a bit, a shiver ran up his sine.

Angelina who lay with her head resting on his chest, turned her head to face him. She smiled coquettishly, Fred kissed her lightly on the lips. It felt wrong. There was nothing in that kiss. There was nothing in Angelina for him. But Charlotte had made her choice.

It doesn't change anything, and you know it. You love her. There is no sense in pretending you don't. Oh so I should just go beg her to reconsider, insist that she could learn to love me? Don't be dim. I don't want to beg for her love. Angelina already cares for me, she's a nice girl.............Do you love her? Fred wished he could stop thinking. I love.........Charlotte.

She tried to pretend he wasn't there. But she couldn't block him from her mind. Charlotte snuck a quick glance at him. Angelina all over him, as usual. Rage boiled inside her for a moment. But she quickly took control of herself. Focus! she commanded herself.

Fleur was deep into a story about Harris Blake, and as much as Charlotte tried to pay attention, her thoughts just kept slipping elsewhere. I love him. It was a small relief to finally admit it to herself. I don't know how. I just do. Very good Charlotte, now if only you hadn't been so stupid and would have told him that. Wait I didn't even know that until this very moment. Who are you trying to kid? You've known he was the one the moment you two bumped into each other on the train.

She is it.

He is it.

She is the one, the only one for you.

He is the one, the only one for you.

And you've lost her.

And you've lost him.

Charlotte met Freds eyes in that instant. They locked in the blaze of the fire light. And something silent passed between them. Charlotte turned away first. Not wishing for him to see the truth. Fred gazed at her for a moment longer, then turned back to Angelina, who was sleeping soundly.

All around him people were slowly drifting off towards the dorms. Yawning and speaking quietly. Gently he nudged Angelina. Who stretched and yawned sleepily.

" Time for bed dear, you've been asleep for a while."

She sat up and smiled at him. "Good night love. See you in the morning." She kissed him for a moment. Just long enough for him to find her slightly contemptible.

"Good night Angelina."

She stood up and entered the dormitory doors, blowing a kiss at Fred before she closed them.

Now they were alone. Only Fred and Charlotte in the empty common room. They sat in awkward silence for a while neither really sure what to do. It was Fred that broke the silence.

"Nice weather we're having hey?" smooth, real smooth

"Yeah." Weather? We haven't spoken in weeks and all he has to say is "Nice weather?"

The silence settled in again. On impulse Fred moved and took a seat next to Charlotte. " My leg fell asleep." He mumbled in response to her questioning look. She nodded.

"Fred."

"Charlotte." They both spoke at the same time.

"You first." she said.

Fred grimaced "I'm tiered of going first Charlotte......."

She blushed slightly. "I'm sorry." He just stared. " That is I'm sorry things went so wrong between us...........I never meant to hurt you......It's just......."

"Let me guess, I wouldn't understand." Charlotte shrugged. " For the love of all things holy Charlotte!" He said a little louder than he'd intended. " How are you ever going to get through life if you don't trust anyone? You think I wouldn't understand, try me!"

She looked away from him, into the fire. " It isn't that I don't trust you Fred......."

"Then what is it Charlotte." He took her hand. "Look, I meant what I said that day, you can't loose me. And I know I haven't been acting like it, but I do love you. And I know you love me. I know you do. Stop shutting me out! Don't turn your back on me."

Charlotte could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she stood, eyes glistening with tears. "Remember Fred, I'm not the one who walked away."

She left him then, sitting alone, with no one to comfort him but the shadows.