Hey, Aika here!! This is my first deathfic. I wrote
it on one of those days when I was really depressed
and sort of suicidal. Oh well, the usual disclamer:
Sailormoon does not belong to meand neither does
any other copyrighted material. Really, if I did
own this stuff, would I be wasting my time writing
this??
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Broken Angel
Sunday
Today I heard Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa
talking. Setsuna looked like she was holding back
a thousand tears and Haruka looked as if a new
enemy was attacking. The lines of worry etched
across her face made me pause and listen. For
them to look as if the world is ending must mean
something truly terrible is happening.
"Are you sure?" questioned Haruka, her
emotional state shown by the husky tone of
her voice.
"Yes," sighed Setsuna, wearily sinking
into an armchair. "Taru-chan will indeed
be the unmaker of our world. If she stays
here, our dimention will cease to
exist..."
"And all we have worked for will amount to
naught??"
"Yes."
I couldn't listen anymore. My heart had shattered
like Setsuna-mama's fine china tea cups:
exploding in every direction, razor sharp and
cutting into my soul. I must do something.
Monday
My fate has caused me
to find a new direction
I am a mistake
Thursday
I am not human. I killed a girl today. She was
beating some poor child. I willed her to die.
Didn't touch her, didn't threaten her. Just willed
her to die. And she did, fell to the ground like a
marionette cut from its strings. No scream, just a
thump as she collapsed, a mask of rage still on
her face. I felt neither remorse nor glee. I felt
nothing.
Monday
I don't dream anymore and I don't smile either.
I feel empty. Chibi-Usa says I'll feel better
after we go to the amusement park this weekend.
I don't want to go. I have a feeling it will
all end in tragedy.
Tuesday
Michiru-mama left her e-mail open, so out of
curiosity I read it.
Michiru-
I feel it. The silence is unraveling the
bonds that pulled us together and death
has singled us out one by one. Rei says
that the sacred fire is dying and showing
her a future of barren earth. Ami says that
the earth itself is absorbing negative
energy and slowly destroying itself. The
Ginzuishou is losing its power. We must
deal with her as soon as possible.
-Setsuna
I realized they were talking about me. I knew I
didn't belong here, on this beautiful planet with a
future. I knew I was 'wrong'. But I can't change
what I am. Maybe I should leave...
Wednesday - Midnight
I had a dream for the first time in a week. In it I
was talking to a braided boy.
"We do not belong on this earth," he said.
"Why not???" I asked.
"Because we're the children of Shinigami."
"NANI?!?"
"Like I said, we're the children of
Shinigami. I'm death, you're destruction.
We can't stay in this world. We hurt so
many; especially the one's we love..."
He began to fade into the mists.
I heard his voice carried on a non-existent wind.
"T a k e c a r e ....."
"Wait!!!" I cried, but he was already
gone.
I woke up in a cold sweat, disoriented, unsure of
what to do. I'm afraid.
Thursday - Morning
I told Setsuna I didn't want to go with Chibi Usa.
She would hear nothing of the sort. "You'll
have a good time," she said. I don't believe her.
Friday
"There is no such thing as good or evil, light or
dark, right or wrong. It's all relative"
Setsuna said that once and I find myself thinking
of it all the time. Am I really that bad for being
Destruction? Is what they say true?? Death is a
part of life, but it is shunned for being evil and
cruel. I talked to the braided boy last night, and
he said people have no perspective. Death puts
reality in check, shows them how precious life
really is. I'm so indecisive. I believe what he
says, yet part of me refuses. I want to go with
Chibi-Usa, but part of me knows it's dangerous. I
really don't know what to do...
Saturday
I'm leaving for the amusement park in two hours.
Usagi and Chibi-Chibi are coming along with me and
Chibi-Usa. I don't want to go.
Sunday
This is my last entry. The braided boy was right.
You lose the ones closest to you. We were on a
roller coaster. Usagi, Chibi Usa and Chibi-Chibi
were in the front car. And... it detached. First
I heard the screams, then I saw the car veer off
the track and explode as it hit the ground. It
was horrible. The smell of blackened metal and
charred flesh; it made me sick to my stomach. And
then I saw it. The locket. The Ginzuishou
transformed into nothing more than clouded shards
of glass. No one blamed me, but I feel guilty as
sin. I didn't mean it. No one was supposed to die.
I just wanted to get even with Usagi for telling me
off earlier. But I can't change the past, so I must
change the future. The goddess of destruction was
never meant to walk in the world of the living. So
that's it. I'm returning to the land of Shinigami.
Goodbye, good luck, and farewell.
Hotaru Tomoe
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It had been a day since the death of the
princess and everyone was truly grief-stricken.
After she had came home, Hotaru had locked herself
in her room. Michiru had come out of her selfish
crying long enough to check on her.
"Hotaru, it's me. Can I come in??"
Without waiting for an answer, she opened the
door.
"Oh my god!! Oh my god!!! HOTARU!!!"
Haruka and Setsuna quickly sprinted down the
hall to see what had made Michiru so
hysterical.
And there she was. Hanging lifelessly from
her favorite chandelier, her face mirrored by
crystal beads that threw little rainbows around
the room. And for all the world, she truly
looked the part of the broken angel holding a
letter from god.
Haruka walked up and tentatively
touched her hand.
Cold, limp, lifeless, dead.
Haruka then pulled the sealed envelope,
carefully taped to Hotaru's hand, from
her and slowly opened it.
Everyone,
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused.
For all the pain you've suffered. It's
all my fault. I killed that girl. I
killed Usagi. Setsuna-mama, you were
right all along. I was never meant to
be reincarnated. The Goddess of
Destruction was never meant to live
in peace with the ones she was sent
to destroy. I love you all and I
wish there was some other way... but I
could not find one.
Best Wishes,
Hotaru Tomoe
Tears welled up in Setsuna's eyes. Then she
broke down crying.
"It wasn't her fault..." she sobbed, "That
little girl, she died of an aneurysm. And
Usagi... It was Chaos. I traced it back.
Hotaru could never have made the crystal
shatter like that..."
"How could this happen?!?" demanded Haruka,
hands on her hips.
Then it dawned on Michiru.
"She knew..." her voice was barely a whisper,
raging on the verge of hysterical, "She must've
known how paranoid we were... and it got to her.
And she believed it. She believed *us*. She
didn't want to hurt anyone..."
Setsuna then realized with a heavy heart, that
this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been so
scared. That it should never have happened, she
should have had faith in one she raised as a
daughter, one who called her 'mama'.
Haruka, feeling the same way, felt her eyes widen
and her pulse quicken in panic.
"Hotaru didn't commit suicide. We killed her. We
killed her!!!!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Authors notes: An aneurysm is a burst blood vessel
in the brain. It causes instant death. And Hotaru
is my favorite character. Just because she died
does not mean I hate her. I identify with her the
most and was just in the mood to write something
depressing because I was depressed.
Questions, comments, flames?!? Please review and
go ahead and critisise.
it on one of those days when I was really depressed
and sort of suicidal. Oh well, the usual disclamer:
Sailormoon does not belong to meand neither does
any other copyrighted material. Really, if I did
own this stuff, would I be wasting my time writing
this??
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Broken Angel
Sunday
Today I heard Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa
talking. Setsuna looked like she was holding back
a thousand tears and Haruka looked as if a new
enemy was attacking. The lines of worry etched
across her face made me pause and listen. For
them to look as if the world is ending must mean
something truly terrible is happening.
"Are you sure?" questioned Haruka, her
emotional state shown by the husky tone of
her voice.
"Yes," sighed Setsuna, wearily sinking
into an armchair. "Taru-chan will indeed
be the unmaker of our world. If she stays
here, our dimention will cease to
exist..."
"And all we have worked for will amount to
naught??"
"Yes."
I couldn't listen anymore. My heart had shattered
like Setsuna-mama's fine china tea cups:
exploding in every direction, razor sharp and
cutting into my soul. I must do something.
Monday
My fate has caused me
to find a new direction
I am a mistake
Thursday
I am not human. I killed a girl today. She was
beating some poor child. I willed her to die.
Didn't touch her, didn't threaten her. Just willed
her to die. And she did, fell to the ground like a
marionette cut from its strings. No scream, just a
thump as she collapsed, a mask of rage still on
her face. I felt neither remorse nor glee. I felt
nothing.
Monday
I don't dream anymore and I don't smile either.
I feel empty. Chibi-Usa says I'll feel better
after we go to the amusement park this weekend.
I don't want to go. I have a feeling it will
all end in tragedy.
Tuesday
Michiru-mama left her e-mail open, so out of
curiosity I read it.
Michiru-
I feel it. The silence is unraveling the
bonds that pulled us together and death
has singled us out one by one. Rei says
that the sacred fire is dying and showing
her a future of barren earth. Ami says that
the earth itself is absorbing negative
energy and slowly destroying itself. The
Ginzuishou is losing its power. We must
deal with her as soon as possible.
-Setsuna
I realized they were talking about me. I knew I
didn't belong here, on this beautiful planet with a
future. I knew I was 'wrong'. But I can't change
what I am. Maybe I should leave...
Wednesday - Midnight
I had a dream for the first time in a week. In it I
was talking to a braided boy.
"We do not belong on this earth," he said.
"Why not???" I asked.
"Because we're the children of Shinigami."
"NANI?!?"
"Like I said, we're the children of
Shinigami. I'm death, you're destruction.
We can't stay in this world. We hurt so
many; especially the one's we love..."
He began to fade into the mists.
I heard his voice carried on a non-existent wind.
"T a k e c a r e ....."
"Wait!!!" I cried, but he was already
gone.
I woke up in a cold sweat, disoriented, unsure of
what to do. I'm afraid.
Thursday - Morning
I told Setsuna I didn't want to go with Chibi Usa.
She would hear nothing of the sort. "You'll
have a good time," she said. I don't believe her.
Friday
"There is no such thing as good or evil, light or
dark, right or wrong. It's all relative"
Setsuna said that once and I find myself thinking
of it all the time. Am I really that bad for being
Destruction? Is what they say true?? Death is a
part of life, but it is shunned for being evil and
cruel. I talked to the braided boy last night, and
he said people have no perspective. Death puts
reality in check, shows them how precious life
really is. I'm so indecisive. I believe what he
says, yet part of me refuses. I want to go with
Chibi-Usa, but part of me knows it's dangerous. I
really don't know what to do...
Saturday
I'm leaving for the amusement park in two hours.
Usagi and Chibi-Chibi are coming along with me and
Chibi-Usa. I don't want to go.
Sunday
This is my last entry. The braided boy was right.
You lose the ones closest to you. We were on a
roller coaster. Usagi, Chibi Usa and Chibi-Chibi
were in the front car. And... it detached. First
I heard the screams, then I saw the car veer off
the track and explode as it hit the ground. It
was horrible. The smell of blackened metal and
charred flesh; it made me sick to my stomach. And
then I saw it. The locket. The Ginzuishou
transformed into nothing more than clouded shards
of glass. No one blamed me, but I feel guilty as
sin. I didn't mean it. No one was supposed to die.
I just wanted to get even with Usagi for telling me
off earlier. But I can't change the past, so I must
change the future. The goddess of destruction was
never meant to walk in the world of the living. So
that's it. I'm returning to the land of Shinigami.
Goodbye, good luck, and farewell.
Hotaru Tomoe
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It had been a day since the death of the
princess and everyone was truly grief-stricken.
After she had came home, Hotaru had locked herself
in her room. Michiru had come out of her selfish
crying long enough to check on her.
"Hotaru, it's me. Can I come in??"
Without waiting for an answer, she opened the
door.
"Oh my god!! Oh my god!!! HOTARU!!!"
Haruka and Setsuna quickly sprinted down the
hall to see what had made Michiru so
hysterical.
And there she was. Hanging lifelessly from
her favorite chandelier, her face mirrored by
crystal beads that threw little rainbows around
the room. And for all the world, she truly
looked the part of the broken angel holding a
letter from god.
Haruka walked up and tentatively
touched her hand.
Cold, limp, lifeless, dead.
Haruka then pulled the sealed envelope,
carefully taped to Hotaru's hand, from
her and slowly opened it.
Everyone,
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused.
For all the pain you've suffered. It's
all my fault. I killed that girl. I
killed Usagi. Setsuna-mama, you were
right all along. I was never meant to
be reincarnated. The Goddess of
Destruction was never meant to live
in peace with the ones she was sent
to destroy. I love you all and I
wish there was some other way... but I
could not find one.
Best Wishes,
Hotaru Tomoe
Tears welled up in Setsuna's eyes. Then she
broke down crying.
"It wasn't her fault..." she sobbed, "That
little girl, she died of an aneurysm. And
Usagi... It was Chaos. I traced it back.
Hotaru could never have made the crystal
shatter like that..."
"How could this happen?!?" demanded Haruka,
hands on her hips.
Then it dawned on Michiru.
"She knew..." her voice was barely a whisper,
raging on the verge of hysterical, "She must've
known how paranoid we were... and it got to her.
And she believed it. She believed *us*. She
didn't want to hurt anyone..."
Setsuna then realized with a heavy heart, that
this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been so
scared. That it should never have happened, she
should have had faith in one she raised as a
daughter, one who called her 'mama'.
Haruka, feeling the same way, felt her eyes widen
and her pulse quicken in panic.
"Hotaru didn't commit suicide. We killed her. We
killed her!!!!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Authors notes: An aneurysm is a burst blood vessel
in the brain. It causes instant death. And Hotaru
is my favorite character. Just because she died
does not mean I hate her. I identify with her the
most and was just in the mood to write something
depressing because I was depressed.
Questions, comments, flames?!? Please review and
go ahead and critisise.
