~3~
What an odd day, Angel found
himself thinking as evening came on. Xander had been called in on a job, and
the way he and Buffy kissed goodbye before he left the house, the vampire half
expected the smoke alarms to go off. The young man had given him another of
those superior grins when he came up for air. Giles had stayed around for a good
portion of the morning, drinking tea and berating Wesley for no apparent
reason. Willow was off at school, and Buffy and Cordelia laid out by the pool,
although Cordy told him later, she felt like she was alone. The Slayer kept her
head buried in a magazine, answering any attempts at conversation with
monosyllabic grunts. She only came alive when she came inside and saw Angel,
and even then, more so when Cordy was within sight.
If he didn't know better,
and maybe he didn't, Angel would have sworn Buffy was trying to make Cordy
jealous. Not only had she pawed and fawned over Xander until he left, but then
she'd done an only slightly toned down version of the same thing with him every
time the other woman was around. The few times it was just she and Angel, she
simply acted polite and friendly, and he got the impression she really was
pretty much over him. Last night, there'd been a few "might-have-been" kinds of
looks, but this morning seemed to be purely about manipulation. She made nasty
comments about Cordelia sucking down the bottled water, since she was drinking
the tap version herself, but Queen C was the master of the equally nasty
comeback, and Buffy soon abandoned that tack.
By dinnertime, the whole
house resembled an armed camp under a barely maintained treaty. Even Wesley was
harsh and snappish, and it seemed to Angel that only he and Cordelia were
behaving in a civilized manner. Wes and Giles were exchanging brutally formal
barbs over tea, with Willow getting her digs in in support of her love. Wes had
even busted Cordy's chops a time or two, which the girl appeared to brush off,
but was obviously pretty hurt by. Xander seemed to be playing the same game as
Buffy, but in the other direction – he was overtly attentive to Cordelia, while
at the same time making sure the souled vampire knew exactly who had Buffy's
heart.
It was odd, really – the two
lovers seemed to be using their mental connection to time their attacks on the
pair from LA. Neither appeared to be the least bit jealous of the other's
wandering attentions. In fact, they seemed to be egging each other on. The more
miserable their guests looked, the happier it seemed to make them.
They had just finished
dinner when the doorbell rang, and Willow went to the intercom. "Oh, hi,
Andrea," she said when the visitor identified herself. "I'll be right there."
"Hey, guys," Willow
announced to the tense group when she returned with the visitor. "Angel, Wes,
Cordelia – this is Andrea Fairhope. She's the doctor who helped try to kill
me." Cordy clearly saw the pained expression on the doctor's face, and stared
at the redheaded witch. It wasn't like Willow to be so deliberately tactless,
with what was clearly a sore subject.
"Hi," Cordy offered with a
bright, although forced, smile, "I'm Cordelia. Went to high school with this
bunch."
She winced slightly when
Xander threw an arm familiarly around her. "The best part of my educational
process. We were pretty active together – extra-cirricularly, if you get my
drift." She noticed him watching Angel for reaction, and elbowed her
ex-boyfriend sharply. Ignoring Xander beyond that, she slipped out from under
his arm, and went over to her co-workers. "This is Angel, and this is Wesley
Wyndham-Price. We work together in LA."
"Yes," Wes announced, "I'm
in charge."
"Whoa," Willow chirped. "So
the mighty Angel no longer heads up Angel Investigations?"
"Yes," Wesley confirmed. "He
became obsessed over a certain girl, and lost his focus and direction."
Xander snorted. "Geez, make
the same mistake twice, why don't ya?" Several of the others giggled, Wesley
included. Angel remained stone-faced.
"Excuse me," Andrea gulped,
"I know my way around, and I think I'll go get a glass of water." Subtly she
motioned to Cordy, who followed her to the kitchen.
Once inside, she turned to
the other woman. "I know we've barely met, but are they always this mean when
you people are around? Because there seems to be a certain level of venom in
this conversation tonight that I've rarely witnessed anywhere before, and never
from those four."
"Well, Xander's never cared
much for Angel, but he seems to be baiting him more than usual. And Willow is
usually pretty sweet, actually. Even Wes seems mean, and he's not very good at
that, as a rule."
"Have you, Rupert and Angel
felt any unusual anger today?"
"I was a little bitchy
around mid-morning, but Buffy was riding my tail, so that might be the only
reason. Giles has been ripping holes in Wes all night, himself."
"Your friend Angel has been
extremely quiet – might he be harboring hidden feelings?"
Cordelia smiled. "When
Angel's angry, people notice. He broods quietly when he's upset, but vents when
he's angry."
"Yes, I guess it would be
pretty apparent were he disturbed. He is a vampire, right?" At the younger
woman's stunned expression, Andrea couldn't help but smile. "Willow's
introduction, besides being hurtful, left out the fact that I'm a retired
Watcher. In fact, I believe I recognize your Mr. Wyndham-Price's name as well."
"Yeah, well, he got fired,
though." Cordy's eyes widened in concern. "Was that mean?"
The doctor couldn't help but
like this girl. "No, just honest." She set her face. "I need you to try and
figure out what they've all had in common that you and Angel have avoided
today. I smell something rotten here, and I'd love to head it off before it
really stinks. I'll get back to you a little later." Leaving Cordy in the
kitchen, Andrea marched back to the group in the dining room. "Gotta run – my
pager just went off. I'll let myself out," Cordelia heard her tell the others.
Bracing herself for further verbal bloodletting, Queen C threw back her
shoulders and went to face the lions that used to be her friends.
~**~
They'd finally escaped
upstairs. Wes and Giles had traded parting snipes, and the younger ex-Watcher
had vanished almost instantly into his room without as much as a word to his
co-workers. Cordelia slipped into Angel's room as she had the night before.
"Gee, that was a real blast.
Remind me to schedule another trip here before my next root-canal – should make
dental work pretty refreshing in comparison."
"There's something not right
here, Cor."
"Ya think? What tipped you
off? Buffy's claw marks on my back, or Xander's drool stains on my shoulder?"
"It might have been the Wes
and Rupert English Insult-A-Rama that finally got the message across. What the
hell is their problem?" Angel began to pace the floor, running his fingers
through his hair.
"Whatever it is, it's
affecting everyone but you and me. Andrea wanted me to try and figure out what
they had in common that we didn't share with them."
"Smart lady, if she figured
out there was a problem in as short a time as she was here."
"I used to be a Watcher, and
we're trained to observe," Andrea's softly accented voice announced as she
shimmered into sight.
"Huh? How? Wha…?" Angel
struggled to complete so much as a thought, but was too surprised.
The older woman materialized
completely. "Magic – it's my specialty. I've been here, but invisible, since I
'left' earlier. Willow gave me the keys to all her magical bans when they first
moved in, in case of emergency. I'd say this probably qualifies." She plopped
down on the bed by the May Queen. "Ideas?"
"Well, I'd say it was
something to do with this place, if Wes weren't affected," Angel postulated.
"That also eliminates the
'Parts of Unity' option," Andrea mused.
"The old Sunnydale High
School would be a link, but I'm the exception there," Cordelia tried.
"Everyone affected is human,
Cor. Is there something you're not telling us?" She poked the grinning Angel in
the ribs.
Smiling as well, Andrea
offered, "And I'd say couple-dom was a common denominator, but you two aren't
affected." The completely stunned looks on Angel and Cordy's faces when she'd
looked up expecting smiles threw the ex-Watcher off. "What?"
"We're…" Cordelia drifted
off, still a bit stunned.
"Not a couple – SO not
couple-y. Two singles. Totally." Angel was filling uncomfortable silence as
fast as his tongue would carry him. "Friends," he went on. "Just…"
Andrea held up her hand. "I
get it. Sorry."
"Besides," Cordelia pitched
in weakly, "Wes."
"Oh, yeah."
They fell into awkward
silence again, the previous mild good humor completely dissipated. Finally,
Cordelia stood up. "I can't think of anything right now," she said. "I'm going
to bed." Eyeing Andrea carefully, she continued, "Alone. In my own room –
across the hall. Goodnight, Angel, Dr. Fairhope." She waved stiffly. "See you
in the morning. Tomorrow. Downstairs." She pulled the door closed and they
could hear her heels clicking rapidly as she crossed the hall.
"Well, now, that wasn't very
awkward, now, was it? I'm terribly sorry. I just assumed…" She sighed. "It is
true what they say about assume making an ass out of 'u' and 'me,' isn't it?"
The vampire took pity on
her. "It's not your fault. Cordy and I are really close friends, and we
sometimes act like an old married couple. Add that to the fact she came right
to my room after we came upstairs, I can see how you saw what you thought you
did." He ran his hand through his hair again. "I don't do well with
relationships, and have found it safest to avoid the whole 'couple' scene."
"So why does Buffy seem to
treat you like her personal possession?"
"One of the prime examples
of a relationship I didn't do well with. We have a history."
"As do Xander and Cordelia,
I'd venture?" When Angel nodded, she went on. "Then they obviously see you two
as a couple as well, or they wouldn't be trying so hard to break you up."
The souled vampire dropped
heavily into the bedside chair. "Is there a stronger word for 'sucks'? Because
this whole thing is going there, fast."
"So I guess I can count on
your help solving this problem, right?"
"Ab-so-damn-lutely."
~**~
"If that were any more fun,
it'd be illegal." Buffy collapsed against the inside of the bedroom door after
they'd sent their guests upstairs nearly whimpering.
"In some states, it may be."
Xander pressed her back against the door, kissing her hungrily. Finally coming
up for air, he gasped, "Do you really think we can break them up? Angel seems
pretty stoic about it all."
Buffy began nipping at his
neck, making him writhe, and in one instance, bleed slightly. "He'll be stoic
until we find just the right button, and then you watch. Old Faithful will
erupt like clockwork." She giggled evilly. "Either that, or they'll fall into
each other's arms to comfort one another, and we'll have Angelus to play with.
He can take care of Wimpy Wesley and Miss Bitch for us."
Xander swept his life-mate
into his arms and threw her on the bed, landing atop her solidly enough to
elicit a grunt from the Slayer. "Only if he lets us watch," he growled into her
shirt, before ripping the front of it open with his teeth.
"Ohh, I like this. Why
didn't we ever play rough before?"
"We thought we did."
"This is more fun. Do you
think they're really even dating?" Buffy managed to choke out between gasps.
"Well, we both know that
Cordy can act quite the slut, but keeps those old knees pressed pretty tightly
together. Maybe Angel just thinks he can break through that wall."
"You should know – she was
your slut in high school."
"Yup, and I never got any. I
like it better, with you being my slut now." The conversation degenerated into
grunts and moans, with the occasional pained squeal, for quite some time after.
~**~
"It's a pleasure to meet
you, Miss…"
"Morgan, sir, Lilah Morgan.
And the pleasure is all mine. You have certainly earned the respect of our
uppermost management, Mr. Heinrich. With the delivery of the Dark Unity, we
will be able to accomplish things we've only dreamed of in the past." Her
confident expression faltered only slightly when the unconscious body of
Quentin Travers was rolled down the ramp in a wheelchair.
Noticing her brief flinch,
Ernst waved his hand. "This is my associate. He's never traveled well, and with
his recent illness, we thought it better to bring him across the ocean in this
manner. Don't let it worry you. Miss Roberts has him well in hand, don't you,
dear?" The nurse nodded, waiting for further direction. "I assume you've made
the arrangements I'd asked for?" They began to walk, the nurse with her
motionless patient following obediently behind.
"Yes, sir. The three-bedroom
suite you asked for is quite nice, and tomorrow we'll have you driven to the
home in Sunnydale. We believe you'll find it well suited for you to keep
surveillance on the Unity's residence." She hesitated slightly. "There may be a
slight problem, however." Ernst's face darkened, and he stopped moving. "Uhm,
it seems the constant thorn in our side has managed to step into this neat
little arrangement as well. Angel, a regular nemesis of ours, has traveled to
Sunnydale with two of his associates, and if reports are correct, is staying
with the Unity group."
Heinrich resumed his stride,
apparently deep in thought. "Can he be killed?"
"Yes, we're pretty sure he
can. We…uhm, we just haven't managed to do it, yet." Lilah was studying the
toes of her three hundred dollar pumps.
"No problem. I'm sure Unity
will take care of it." The Watcher never looked at her, but his tone was
confident.
"I hope to God you're
right," the lawyer mumbled under her breath.
~**~
