Alone in her bedroom with just a book and a bottle of bourbon to keep her company, the Director of the NCIS, Jennifer "Jenny, Jen" Shepherd, finds herself flashing back to their last night in Paris, the night before she left him, the night before she shattered both of their hearts to pieces, never to be fixed, until she laid eyes on him again in MTAC.
Flashback, Paris, 1999.
He has his arm around her waist, holding her close as they walk back from the bar to their hotel, she's been quiet and has had a next to nothing appetite for days and she knows that Jethro is concerned about her but he hasn't pushed her to talk, something she's grateful for as she knows he will stop her plan if he found out.
"Are you okay? You barely ate anything today, or the past few days now that I think about it." Jethro asks. Jen sighs as she leans into him, she knows she can't tell him why she's not eating.
"I'm fine, Jethro." She says curtly as they step into their hotel lobby, Jethro heaves a sigh, clearly not believing her. Neither of them say anything as they walk up the stairs to their room, Jethro tightens his arm around her as she stumbles in her heels, but neither of them utter a word until their door is locked firmly behind them.
"Okay, Jen, you're going to tell me what's been going on with you these past few days and you're going to tell me now." Jethro orders get through gritted teeth. She smiles a dazzling smile at him as she peels the red dress from her body, leaving her in her heels and her underwear. As she suspected he would, he's forgotten all about his order and walks over to her slowly, taunting her almost like a tiger stalking his prey.
She watches as he gently pushes her back onto the bed and hovers above her, their eyes lock as he lowers his head to her neck. Her red heels bounce to the floor with a soft thump as she wraps her legs around him.
The perfect way to end the perfect night.
It's almost 11 at night and she's still awake, laying his warm arms, her head on his chest, his familiar heartbeat thumping in her ear, her usual lullaby can immediately put her to sleep the minute she lays her head on her chest, but tonight it's not working. She sighs and turns over in his arms and faces the door as her eyes fill with tears as she thinks about tomorrow. She slips out of his arms and walks to her bag where the damned thing is waiting for her to pull out and leave on her pillow for him to find in the morning. She shivers in his t-shirt and closes her eyes as the tears fall down her face. She's always been a silent crier but he knows when she's crying so she won't find it unexpected if he gets out of bed and wraps his arms around her and holds hervuntil the tears have stopped but that won't happen tonight as he's in a deep sleep thanks to the activities they did earlier tonight.
She looks at him from the balcony, the moon streams in through the curtains, her heart breaks every time she thinks about it, but knows it's the right thing to do: falling in love with her boss was not part of her five point plan.
She yawns and decides to slip back into bed, back into his arms one last time because tomorrow she would be gone, leaving both of them heartbroken.
She leans her head back on his chest, smiling when she feels her lullaby working its magic one final time.
She would be leaving Jethro, her heart and Paris in Paris.
Jen comes out of the flashback with a loud sob. She knows she made a terrible mistake six years ago when she left Jethro and her heart in Paris. She wishes she could go back in time and not walk out of that hotel room with her bags in hand, but she can't and she's been paying for it ever since.
Since she left him, she hasn't gotten a full night's sleep.
Since she left him, her heart has always remained with him and she's never gotten it back.
She wants her heart back along with him.
