Author: Silver Miko
E -mail: silvermoon510@hotmail.com


Welcome all to my crazy tale of parody. This was inspired by Lianne Sentar and Amithyst's " The Adventures Of Psycho Setsuna". A VERY GOOD AND FUNNY FIC! Except the plot's different, but the same wackiness remains. I've needed to do a nice parody for a while. Look for cameos!
Ja ne!

WOOHOO! ENDYMION!- Silver watching ANY Sailor Moon episode where Mamoru is Prince Endymion. Love that armor!

COCA COLA!- Silver

Onward to destiny!- Vegete

Are you some kind of nutbar or something?- Darien, ' So You Wanna Be in Pictures?'

I wish I were a cat!- Aino Minako, Sailor Stars

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THE WACKY ADVENTURES OF THE CRAZY SENSHI
Part 1
Everyone was hanging around the Hikawa Shrine since that's were they always go when they're bored. The sacred fire was lit and all the Inner senshi, the cats, and Mamoru were lined up around Rei.
" Why do you get to summon Suzaku!" Usagi whined. " Because one: I'm already a miko, two: I know ancient Chinese, three: I'm the only virgin besides Mako-chan and Ami-chan." Minako and Usagi blushed, but not as brightly as Mamoru and the cats.
" Okay, let's begin." Rei began the chant and threw the scroll into the fire. Nothing happened. " Uh, Rei........ nothing's happening." Luna said. " DAMNIT! SUZAKU APPEAR!!!! I WANT A PANDA!!!!" Rei whined. "Damn Rei. You're taking this Suzaku no Miko thing too far." Minako sighed.

Meanwhile...............

" I will kill Mamoru and get Usagi for myself!" Seiya said to himself trying to pull off Tomo's I'm an Evil Bastard laugh. " Shut up you moron!" Yaten said pulling on Seiya's ponytail. " ITAI!" " Knock it off! I'm reading Super Advanced Physics here!" Taiki yelled. " Shut up! It's not my fault Kakyuu Princess kicked us off Kinmokusei! Just because Seiya kept trying to score with her." Yaten yelled.

" Haruka-papa! Michiru-mama! This prick stole my cookies!" Hotaru said pointing to some ugly Keisuke looking kid who was holding a Crayon Shin doll. " Don't worry, we'll take care of it." Michiru smiled. She and Haruka beat the kid up with their talismans and took all the cookies back. " Cookies........" Haruka said drooling. " You can have some. I got to keep my fragile appearance up!" Hotaru said playing with a baton. " Whatcha doing with that thing?" Setsuna said scarfing her face full with ice cream bars. " Practicing so I can twirl my glaive really cool!" Hotaru grinned. " Ah........" Setsuna said.


" SUZAKU! COME ON!!! After we sacrificed Luna to the pool gods!!!" Rei yelled. " Give it up. It's not working." Usagi sighed, petting a drenched Luna. " Damn! I wanted a big fat cuddly Panda!" Rei said sobbing hysterically. " Well, why don't we go to Nerima! Ami-chan can use Mercury Aqua Rhapsody on this fat old dojo guy and you'll have a panda in no time!" Minako said. " HAI!" Usagi said. " Or you could get a stuffed doll." Mamoru said. " Really?! That's great advice Mamoru-san!" Rei said happily. " No problem." " Mamo-chan you're so smart!" Usagi said hugging him. " I know." he sighed. " Yeah! It'll never leave my side! Even in battles! I'll be Sailor Mars! Panda Lover number 1!!"
" Rei-chan........ you're Sailor Mars?!" Yuuichirou said from the door. " You dumbass! You mean didn't figure it out yet!" Rei said smacking him upside the head. " Will you transform so I can see how short your fuku skirt is?" he said drooling. " No. You can get me my panda plushie!" " Alright! To make my Rei-chan happy, I shall get her a cute little panda dollie!" Yuuichirou said raising a fist in the air.

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" Ah, I'm full!" Setsuna said throwing away 10 Dove Ice Cream bar boxes. " Those cookies were good!" Haruka said burping. " Yeah......." Michiru agreed. Hotaru was still playing with her baton. " Come on! Now for the infinity 8!" She twirled it in an 8, but hit someone in the eye. " ITAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" a familiar rat voice yelled.
" You?! Three Lights!" Hotaru said throwing the baton aside. " Ouch!" " Hey." Yaten said waving, while Taiki just kept walking while reading until he walked himself into a light pole and lost consciousness. " GRR! Seiya Kou!" Haruka said. " Grr! Tenou Haruka!" " I thought I warned you to stay away from any senshi you rat tailed hentai!" Haruka said. " Shut up you butch bitch!" " Oh dear." Michiru and Yaten said as Haruka tackled Seiya and bashed his head into the pavement. " OW! DAMNIT!" " And this is for trying to score with Usagi! This is for trying to score with Michiru! This is for your f*cking one hit 'Naboregoshi Ne! This is for never letting Yaten sing more! This is for you being an asshole!" " Haruka........." " Yes, Michiru?" Haruka said sweetly. " He's passed out." " Oh." Haruka said getting up and dusting off her hands.

Yuuichirou and Mamoru were shopping around Ginza. " Mamoru-kun, thanks for coming with me!" " No problem, I needed to buy some plant food anyway." " You grow plants?" " Roses! ONLY ROSES!" Mamoru said as he suddenly stopped and looked in window drooling. " Nani?" Yuuichirou said. He looked in the window. It was a chocolate shop. A delicious treat filled shop. " Chocolate............ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....." Mamoru drooled. He immediately went in and bought ten pounds of candy.
" GASP! A CUTE LITTLE PANDA!" Yuuichirou screamed running into a store and buying it. He danced around. " YES! NOW REI AND I WILL BE MARRIED!!!" he shouted. " GOOD! Get her over me please! I'm sick of always feeling like she's watching me!" Mamoru said. " Will do!"

Meanwhile, Seiya was still plotting Mamoru's demise. He then saw Mamoru talking to the Outer Senshi. " Look! There he is!" Seiya said gleefully. He put on a red baseball cap and shades. " Oh, great disguise Seiya." Yaten said with his famous whatever expression.

Silver: SIGH!!! LOVE YATEN'S FACES!!!!! Seiya needs to get his ass kicked. Oh wait, he already did. ^^


" So, Three Lights are back eh?" Mamoru said. " Yup. You better watch out, dude, Seiya might try to kill you." Setsuna said. " Setsuna, you have chocolate all over your face." " AUGH! WHERE?!" Suddenly she saw a moist towelette on the ground. " YES!" grabbing it she washed her face off.
"Wait a sec! Gimme!" Haruka said grabbing the moist towelette. She sniffed it. " Lemon scented........ This is one of Taiki's!" Haruka looked up to see the Three Lights hanging from a lamp pole. Taiki was reading, Yaten was grumbling, and Seiya was holding a bowling ball. " Uh........ hey!" Seiya said still aiming for Mamoru's head.
" SEIYA! YOU RAT!" Haruka yelled. She quickly climbed up the pole and began smacking Seiya. " Ouch! Get away!" Seiya screamed like a girl. Yaten and Taiki climbed down and left Haruka to smack Seiya.
" Hi guys." Yaten said watching. " Hey........." Taiki said still reading. " What was Seiya trying to do?" Mamoru asked dumbly. " Huh? Are you serious?" Yaten said. " Don't mind him, Taiki's hair stuff is giving off some kind of smell that's messing with Mamoru's brain." Ami said appearing from behind Setsuna. " Right........ wait! Ami-chan!" Taiki said looking up from his book. Ami looked up from her book. " Taiki-san! Hi!" she said cutely. " What are you reading?!" " Stage 5 Calculus. You?" " Super Advanced Physics." " OH! Trade!" Ami said switching books with Taiki.
Meanwhile, Seiya began kicking and kicked Haruka in the face, causing her to fall off the pole, but she landed on her feet. " You damn rat!" " SCREW YOU! I WILL GET USAGI-CHAN!" Seiya said shaking a fist as he jumped into the Three Lights Mobile. " SEIYA! GET BACK HERE!" Yaten yelled as Seiya sped off.
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Later, the outer senshi, Mamoru, Taiki, Ami, Yaten, and Yuuichirou were all at Haruka's apartment. " OOH! CAN I GO SWIMMING!" Ami said excited seeing the large pool. " Sure!" Haruka said. " YEAH!" Ami said running and changing into a bathing suit. She did a cannon ball into pool and began swimming happily.
Taiki watched with some interest. " So guys, what are we going to do about Seiya? We can't let him kill Mamoru-san or else......." Michiru said looking to Setsuna. " Or else basically, the future is REALLY screwed. Where's the freezer?" she said walking into the kitchen. " WOOHOO! Ice cream!" she yelled happily devouring a Friendly's Snickers Ice Cream log.


Outside, Seiya was looking into the apartment through binoculars. " I'll get you yet prissy cape boy!!!" Seiya said laughing insanely. He jumped out of the car with a large back pack full of stuff.

" LOOKIE! I did a cartwheel underwater!" Ami said getting out of the pool and drying off. " Yeah! Nice!" Taiki said. " Thanks Taiki!" Ami said dancing happily. Setsuna was sitting on the couch full after eating the log of ice cream. Mamoru was playing with Rei's panda bear. " I'm Mr. Panda! I'm a cuddly bear! I can do karate and sing! You are my only love............" " Mamoru-san! Please stop singing!" Hotaru said hitting him on the head. " Yes miss."

Suddenly the door burst open and Seiya appeared with a bandanna around his forehead a la Rambo. " YOU'RE DEAD CAPEBOY!!!" he tossed a match into the bag and threw it into the room. The bag exploded and a brownish gas filled the room. Everyone plugged their noses. " YUCK! Who farted?!" Yuuichirou asked. " Minna, run! He's nuts!" Hotaru yelled. Haruka broke open her window. " Let's jump for it!" All of them jumped out of the window. " Uh, I just forgot, I live in a penthouse." " AUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!" everyone yelled as they flew seven stories to the ground.
Luckily they landed okay except for Yuuichirou. " Itai......." he said as Mamoru looked around for a get away. " MAMORU!!!" Seiya yelled standing behind them. " Uh........ STOP OR SILVE HAIRED BOY GETS IT!" Mamoru said. " Ow!" Yaten said feeling something pointy against his temple.
" That's a candy cane you moron!" Seiya yelled. "Ah well! Run for it!" Mamoru yelled. He spotted two cars. Haruka's beautiful yellow Ferarri, and a light blue Voltswagon station wagon. Mamoru chose the VW. He shoved Yaten into the front seat as the Outer Senshi and Yuuichirou dove into the back seat. Before Taiki and Ami could get in, Mamoru sped off laughing like an idiot.

" WAIT!" Ami yelled. She was still in her bathing suit. " Come on guys! Let's get them!" Seiya said in the Three Lights Mobile. " Screw you you crazy prick!" Taiki said. " Taiki, they have Ami's bag and your text books. " WHAT?!" Ami and Taiki screamed. They jumped into the car as Seiya sped off.
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" You f*cking moron! We should have taken my car!" Haruka said. " But this car is fun!" Mamoru grinned. " Hotaru, can you PLEASE get rid of the effect Taiki's hair stuff had on him?" " I'll try." Hotaru closed her eyes as purple light surrounded her hands and she touched Mamoru's head.
" OOH! PRETTY COLORS!" Mamoru said as Hotaru finished. " There." " Woah, what happened?" Mamoru asked. " Just drive, Mamoru!" Michiru said. " Hey guys. Who's car is this?" Yaten asked. He looked through the glove compartment. " Registered to Mizuno Ami...... Woah." " Ami's car? Shit her mom sure was cheap." Yuuichirou said. " Poor Ami."

"They better not hurt my car!" Ami sobbed. " That's your car?" Taiki asked. " Yeah. I had to work REALLY hard at Crown for it. If they get a scratch........." " Don't worry! Mamoru'll be dead soon." Seiya said smiling. " Uh, Seiya, you REALLY shouldn't kill Mamoru." Ami said. " Why?" " Uh.... damn, Setsuna-san's good at explaining this crap."

" What in hell is Crystal Tokyo?!" Yaten said. " GOD! I hate different season people!" Hotaru yelled. She explained everything to Yaten. " Woah....... Usagi's going to rule the entire universe with Mamoru? I guess Seiya really shouldn't kill Mamoru." " Yeah! If he does, then Crystal Tokyo will get screwed up, we won't get to rule our planets, and Small Lady won't be born!" Setsuna said. " Would that last part be so bad?" Haruka said. " Haruka!" Hotaru said. "Sorry Hotaru, but you got to admit she is annoying. Chibi Chibi was MUCH more cuter." Michiru said, applying chapstick.
" I'm hungry!" Yaten whined. " Well, HEY! There's a Burger World!" " YEAH!" everyone but Hotaru said. She held her head. " Oh God........ help me get through this...." Mamoru pulled up the drive thru window. A fifteen year old with poofy blond hair and a slack jaw appeared. " Heheh. Welcome to Burger World, what do you want?" " Uh, guys?" "COKE!" everyone yelled. " 7 Cokes, uh..........." " CHEESEBURGERS AND FRIES!" everyone yelled. " Okay, 7 orders of cheeseburgers and fries......... uh.........." Mamoru closed his eyes to think.
" Is that all sir?" the drive thru waiter, who sounded different said. " YUP!" Mamoru grinned. Suddenly he as pulled through the drive thru and came face to face with Seiya who was wearing a Burger World uniform. Seiya dragged Mamoru into the freezer where the blond kid and some brunette kid with braces were frozen. " Uh huh..... this sucks...." " Heheh... yeah." the blond said.
Seiya pinned Mamoru to the wall. " OKAY MASK! YOU DIE NOW!!!" Seiya said taking out some acid from his leather outfit. " Aw.... f*ck off!" Mamoru said trying to punch Seiya, but he was frozen to the wall. " Kuso!" Mamoru said. " STAR SENSITIVE INFERNO!!!" The door burst open as the outer senshi, Star Healer, and Yuuichirou appeared. " Get away from Mamoru-san!" Saturn yelled as she jumped at Seiya and began beating him with her Silence Glaive. Uranus began chipping away the ice with her Space Sword while Healer used Star Sensitive Inferno.
" YEAH! I'm free!" Mamoru said happily. " Saturn, come on!" Uranus yelled as they all transformed back into civilians. Hotaru ran out. Haruka and Michiru stopped. They saw a bunch of BW Cookies. They grabbed a bunch and ran out grabbing the food. Everyone jumped into the fun mobile and sped off.

Seiya brushed the ice chips off of him. " DAMN! Come on guys!" Seiya said to Taiki and Ami who were eating up all the fries. " Sorry........... uh Seiya, your hair......." Ami said as Taiki tried not to laugh. Seiya whipped out the mirror he always carried and screamed. His ponytail, and half of his hair was burnt off. " Shit, I must have spilled the acid on my head! AWWW! F*ck!" Seiya whined.

Silver: AHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!HA! Take that rat boy!
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End of part 1.
And I crazy enough yet. I've got another half of a glass of Coke left............hmmmmmmheheheheh HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (Professor Tomoe like laughter)

If you hadn't guessed, Burger World and the two fifteen year olds are from Beavis and Butt-Head.
Don't ask WHY Ami would buy a VW wagon. I thought it was one of the dumber things she might do.
Did anyone noticed I HATE Seiya but LOVE Yaten. I LOVE Mamo-chan too. Poor Hotaru. She's the only sane one. Wait.........................