"Survivor?"
by Capt. Janeway

RATING: G

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is based on an idea that my dad gave me about a month ago. I realize that
sometimes the characters are a little out of character, but . . . well, just read the fic. Hope it puts a little
smile on your face. :)

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"Captain, shields are down to three percent," Tuvok calmly announced right in the middle of the battle
with the Borg ship.

*Three percent?* Captain Janeway echoed to herself. *I don't think they've ever been that low before .
. . Usually it's either double-digits or no shields at all, but three percent?*

"Keep firing," she said. "We're not going to surrender!"

"But, Captain, that's suicide!" Paris shouted as he tapped out something on his console. Suddenly, a
panicked look spread across his face. "And we couldn't even if we wanted to!"

"Why not?!"

"Because we just ran out of torpedoes!!"

*We ran out of torpedoes?! That NEVER, EVER happens!! What the heck is going on here?*
Janeway wondered. *I know this is the last episode, but you'd think that the writers wouldn't put us in
such a ridiculously dire situation and expect us to get out of it. Unless . . . Oh, no! Maybe they DON'T
want us to get out of it!! Maybe they just want us to die!!*

"Captain!! I'm detecting an alien ship approaching," Harry Kim interrupted her thoughts.

"Not another one," Janeway muttered.

"It is a Kazon ship," Tuvok specified.

"The Kazon?" That was Chakotay. "We haven't fought them in years! What are they doing here?"

"Perhaps they are Borg-Kazon," Tuvok suggested.

"Borg-Kazon? Did somebody from each of their royal families get married or something?" Paris
laughed.

"Tom, you concentrate on that battle," Chakotay reminded him.

"Well, there isn't a whole lot for me to do since we're out of torpedoes and our shields are down to," he
glanced at his console, "two-point-three-five percent."

"Well, go fly a shuttlecraft or something, then," Chakotay suggested. "Maybe you can draw away their
fire."

"No way! This is the last episode! I might actually die!!"

"All right, now," Janeway broke in. "Let's not do anything irrational. Mister Paris is right: Any one of
us could die in this episode."

"Except Seven," Chakotay reminded her.

"That is correct," Seven of Nine affirmed. "As I am by far the most popular character, I will never die."

"That's true. All right, then: Any one of us *except Seven* could die in this episode," Janeway
continued her speech in spite of the fact that both the Borg and the Kazon were now firing on Voyager.
"I think that we must proceed with caution, and--"

"Uh, Captain?" Paris interrupted.

"Mister Paris, you should know better than to interrupt my speech!"

"Yeah, but--"

"I said no interruptions!"

"Captain, I think you should--" Kim started

"That goes for you, too, Mister Kim!"

"--take a look at the viewscreen."

Janeway turned and discovered that the viewscreen was split so both the Borg Queen and the Captain
of the Kazon ship could be seen. The Borg Queen had her usual smug look on her face, while the
Kazon Captain looked like he was having a bad hair day.

"Oh. Thank you, Mister Kim." Janeway slouched a little in her chair and addressed the Borg Queen
and the Kazon Captain in a very good-natured voice: "Well, what can I do for you two?"

"We want to destroy you," said the Kazon Captain.

"Ah, very good. Well, unfortunately, we can't let you do that because that would completely destroy
any chance we have at making a Star Trek movie featuring the Voyager crew," Janeway said. "How
about you?" she asked the Borg Queen.

"We want to assimilate you," said the Borg Queen.

"See, there's that pesky problem again. If we let you assimilate us, then the movie would be about a
Starfleet crew that was assimilated by the Borg, not a Starfleet crew trying to get back to the Alpha
Quadrant."

"Would that be a bad thing?" asked Kim as he gestured toward Seven.

Choosing to ignore Kim's legitimate question, Janeway asked, "Is there anything else we can do for
you?"

"Not really," said the disappointed Kazon Captain. "We just wanted to destroy you, that's all."

"Well, perhaps there is one thing you can do for me, Captain," said the Borg Queen.

"What is it?" Janeway asked.

"Could you give us Seven of Nine? I mean, we really do miss her. Every planet the Borg conquer in
the Delta Quadrant wants to get to know her. You'd think she was some kind of a celebrity or
something."

Janeway looked at Seven for a moment as she considered it.

*It wouldn't be fair to Seven, but at least we could eliminate the possibility of her stealing the movie,
unless they decide to call it "The Wrath of Seven,"* Janeway mused. *And she technically wouldn't be
dead. Kind of like when Kes fizzled into a cloud of energy or whatever.*

"Sure, go ahead. Have a nice trip, Seven," Janeway said.


Seven of Nine shot a look of pure hatred toward Captain Janeway as she was beamed off the bridge.


"Thank you, Captain," the Borg Queen said as Seven began to materialize behind her. "Unfortunately,
we still have to try to assimilate you, since this is the last episode, and we have to make the situation as
dire as possible."

"Captain," Kim broke in, "I'm detecting another alien vessel."

"Of unknown origin," Tuvok specified.

"On screen," said Janeway.

The screen was now divided into three sections. On the new section, a small dot could be seen among
the stars.

"Magnify," said Captain Janeway.

Suddenly, the second section only had a view of the Kazon Captain's nose.

"No, not that one!! The third one, with the alien ship in it!!"

The rest of the Kazon Captain's upper body was restored, and the dot in the third section was
magnified to be . . . Well, a ship that we aren't familiar with.

"What is it?" Janeway wondered aloud.

"It is Species six-seven-zero-two-four-five-six-seven-eight-and-a-half," rattled Seven of Nine, who
was standing behind the Borg Queen. "A very hostile species . . . Very appropriate for a final episode."

"Anything in particular we should know about Species . . . uh . . . that species you just mentioned,
Seven?" Chakotay asked.

"Why should I tell you? You let the Borg take me back. Now I will be reassimilated and will have to
go through the process of deassimilation all over again."

"Seven, please tell us," pleaded Janeway.

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with cherries and whipped cream and hot fudge and lots of other delicious and sugary
and fattening stuff on top?"

"No. I must watch my weight if I am to continue to wear this costume."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Well, anyway," said the Borg Queen, "prepare to be assimilated, resistance is futile, and all that other
stuff."

Suddenly, twelve Borg drones beamed on the bridge just as B'Elanna Torres-Paris, Neelix, and the
Doctor stepped off the turbolift.

"Oh, well, this is great," commented B'Elanna.

"Uh, I'll just, uh, be going back down to the, uh, Mess Hall now," said a nervous Neelix as he struggled
in the grip of a drone that had seized him.

"Ah, I see that some people will be needing medical attention in a matter of seconds," the Doctor said
happily. He went to a corner of the bridge and sat down cross-legged, eagerly waiting for someone to
get hurt so he could have a new patient to pester.

"Captain!" That was Kim.

"What?!" Janeway demanded.

"The alien ship is firing on us!!"

"Oh, well, somebody return fire!!"

"We can't!! We ran out of torpedoes, remember?" Paris reminded them both.

"Shields are down to point-oh-five percent, Captain," Tuvok said as though he was announcing that the
weather would be partly cloudy with a chance of rain.

"Hey, now that their shields are next to nothing, they're out of torpedoes, and some other ship is
attacking them, let's start firing on Voyager again," suggested the Kazon Captain to the Borg Queen.

"Good idea," replied the Borg Queen.

Seven of Nine grinned malevolently.

"May I fire?" she asked.

"Sure," said the Borg Queen.

Voyager began to shudder, the lights dimmed, and sparks flew from the consoles just as Neelix was
assimilated by that drone who had captured him. Chakotay and Janeway slouched down in their chairs
while Paris and Kim hid under their consoles. Tuvok decided to sit on top of his console and meditate.
B'Elanna began wrestling a drone just as the Doctor rushed up to Neelix with a medkit, asking all sorts
of medical questions.

"Are you feeling pain?" the Doctor asked.

"Resistance . . . is . . . futile," muttered Neelix.

"Nausea?"

"Lower your shields and surrender your ships . . ."

"A slight pressure on your forehead?"

"Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own . . ."

"I'm sorry, Mister Neelix, but you're going to have to come with me to sickbay," said Doctor.

"Resistance is futile . . ." continued Neelix as the Doctor dragged him into the turbolift.

"Well, Chakotay," began Janeway with tears in her eyes, "it looks like this is it."

"Shields down to point-one percent, Captain," Kim mumbled glumly.

"Yes, Kathryn, I know. It's the end. But, I'm glad that I get to spend it with you," Chakotay said
fondly.

"You know, Chakotay, there's something that I've always wanted to tell you," Janeway said softly.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You're a really lousy first officer."

Chakotay was stunned.

"Well, really," Janeway continued, "all you do is yell at Tom Paris and grovel at my feet."

"Really," said an angry Chakotay.

"Really."

"Well, I've got something to say, too: You make some pretty stupid decisions, *Captain!*"

"What?! How dare you!! I'm the captain of this ship!!"

Chakotay was about verbalize another observation regarding his captain when there was an intense
flash of light, and everything was silent.

When the crew managed to open their eyes, they noticed that they were in a . . .


Holodeck?!


"What's going on?" asked B'Elanna, who had a nice bruise on her cheek after fighting with the drone.

"I don't know . . . And what am I doing here? This is supposed to be sickbay!" said the Doctor.

"I'm supposed to be on the Borg ship," stated Seven.

"Is this where dead people go?" asked the glum Paris.

"Resistance is futile," said Neelix.

"Please do not disturb me. I am meditating," requested Tuvok.

"Um . . . Line, please!" said Kim. A man dressed in black clothes ran from somewhere off camera up
to Kim and whispered something in his ear.

"Oh! Uh, 'Where are we?'" asked Kim after the man ran back off camera.

"I'm supposed to be slouched in my chair!" said Chakotay.

"So am I!" said Janeway. "What is going on?!"

"I already asked that, Captain," said B'Elanna.

Suddenly, the holodeck doors whooshed open, and three Starfleet officers that nobody recognized
walked in.

"Well, look at our stars," said one man.

"Stars?" asked Captain Janeway.

"That's right," said the female Starfleet officer. "This show is sure to be a smash hit on CBS's next
season!"

"What-what do you mean?" asked the Doctor.

"You don't know?" said the second man.

"I thought someone told you all," said the first man.

"Told us what?!" demanded B'Elanna.

"That you're all part of the latest installment of 'Survivor'!!" That was the woman.

"WHAT?!" exclaimed the entire group of Voyager's senior officers.

"That's right, 'Survivor MCMLXVII: The Delta Quadrant.' Of course, you weren't *really* in the Delta
Quadrant . . . We had to use a holodeck just to make sure that nobody really got hurt," said the first
man.

"Really? Then how do you explain Neelix?" accused the Doctor.

"Resistance is futile," mumbled Neelix.

"Oh, that? It's just a medication we inject 'assimilated' people to make them said that. It'll rub off in a
few hours," said the third man.

"So, what are we supposed to do, now?" asked Captain Janeway, who was still skeptical of this whole
theory.

"Well, there was a malfunction in the holodeck program, so we'll have to strand you all somewhere else
on Earth so you can decide who the winner is," said the woman.

"So we weren't really in the Delta Quadrant?" asked B'Elanna.

"Nope," said the woman.

"Well, as long as we're back in the Alpha Quadrant, which I assume we are, I'm happy," said Paris.

"You assumed right, and if you all will just follow us, then we'll take you to your hotel rooms where you
can get all cleaned-up for your banquet tonight," said the second man.

Great cheers echoed throughout the holodeck as the second man, the woman, and the Voyager crew
exited. Captain Janeway and the first man, however, stayed behind.

"Where are you going to strand us?" asked Janeway, who was still a little skeptical.

"Well," said the first man, putting his arm on her shoulder and leading her toward the holodeck doors,
"Have you ever heard of the South American rainforests?"

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Did you like it? Did you hate it? Either way, please let me know by reviewing!! Thank you!! :D