Ship of the Valkryies (Part One)
A Star Trek crossover fanfic by Lt Taya 17 Janeway (TaTTooGaL™)
Author's note: This fanfic idea actually sprung off a comment made by Q in the Voyager episode "Deathwish" about the 'ship of the Valkryies' because all the men were gone. So my fellow drone-plushie 15 and I were thinking it would be really kewl if they had a ship just like that with no guys. We kinda realized that the twenty-fourth century Trek women actually fit quite well into the roles needed to run a starship, and I finally decided to get it started! For you 15! *smyle*
Caveat: Suspension of Time, Reality and Belief begins here. So you can't blame/nitpick/sue me for any discrepancies, inconsistencies or irrelevancies, BWAAHAHAHA!!! *ahem* sorry.
The story supposedly takes place in the early fifth season of Voyager (and therefore sixth of DS9), post-First Contact but pre-Insurrection. Insert any stardate you like. I'm not putting any in.
Disclaimer: Star Trek and everything else are registered trademarks and intellectual property of Paramount Pictures, which kinda goes without saying, because it is SO obvious I have no intellect whatsoever. *shrugs* Who cares?
Kira Nerys was beyond bone tired, a condition which was impossible anyway since bones didn't do any work and never got tired like normal muscles got tired. Not in the way Kira was tired now, at any rate. She felt like if she just closed her eyes she'd slump over onto the nearest support surface and go right to sleep.
So why the heck was she still out here in this infernally noisy bar with Jadzia Dax, getting elbowed, yelled at and annoyed with the perpetually drunken patrons at Quark's? I should be in my nice peaceful quarters having a nice peaceful time taking a nice peaceful nap!
Jadzia seemed oblivious to her friend's major discomfort and went on talking to the cute Terrelian guy sitting next to her. Kira scrutinized him for a while, decided that the thing she liked best about him was the end of his nose, which seemed less red than the rest of his face, and then looked around for something more interesting to feast her eyes on. Like the edges of carpet on the floor, for example. She thudded her head dully against the support strut flanking the ends of the bar. And can you believe that I'm on duty in Ops first thing tomorrow morning? The horrors of living on a space station.
Jadzia broke off her conversation with the less-than-engaging Terrelian guy and turned to give Kira a wicked grin. Kira couldn't even muster the energy to twitch one of the twenty-three muscles required to smile back, much less one of the forty-two required to frown disapprovingly at her friend. So she merely stoned.
Jadzia didn't have a hard time realizing that Kira was less than enthused by these turns of events. "What's wrong, Major?" she asked. "Aren't you having fun?"
Kira somehow found the brainpower for a sarcastic remark. "Oh, no, I'm having the most fun of my life out here being rattled, shaken and jarred even though I have been up for forty-eight hours and I need some friggin' sleep!"
Jadzia threw up her hands in mild annoyance. "Relax, Nerys, we're supposed to be off duty!"
"And off duty means sleep!" she retorted.
The Trill sighed and slapped her hand lightly on the edge of the bar. "The problem with you, is that you get so caught up and stressed up with your work that you don't know when and how to unwind!"
Kira, who had shut her eyes and slumped against the support strut a while ago, opened one eye to glare at Jadzia. "This coming from Miss Prim-and-Proper Starfleet Officer. I'd laugh if I had the energy."
"I'll show you Miss Prim-and-Proper in Ops tomorrow. Tonight I'm Madam Wild-and-Frivolous." Jadzia grabbed Kira's wrist and pulled her towards the center of the bar. "Come on, let's get a drink."
"Damn you and your chameleon personality," grumbled Kira, being unwillingly dragged along. "I suppose all you have to do is pretend you're Curzon and you can stay awake the whole night long flirting with men."
"On the contrary," said Jadzia, glancing back with a wicked smile, "if I were pretending to be Curzon I'd be flirting with all the women." She turned to scan the crowded bar. "Oh look, here comes Quark."
"Great, just what I needed," muttered Kira. "More Ferengi wheedling. Come on, Jadzia, I've been listening to them whine at me one after another all day. Give me a break, Jadzia, let's go!" And she tugged back hard on her friend's wrist.
Quark, approaching his two all-time favorite customers- well, nearly- caught wind of the last snatches of conversation and quickly stepped up his pace, hoping to catch them before they got away. But even before the word "Wait!" was out of his mouth, the duo had disappeared in a flash of light faster than one could say "latinum".
Quark blinked. "But I hadn't even said anything yet!" he protested to the empty spot once occupied by the two women.
******
In an abrupt flash of light, the sights, sounds, and most importantly, the owner of the bar disappeared from around Kira. For a moment, she thought that her prayers had been answered and the Prophet's divine intervention had saved her from her miserable plight. Until she saw the Borg, that was.
Immediately Kira's hand went to her phaser, her mind jumping to Red Alert, exhaustion momentarily forgotten. But the Borg was faster, and her hand went to the communicator on her chest. "Seven of Nine to Security. Intruder Alert!"
It was still coming through to Kira's dazed mind that this woman wasn't in full Borg regalia, looked mostly human in spite of the gray implant she sported on her left eyebrow, right cheek and hand, and most alarmingly, she wore a perfectly recognizable Starfleet commbadge on her chocolate unitard.
Her unnaturally huge blue eyes narrowed. "State your intentions."
Jadzia was stumped. "I don't know how we got here. Where are we? Half a moment ago we were-"
Kira interrupted her in the middle of her explanation, thinking she had a better, more succinct answer. "I want to go to bed." I'm probably already asleep in the middle of Quark's Bar at any rate, having some odd dream about meeting up with a dolled-up Borg.
Seven of Nine- if that was her designation- gave Kira a look which plainly said that the Borg thought she was insane. Kira couldn't really care less.
Jadzia nudged her away gently, probably figuring that she wasn't capable of coherent thought, much less coherent speech. "As I was saying, we were unwillingly transported from Deep Space Nine to here a moment ago. I'm afraid I have no idea what's going on. Where is this place?"
And for the first time Kira noticed her surroundings, which were pointedly non-Cardassian in design. Instead it more resembled the interior of a Federation starship, except that she'd never seen any part of any starship which looked like this. Consoles with dark glass tops ringed the circumference of the somewhat circular room, and she stood directly in front of a series of projectors and a wide viewscreen which took up a large part of one wall. It reminded Kira of the more impressive exhibition halls in some of the higher-end science museums she'd visited. Was it some kind of observation room, or an avant garde Stellar Cartography?
The Borg replied crisply, "You are in Astrometrics on board the USS Voyager, NCC-74656."
Kira frowned at the familiarity of the name. Then it clicked. "Of course! The ship which disappeared after leaving on its maiden voyage from our station!" She shuddered, remembering. "The investigation was pure hell."
Jadzia and Dax's brains, on the other hand, were working much faster and she caught the implications almost immediately. "But isn't the Voyager trapped in the Delta Quadrant?"
"Affirmative," replied Seven.
Even Kira wasn't too stoned to realize what that meant. "What?!? You mean… we're out here, on the other side of the galaxy? How are we supposed to get back? I'm not interested in a seventy-year journey back to my quarters and sleep!"
Seven looked perturbed, then tapped her communicator again. "Seven of Nine to Janeway."
A low feminine voice replied from the other end, deep and smoky. " Janeway here."
"I believe we have a problem."
Kira could practically hear Janeway roll her eyes in utter exasperation. "Tell me about it." She felt exactly the same way.
******
Reunions with old friends were always nice, thought Dr. Beverly Crusher distantly as she sat in the officers lounge. She was in the officer's lounge. The reunion was in the officer's lounge. Now, if only the friends were here, then life would be perfect. She rolled her eyes. Where was everyone?
As if on cue, Guinan slid into the room with the timeless grace that she had. "I'm sorry I'm late," she told Crusher in that soothing, mellow voice of hers. "Deanna is caught up with work, and won't be coming."
Crusher waved her hand dismissively. "Well, they always say three's a crowd. Deanna isn't necessary for our reunion." She grinned wickedly.
Guinan smiled at Crusher. "I'll be sure to tell her that the next time I see her." She settled down beside the doctor. "So, what's with the new haircut?"
"Oh, you mean this?" Crusher laughed, fingering locks of short strawberry blond hair. "Actually I've had this style for quite a while now. It was either this or a tribble haircut- so I picked this."
Guinan tried to imagine the good doctor with a tribble as a hairpiece and found it hard to keep a straight face. "So how's life been on the
"Oh, aside from Borg attacks, Cardassians and the Dominion War? Peachy, perfectly peachy."
"Speared by your rapier wit, as usual," said Guinan with that enigmatic smile of hers. "I'm sure that life outside the subspace distortion bubble around the Enterprise is untouched by the same."
Crusher said nothing, letting her playful glare speak volumes. " This is probably the reason why they decided not to have a Ten-Forward lounge on the Enterprise anymore…"
"Speaking of which, how does this place measure up to our old Ten-Fore?" Guinan glanced around the empty lounge. "Hmm. Nice furniture, I must say."
Crusher shrugged, unwilling to concede to defeat. "People don't really come here that often anymore. It must be the ugly chairs, or something." She paused in thought. "I miss Ten Forward, though. It had a… special ambience." She nudged Guinan. "Still interested in taking up a post on the Enterprise?"
Before Guinan could answer a raucous cacophony broke out from the entrance to the officer's lounge. It was the male portion of the senior crew, coming in for a barbaric session of male bonding. They spied the women and came over, mouths fixed into evil grins, preparing to drive them crazy. Crusher rolled her eyes as Riker leaned over and asked in a particularly annoying voice, "Are you having fun, girls?"
"They haven't changed one bit," laughed Guinan patiently.
"I wish they'd all just disappear and leave us alone," grumbled Crusher.
Then all the men around her disappeared in a flash of light. For a brief moment Crusher thought that a miracle had happened and someone had heard her silent prayer.
Then she realized she wasn't on the Enterprise anymore.
She was standing on a smaller, mostly empty circular bridge, smack in the center with a confused Guinan and Troi. There was a fourth woman standing in the middle of the bridge as well; a small, trim woman with glowing auburn hair, and clear, albeit alarmed, blue eyes. She dressed in an outdated uniform and had four pips on her collar: a captain.
Crusher blinked in surprise. "Where are we?"
The redhead shot them what could only have been an annoyed glance. "What have you done to the rest of my crew?" she demanded, hands on her hips.
Crusher exchanged a nervous, confused glance with Troi. "Nothing," she blurted, barely managing to avoid saying Mom at the end of it.
The redhead's glare intensified. Yep, definitely annoyed. Then she gave a long-suffering sigh and gestured expansively at the empty bridge around her. "This is most interesting. A few moments ago I was on a bridge with a full complement, and now I'm the only person on that bridge left. And the three of you just appear from nowhere. Any ideas why?" She paused. "Oh, by the way… I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager." She held her hand out to Crusher, who gingerly shook it, still blinking. "And you are?"
"Dr. Beverly Crusher of the Starship Enterprise…" She assessed the situation mentally. "If you ask me, it sounds like some puerile intergalactic prank to me. Swap The Starship Crews, or something."
Troi started. "Voyager? Wasn't that the ship which was trapped in some faraway quadrant or the other?"
"The Delta Quadrant," offered Janeway helpfully.
Troi nodded. "Halfway across the galaxy. Great. Now what's Ensign McKinley going to think? First counseling session and the counselor disappears to other side of the known universe."
Janeway angled an odd glance at her. "And you are the counselor of the Enterprise, I suppose?"
"Counselor Deanna Troi," she affirmed.
Guinan folded her arms, thinking. "If you ask me, this whole affair reeks too much of him."
Janeway gave her an intense stare catching on some subverbal cue at once. "Q?"
Crusher was mildly surprised. "You know Q? What makes you think he's behind all this?"
"Well, who else could have done this? Or would have done this?" countered Troi.
"True," conceded Crusher.
Janeway's communicator trilled. "Seven of Nine to Janeway."
She slapped her badge in mild irritation. "Janeway here."
The silky voice replied, "I believe we have a problem."
The captain rolled her eyes in exasperation and threw up her hands. "Tell me about it."
