Hey, Aika here!! This is my first deathfic. I wrote it on one of those days when I was really
depressed and sort of suicidal. Oh well, the usual disclamers: Sailormoon does not belong to me
and neither does any other copyrighted material. Really, if I did own this stuff, would I be
wasting my time writing this?? Hell no!! I'd be chillin' in my own penthouse in NYC. And with
out further ado; the fic!!! ^_~
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Goddess of Destruction
Sunday
Today I heard Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa talking. Setsuna looked like she was holding back a
thousand tears and Haruka looked as if a new enemy was attacking. The lines of worry etched
across her face made me pause and listen. For them to look as if the world is ending must mean
something truly terrible is happening.
"Are you sure?" questioned Haruka, her emotional state shown by the husky tone of her voice.
"Yes," sighed Setsuna, wearily sinking into an armchair. "Hota-chan will indeed be the unmaker
of our world. If she stays here, our dimention will cease to exist..."
"And all we have worked for will amount to naught??"
"Yes."
I couldn't listen anymore. My heart had shattered like Setsuna-mama's fine china tea cups:
exploding in every direction, razor sharp and cutting into my soul. I must do something.
Monday
My fate has caused me
to find a new direction
I am a mistake
Thursday
I am not human. I killed a girl today. She was beating some poor child. I willed her to die.
Didn't touch her, didn't threaten her. Just willed her to die. And she did, fell to the ground
like a marionette cut from its strings. No scream, just a thump as she collapsed, a mask of
rage still on her face. I felt neither remorse nor glee. I felt nothing.
Monday
I don't dream anymore and I don't smile either. I feel empty. Chibi Usa says I'll feel better
after we go to the amusement park this weekend. I don't want to go. I have a feeling it will
all end in tragedy.
Tuesday
Michiru-mama left her e-mail open, so out of curiosity I read it.
Michiru-
I feel it. The silence is unraveling the bonds that pulled us
together and death has singled us out one by one. Rei says
that the sacred fire is dying and showing her a future of
barren earth. Ami says that the earth itself is absorbing
negative energy and slowly destroying itself. The silver
crystal is losing its power. We must deal with her as soon
as possible.
-Setsuna
I realized they were talking about me. I knew I didn't belong here, on this beautiful planet
with a future. I knew I was 'wrong'. But I can't change what I am. Maybe I should leave...
Wednesday- Midnight
I had a dream for the first time in a week. In it I was talking to a braided boy.
"We do not belong on this earth," he said.
"Why not???" I asked.
"Because we're the children of shinigami."
"NANI?!?"
"Like I said, we're the children of shinigami. I'm death, you're destruction. We can't
stay in this world. We hurt so many; especially the one's we love..."
He began to fade into the mists.
I heard his voice carried on a non-existent wind.
" T a k e c a r e ....."
"Wait!!!" I cried, but he was already gone.
I woke up in a cold sweat, disoriented, unsure of what to do. I'm afraid.
Thursday-Morning
I told Setsuna I didn't want to go with Chibi Usa. She would hear nothing of the sort. "You'll
have a good time," she said. I don't believe her.
Friday
"There is no such thing as good or evil, light or dark, right or wrong. It's all relative"
Setsuna said that once and I find myself thinking of it all the time. Am I really that bad for
being Destruction? Is what they say true?? Death is a part of life, but it is shunned for being
evil and cruel. I talked to the braided boy last night, and he said people have no perspective.
Death puts reality in check, shows them how precious life really is. I'm so indecisive. I
believe what he says, yet part of me refuses. I want to go with Chibi Usa, but part of me knows
it's dangerous. I really don't know what to do...
Saturday
I'm leaving for the amusement park in two hours. Usagi and Mamoru are coming along with me and
Chibi Usa. I don't want to go.
Sunday
This is my last entry. The braided boy was right. You lose the ones closest to you. We were on
a roller coaster. Usagi, Chibi Usa and Mamoru were in the front car and it detached. First I
heard the screams, then I saw the car veer off the track and explode as it hit the ground. It
was horrible. The smell of blackened metal and charred flesh; it made me sick to my stomach.
And then I saw it. The locket. The silver crystal transformed into nothing more than clouded
shards of glass. No one blamed me, but I feel guilty as sin. I didn't mean it. No one was
supposed to die. I just wanted to get even with Usagi for telling me off earlier. But I can't
change the past, so I must change the future. The goddess of destruction was never meant to
walk in the world of the living. So that's it. I'm returning to the land of shinigami.
Goodbye, good luck, and farewell.
Hotaru Tomoe
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It had been a day since the death of the princess and everyone was truly grief-stricken.
After she had came home, Hotaru had locked herself in her room. Michiru had come out of her
selfish crying long enough to check on her.
"Hotaru, it's me. Can I come in??"
Without waiting for an answer, she opened the door.
"Oh my god!! Oh my god!!! HOTARU!!!"
Haruka and Setsuna quickly sprinted down the hall to see what had made Michiru so hysterical.
And there she was. Hanging lifelessly from her favorite chandelier, her face mirrored by
crystal beads that threw little rainbows around the room. And for all the world, she truly
looked the part of the fallen angel holding a letter from god.
Haruka walked up and tentatively touched her hand.
Cold, limp, lifeless, dead.
Haruka then pulled the sealed envelope, carefully taped to Hotaru's hand, from her and slowly
opened it.
Everyone,
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused. For all the pain
you've suffered. It's all my fault. I killed that girl. I
killed Usagi. Setsuna, you were right all along. I was
never meant to be reincarnated. The Goddess of
Destruction was never meant to live in peace with
the ones she was sent to destroy. I love you all and I
wish there was some other way... but I could not find
one.
Best Wishes,
Hotaru Tomoe
Tears welled up in Setsuna's eyes. Then she broke down crying.
"It wasn't her fault..." she sobbed, "That little girl, she died of an aneurysm. And Usagi...
It was Chaos. I traced it back. Hotaru could never have made the crystal shatter like that..."
"How could this happen?!?" demanded Haruka, hands on her hips.
Then it dawned on Michiru.
"She knew..." her voice was barely a whisper, raging on the verge of hysterical, "She must've
known how paranoid we were... and it got to her. And she believed it. She didn't want to hurt
anyone..."
Setsuna then realized with a heavy heart, that this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been
so scared. That it should never have happened.
Haruka, feeling the same way, felt her eyes widen and her pulse quicken in panic.
"Hotaru didn't commit suicide. We killed her. We killed her!!!!"
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Authors notes: An aneurysm is a burst blood vessel in the brain. It causes instant death. And
Hotaru is my favorite character. Just because she died does not mean I hate her. I identify with
her the most and was just in the mood to write something depressing because I was depressed.
Questions, comments, flames?!? Please review and go ahead and critisise. Thank you for reading
my random thoughts ^_~
depressed and sort of suicidal. Oh well, the usual disclamers: Sailormoon does not belong to me
and neither does any other copyrighted material. Really, if I did own this stuff, would I be
wasting my time writing this?? Hell no!! I'd be chillin' in my own penthouse in NYC. And with
out further ado; the fic!!! ^_~
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Goddess of Destruction
Sunday
Today I heard Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa talking. Setsuna looked like she was holding back a
thousand tears and Haruka looked as if a new enemy was attacking. The lines of worry etched
across her face made me pause and listen. For them to look as if the world is ending must mean
something truly terrible is happening.
"Are you sure?" questioned Haruka, her emotional state shown by the husky tone of her voice.
"Yes," sighed Setsuna, wearily sinking into an armchair. "Hota-chan will indeed be the unmaker
of our world. If she stays here, our dimention will cease to exist..."
"And all we have worked for will amount to naught??"
"Yes."
I couldn't listen anymore. My heart had shattered like Setsuna-mama's fine china tea cups:
exploding in every direction, razor sharp and cutting into my soul. I must do something.
Monday
My fate has caused me
to find a new direction
I am a mistake
Thursday
I am not human. I killed a girl today. She was beating some poor child. I willed her to die.
Didn't touch her, didn't threaten her. Just willed her to die. And she did, fell to the ground
like a marionette cut from its strings. No scream, just a thump as she collapsed, a mask of
rage still on her face. I felt neither remorse nor glee. I felt nothing.
Monday
I don't dream anymore and I don't smile either. I feel empty. Chibi Usa says I'll feel better
after we go to the amusement park this weekend. I don't want to go. I have a feeling it will
all end in tragedy.
Tuesday
Michiru-mama left her e-mail open, so out of curiosity I read it.
Michiru-
I feel it. The silence is unraveling the bonds that pulled us
together and death has singled us out one by one. Rei says
that the sacred fire is dying and showing her a future of
barren earth. Ami says that the earth itself is absorbing
negative energy and slowly destroying itself. The silver
crystal is losing its power. We must deal with her as soon
as possible.
-Setsuna
I realized they were talking about me. I knew I didn't belong here, on this beautiful planet
with a future. I knew I was 'wrong'. But I can't change what I am. Maybe I should leave...
Wednesday- Midnight
I had a dream for the first time in a week. In it I was talking to a braided boy.
"We do not belong on this earth," he said.
"Why not???" I asked.
"Because we're the children of shinigami."
"NANI?!?"
"Like I said, we're the children of shinigami. I'm death, you're destruction. We can't
stay in this world. We hurt so many; especially the one's we love..."
He began to fade into the mists.
I heard his voice carried on a non-existent wind.
" T a k e c a r e ....."
"Wait!!!" I cried, but he was already gone.
I woke up in a cold sweat, disoriented, unsure of what to do. I'm afraid.
Thursday-Morning
I told Setsuna I didn't want to go with Chibi Usa. She would hear nothing of the sort. "You'll
have a good time," she said. I don't believe her.
Friday
"There is no such thing as good or evil, light or dark, right or wrong. It's all relative"
Setsuna said that once and I find myself thinking of it all the time. Am I really that bad for
being Destruction? Is what they say true?? Death is a part of life, but it is shunned for being
evil and cruel. I talked to the braided boy last night, and he said people have no perspective.
Death puts reality in check, shows them how precious life really is. I'm so indecisive. I
believe what he says, yet part of me refuses. I want to go with Chibi Usa, but part of me knows
it's dangerous. I really don't know what to do...
Saturday
I'm leaving for the amusement park in two hours. Usagi and Mamoru are coming along with me and
Chibi Usa. I don't want to go.
Sunday
This is my last entry. The braided boy was right. You lose the ones closest to you. We were on
a roller coaster. Usagi, Chibi Usa and Mamoru were in the front car and it detached. First I
heard the screams, then I saw the car veer off the track and explode as it hit the ground. It
was horrible. The smell of blackened metal and charred flesh; it made me sick to my stomach.
And then I saw it. The locket. The silver crystal transformed into nothing more than clouded
shards of glass. No one blamed me, but I feel guilty as sin. I didn't mean it. No one was
supposed to die. I just wanted to get even with Usagi for telling me off earlier. But I can't
change the past, so I must change the future. The goddess of destruction was never meant to
walk in the world of the living. So that's it. I'm returning to the land of shinigami.
Goodbye, good luck, and farewell.
Hotaru Tomoe
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It had been a day since the death of the princess and everyone was truly grief-stricken.
After she had came home, Hotaru had locked herself in her room. Michiru had come out of her
selfish crying long enough to check on her.
"Hotaru, it's me. Can I come in??"
Without waiting for an answer, she opened the door.
"Oh my god!! Oh my god!!! HOTARU!!!"
Haruka and Setsuna quickly sprinted down the hall to see what had made Michiru so hysterical.
And there she was. Hanging lifelessly from her favorite chandelier, her face mirrored by
crystal beads that threw little rainbows around the room. And for all the world, she truly
looked the part of the fallen angel holding a letter from god.
Haruka walked up and tentatively touched her hand.
Cold, limp, lifeless, dead.
Haruka then pulled the sealed envelope, carefully taped to Hotaru's hand, from her and slowly
opened it.
Everyone,
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused. For all the pain
you've suffered. It's all my fault. I killed that girl. I
killed Usagi. Setsuna, you were right all along. I was
never meant to be reincarnated. The Goddess of
Destruction was never meant to live in peace with
the ones she was sent to destroy. I love you all and I
wish there was some other way... but I could not find
one.
Best Wishes,
Hotaru Tomoe
Tears welled up in Setsuna's eyes. Then she broke down crying.
"It wasn't her fault..." she sobbed, "That little girl, she died of an aneurysm. And Usagi...
It was Chaos. I traced it back. Hotaru could never have made the crystal shatter like that..."
"How could this happen?!?" demanded Haruka, hands on her hips.
Then it dawned on Michiru.
"She knew..." her voice was barely a whisper, raging on the verge of hysterical, "She must've
known how paranoid we were... and it got to her. And she believed it. She didn't want to hurt
anyone..."
Setsuna then realized with a heavy heart, that this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been
so scared. That it should never have happened.
Haruka, feeling the same way, felt her eyes widen and her pulse quicken in panic.
"Hotaru didn't commit suicide. We killed her. We killed her!!!!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Authors notes: An aneurysm is a burst blood vessel in the brain. It causes instant death. And
Hotaru is my favorite character. Just because she died does not mean I hate her. I identify with
her the most and was just in the mood to write something depressing because I was depressed.
Questions, comments, flames?!? Please review and go ahead and critisise. Thank you for reading
my random thoughts ^_~
