Ship of the Valkryies (Part Sixteen)
A Star Trek crossover fanfic by Lt Taya 17 Janeway (TaTTooGaL™)
Deep Space Nine. Such a wonderful, beautiful place, complete with Cardassians, Ferengi and all. Kira relaxed with Jadzia and Keiko in Quark's Bar, taking a breather from the last few hectic days while the men- for once- did all the dirty work there was to do.
Somehow things had changed. Somehow she missed the ambience and the camaraderie she'd felt on Voyager. Somehow, it just didn't feel the same with all the men around, including Quark. Especially Quark. The ostensibly obsequious Ferengi had managed to worm his way under her skin three times in as many days, leaving her sickened at his obstreperous chicanery and artifice. Almost as bad as Q himself. The only way she'd been able to get rid of him thus far was to buy a hideously overpriced drink from him. So while Keiko fussed over Molly, who was missing Naomi sorely, she sat sipping that drink and talking with Jadzia. Much as the Trill hated to admit it, Kira knew that the girl missed piloting Voyager. She got such a kick from maneuvering large objects sometimes. One of these days the three of them had to find some time to take the Defiant out on a spin.
Bashir walked into the bar, obviously taking some time off from his work in the infirmary. Kira grinned. This was the chance she'd been waiting for the last few days. She beckoned the doctor over, and Bashir headed for them with a slight smile on his face.
Quark shuffled up to them as Bashir approached, and Kira dismissed him with several colorful suggestions on what she could do to the back of his head with a very large pitchfork if he didn't leave them alone.
Bashir nodded at the two women as Kira offered him a drink. "Hello, ladies. Is there anything I can do for you?"
The perfect set-up line!
Kira smiled sweetly at their chief medical officer. "As a matter of fact, I did have something in mind, actually…"
"And what would that be, precisely?" asked Bashir, ever eager to please.
And now for the punch line and the million-dollar look… Kira readied herself to burn Bashir's expression into her mind for posterity.
"Doctor, could you give me a set of bigger teeth?"
******
The Enterprise was back in business. Everything was running smoothly as usual. The entire senior crew, as well as Guinan, was having a good time in the officer's lounge as the rest of the crew worked with the ship. Picard pretended to have a few fascinating stories to tell, while Riker had offered to recount some of the more raunchy jokes he had exchanged with Paris. To save the rest of the crew from the horrors that would entail consent, the women had quickly begun to regale them with tales of heroism from their stint on Voyager. The men were amused by the amusing moments, were disgusted by Q's disgusting effrontery, and were thrilled by the thrilling victory the women had scored over the exasperating omnipotent being.
At the end of it all Riker nudged Guinan. "You know, it's pretty handy to have you around to deal with Q," he said. "Still want to take up the bartender post on this Enterprise?"
Guinan shook her head emphatically. "After this, I'd love nothing more than to go on a long vacation to somewhere that's far away, peaceful, and most of all, Q-free." At the deflated look on the faces of the rest of the crew, she sighed in an acceding manner and added, "But I'll give it some thought."
LaForge sighed. "It's too bad that Reg just got posted off the Enterprise and missed all the fun." His face creased into a grin. "Just wait until I tell him what happened with Voyager…"
******
"Alright, where is she?" Q flashed back into his little abode in the Continuum in mild irritation. "Where's the little schemer who ruined all my plans?"
Cass appeared in the doorway of the room. "Were you looking for me?"
"Ah, so that's where you've been hiding all this while." Q folded his arms and his voice took on a remonstrating tone. "Really, Cass, I'm disappointed in you. Are you aware just how far we strayed from the original objective of the Treasure Hunt? And to think that I spent all my time planning every Quset and even to the extent of creating all the opposing teams…" He shook his head as if aggrieved. "I took all the trouble to rescue you, teach you, meet your every need, and this is the thanks I get?" He shook his head. "If this is something you picked up from dearest Kathryn, appointing her as q's godmother was a very big mistake."
Cass shrugged. "She rescued me, taught me, and met my every need. It was the least I could do for her."
Q spluttered. "What, is this some kind of sexism? I did the same thing for you, and I don't see you repaying the favor!"
Cass folded her arms. "She wasn't omnipotent, and therefore her gift was more magnanimous than yours. Besides, the only reason why you decided to take me in was because you wanted me to look after Quinlan!"
"Not the only reason," responded Q, but it was a half-hearted protest.
Cass wandered over and picked Quinlan up, carrying the child's weight despite her petite form. "I win the bet, by the way."
Q feigned ignorance. "What bet?"
Cass turned around and gave him a sly don't-try-that-trick-on-me glance. "They didn't recognize me."
"Well, my dear girl, in case you didn't notice, I put a baffling shield around them specifically designed to prevent them from recognizing you… and furthermore, the name trick was my idea."
"I don't think my changing my name mattered much anyway," she said in annoyance, propping Quinlan up on one hip. "It's too phonetically similar to make a difference."
"Oh I'm sure it is, Kes," said Q. "Face it, everyone else fell for it because they didn't reconcile you with your name." He huffed in an affronted manner.
"Believe what you want." Kes walked into the adjoining room, still carrying Quinlan.
The girl nudged her gently. "So, did you take back Kathy's powers?"
Kes just smiled, putting one finger to her lips. "No, just suppressed them."
With a giggle, Quinlan waved a finger at the Ocampan. "Naughty… you weren't supposed to do that." She glanced slyly at Kes. "Does Daddy know?"
Kes patted Quinlan fondly on the head. "No. Nobody will find out… I'll make sure that she never uses them unduly." She favored the child with a small, wicked grin. "I won't tell if you won't."
"Deal." Quinlan shook Kes' hand.
"You know," said Kes causually as she looked over her shoulder, "I wonder what devious schemes you brother and your father are hatching behind our backs?" She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe we should hold a masculine version of Ship of the Valkyries for them someday, and see how they manage without us women. Continuum of the ValQries."
"Men stink," agreed Quinlan with a giggle.
Kes put the girl down with a smile. "Come on, let's go find your mother." And the two headed out of the house and into the depths of the Continuum.
Q watched them go, then turned to q. "I have to do something about those women," he said gravely. "I'm going to have to make them suffer for all that they did to me."
q grinned, his mind already scheming with ideas. "I have a few suggestions…"
His father gave him an appraising glance. "What...? Oh… I see… Most ingenious." He paced, and frowned in thought. "It can be done… oh yes, it can!" He thought some more. "That was a brilliant idea, son. The only problem is, how are we going to execute this?"
"I can do a good imitation of Kes," offered the young q cheerfully.
"Of course you can. It'd cause a splendid kink in the timeline, wouldn't it? And we just know how much Madame Captain hates time paradoxes." Q grinned savagely. "And only this time it wouldn't be a real time paradox. ... Yes! I like this. It is as devilish as befits a Q."
q paused to consider it for a while. "Kes will never talk to you again, though…"
Q shrugged it off. "We'll set it right in the end… and I'd say she deserves to squirm a little as well." He paused to think for a while. "Oh, and be sure to do something nasty to Lt. Torres… she tried to bite me."
q's evil grin widened. "So... if I help you with the impersonation of Kes, do I get something in return?"
Q narrowed his eyes, feeling a catch coming on. "What?"
"A day alone on the Voyager, as myself, with none of you around."
Q blinked at the cunning in his son's voice, then considered it. How bad could it get anyway? "I suppose the answer is yes…"
______The End______
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